" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Megumin: ... The Demon King's daughter... Does that mean the village's secret has finally been exposed ?

"Hold on. Is this the same kind of thing than with Sylvia ? Where you guys are actually t-bagging on them but put it like you're being slaughtered because of your chuuni antics ?"

Megumin: What is T-bagging ? But don't worry too much. Many Crimson demons know teleportation, we won't be dealt with so easily. Even if the whole village burns down, we can still magically repair it in a jiffy.

"I'm more worried about the demons than you guys, to be fair. And I wouldn't be surprised at all if the whole 'Boom, house gone' was actually Komekko firing off her first explosion, since apparently you all took a page of the same book in dealing with dangerous demons !"

Aqua: Restrain him !! He's letting loose !

Darkness: This is not Aqua in front of you, it's Komekko ! Contain the calamity !!

Kazuma: ... While I am quite worried for Megumin's parents, I'm mainly interested in the secret of Crimson Demons. Don't you have the tendency to collect... Uhm, "Evil goddesses that had been sealed away" and other dangerous things to your own village ? You also tend to have some sort of Doomsday device in store. So I was wondering if that's the reason the Demon King's daughter is attacking you.

Megumin: ... I understand. It seems necessary to tell Kazuma the truth now. Actually, one of the tourists attractions at the Crimson Demon village is a watchtower that can spy on the Demon king's castle.

Kazuma: ... Watchtower ?

Megumin: Indeed, there is a watchtower upgraded with powerful magic items on a mountaintop near the village. Although it hasn't reached the stage of "omniscience" yet...

"... ... ... ..."

Kazuma: ... You see that look in his eyes ? That's the "You guys fucked up so much I have no words to express that rage". So what's up with that tower ?

Funifura: Th- There's nothing up... Us Crimson demons can observe the Demon King's castle anytime. His daughter seems to have found out...

Kazuma: ... ... 'He'd never get so mad over simple spying...'

"Kazuma. Try remember what Megumin said when we visited the Crimson Village. She did talk about that watchtower, and what it's pointed at."

Kazuma: ... What ?

Dodonko: Well, the original selling point for that thing was that it "Could see into the Demon King's daughter's bedroom". But now that our victim knows about it... the demon Army's information warfare capabilities are not to be underestimated...

Kazuma: What did you just say... ?

Megumin: As they have said, the watchtower can not only generate revenue from tourism but also provide entertainment for NEETs in the village. A piece of equipment this valuable-

Kazuma: Would obviously be attacked by the Demon King's daughter ! Hey, i've always wanted to ask: Why is the demon king at war with humans ? To be brutally honest, aren't you Crimson Demons and the Axis cultists the main reason we're still fighting ?!

"Well, now at least you understand why I just popped a blood vessel."

Kazuma: Gah ! Your eye !

"That's the blood vessel in question. So, before I get an aneurysm on top of that, would you mind what else would the demon king want to dismember you for ?"

Megumin: Wh- What do you mean ? Why are we always to blame... ? We just have the Crimson Demon barbecue festival every four years...

Aqua: ... Barbecue ?

Funifura: All teleportation-capable Crimson demons would gather quadrennially and have a Barbecue near the Demon King's castle. After the feast, us Crimson demons then unleash a whole mess of magic upon the barrier, only returning after the Demon army comes charging out.

*POP*

Kazuma: ... Well, here goes the other eye. You guys are sincerely annoying. Can we stop with these troublesome activities already ?! ... Nevertheless, I understand the situation now. Thank you for bringing Komekko over, we'll keep her refuge, alright ?

"I don't see any issue. As utterly bonkers as you guys are, you still rank higher than the Axis cultists in my book."

Aqua: H- Hey ?!

"At the very least, you deal with the fallout of your actions, instead of bitching when asked to and leave it to others to clean up."

Funifura: ... M- Megumin, who's this one with the bloody eyes... ?

Megumin: Terrifying, right ?

"I am currently considering joining the Demon King to punt both the Axis cult and the Crimson Demon to the dark side of the moon, then catapulting the demon king then as well so you lot can enjoy some private time all together. Leave Komekko and get the hell out of here, please."

Funifura: W- Well, since the child doesn't really have another home, we sincerely thank you. We ourselves have duties to attend to...

Dodonko: Mhm, as the Crimson Demons, how could we refuse free meals delivered to our doorstep ?

Megumin: Daughter of the Demon King, show yourself ! I call dibs on the first strike with my Explosion ! Funifura, Dodonko, let's move !

Funifura: How could you even help ? Next, we're going to meet up with the other Crimson Demons and engage in guerilla warfare with the demon king's daughter, now that she's occupying our village. With only Explosion magic, you're at most a backup.

Megumin: Gh... !

Dodonko: Yes yes, we were recruited as soon as we learned advanced magic. Feel free to watch in jealousy as we put on a show.

Megumin: Blergh...

Funifura: Ah, speaking of which, Yunyun should be in this city too, right ? Do you know where she is ? She's also invited, although we haven't been able to find her.

Dodonko: Mhm, and I remember Yunyun describing in her letters what the friends she made here looked like. Even though we told her in advance we'd be coming today...

"... Yunyun made some friends ? Who could it be ?"

