" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Wiz: Ah, Kazuma-san, Y/n-san, Aqua-sama, Welcome. You came in at just the right time. I just got my hands on an interesting item... Why is Aqua-sama stuck in a cage ?

"She's in timeout jail. What did you buy this time ?"

Wiz: i'm glad you asked !

Kazuma: ... A teru teru bozu ?

Wiz: What's a teru teru bozu ? This is a powerful magic item that can control the weather. Simply hang it at the front of your house and they will forcibly clear up the weather ! Normally, controlling the weather requires a long ritual and the use of many rare components, but that can be done with just this item ! What do you think ? Isn't it amazing !? It's amazing, isn't it ?

"Yeah, and it sounds way too good with your history of buying... Oddities when you're not being monitored. Okay, what are the side effects ? Does it causes no rain to fall for years ? Or drains your entire mana for it to work ?"

Wiz: There aren't any side effects. I've learned after getting lectured by Vanir-san so many times ! To use it, all a person needs to do is pour a reasonable amount of mana into it and hang it by the eaves of your house. And it can only be used during a specific season, so there aren't any downsides at all ! What do you think? Isn't it an amazing item ?

Vanir: And what exactly is the season that you can use these things ?

Wiz: It's right now ! It can only be used during this season ! i'm not foolish enough to buy something that couldn't be used; You really are a worrywart, Vanir-san.

Vanir: ... dear associate, do come here for a moment.

"i'm not buying it. From the very beginning, something that Wiz randomly bought isn't something I'd buy, but your insistence is only reinforcing this feeling."

Vanir: Don't say that. Moi can definitely feel some strong magic coming from this piece of- this wonderful product. It's capabilities are definitely the real deal.

"You almost called it a piece of crap. And about that, I can't really recall the last time it rained. Does it even rain around this season here ?"

Vanir: ... There was a day when it rained around this season twenty years ago.

"Exactly. Throw that away quickly."

Vanir: Don't say that. This word is very large. There might be a place in the world that's troubled by extreme rains around this season; if you bring it into such a region, it shall definitely be treated as a prized treasure. If you buy it, Moi will even throw in the forbidden potion set: number two as a gift

"So use it as some sort of tourist attraction, heh... There isn't a lot of visitors in here, I hope you understand."

Vanir: On top of that, Moi shall throw in a pre-release product that Moi has been developing in secret, the life-size body pillow of the erotic shopkeeper.

"I'll buy the rain trinket it just so you never show that to Kazuma ever."

Wiz: Um... is something the matter, Aqua-sama ?

Aqua: ... Come to think of it, it's been over a year since we met, hasn't it ? How ironic... I'm a Goddess and you're a lich. Normally, the two of us could never have such a cordial relationship.

Wiz: Has it already been that long ? ... Ah, I bought some cookies along with that magic item. Would you like some, Aqua-sama ?

Aqua: I'll have some... no, that's not ti. Say, Wiz, we've become way too close to each other. Normally, it would only be natural for me to purify you the moment we met. Yes, a God and an undead. Those are two entities that should never get along this cordially... !

Vanir: There's a really dangerous aura around you for some reason, Goddess of Violence. Moi doesn't know what happened, but if you intend to go wild here, Moi will be forced to bill you a tremendous amount for the damages. If you're prepared for that, then feel free to go ahead.

Aqua: Wiz... Please understand ! We can't protect this world without defeating you ! It pains me to hurt a friend, but, please, Wiz, I want to return to heaven ! I'll make it quick, so please go back to the earth !

Wiz: ... If I return to the Earth, will Aqua-sama be able to go back to Heaven ?

Aqua: yes, exactly ! It's a pity, Wiz, but there are reasons why I can't let you off ! I don't mind if you hold a grudge against me, but, as a Goddess-

Wiz: Very well.

Aqua: As a Goddess... ! ... It's fine ? No, wait, Wiz, you can't give up on life so easily ! What do you think your life is ? You'll get punished, you know ?

Wiz: If you purify me, you'll be able to go back to heaven, yes ? I don't understand the details, but something must have cropped up, right ? After spending so much time together, I know very well that Aqua-sama is a benevolent and kind person... If that Aqua-sama wants to purify me, I'll go along with it.

Vanir: What are you saying, Wiz ? Have you forgotten the promise you made with me !? You really are gutsy if you think you can break a contract with a devil ! If you go back into the earth, who will create my dungeon for me !? Everything I've done for this shop is in service of that goal !

Wiz: Vanir-san, you actually called me by my name; i'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise... Um, he's asleep ina mansion deep in the forest now, but I do know another lich. I'll introduce you to him, so please make do... Normally, it would've been natural for you to purify me the moment we met. Thank you for letting me off until now, Aqua-sama. Thanks to that, I was able to manage this shop together with Vanir-san and get to know a lot of other people. I've lived a long time, but this past year has been the most enjoyable year of my life. That's no exaggeration. So nevermind holding a grudge, I should be grateful to you.

