" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Kazuma: Ah, I'm tired. But man, a warm room and a soft bed... Letting us live in such a nice mansion is something I'm really grateful for. With this, it looks like we'll be able to get through the winter. We can just leave the exorcism to Aqua... They might just unexpectedly leave simply because Aqua is living here...

Aqua: AHHH ?! WAHHHHH !!

Kazuma: Gh ?! Aqua, what happened ?! Are you okay ?!

*SLAM*

Aqua: Boo... Wooo... G- Gazumaaaaaahh !!

Kazuma: ... Why are you cradling an empty sake bottle ? Did you made that scream because you're drunk ? Need me to wake you up with Create Water ?

Aqua: that's not it ! I didn't drink it ! This was my precious and valuable sake ! I was looking forward to enjoying it after my bath ! But it was empty when I returned to my room ! Aaahh !!

Kazuma: ... ... I see. Good night, see you tomorrow.

Aqua: Wait, Kazuma ! A spirit ! This must be the work of an evil spirit ! The wild spirits that congregated here, or the illegitimate child that was bound to this mansion ! It must be either of these two ! I'll make my rounds around the mansion and destroy all the spirits I see !

"Okay, can you two keep it down to a mild roar ?"

Darkness: What's with the ruckus ?

Kazuma: This girl said her sake was taken by evil spirits and wants to exorcise them now. I though about saying, "Why would spirits want to drink sake", but there was too many things to pick apart, so I didn't manage to. I think I'll sleep now, so I'll leave the rest to you.

"I hope you realize all the implications, Kazuma. In any case, I'm going back to Morpheus' realm, so just call if you ever need more... Firepower... *Yawn*..."

"*Snore* ... ... Hah... ? 'Oh, I was asleep... Wait, it's still the middle of the night... Why did I suddenly wake up...'

"... ... ... Okay, so if you can just excuse me..."

*Creeaaaaaaak*

'Okay, so now I'm out of the room... the hallway's looking clear... Guess it's time.'

"Hr- Hm... SPIRIIIIIIIIIIITS !! THERE'S SPIRITS HERE !! I FOUND THE SPIRIT !!"

Darkness: Wh- What ?!

*BANG*

"GAH- !! Ghhhhhhh... Ahhhhhhhh... Owwwwww..."

Darkness: A- Ah ! i'm sorry ! Are you okay ?!

"Please don't touch the bump... I suppose I was kinda asking for a door to the face, running through the hallway without looking... But nevermind that, I found the spirit !"

Darkness: I heard so...

"We need to find Aqua so she can purify it ! But, come to think of it... Why are you here in the middle of the night ?"

Darkness: ... ... ...

"... Don't tell me, you're looking for the spirit so it can molest you, are you ?"

Darkness: Hmm~ !

"Of course you are. And don't you dare trying to sneak past me to get to my room. Besides, I don't even know if the spirit's still there, if it followed me, or even if it's the only one. You wouldn't happened to see a little doll carrying a bottle around, do you ?"

Darkness: I didn't... But...

"... Let me guess... Right behind me, is it ?"

Darkness: D- Don't worry ! I'll hold the spirit back ! You go and find the rest-

"Oh no you don't ! If we're going down here, we're going down together ! Now let's go and find the rest !"

Kazuma: NUAAAAAH !! AQUAAA !! WHERE'S AQUA ?! AQUA !!

Megumin: KYAAAAA !!

Kazuma: UWAAAH ?! What... Megumin ?! D- Don't scare me like that ! This is Aqua's room, right ? Where's she ?!

Megumin: That's my line ! I- I too came to Aqua for help, but the room was empty... And... I was scared, so I couldn't leave the room...

Kazuma: Which means... Megumin, you too ?

Megumin: yes... I was chased by a doll carrying a sake bottle...

Kazuma: AAAH, GEEZ !! Why isn't Aqua there at crucial times !!