Kazuma: Probably that masked devil or something of the likes. Also why she doesn't want to meet up with her old "friends" now.

Funifura: L- Look, Megumin, we wanted to ask you something... Yunyun wrote in her letters that she had made a guy friend in Axel... She's really exaggerating and has no friends in reality, right ?

Dodonko: I- Is that true ? Yunyun possibly has more friends besides us ! Forget Megumin, please don't tell me that even Yunyun has more friends than we do...

Megumin: As for her male acquaintances, first we have Kazuma and the... Well, we have these two there.

"... I will gravely misuse my hand upside-down your face if you keep this up."

Megumin: ... There's also the chick-magnet Vanir down the street, and the notoriously blonde delinquent adventurer Dust... And also...

Funifura: Ha... Haha ! L- Look, she's already trying her best given her abilities ! Unlike the Crimson demon village, there's many people here ! So, having one or two weirdos befriend her is nothing unexpected !

Dodonko: E- Exactly ! By the way, Megumin, what's up with this guy here ? You talked a lot about him back in the village, but on a second thought, it didn't make much sense. No way Megumin can possibly be this lovey-dovey; Be honest with us, Megumin. The shared bathing, sleeping together and events of the sorts are all accidents, right ?

"I wish. If only these two could keep it down while we sleep..."

Funifura/Dodonko: ... ... Megumin ?!

Kazuma: Dude, you're not helping !

"I need a way to get back at something after the whole 'Darkness-has-my-baby' thing. Now you feel my... I don't know if it's pain..."

Megumin: Uhmm... How should I put this... er...

Funifura: You... hey, you gotta be joking, right ?! How could you possibly react so girlishly... !

Dodonko: N- No, I can't lose to even Megumin... How could I lose to that chronically airheaded Megumin who's the least likely to touch romance... !

Megumin: ... Please keep this secret from my parents.

Funifura/Dodonko: AAAHHHHH !! We'll never lose to you !!

"Fwaaaaaaaaah... Well, don't the two of you look like a lovely pair with all these necessities in hand. Guess taking care of a kid is quite the work."

Kazuma: ... And you look like a James Bond villain. How come that cat-

Megumin: Chomusuke.

Kazuma: That cat sticks to you even more than Megumin ?

"Well, given that the alternatives are either Aqua or Darkness, can you really blame the poor thing ?"

Megumin: ... So, I'll share my bed with Komekko. It's been a while, you must have felt lonely. Here, let me compensate you with some long-awaited bedtime companionship.

Komekko: Onee-chan must have been lonely without me...

Megumin: K- Komekko !

"And the explosion wizard just got roasted herself. Seriously, I keep forgetting that you're called demons, but when I see that little devil right there, I have great hopes for the future."

Komekko: Hehe... Looks tasty...

Megumin: Komekko, we have an abundance of food here, so please leave Emperor Zel and Chomusuke alone !

Komekko: ... You're right, we must wait 'till they grow fatter.

Chomusuke: Meow ?!

Megumin: No, that's not why, Komekko ! Those are our pets !

"Well, Chomusuke is. I'm still considering turning Zel into a chicken nugget one day."

Aqua: I heard that !! You heartless monster !!

"I wanted you to, you moneyless Goddess !"

Kazuma: ... Anyway, since we rarely gather like that, let's host a welcome party. Onii-san will bring you all sorts of delicacies !

Komekko: Onii-san is so handsome !

*Scribble scribble scribble*

Megumin: What are you writing ? ... "mm/dd/yyyy: Successfully seduced Onee-chan's boyfriend. I seem to have shifted his focus from Onee-chan to myself..." Komekko ! What do you mean by "seduce" and "boyfriend", who taught you these words ?!

Komekko: Buzucoily.

Megumin: That damn Hikikomori huh ?! The NEET really has zero redeeming factors !

Kazuma: ... Why do I feel attacked by that ?

"Try to figure. Is that some sort of diary, Komekko ?"

Komekko: Mom told me to use this to keep track of Onee-chan's relationship with her boyfriend.

"... Oh boy, things are going to get lively here..."

Komekko: Onee-chan, another one !

Megumin: Komeko, we always have enough food here, so you can stop stuffing yourself like there's no tomorrow.

"... ... Hm... hey, why is this rice tasting salty... ?"

Darkness: Hmm... B- because I've been crying buckets...

Aqua: Because she rarely has the chance to fill her stomach !

"... Well, it is quite a sad reality... And a thing to wonder about, actually..."

Megumin: That may be the case, but as her older sister, I'd feel ashamed. Here, have some pudding for dessert.

Komekko: *Nom* !

Aqua: ... Onee-san is full, you can have my pudding too, all right ?

Komekko: Is that really okay ? Isn't pudding a super precious snack we only eat on birthdays ? Don't you want it ?

Megumin: Komekko, we're the most famous adventuring party in the whole nation. No worries for money. Tomorrow I'll make you a whole tub of pudding. For today, just say thanks and eat all these.

Komekko: Thanks everyone !!

'... ... ... Note to self... Remember to send a metric ton of Pudding to the Crimson demons village...'

Darkness: What are you muttering about ?

"N- Nothing ! Just capitalist things !!"