" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Wolbach: ... ... ...

Kazuma: ... ... ...

'... ... ... ... Well, this is awkward...'

Wolbach: ... Um... You don't seem to be residents of this city. Are you here on vacation ?

Kazuma: You could say it's a vacation. We're here with our teammates to enjoy the hot springs.

Wolbach: What a coincidence... I'm here for the hot spring too. But you two seem so young... Why are you here ? To recuperate through the hot spring ? Are you injured ?

Kazuma: That's correct. I might look this way, but we're adventurers. After a fight to the death with a powerful adversary, my neck suffered a serious injury. You could say this is like a badge of honor for men.

"And by that, he means he was trying to snipe a monster from up a tree, but the monster hit the tree, so he fell and broke his neck."

Kazuma: Th- That's not !! Let me turn thing in my advantage !

Wolbach: Fufufu... As for me... While I was fighting my other half, I couldn't snatch my powers back completely. So, to recover my original powers, I'm here for therapeutic hot springs baths.

'... That's a bit too extreme to be just a joke...'

Kazuma: I think the Archwizard in our team would be excited if you tell her that.

Wolbach: Hahaha, is your teammate a Crimson demon ? I wonder how that Crimson demon girl's doing. I even taught her magic... I probably won't need to take a bath in the hot spring if I find my other half; However, it won't be so easy to do so...

'Yeah, that "Joke" felt a teeny tiny bit too real to be one...'

Wolbach: Well then, it's about time I return... Also, maybe it's better if you don't visit the hot springs here anymore. Ah, um...can you please not watch my defenseless body when I get out.

Kazuma: Don't mind me.

Wolbach: I... I know this is a mixed bath, but being stared at like that...

Kazuma: Don't mind me.

"Kazuma..."

Kazuma: Yes, yes, sorry. I'll turn around.

Wolbach: Th- Thank you. Such a wonderful hot spring city, and such a waste. I'll have to search for a new place to recuperate.

Kazuma: ... Killjoy.

"When someone's politely asking you to stop leering, if you don't stop, regardless of gender, that doesn't makes you an advocate of gender equality, that makes you an asshole."

Kazuma: ... My ways were this close to being corrupted, you say... Like they're about to do to the Axis cult ?

"That's something else... And something rather concerning, honestly... These hot springs are the source of income for them, and they're being sabotaged... We can't really just ignore that..."

Kazuma: But we have no intention of getting involved. Or rather, getting dragged into trouble. We're here solely for fun, so let's pretend we didn't hear anything this time.

"... Yeah. We can easily warn them right before we go. After all, that guy did say it'd take one or two decades. Just tell them someone named Hans is ruining the hot springs and they'll deal with that."

Kazuma: Now you're talking my language. The only missing thing would be...

???: Woah ! The hot spring in our hotel is huge, as expected of a high-class hotel ! This is big enough for a swim !

???: Hey, Megumin, it's poor etiquette to swim... Hey, what are you doing ?! The towel- Ahhh !!

Megumin: This isn't a mixed bath, so why are you being so shy ? Adventurers have to take on dirty jobs all the time, so how can you be so squirmy !

Darkness: No, that way of putting it is too weird ! Megumin, you're too bold ! Ahhh, not my towel... !

"... So we ain't alone anymore."

Kazuma: And Megumin is stripping Darkness' towel.

"Kazuma, you're sliding closer and closer to the wall separating the two sections... Careful now."

Kazuma: I mean... It's only a wall, and the top is open... if I were to pile these buckets together, it would be easy to peek on the other side... But I'm a gentleman.

"You sure it isn't the prospect of a gruesome and premature death... Well, another one ?"

Kazuma: That too... hearing a "Hya" scream and being hit by a flying bucket... Ending things so cordially was only possible in a manga. Here, they wouldn't hesitate to call the police.

Megumin: Phew... It's great to soak in a hot spring occasionally. I only wanted to drag the lazy Kazuma out and let him grind levels by fighting the undead Aqua would attract. It seems that choosing this place was the right move.

Darkness: So that was why you told him to come here and recuperate in the hot springs. It's true that if we had stayed in Axel, he would've never agreed on participating in quests. What kind of man is he anyway ? He's conservative and timid, but doesn't care about the status of others and has a strong attitude against the nobles... he gets chased around by frogs, but has the guts to fight the demon king's generals. Rather than strange, he's a confounding guy.

Megumin: Shh ! Darkness, don't say anymore. The mixed bath is right on the other side; Given the choice of the men's bath and the mixed bath, which one do you think Kazuma would choose ?

Darkness: Definitely mixed bath. That coward always holds back at the crucial moment; However, when he has a legal choice, he'll openly choose the mixed bath.

Kazuma: ... ... ... ... I feel like going over to beat them up...

"Are they wrong, though ? Let's just keep it low."

Megumin: Kazuma ! You're there, right ? You must be sticking your ear against the wall and imagining which part of her body Darkness washes first and panting in excitement, right ?

