" ": You talking

' ': you thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"Cemetery, huh ? No matter how you look at it, this is not the place you'd choose for a confession, isn't it ? That should let the pieces click in place for you."

Kazuma: Can't you at least tell me ? I hate that feeling that there's something off I'm not getting. Like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle, or a button that's been left undone.

"if you're at the point of realizing that, then you have all the pieces already. All that's left is to assemble them. And honestly, even I only have a very vague idea of what's going on. Vanir has the answers, and honestly, it pisses me off too."

Kazuma: ... Duke said this back then... "Now, that's enough talk ! Ice Witch, let's have a duel !" And afterwards, he said this.. "Why ? Isn't that obvious ? It's to demonstrate my power to you and have you give up your current job !"...

"Yep, that's how he proposed to her."

Kazuma: ... Wait, "proposed" ? Hold on a second... That doesn't sound like a proposal at all... Wiz got really frantic after that... if I recall... "Y- You want me to marry you..."... But he never said that... Wiz just assumed it was the case, but Duke definitely didn't say anything about that himself...

"Keep going, Kazuma. You're getting to the point I reached."

Kazuma: I meant, what happened next... "Leave your work to me ! Then, let's do this, you- !" And Wiz teleported at this very instant, so things were left unsettled. That feels off, right ?"

"Well, we'll see about that. I'm kinda curious to see if my intuition is right on that matter..."

Aqua: ... ... hey, Wiz, that Duke guy treated me to a drink yesterday.

Wiz: Eeh ?! W- What do you mean, Aqua-sama ?! Didn't everyone say that he's a sincere and honest man ?

Kazuma: This is just a proposal. It's a simple confession...

"Confession, yes... But the more I think about it, the less likely I'd be to call this a 'Proposal'..."

Aqua: Well, I thought to test if he really is a sincere person. He couldn't resist the invitation of the beautiful me, and we ended up drinking 'till morning. But don't worry, he didn't do anything that could be mistaken for sexual harassment, and I couldn't sense any of the wickedness that constantly hangs around these two.

Wiz: I- Is that so... But I've already decided on my answer, so you don't have to worry, Aqua-sama.

Kazuma: Not only that, but Vanir's attitude is worrisome... "When you respond to that man's feelings, a man will experience delight and merriment to a degree never seen before in this world". Normally you'd think that it means Duke and Wiz will achieve happiness together... But would that devil honestly give out advice that would result in people being happy ?

"Gonna be honest on this one, i'm just as lost as you are... Then again, Vanir seems to genuinely care about Wiz... But I really can't put my finger on *who* would that happiness apply to... Because if I'm right, then I'm gonna laugh my ass off, that's for sure."

Aqua: Oh , Well, it's only natural for any man to fall for my charms, but he did push the erotic darkness aside when she tried to seduce him. He can be said to be pretty sincere based off that.

Wiz: I- Is that so...

Darkness: Hey, Aqua ! Stop using me as a standard for erotic matters !

Megumin: ... Hey, what's wrong with you two ? You seem to be deep in thought ever since we left the shop... You didn't even react to what Aqua said about you...

"Huh ? What did she say ?!"

Kazuma: ... No, it's just, I have a really bad feeling for some reason... It'd be nice if it was just my imagination, but it feels like it wouldn't be surprising if this ends in a bloodbath...

Megumin: It'll be fine; I don't know how strong that Duke fellow is, but haven't we defeated all the opponents we faced ? Plus, we have the overwhelmingly powerful Lich, Wiz, with us today. And... No matter what kind of enemy we face, I'll blow them away with my Explosion. I'll protect you, so don't worry.

Kazuma: Y- Yeah...

"... Love really is a beautiful thing, isn't it ?"

Kazuma: S- Shut your trap !

Duke: ... ... Leaving the friend I made a few days ago and Satou Kazuma aside, there are quite a few people I recognize. There's the Lady of the Dustiness family... And isn't that the soulmate with whom I talked about shelled Mirumirus until sunrise with...

