" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: This city's crisis appears to be serious.

"For pity's sake, we're having breakfast ! Can't you give us a break after you cried the entire night ?!"

Kazuma: Also, don't you dare use any other hot spring except for the one that comes along with the room.

Aqua: Listen to me !! I didn't purify the hot spring because I wanted to ! Even if you pour all the high-quality shower foam Darkness was keeping in the bathroom into the bath water, I can purify it in an instant. It's normal for me to purify a hot spring.

"Then don't go to any hot springs."

Darkness: What ? You used all the shower foam ?! They were luxury items I ordered from the capital !

"... ... ..."

"Look, Kazuma, I'm Santa !"

Kazuma: Pfrrrrr !!

"Mh."

Aqua: But this is weird, I took a really long time to purify the secret hot spring of the Axis cult. My purification powers are beyond amazing. For example...

*Fwoop*

Aqua: See ?

Kazuma: If I see ?! What are you doing ?! Get me a new cup of coffee !

Aqua: As you can see, I only need an instant to purify it. However, it took really long that time. This must mean that the hot spring was heavily polluted... I hear the water quality in all the hot springs was turning worse, right ? That means the threat my Axis Cult will face isn't a direct assault from the demon king's army, but a strike against the Axis Cult's source of income, the hot springs !

Megumin/Darkness: is that so ? How amazing.

Aqua: Believe me ! I'm telling the truth !

"Anyway, it's just the water quality of a few hot springs turning bad, right ? Why would you link it to the demon king's army ?"

Megumin: Indeed, the Axis Cult is weird, does dumb things, and is unpopular with people, but the demon king's army won't do something so troublesome because of that, right ?

Kazuma: ...' Damn it, that man in the bath was definitely a minion of the demon king...'

'Don't tell anyone yet. If we report that to the guild here, they'll ask for our assistance. And honestly, not in the mood for demon king's shenanigoons right now.'

Aqua: I'll fight to defend this city ! I hope everyone can give me a hand !

Kazuma: I need to go sightseeing, I don't have time for this.

Megumin: I experienced how scary Axis Cultists are already, so I'll pass this time. I'll follow Kazuma today.

"It's not against you. But if someone is working against this cult, I'm more likely to join them."

Aqua: Why ?! Something like sightseeing can be done any other day ! Megumin too ?! And you... What are you trying to instill, a revolution ?! Don't hate on my devotees ! Hey, Darkness...

Darkness: Eh... I, um... Well...

Aqua: Pleaseeee !!

Darkness: All right, all right, I'll go ! I'll accompany you, all right ! Don't purify my grape juice !

Kazuma: ... Hey, is Wiz still sleeping ? She can't handle you at all, but she'll follow you if you tell her to.

Aqua: Oh, after I held onto Wiz and cried the entire night, I found her on the verge of dying because of my tears. She's recuperating in bed right now.

"Take care of Wiz before you try and save the city ! She's been missing most of this trip because of you !"

Kazuma: She's already gone.

Megumin: Dragging Darkness along with her.

"Why do I feel like a single dad desperately trying to keep his kids in line... What now ?"

Kazuma: I did say I wanted to go sightseeing, but there isn't anything fun to do in this hot spring city. And if we just wander around aimlessly, they would keep trying to "Persuade" us to join the Cult.

Megumin: If there's no good place to go, let's head outside to cast explosion.

"No way in hell. In Axel, it's not an issue since people are used to them, but here, you're not doing anything that would bring attention to us."

Kazuma: ... It should be fine if we go far enough...

Megumin: Hehe...

Wiz: Good morning... Ughh, everyone's up so early...

"Ah yes, good morning. Recovered from your purification ?"

Wiz: A little... I even saw my teammates from my time as an adventurer waving at me from the other side of the river, shouting "Don't come over"... But I made it through in the end.

"You just casually said something extremely frightening. So even undeads can have near-death experiences ?"

Kazuma: Do you have any plans for today, Wiz ? Megumin and I will be making a trip to the outskirts of the city.

Wiz: I don't have anything particular in mind... the monsters around here as strong, so if you want to leave the city, allow me to tag along, if you don't mind.

