" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Megumin: ... Huh ?

Duke: like I said, the job I was referring to is her position as a Demon King's General. It has nothing to do with the magic item shop...

"... Maybe it's time to show them, then ? What Wiz mistook for some random exhibitionism."

Wiz: Aah ! T- That crest... That's the Demon King's...

Aqua: aah ! Hold on, you were a fallen angel N?! Here I thought you were a rare good person who hated devils and undead like me, but you're just another fool who defied the word of the Gods !

Duke: S- Shut up ! And what about you ?! I thought you were a great friend who shared my hatred of undead and devils, and even cheerfully spread bad rumors about Goddess Eris with me until morning, but what's with your clothes ?! You were a priest ?!

Aqua: You really are an idiot; Who do you think I am , A mere fallen angel should hurry up and kneel before me ! My name is Aqua ! The one worshiped by 20 Million Axis cultists all over the world ! Yes, Goddess Aqua herself !

Duke: ... Is she... ?

"Don't pay attention to her, she's an overzealous dumbass who's ego rivals the gods."

Duke: Great, so she's just insane...

Aqua: hey, hold it right there ! So that's why you could use Holy Magic ! How could you do that ?! You fell after going against the word of the gods, but you still dare to call upon their powers the moment you get into a pinch ? Do you have no shame ?!

Duke: S- Shut up ! We angels get run ragged by the Gods ! It's only fair that we get a little power as payment ! If anything, I'm just collecting a little but of late payment for my services ! You probably don't know this, but the Goddesses are all-

Vanir: FU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !! Welcome to this remote town, one who dreams of becoming a Demon King's General. You were originally a servant of the hateful Gods in the first place, but it seems like you just got more pathetic after falling !

"... Well, that explains a lot of stuff... Hey Vanir, when saying a Man will be overjoyed, please remember you're genderless ! That was very confusing !"

Vanir: Sorry, sorry, dear associate. Seems like I made it in time for the best part ! Oh, to think I almost missed such an amazing event !

Duke: ... Vanir-dono, this is between me and Wiz. You may be a former General of the Demon King, but please do not interfere.

"Oh, if he wanted to interfere, pretty sure he's would've sent a death ray your way already..."

Wiz: ... So you deceived me... ?

Duke: What do you mean deceived ? It has always been my intention to challenge you for the position of the Demon King's General. I tried to remove my robe when we first met, didn't I ?! That was so I could show you this crest and explain things to you.

Wiz: ... I- I thought it was a proposal... This was the first time someone confessed to me...

Duke: I- Is that so ? that's most unfortunate. Even so, this is still way too huge of a misunderstanding. This is but the third time we've met, there's no way I could propose so soon !

Wiz: I- I, I've been spending day and night seriously considering if I should really give up running the store... But I thought it'd be too pitiful for Vanir-san, so I came here to turn you down... is it really that fun to toy with the heart of a Lich ?! I won't forgive you ! This is the first time I've been so thoroughly humiliated ! It was more humiliating than when I clashed with Vanir-san back when I was still a human ! I even thought it was a proposal ! I can't believe you...

Vanir: Fuhahahaha~ ! Fuhahahaha~ ! Fuhahahahahaha~ !!

"Well, at least someone's having fun..."

Wiz: Vanir-san ! Just what is so funny ?! You didn't foresee this, did you ?! ... Ah ! "The devil that sees through all so declares ! When you respond to that man's feelings, a man will experience delight and merriment to a degree never before seen in this world", you weren't referring to this when you said that, were you ?! That man that will experience delight and merriment, that was referring to yourself after you've tasted my dark emotions !

Vanir: Fuhahaha~ ! Fuhahaha~ ! This is superb ! These are dark emotions of the highest grade that Moi has not tasted in some time ! they're delicious ! They are delicious indeed ! Fuhaha~ !

Wiz: Vanir-san !!

Duke: W- Well, I apologize for that ! But I have my complaints too ! If you didn't live in this town, I wouldn't have to hide my crest, and this misunderstanding wouldn't happen in the first place. Yes, it's because you ignored your duties as a general to live in this town ! I just couldn't leave things in the hands of such a klutz !

Wiz: I'm not a Demon King's general because I want to be ! i'm only doing this because there's no one else that's magically skilled enough to maintain the barrier and the Demon King begged me to do it ! How could you call me a klutz... !

Duke: You are a klutz ! The number of Generals have been reduced to the point where even the barrier itself is at risk ! Furthermore, our fortresses at the frontline have fallen, and even that scheme that has been in the works for a long time in the shadows has fallen through.

"... ... Now hold on, that's something interesting..."

Kazuma: Huh ?

Duke: After some investigation, I found that all of those incidents have something to do with that weak-looking man over there. I let my guard down thinking that he's a weakling that would lose to a kobold, and this is how things ended up... Yes, you, Satou Kazuma ! "I'm willing to support you", you said this when we met in the bar, didn't you ? You said that to make me let my guard down, and now you've even brought Vanir-Dono over to surround me. Kukuku, you're a pretty good schemer, aren't you ?

