" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: Just where did you run off to, Megumin ? I didn't think you hated the idea of seducing that guy so much that you'd rather camp out in the wilds. I wouldn't have forced you to go through with it, so don't go to such dangerous places anymore, okay ?

Megumin: That's not it. Just what kind of a barbarian do you think I am ? It's true that I left because I didn't want to seduce that man, but there's a proper reason for why I'm so covered in mud.

"... So, what kind of reckless things did you do ? Did you find a monster and chased it down too far ? Or did you run after the children after they made fun of your name again ?"

Megumin: Just who do you think I am ?! There isn't any child around here who would make fun of my name anymore. I made sure to teach all of them a lesson.

Darkness: H- Hey, the parents around town have been coming to me to complain about your actions, you know ? I have to apologize for you every time, so please keep that in mind and don't do that sort of thing anymore, okay ?

"That still doesn't answer the question. So, what happened ?"

Megumin: Well, I didn't really have any place to go after running away from home last night. I thought I'd be able to meet some adventurers I know, so I wandered around town for a bit... I came across Yunyun who was desperately trying to recruit others who would undertake that trial with her, so I lent her my aid once again.

"Yeah, I can already tell what happens next, you can stop right here."

Megumin: Listen to me. I have the ability to learn, you know ? Last time I undertook the trial, the first riddle was to troublesome, so I ended up blowing it up with magic; this time, in order to prevent myself from letting loose in a fit of rage, I entrusted my staff to Yunyun and was only there to be her follower.

Kazuma: Oh ?

Megumin: But, leaving Yunyun who failed the last trial aside, I'm now forbidden from being a partner after destroying the trial grounds the first time. So, after discussing it with Yunyun last night, we formulated a plan to sneak onto the trial under cover of night.

"Kazuma, I heard your hope flickering just now."

Kazuma: ... I bet you can hear it deflating then...

Megumin: After splitting up in the woods, we arrived at the newly constructed trial grounds without issue. This time, we properly tried to solve the riddle. After all, there's the number one genius of the Crimson Demons and the one who claims to be that genius' rival at the scene; problems involving intelligence like riddles should be a cinch with the both of us.

Kazuma: I can't help but get a bad feeling about this.

Megumin: Come to think of it, I don't think either of us have properly studied anything since graduating from school... The magic item refused to accept our answers no matter how many times we attempted it, so I got fed up and took my staff back from Yunyun... Perhaps because it was night when we attempted the trial, but the monsters started gathering after hearing the sound...

"... I already know the answer, but I'll ask just in case, you didn't get found out by the people in the village, did you ?"

Megumin: Who do you think I am ? As we were running away from the monsters, the people from the village started rushing over after hearing the sound of the Explosion ! Yunyun used Teleport to transport us to the village, so we managed to slip past them and made ourselves dinner while we waited for them to come back ! But I underestimated the magical knowledge of the Crimson Demons. They somehow knew that I was the culprit by the next day, and asked me to compensate for the magic item...

Kazuma: Well, of course ! Your Explosion is the most definitive evidence in the world ! What magical knowledge ! You are the only Crimson Demon who can use Explosion !

Megumin: Sorry, Kazuma. I'll make sure not to leave any traces behind next time.

"... ... What's that... The bill ?! Are you really trying to have me pay the bill for your sheer stupidity ?!"

Kazuma: I feel you're taking away the wrong lesson from this whole incident. You shouldn't be doing this in the first place !

Megumin: So, what exactly happened with you guys ?

Megumin: W- What should we do ?

"What else is there to do ? This is as much your fault as it is Aqua's. You did make the field together with her."

Megumin: Y- Yeah, but I didn't expect there to be monster seeds mixed in...

Aqua: ... Guys, I'll properly raise this girl. The reason why the other Tranquility Girls grew up to be bad apples is definitely because they were raised in a bad environment. If she is raised by a pure-hearted person who showers her with love, she'll definitely grow up to be a good kid.

"Hmm... ..."

Darkness: Enough. Aqua, Tranquility Girls are monsters. They are dangerous monsters that cause multiple deaths-

Kazuma: Oh, yeah, we can raise it ! Not bad, Aqua ! You're really smart today !

Aqua: What, did you think of a great idea ? I knew it, Kazuma-san always comes through at times like this ! Hurry up and tell me !

Kazuma: Right, listen up, Aqua. First, we'll raise this Tranquility Girl. Then, we'll plant more of them. Tranquility girls are monsters that convince travelers to rest by them before letting them wither away, right ? That means that they have low offensive power. Still, they are worth a lot of Experience points; So, if we have a field full of them, we'll be able to easily level up-

Aqua: I was a fool to even rely on you in the first place, you shitty NEET ! Just which pit did you dump your humanity in , Even i'm taken aback !

"Gonna admit, that was a bit heartless, even for you... Okay, you guys give me 5 minutes, i'm feeling an idea coming up..."

Kazuma: Hey, wait, isn't there a leveling method where strong Crimson Demons immobilize monsters so that weaker Crimson Demons can deal the finishing blow and level up that way ? I was a little taken aback when I heard about it, but isn't this the same thing ? You were the guys constantly pestering me to raise my level !