Aqua: ... ... ...

Wiz: I originally set up this shop to be a place where my old adventuring companions could come back to. But, just the other day... Yeah, it was back when Vanir and I were talking about our past and Aqua-sama fell asleep. I managed to tell my companions, 'Welcome home', when they came to visit on that day... So I have no regrets.

Aqua: U... Uuuu...

Wiz: Aqua-sama, I will have to be purified by someone someday, or I'll be around forever. If I have to be purified by someone, I would choose to be purified by Aqua-sama. It'd help you, after all. Plus... I enjoyed being your friend, Aqua-sama.

Aqua: U... Uuu... Waaaaahhh !!

"Well... At the very least, we know that Aqua isn't completely heartless now. Seriously, who would've expected the kindest person in this town would be a lich..."

Kazuma: Yeah... Hey, did Aqua come back home yet ?

Megumin: Aqua ? She came rushing back in not too long ago and shut herself in her room. I told her dinner's ready, but she didn't come out at all. Just what happened ?

"... I think it's better if you go talk to her. If I go, i'll just end up putting her down even more. i'm still kinda pissed for what she tried to pull there."

Kazuma: yeah... just give me Aqua's portion of dinner; i'll bring it up to her.

Kazuma: Hey, I understand how you feel, but don't just go home without us. Megumin made dinner, so open up.

Aqua: ... Leave me alone. I just lost a little bit of my confidence as a Goddess right now.

Kazuma: Say... isn't it fine to put the Demon King out of your head for a while ? Is there really a need to rush back to heaven right now ? You know that you won't be able to see Wiz again if you go back to Heaven, right ? I brought the dinner Megumin made up with me. If you don't want it, I'll take it down.

Aqua: ... Just leave the food here.

Megumin: What's wrong with Aqua ? She's usually the first one at the table. Does her stomach hurt ?

"I don't think her stomach is the problem here..."

Kazuma: Don't worry. She seems like she's willing to eat the food I brought up. Give her some time. She'll definitely come back down once she gets hungry again.

Darkness: Hey ! Wake up ! Wake up already !

"Hmm ? Oh, what's going on so suddenly ? You're always the one I need to shake awake... Did something happen ? You didn't come up with another weird roleplay idea again, did you ?"

Megumin: ... ... ... What are the two of you doing when we aren't looking ?!

"... I'm growing more and more confused, what's going on ? I thought Kazuma had a heartfelt moment with Aqua last night, so why are you looking so down so early ?"

Megumin: It's already noon ! More importantly, this is really serious ! Please read this !

*Dear everyone,

The light breeze heralds the refreshing breeze of autumn. How is everyone doing ?

Darkness, don't go overboard with that game you play where you repeatedly stub your toe against the dresser.

Megumin, if you don't reign in how often you use your Explosion, I'm certain your actions will eventually be counted as one of the factors contributing to the greenhouse effect.

Y/n, I would truly appreciate if you could stop testing your weapons by specifically firing them off in areas where Axis cultists are known to be.

Kazuma, I know that you're a young man with a healthy libido, but please stop laying out everyone's laundry on the floor and rolling through them.*

Kazuma: ... Why didn't I read to this part ?!

Megumin: Ah ! I understand how you feel, but please let us read it all the way to the end !

*Now then, the Demon King is currently spreading chaos and destruction throughout the world. Do you think that the beautiful and lovely Goddess that I am could simply stand by and let the Demon King do as he wishes ?
No, I cannot do that. For the sake of my beloved Axis Cultists spread throughout the world. To answer the wishes of the ten Billion people who believe in me. I'm heading out on a journey to become a legend...*

"... ... I give her three days before she falls into despair on her own."

Kazuma: Are there really ten billion Axis cultists in this world ?

Darkness: There'd probably be about a few hundreds at best.

*Thus, in order to turn this lofty ideal into reality... I'll be going out for a bit to take down the demon King.*

"... Correction, I give her 24 hours. Worst thing is, she's way too prideful to just come back and ask for help after writing something like that. And it's probably already been something like 6 hours since she left..."

Kazuma: That idiot !

"What is she even planning on doing on her own... ?"

Darkness: Aqua has been saving up the allowance you've been giving her. She should've saved up quite a sum by now, so she might be trying to hire a few skilled adventurers right now... What's that in the corner ?

"... ... 'PS: Please come after me'.... Well, guess I was wrong, it took her 10 minutes to regret her decision."

Kazuma: ... ... That idiot !!