Au: Human/Highschool 
Ship: Background Royality
Prompt: X
Requested by: X
Warnings: Dysphoria, minor transphobia? If there's anything I missed let me know.
Summary:  Patton struggles with more than he can handle at this point, his dysphoria suddenly spiking and not giving him a break.
F/A/H-C: Angst
POV: 3rd
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Side Note: I wrote this in about an hour. Take a wild guess how I was feeling today.

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"Why can't it just go away?" Patton murmured as he sat on his bed, "Leave me alone and let me be happy!" He snapped to no one. He was home alone, so the risk of him being found out was minimal. He just wanted to say something, scream, throw something. Do something! Just to get the feeling to go away! To make the stranger in the mirror stop being a stranger. His hair was too long. He couldn't cut it. He wasn't allowed. His mother said he had a  too round face shape and it 'wouldn't look good'

Though the thought had crossed his mind, several times. The yells and screams of his dad scared him more than anything in the world. He would get in trouble if he took the opportunity to take the pair of his scissors and just cut his hair to make it look better! He had stopped brushing it even, hoping in the back of his mind that it would get so tangled that they would Have to cut it. At least then it wouldn't be as bad of a blow.

But that time never came. He was stuck like this, trapped and he wasn't going to be able to escape, not any time soon anyway. He had tried to come out, and he was met with acceptance! At first... then... After a few weeks, his mom changed her mind. Saying that 'she' was just a bit more masculine, that people were trans, genderfluid etc. But 'she' was not that way.

Patton had tears rush to his eyes, teetering just on the edge before falling as he recalled the conversation. It was forever ago, but it still burned and stung like nothing else ever would. That they shouldn't be expected to call their child by a different name. That Patton would always be their 'little girl'. He wanted to just be called by a different name, cut his hair, and get a binder. He wasn't FtM trans. He was non-binary, still trying to fully figure out which term fit him but he wasn't sure which one did.

Genderfluid had fit for a while, but now he wasn't sure. Days he would feel fine! Totally fine going by she/her pronouns, getting called by his birth name. Other days, he didn't mind either way! But... Today was neither of those. Today was the day that he woke up uncomfortable. His chest was too big, every action he did seemed too feminine. The look of the pink dresses he would have adored when he was little, before he stopped to consider his gender at all, made him want to throw up.

His friends at school knew and were incredibly supportive. They called him by his preferred name, and pronouns. One even calling him handsome in order to help in some way. Which it did a little, the baggier clothes he was wearing helped as well, but he still wanted to breakdown, wanted to cry whenever someone said his birth name. It wasn't him. That wasn't his name. Someone else may like it, and that's totally valid, but he does not.

He glanced back over to the scissors. Instinctively reaching for them and picking them up. Why couldn't he just cut his hair? It was his!! He should have never tried to come out, he was going to be allowed to cut his hair until the reason why came into question as he had never mentioned it prior. His mom refused to let him cut it after that. It was too long for him to handle. It was down to the center of his back even when it was in a ponytail and a tangled rats nest.

He almost cut his hair then and there, his reflection in a mirror beside his bed making him open the scissors, but of course. He remembered the consequences. He swallowed harshly, "Just another year, you can last another year." He said putting the blades down where they had been originally. He unlocked his phone and decided to text his boyfriend, Roman, he always made him feel better. 'Can u come over?'

Roman took a little bit to respond. 'Idk, y?'

'Dysphoric.'

There were a few more minutes of no reply, before 'No, I can't sneak out, darling, and they won't let me go over unsupervised, I'm sorry.'

Patton only cried even harder. He just wanted to be hugged, held and told that one day he would be okay. That everything would be okay. He would be able to come over if Patton was a biological male. But no. Of course. He texted a small 'thx anyway' to Roman. He wasn't intending to be rude, he just couldn't focus too long on the keyboard as he typed. Tears were blurring his vision.

He tried to wipe them away but more came. He wiped them away, shut off his phone and the lights in the room and just curled up on his bed wrapped up in blankets. Hoping that he would be able to fall asleep and wake up the next morning feeling better. But of course not. He ended up staying up much later than normal for him, about three or four am, despite him having to wake up at six.

The next day went much the same...