" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"Ah, Vanir. Exactly who I was looking for. I hope you're not too busy at the moment, I have a few ideas to discuss with you."

Vanir: Ah, no need to tell, dear associate, the all-seeing moi has already foretold your intentions !

"... Well, can you blame me ? There aren't exactly a lot of things I can spend money on, might as well make it useful."

Vanir: Hm hm... So, what brings you here, dear associate ? I don't remember you visiting this orphanage often

"Oh, you know... Darkness being caught in a misunderstanding about her behavior, Aqua spreading baseless rumors, everyone else jumping to conclusions... The usual, really."

Vanir: Fuhahahaha ! Did you have a revelation after that lady scantily-dressed confessed her feelings-

Darkness: No more ! From either of you, no more ! There are... Huh ?

"... Okay, hold on... Why are all the children collapsed on the floor right now ?! What happened ?!"

Vanir: ... They're burning with fever...

Aqua: hey, you, what are you doing here ? I don't have time to deal with you right now, so I'll graciously let you live. Now scram ! There's a deserted alleyway in that direction, so go laugh to your heart's content over there ! As you can see, the children are in peril right now !

Vanir: Just what is going on ? The orphanage has been very peaceful up 'till now, so how did... Do you not feel at peace unless you bring trouble everywhere you go ?

Aqua: Don't make it sound like everything bad that happens is my fault ! These children just suddenly collapsed for no reason. You're a more likely suspect ! You didn't do something to these children, did you ?

Vanir: What are you saying, you bringer of misfortune ? As if the ever popular-with-children moi would ever do something like that ! The only people who would lay such a curse would be members of the most villainous Axis Cult such as yourself !

"... Kazuma, can we agree that after everything we went through, we're most likely to suspect Aqua than Vanir ?"

Kazuma: Sure can...

Aqua: What ?! H- Hey !!

Vanir: ... But this is really troublesome. To think that they would come down with Colorin disease...

"... Do you know what they contracted ? That makes things a bit easier. Sow what's that Colorin disease... ?"

Vanir: These cheeky scamps have all contracted Colorin disease... It's an extremely peculiar disease. It will remain dormant for a time after infecting someone, but once that period of dormancy is over, it will disperse a fast-acting toxin into its surroundings just like so. From what my all-seeing eyes tell me... That girl over there is the host.

Darkness: S- Sylphina...

"... Please tell me there is a way to cure them..."

Vanir: There are two, actually. First off, treating the children apart from the host is quite simple. A constant application of recovery magic and detoxification magic would see them healthy in no time. But... Detoxification magic would not work on the host. We can only prolong her life using recovery magic while we work on a special antidote.

Darkness: What's this antidote ?! How do you make it ?!

Vanir: There are five ingredients required to make it. The onion of an onion duck, the root of a Mandragora, tears of a ghost, and there... And the last ingredient is... This might be tricky to acquire, but it's the nails of a high-ranked devil-

Aqua: GOD BLOW !!

Vanir: What do you think you're doing during an emergency like this ?! Now the floor is all covered with dirt ! This is no time to fool around !

Aqua: yeah, I'm hitting you precisely because it's an emergency ! Ghost tears will be easy to get, we just need to go home and tell a few sob stories. Nevermind that, hurry up and hand over your nails !

"... Kazuma, Aqua just used her brain !! She must have been infected with something as well !!"

Vanir: Moi is only using a temporary body to inhabit this world. Other than my mask, the rest of my body is made out of clay.

Aqua: Right, how about we pay a visit to those girls in that shop ? "Excuse us, we need to pry one or two of your nails"...

"She did it again ! Aqua used her brain again ! Something's very wrong here !!"

Vanir: You fool. Moi said it needed to be the nail of a "high-ranked devil", didn't moi ? Those hatchlings wouldn't even register on the scale.

Megumin: That leaves us no choice. Very well, it's time to resort to the the demon summoning ritual that have been passed down through the Crimson Demon clan...

"Wh- When did you get here ? No, scratch that, that's a little... Vanir, do you not know of any other high-ranked devil that could be of help ? Not even with those all-seeing eyes of yours ?"

Vanir: Hmm... Well, moi does know of a high-ranking demon who lives close to this town...

Aqua: You can cast Create Water, so water isn't an issue, but have you brought enough food with you ? What about handkerchiefs and tissues ? Hey, Kazuma, do you know how to set up a tent ? I've heard that some people won't be able to sleep if they suddenly change pillows, so maybe it's best that you bring it along with you ?