"I'd rather say his massive luck sure does work in mysterious ways..."

Kazuma: Well, it's not like that's a bad misunderstanding... But why do they always come after me specifically ?

"Maybe you should stop bragging about your accomplishments constantly... Kinda painting a target all over your back."

Duke: I've already sent a report about this to Demon King-sama. This town will eventually become a priority target for the Demon King's army !

Kazuma: Are you serious ?!

"Oh shit, not good... is this a declaration of wa-"

*SCHBROOOOOOOOOM*

Duke: GUARG !!

Wiz: ... This town will become a priority target ? ... Are you going to attack this town ?

Darkness: H- hey, isn't this getting a little dangerous ? I really don't think I have the luxury ti enjoy this kind of play right now, so can you please let me go ?

"I get what you're trying to say... Getting Hans flashbacks here..."

Duke: S- So you finally got serious. Still as expected to a lich. To be able to cast such a powerful spell without chanting... Your age really isn't for sho-

*SCHBROOOOOOOOOM*

"... Taunting her about her age while she's already furious ? That's asking for a death wish. Guess both his intelligence and luck stats are quite low."

Megumin: Kazuma, things are getting a little suspicious. Being tightly held down like this by someone I like isn't too bad, but i'm not Darkness, so can you please let go of me ? I want to make preparations so I can cast my magic at any time.

Kazuma: if I let you free, you'll just ignore the mood and steal her kill, right ? Don't worry, now that Wiz has snapped, we can leave it to her. Just watch.

Vanir: brat, it's best that you don't take your eyes off this. The devil that sees through all so declares, thou shalt see a most amazing sight.

Duke: Uugh ! I- Infer-

Wiz: Cursed Crystal prison !! ... ... ... Do you surrender ?

Duke: ... ... ... ...

Aqua: Way to go, Wiz ! This really is a fitting revenge for dumping you !

Wiz: Wait, Aqua-sama, I didn't do this for revenge !

Kazuma: ... Hey, Vanir, why didn't you tell us that Wiz had a misunderstanding ? We would be able to finish this with a battle without having to go through such an ordeal if youtold us.

Darkness: Yeah ! Hey, Vanir ! I had to seduce that man because of you, you bastard !

Vanir: Fuhahaha~ ! What does Moi care about that ? in order to taste the most exquisite dark emotions, Moi is willing to do anything. Yes, this brat who's getting full of himself because he got some attention. If, for instance, you were to get disgusted and dump him, Moi will be able to experience some delicious dark emotions indeed.

"Cool. And now that he said that, could you guys please reconsider my own sadistic tendencies ?"

Kazuma: C- Cut it out. No, seriously, please stop... I'll go take some useless goods off your hands in the near future...

Vanir: ... By the way, things aren't over just yet.

"... Hmm ? Hey, what is he doing ?"

Duke: ... ... ...*SHUNK*

Vanir: he actually did it ! Look, brat ! That man pretended to surrender, only to use that chance to perform one of the taboos of sorcery ! Yes, that's the ritual to become a Lich ! Fuhahaha~ ! He willingly turned himself into an undead that he was bashing just a short while ago in order to attain power ! Fuhaha~ ! This is way too amusing !

Kazuma: What's so funny about this situation ?!

"... ... ... ..."

Duke: You let your guard down, Wiz ! Gurk... Behold this overflowing Mana of mine... Ah, power is just overflowing from the wound I made with my dagger ! I can feel the cells in my body slowly dying off and turning into an undead existence ! I might have fallen, but I was originally an Angel. I didn't want to do this if I could avoid it, but I have no choice... Now, let' have an eternal battle as fellow immortals-

"Retribution."

*F-TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Duke: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !! W- W- W- What is this... ?! It burns !! I should have become the strongest undead, a Lich ! What on Earth... !

Aqua: H- hey ! How dare you imitate the light descending from the Heavens to punish the sinners !!

"I couldn't care less about him being an angel, devil, undead or pile of slime. You declare war on this town, I'll wipe you off the face of the planet."

Wiz: ... You undead up like this because you got involved with me... At the very least, I'll give you a painless death... Drain Touch...

Duke: Wait, stop ! No, don't ! Wait ! This is a misunderstanding ! It's all a big misunderstanding !

Wiz: Misunderstanding ? After turning into a Lich, what's there to misunderstand ?

Duke: That's the misunderstanding ! T- The reason I became a lich is... yes, it's not because I wanted to take revenge on you, but so I can be together with you for eternity as a fellow unaging undead !

Wiz: Th- That's... Y- You can't fool me ! Such flowery words won't...

"They do seem pretty effective from where I'm standing..."

Duke: I- I'm not deceiving you ! I fell in love with you during our battle ! Of course, I won't suddenly propose that we get married off the bat, but... Just as you said earlier, I would like to request that we start by being friends !

Wiz: S- Start by being friends...

Vanir: Kind and gullible shopkeeper, allow Moi to tell you something. Fallen angels and the angelic race are similar to devils in that they have no gender.

Duke: W- Wait- !

Wiz: EXPLOSION !!