Darkness: M- Megumin ! Why are you dragging me into this... ? Hey Kazuma, you heard that, right ? I know you're there !

Kazuma: I don't have any obligations to tell them I'm here. I won't be ticked off just because they saw through how I'd act. I won't be ticked off...

Megumin: ... That's strange, is he not there ? But that's impossible...

Darkness: But no one's answering...

Megumin: ... ... It seems Kazuma's really not there. That makes me feel kinda guilty for suspecting him. I'll nonchalantly treat him to some fruit juice later.

Darkness: We were blinded by our prejudice of him... But, thinking again... Didn't Wiz say something about Y/n being in the bath as well ?

Megumin: That could explain that. It's funny how they hold each other back. When you think about it, one is a pervert begrudging to do anything regarding to quests... And one's kind of a sadistic psychopath tired of sweeping Kazuma's remains... By holding each other back, they actually become two normal human beings.

"... Okay, I want to beat her up too now."

Kazuma: Hahaha... Hah...

Megumin: Anyway, they're rather dependable.

Darkness: That's right. They might be like that, but they'll help when their comrades are really in danger. Aside from not being straightforward sometimes, Kazuma's personality isn't bad. Maybe I should reflect... And that sadistic streak... It's...

Kazuma: ... You know... I feel like we should treat them to something after that...

"True... We may all be burdens in our own ways, but we're burdening together. I kinda feel cleansed now."

Kazuma: Hehe. Let's get going then.

Darkness: By the way, Megumin, it has been bothering me... Your buttocks there...

Megumin: Hey, even if you're the one saying that... I won't forgive you if you go on ! Really, with this pair of lecherous things ? If you can spare the effort to notice my butt, why don't you keep those large things of yours away ?!

Darkness: ahhh ! Wait ! M- Megumin, stop... ! Not, not there, ahhh !!

Kazuma: ... ... ...

"Don't. That won't end well."

Kazuma: Are you telling me to let it go ? Such an opportunity ?

"No. I'm telling you I have a better idea. Now watch."

"... Gaster Seeker..."

Kazuma: ... What is that tiny blaster ?

"I've looked a bit into that whole mana stuff after we got Destroyer. Turns out that's what happens when I start pouring mana alongside stamina on my skills. I called it 'Neutral Mode'. You want the short or long explanation ?"

Kazuma: Short please.

"So, in addition to a certain amount of stamina points necessary for the summon to take place, I can 'Overcharge' it with mana as well. Think of it as the regular one, but with enormous boosts to all stats. Drawback being it's a tad bit more difficult to control and stabilize, but I think I've got the hang on it."

Kazuma: Neutral... So the blue one's pacifist, huh.

"Yeah, and i'm scared of what would happen if I could put life points in as well. Given the lack of control Neutral provides, it wouldn't be too far-fetched to qualify... I don't know, I'll probably call it 'Genocide Mode' when the time comes, it will probably be some sort of Berserker mode... But this little fella right here... It's a seeker. Basically, it can't fight, but it lets me see and hear through it. Perfect for reconnaissance, don't you think ?"

Kazuma: You made a drone... Why didn't you tell us sooner you had something like that up your sleeve ?

"You really think they would've let me live it down ? With something like that in the wrong hands, nowhere would be safe. So that's why i'm giving you control and vision over it, just this once."

Kazuma: *Sniff* You're a real friend. Okay, let's go...

"Maneuver slow... get around the wall... Hide beneath the water, and..."

Darkness: 'You think he's gonna take the bait ?'

Megumin: 'If he's there, definitely. Now get ready to blast him away through the wall at my signal.'

"... ... Let's get out of here."

Kazuma: Yeah.

"Let's also forget about treating them to something."

Kazuma: Yeah.

Aqua: That... That's so mean ! I didn't do anything ! I only visited the bath !

Wiz: Um, please, Aqua-sama, don't cry anymore... When your tears touch my skin, it starts tingling. It hurts...

Kazuma: What now ? Today's a bad day, and trouble keeps coming one after another !

Aqua: What do you mean by bad day ? What trouble ? Why are you blaming everything on me ?

"What happened for you to be so snappy ?!"

Wiz: Um... Aqua-sama went to the secret hot spring of the Axis cult, and the hot spring there turned into normal warm water. After that...

Aqua: they chased me out ! But I'm a goddess ! Why must I be chased out of the church worshiping me ? That's too horrible !

"That's right... You purify water just by touching it... the fact you can still get smashed despite that is beyond me, honestly."

Aqua: And... ! The thing that made me angry was when I told the hot spring manager "Sorry for turning the hot spring into warm water, but it can't be helped since I'm the goddess Aqua herself", the manager... the manager, he... he laughed with a "Pfffr" ! I'm the goddess ! that's me !

Kazuma: ... Pfffr.

Aqua: WAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!