Kazuma: The hell's a Shelled Mirumiru ?

"i thought we agreed to not bring that up after none could understand, Kazuma. And soulmate, guess Duke does have a problem, after all..."

Duke: ... It's not really my place to say, but are you really fine with that dress ?

Wiz: I'm sorry to say that i'm not very well-educated in such matters, but this is my best outfit...

Duke: My apologies. I was sure that you were looking down on me.

Wiz: O- of course not ! You're the first person who made me dress up like this... Umm, I'm not too used to it, so, sorry...

Duke: I see. A skilled adventurer would usually be approached once or twice, but... It seems like you're too famous. After hearing the name of the Ice Witch, most adventurers would be too afraid to even approach you, nevermind offer a challenge...

Wiz: Y- Yes ! Yeah, that's exactly it ! Everyone was so afraid of me... Even though I wasn't like that at all...

Duke: O- Oh, I see... I don't really get it, but you have your own troubles as well, huh... Then shall we get started ? I'm sure there's no need for us to exchange any more words. Or do you intend to run like last time ?

Wiz: I won't run away. I intend to properly respond to your feelings today.

Wiz: I don't wish to quit my current job. I have no intention of relinquishing my post. After all... I made a promise with an irreplaceable, long-time friend of mine.

Duke: ... The one known as the Ice Witch, and leader of the strongest adventuring party. Even after becoming undead, you still continue to pursue the path of magic; My name is Duke, the one who will eventually climb to the peaks of sorcery, just as you once did. King of Undead, Lich ! I challenge you to a duel !

Duke: INFERNO !!

Wiz: FREEZE GUST !!

*SCHBROOOOOOOM*

"A steam explosion ! Take cover, everyone !"

Kazuma: Hey, Aqua, I'm really moved right now ! Yes, this is what fantasy is ! Vegetables flying around, catching mackerel in the fields, and monsters using erotic appeals to catch prey, those aren't fantasy at all ! This kind of magic is what Isekai really is !

"I'd argue we're more on a comedy-themed one, but the spectacle is always appreciated."

Megumin: Hold on, Kazuma, you're making it sound like Explosion isn't real magic; Compared to such dull spells, isn't Explosion, much more amazing ?

Kazuma: The kind of magical battle I want to see is not the kind where you just throw a single blow at the enemy regardless of its strength. There's no elegance in Explosion, there's no balance or strategy, it's just a massive gamble that hinges on if you hit the enemy or not.

Megumin: What ?!

Duke: Hmph. As expected of the ice Witch ! Crimson Laser !!

Wiz: Crystal Prison !! Duke-san, please wait ! Please, let's talk things out !

Megumin: ... Oh Darkness darker than black- *BUNK* !!

Kazuma: What are you trying to do ?! Why can't you just behave yourself during such an important moment ?!

Megumin: You were the one who showed more interest in such amateurish spells than my Explosion, Kazuma ! I feel a really strong ache in my heart when I see your eyes sparkle while looking at another mage's spells ! It didn't hurt this much even when you were about to fall far darkness' seduction !

"So your love for Explosion trumps over your love for Kazuma... I don't whether to be proud or disappointed..."

Kazuma: just what is wrong with your sense of jealousy ?! This is a duel between the two of them, so don't interfere and just watch !

"You say the two of them... But so far, only one is really attacking..."

Duke: Why aren't you seriously attacking me ?! Are you looking down on me ?! Lava Swamp !!

Wiz: Freeze ! Fire resist ! Ouch ! ... I have no desire to defeat you nor do I have any desire to give up my current job ! Liches have high magic resistances ! I'll withstand any attacks you dish out and make you give up !

Darkness: ... ... Say, as a Crusader, would it be better if I were to stop their duel ? Wiz doesn't seem very keen on this duel, so should I...

"You just want to take their advanced spells straight to the face, so stay right the hell here, you."