Megumin: Kazuma, if Aqua is no good, then let's rely on Darkness and Y/n ! It may not be as much as a priest, but a crusader can use some holy power ! And with both holy and firepower, these spirits...

Kazuma: No... Darkness, she... Might actually be enjoying this situation... She will be useless.

Darkness: Uwaaah~ Stop~ Let me go... But, being put to such shame by something like dolls is actually...

Megumin: Ah, indeed... What about ?

Kazuma: The fact we aren't hearing any laser beams can only mean two things. Either he doesn't know what's happening, or he's been done in already. Either way...

Megumin: We're in trouble. Um... the truth is... I have been wanting to go to the bathroom for a while...

Kazuma: Eh ? Seriously ?! Boy, what a coincidence, that goes for me too. But, there comes the sad difference between males and females. Sorry, but could you face the door for a sec ? I'm gonna use the balcony to relieve myself.

Megumin: Ah ! What are you doing, trying to become happy on your own !! Aren't we comrades ?! Wherever we go, we go together !

Kazuma: Stop that ! Why are you picking this moment to talk about being comrades ! And besides, didn't you say that Crimson demons don't need to use the bathroom ?! Just use that bottle over there !

Megumin: You just blurted something outrageous ! What are you trying to make me do ?!

"I just felt a disturbance..."

Darkness: S- Sorry...

"I'm not talking about you. Why does this manor have to be so soundproof ? We can't even hear if the others re in trouble..."

Darkness: Or maybe this is the spirits' doing ? They may be aiming to separate us so they can have their way with us, doing outrageous things to my chaste body, breaking me in-

"I've heard enough, I'm extremely dissatisfied. Look, if we can't find Aqua, we should find an empty room and lock ourselves in. These ghosts seem to have taken on a physical form, so I doubt they can phase through walls or stuff."

*Creeeaaaaaak*

"... ... ... Okay then."

*Creeaaaaaaak*

"New plan, Darkness. We run and scream like lunatics until we stumble onto the others. How does that sound ? ... Darkness... ?"

https://youtu.be/fdLu9TeMcbY

Darkness: T- Together in a locked room, in the middle of the night...

"Hehehe... Now that we're alone... Your lascivious body's all mine !"

Darkness: K- Kyaaah~ ! N- No, please !

"Resistance is futile, my telekinesis will hold you in whatever position I want ! Or maybe I should put my summoned bones to another use, hmm ?"

Darkness: Aahh, to be used like that... So shameful... But as a companion, I have no choice but to oblige... I'll never give in to your wickedness, though !

"Keep that tough facade all you want ! We have a long night ahead of us~..."

Darkness: Haaa... Haaa... Haaa... Haaa...

"Who do you take me for, Kazuma ?! I've got more urgent things to worry about right now ! The others might be in danger as we speak !!"

*Step... Step... Step...*

"A- Ah... Ahhhh... HAAAAAAAAAA- !!"

Megumin: Uum... Kazuma... Are you there ?

Kazuma: Yeah. Don't worry, I won't leave even if the dolls comes.

Megumin: D- Don't ever do that ! But... It's a little embarrassing, so could you sing with a loud voice ?

Kazuma: 'What did I do to end up singing in front of the bathroom at midnight ?'

Kazuma: Okay. Now then, we can't keep standing doing nothing. We have to find Aqua quickly and regroup...

*Step... Step... Step...*

Megumin: K- Kazuma... Don't tell me it chased us all the way here...

Kazuma: Damn it, talk about a pesky spirit...

Megumin: I... I'm from the crimson clan !! Fearing something like an evil spit is...

Kazuma: I- IDIOT, STOP ! DON'T FIRE IT IN A PLACE LIKE THIS !! Now that it's come to this, I have no choice ! Megumin, you run away once the door is opened !

Megumin: Eh, but...

Kazuma: URAAAAH !! COME AT ME, YOU DAMN EVIL SPIRIT !!

*BANG*

Kazuma: ... H- Huh ? What're you doing ?