Kazuma: What are you, my mother ?! You don't have to worry about us. We're veteran adventurers, you know ? Our levels are pretty high right now. Plus, it's not that harsh of a journey, so you don't have to worry so much. Oh, and I don't need a pillow

Aqua: I can't help it. I won't be going with you this time, so take care. If you get killed by a monster, I won't be able to resurrect you. Don't pick up and eat anything strange you find, okay ?

Darkness: Aqua, we traveled to both Elroad and Arcanletia, remember ? We're all accustomed to traveling, so relax.

Aqua: It's because a sheltered lady who knows little of the outside world like you is traveling alone with a shitty NEET and psychopath that I'm worried.

"At this point, I give so little care about that... Not even having the energy to work up a retort..."

Aqua: Oh, and Darkness, you need to be especially wary while traveling. Take care not to get assaulted.

Darkness: You don't have to worry about that. I'm a Crusader, taking attacks from monsters is my job, so don't worry. I'll keep them safe.

Aqua: What are you talking about ? I'm telling you to be wary of Kazuma so he doesn't assault you while you are traveling together. So just stay in Y/n's line of sight or something.

Kazuma: Hey.

Megumin: Yeah, you should take care not to be attacked.

"Not you too... really, we'll be fine. We're not going literally to hell..."

Kazuma: I don't think I've done anything that would make you suspect that I'd assault a girl... No, wait, I recall grabbing a girl's hand and some other stuff happening back in the Crimson Demon Village, but... No, sorry, it's nothing.

Megumin: No, what are you saying ? i'm telling you to be careful not to get attacked by Darkness because you will be together. So make sure she always stays in Y/n's line of sight, okay ?

Darkness: Megumin ! Don't make it sound like I'm some kind of pervert ! Just how little trust do you have in... No, nevermind.

"... You know this whole ordeal would be over in like, an hour, if you just let me do things my way, right ?"

Darkness: yes, but your way of doing things usually involves a lot of dead bodies, which does not bode here.

Kazuma: ... hey, what's this ?

Megumin: That's the portable toilet that Wiz was selling at a discount at her store. It's a convenient item when you are traveling, so keep it with you.

Kazuma: ... In that case, i'll gratefully accept it... No, wait. Say, Megumin, I know I've seen that thing before. If I recall, there's some kind of flaw in its operation...

Megumin: It seems like it has a function where it creates a loud noise to mask the sound when you're doing your business. So if either one of you are attacked, please use this to create a commotion and attract attention to yourself.

Darkness: ... hey, you don't need that ! I wouldn't think about doing those sort of things while the children are still suffering !

Megumin: Well, I leave the matter of the devil's nails in your hands. Aqua and I will do our best to hold down the fort until you return.

Aqua: I really wanted to meet him and forcibly peel off his nails, but I have to take care of the children, so I'll just have to bear with it. Hey, you better finish him off after getting the ingredients, you hear ?

Kazuma: Didn't you hear what Vanir said ? The guy we are dealing with might be a devil, but he's also a noble of this country, you know ?

"To think traveling around would be so smooth and relaxing so long as Aqua isn't around. Honestly, I wouldn't mind taking a few more trips like this."

Darkness: I don't think Aqua is deliberately trying to create problems when we travel. Though I do get how you feel having such a smooth journey... rather than that, just what are the "Samurai" tribe that you mentioned ? Can you please go into more detail ?

Kazuma: You sure are interested in Samurai, huh ? Well, it's just like I said. They wield wickedly sharp swords known as Katanas on the battlefield, and they'll split their bellies at the drop of the hat.

Darkness: Split their bellies ?

"Yep. They value their honor and pride as a warrior more than anything. So they'd rather kill themselves than live in shame after knowing defeat."

Darkness: Isn't that a little extreme ? If you have to split your belly when you surrender, doesn't that invalidate the purpose of surrendering in the first place ? What about the others ? I want to hear more about the ninjas you mentioned earlier !

"well, whether Samurais are warriors, through and through, Ninjas are the stuff of assassins. They work under the cover of the night, infiltrating, spying and assassinating... They have quite the skill with poison too."

Darkness: Attacking from the cover of Darkness, great at breaking into fortress and poisonous... they sound really scary...

Kazuma: Oh, and in manga and stuff, they can use lightning or Fire release or something and breathe fire and lightning in battle.

Darkness: What ? They are capable of using magic breath too ? ... What else can they do ?

Kazuma: the most famous skill they have would be the clone creation technique. They can create countless copies of themselves.

Darkness: They really do sound scary. I see, these ninja monsters are hermaphroditic... ?

"No, they... Forget that, it would be too long to explain. it's starting to get pretty late and dark, so let's camp for the night. Stop the carriage and... And let's try to not create any situation that would cause us to go at each other's throats within 10 minutes, alright ?"