Kazuma: Wiz ! You should hurry up and get serious ! It'd be rude to Duke otherwise !

"And you stop treating this as a firework show !"

Wiz: E- Even if you say that, there's no way I can seriously attack a man who is so passionate about me...

Duke: ... You really are looking down on me ! Very well, perhaps I should make you treat this seriously ! How's this ? Sanctuary !!

Wiz: Eeh ? AAAAHHHHH !

"High-grade Holy Magic ?! Hold on, I didn't know Archwizards could even use Holy magic !"

Aqua: They can't ! The only ones who can use Holy Magic are priests, Archpriests and Crusaders. But wasn't he using Advanced magic earlier ? How could he use Holy Magic too ?

Wiz: Uugh... ! Duke-san, please remember ! Think back to the first day we met ! You suddenly threw away your robe and approached me like you were trying to show me your naked body...

Duke: Don't put it that way ! There are other people watching, so I can't remove it now, but there is a reason for that !

Wiz: Duke-san... "There's nothing in my mind except you. I've trained my body for so long just for you !" you said this on our next meeting, didn't you ? And you also said "I know everything about you ! You could say that I am the man who understands you best in this world"... ! Even if it's a little different from what I expected, but that's still the first time anyone has said that to me... !

"... Somehow, that explains so much about this whole situation..."

Kazuma: Huh ?

Duke: Just what are you saying ?! Nevermind that, hurry up and get serious ! Even if it's you, you'll still end up getting purified if this goes on !

Wiz: To be honest, it made me a little happy to hear those words. But no matter what you say, I have no intention of giving up my current job; Plus, I still don't know you too well. So... Can we start by being friends ?

Duke: ... ... ...

Aqua: Yeah ! Well said, Wiz ! Yeah, getting married so quickly would be too hasty, right ?!

Duke: ... ... Huh ?

Darkness: Well, this is probably the best outcome... You're Duke, right ? What happened the other day was, er, me seducing you as a test, so don't think I'm an easy woman. But it's great that you aren't rejected outright.

Duke: ... ... Huh ?!

Megumin: I think that Wiz is a determined person; But, Duke, was it ? There seems to be some misunderstanding, but don't worry, Wiz is no longer in charge of exorcism jobs from the real estate agent or purifying the ghosts in this cemetery, so you don't need to worry about her.

Duke: ... ... H- HUH ?! What are you guys saying ? What's that about friends and marriage and don't worry and what not ? I really don't follow at all !

Aqua: What are you saying ? This is what Wiz is saying: "Giving up my work or suddenly marrying is impossible, but let's start by being friends and see how things go from there". isn't that great , yeah, you did get rejected, but there's still hope.

Duke: W- What are you idiots saying ?! Why must I be married to an undead Lich ?! Where did that even come from ,! And friends , What kind of joke is that ?!

Wiz: Eh ?!

Aqua: Hey, there's no need to act like that just because you've been rejected ! You were rushing things too much ! It's obviously too much to marry her right away ! Just be happy that you can start as friends !

Duke: Like I said, why do all of you think I'm in love with this woman ,! is there something wrong with your brains ?! This is only the third time I've met her, you know ?!

Megumin: You have the gall to say that after you stalked Wiz ?! And weren't you the one who proposed that she quit working at the magic item shop and come live with you ?!

Duke: Huh ?!

"... ... ... Okay, so my suspicions pretty much confirmed themselves with that... So, um, Duke, do you want the explanation... ?"

Duke: ... Please yes... I'm at a loss for words...

"Well, uh... The thing is, Wiz is so uneducated on the matter of love, given that no one ever tried hitting on her, that... When you first met and challenged her, she took it as a confession of love. So, there's that."

Duke: ... What ?

"And so everyone was convinced you wanted her to marry you, and to take over her job as a shopkeeper, completely overlooking her other job."

Kazuma: ... ... Other job ?

Duke: ... The job I want her to quit is her position as a General of the Demon King's army...