Megumin: The leveling method passed down through the Crimson Demons involves risking life and limb in order to immobilize strong monsters in the first place ! Don't compare it to this rule-breaking leveling up method !

Darkness: Y- yeah, this method may be effective, but this is just too inhumane...

*Ding*

Kazuma: Hm ? Oh, was that the idea ?

"I think yes... In this, the main problem isn't the Tranquility girl in itself, but having Aqua raise it, don't you think ?"

Kazuma: While that's very true, I don't really see where you're going...

Aqua: Hey !

"... I'll take care of her. Tranquility Girls might be monsters, but they also display sentience and intelligence at human level, even higher than most Crimson Demons and Goddesses."

Aqua/Megumin: Hey !!

"So, I want to see how far her instincts would go in a controlled environment where she has food in abundance, and if her mischievous and scummy behavior really is a natural process or something they come up with in order to get nutrients..."

Aqua: ... Well, as long as you don't eliminate her. Say, let's leave this matter aside for the moment. More importantly is that man who dumped Darkness in a wonderful manner last night.

Darkness: A- Aqua, can you please don't keep saying that I've been dumped...

Aqua: Now that Darkness, the one in charge of all things lewd has failed, the next assassin is Lolimin. If he can withstand both of their attempts, I'll have no choice but to acknowledge him.

Megumin: I've said it multiple times, but I definitely will not do that ! And don't call me Lolimin ! If you are willing to go that far, how about you stop standing on the sidelines and do it yourself ?!

Aqua: ... ... Yeah, that can work. If he can resist the charms of the beautiful and lovely Aqua-sama, then his feelings must be quite determined indeed. Very well, Darkness might have failed, but I'll have him dancing to my tune in no time !

Darkness: Say, it's a little thick-skinned of me to say this myself, but I don't think I'm worse than Aqua as a woman. Hey, Aqua, you just snickered, didn't you ? Hold it right there, just how low do you place me in your mind ?!

"So, this is the part where we don't even worry about her, and just enjoy the show, right ?"

Darkness: I still don't believe that Aqua has the ability to seduce a man. In the first place, she's the woman furthest away from any concept of romance.

"One can't overlook the fact Aqua is good-looking. The problems arise when she opens her mouth. Or does about anything..."

Megumin: Still, Aqua included, we've all been hit on when visited other cities. We have a bit of an unfair reputation in this town, so no one dares to approach us, but normal people will fall right for us beautiful girls... W- What ? Why do you look like you're holding back laughter ?

"Shh... Aqua's about to make contact with the target..."

Aqua: Hey, handsome-looking onii-chan drinking alone over there, you have the same air of loneliness as the shitty NEET at home. Can I have a moment of your time ?

Duke: Grmmbl... H- Huh ?

Aqua: Oh, were you surprised by how beautiful onee-chan is ? Fufu, how cute. The truth is, I have something very interesting to tell you. So, would you like to hear it ?

Duke: ... Oh, something interesting ? ... I see. Very well, i'll play along. Barkeep, give this woman a cold one.

Aqua: Oh, thanks. Usually the NEET I'm raising will treat me to a drink, but unfortunately he isn't present today.

"What the hell is happening over there... ? i'm actually getting a bit scared..."

Darkness: Y- You're lying... You're lying, right ? That man rejected me without even looking twice. Why would he treat Aqua to a drink... D- Do I really have less sex-appeal than Aqua ? Aqua always acts like an airhead and doesn't give off the appeal of a woman at all, but could it be that men like that kind of woman... ?

Megumin: C- calm down, Darkness ! He's just treating her to a drink right now ! Aqua gets treated to a drink pretty often, so this isn't anything unusual !

Duke: So, what is this interesting thing you wanted to tell me ?

Aqua: Fufu, you're a hasty one. Very well, I'll tell you. I heard this from my neighbor Sutton-san. If you stick your finger into the butt of a stray neroid, it'll let out a far louder nyaa than usual. You didn't know this, did you ?

"What even... Is she speaking some kind of code ? Or is this a foreign language ?"

Megumin: Ka- Kazuma, what are they saying ? He seems very interested in what Aqua has to say...

Darkness: hey, not only my sex-appeal, but is my skill at wordplay also lacking compared to Aqua ? It's not like I was really comparing myself to her, but this is still a little shocking...

Duke: My apologies, but I can only understand perhaps half of what you're saying to me, but you do not seem to be lying or attempting to trick me. I can't detect a shred of wickedness from you. Whenever humans spout a lie; no matter how small a lie it is, they will definitely let out an aura of wickedness. From that point alone, you appear to be exceptionally pure to me.

Aqua: Oh, why would I ever tell a lie ? Still, you have a pretty good eye. you're a fantastic judge of people, especially when it comes to women.

Duke: i'm quite confident in grasping people's true nature.

Aqua: Still, it's such a waste. You have such a good eye, but you choose to fall in love with a corpse. I've heard that you are in love with an undead.

Duke: What ?! Me, love an undead , How preposterous ! There's nothing I hate more in the world than undead and devils !

"... ... ... U- Uh ?"