Aqua: THAT HURT !! What are you doing, you stupid NEET !!

Kazuma: Eh ? Did you just say you purified them all ?

Aqua: Well, yeah. They were quite lamentful, so they were troublesome, but... For me, such low-tier spirits are nothing !

Kazuma: So you went through the whole mansion in one night ? But, the exorcism was something that ends in one night if you had the motivation ? Well, at any rate... If all spirits are gone from the mansion, then the end result is alright...

Aqua: Ah... Also, Kazuma... the doll spirit that has been chasing you two around... Just like I said, that noble's daughter meant no harm. She just wanted you to give her some attention. She wanted to have a talk and drink sake together with you. It might also be that the other stray ghosts felt for that girl's loneliness, so they gathered here.

Kazuma: Was... That true ?

Megumin: I kinda feel like we have done something bad.

Aqua: well, it's okay. I kept her company, until she was satisfied.

Kazuma: ... is that so?

Aqua: Well, with this, the exorcism is over. I'll let the realtor know that it's been sorted out. And I might as well report it to the guild.

Kazuma: Okay... What the hell happened here ?

"Zzzzzzzz..."

Darkness: Zzzzzzzzz...

Aqua: Why are these two just fast asleep on the floor like that ?

Kazuma: Hmm... I feel like there are some questions that are better off not asked.

Luna: Ah, if I recall... We received inquiry regarding the case of evil spirits spreading around. Having exterminated part of them, you will get a special reward.

Aqua: We did it, huh ! All thanks to me ! Keep praising me !

Luna: That's right, we learned the reason why the evils spirits have increased in town.

Kazuma: Eh ? Is that so ?

Luna: Isn't there a public cemetery at the outskirts of the town ? Apparently, somebody has set up a giant barrier over there as a prank. And so... the spirits, being driven out of the cemetery, had nowhere to go. So it looks like they settled in empty houses in town.

"... Ah... I feel like I know hat that means."

Kazuma: Same here. You have something to do about this, no ? Spit it out !

Aqua: Y- Yes... When Wiz asked me to regularly send the spirits in the cemetery to heaven... Going to the cemetery every time was a pain, so I thought that if I prevented them from coming near it, they would spread and dissolve and disappear on their own.

"... ... We're not gonna take the special reward, okay ?"

Aqua: yes...

Kazuma: We're sorry.

Agent: No, no, don't mention ! I understand your story. Well, in terms of results, you did exorcise the spirits of the mansion. So how about it ? Continuing to live in here for a while longer...

"Eh ?"

Agent: If I have you live in it for a long while, its reputation as a mansion of evil spirits will go away eventually, so please do !

Kazuma: Th- Thanks a lot.

Agent: Aah... Then I have two requests...

"What kind of request is 'After an adventure, I would like you to make merry while talking about that adventure during dinner' ?"

Kazuma: Don't ask me, I have no idea.

"Bah, he's letting us stay here free, so... beggars can't be choosers. I'll go help Aqua for lunch."

Kazuma: Oh, okay... And that second request...

Wiz: hello, Kazuma-san.

Kazuma: Ah, Wiz. Sorry about aqua causing you trouble. Is your body okay now ?

Wiz: Yes... How nice, you're maintaining the grave ?

Kazuma: Well, that's also a condition for living in this mansion. But, why is there a grave on the mansion's grounds ?

Wiz: Fufu. Maybe she'll be happy if she's offered some sweet sake ?

Kazuma: Well, we're going to have some food, wanna stop by ?

Wiz: No, I have to take care of the shop, so I'm heading back.

Kazuma: ... What did you come to do ? But... the name carved on that grave... A... Anna... I get the feeling I heard it really recently...

Aqua: Kazuma, quick, quick ! It's already done ! For every minute you're late, your deep fries will decrease by one !!

Kazuma: HOLD IT, YOU !! Like hell such tyranny would be allowed !!