Kazuma: Please do ! It feels much safer being with a real mage.

Megumin: Tell me why i'm a fake one !

"... Okay, path is clear. No cultists in sight for now."

Megumin: When did you get these seekers ? You didn't use them for anything else, did you ?

"Don't ask questions you don't want to be answered."

Megumin: What ?!

Kazuma: ... Hey, Wiz, when you mentioned your teammates from your time as an adventurer, I wanted to ask you... Why did you turn into a lich ? This might sound inappropriate, but, I feel like you're one of the very few normal people residing in Axel. Why did the famous adventurer go against the will of the gods and become a lich ?

Wiz: That's true... It's along story, but I'll explain to everyone when Aqua-sama's present too.

"It would probably be better if Aqua heard it. As long as we're here to prevent her from pouncing and purifying you."

Wiz: let's invite Beldia and Vanir to hear it too. You know, when I was still an adventurer, I had a deadly fight with him.

Kazuma: ... hey, how old were you when you turned into a lich ? It sounded like a long time ago...

Wiz: I was about twenty.

Kazuma: Hmm, no wonder, your appearance is about that age too. How long have you been like this ? Eh... How old are you now ?

Wiz: Twenty, my age won't increase after becoming a lich.

Kazuma: Uhh... No, that...

Wiz: I'm forever twenty.

Kazuma: ... I- Is that so ?

"Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma..."

Kazuma: Yes, I'm Kazuma.

"The 'ask a lady her age', really ?"

Kazuma: Very taboo, yes...

Megumin: By the way, I have something to ask you... Aside from Wiz, is there anyone else in the Demon King's army who can use Explosion ? Um... Do you know of a big-breasted lady who can use Explosion ?

Wiz: ... No, as far as I know, i'm the only one who can use Explosion in the Demon King's army. Also, it's been a long time since I visited his their castle. Therefore, i'm not sure about newcomers who've joined after that...

Megumin: I see, that's great...

".. Why do you sound so relieved ?"

Kazuma: Forget that, what's this about a big-breasted lady ? Don't leave us hanging, explain it clearly.

Megumin: Why you... It's nothing important. One of the reasons I visited Axel was because I heard there was a mage that could use Explosion here. It seemed like that rumor was referring to Wiz.

"So you were looking for someone, huh..."

Kazuma: Then explain in detail what that has to do with big breasts ?

Megumin: At least say the whole thing. She's a big-breasted mage. I want to be just like her. One day, we'll meet again...

Kazuma: You want to be like her... ? Do you mean the size of your breasts ?

"You must be pretty concerned about it, if the only thing you remember from her is her bust size..."

Megumin: I'll kill you both.

"You try, you try... And speaking of wanting to kill me... I'll leave you there, there's something I must do."

Kazuma: Something... Like... ?

"Put some salt of happiness in my life. Oh, mister, can I borrow that for just a second ?"

Clerk: Huh ?

Frisk: please, stop that... We came here for relaxing !

Chara: *Hic* Jich town is NUUUTS !! Everyone's STOOPID and the water doesn't even feel that good !

Frisk: Look, just because they were insistent doesn't mean you can spend the stay wasting yourself like that... Please...

Chara: L- Leave me with my only friend here, that bottle... I feel it, if I move, things will get even worse...

Frisk: ... Huh ?

'Shhhhhhhhh...'

Chara: W- What... ? *Hic* I'm in enough of a down already, you don't need to add-

https://youtu.be/T8UDz3Zv7rA

Chara: ... ... ... ... *Twitch*

*SCHKLING*

Chara: ... I have a meat grinder at home with your name on it, trashbag.

"Yes, good ol' grind. Something you didn't do enough before facing him, huh ?"

Chara: ... ... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!

Kazuma: So that's what he had in mind...

Chara: GET BACK HEEEEEEEEEEEERE !!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!

Wiz: She really doesn't seem to like him, for some reason...

Kazuma: It would be too long to explain.

*SKRASHBLANG*

Megumin: ... ... ... What was that ?

Kazuma: I don't know...

Chara: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!

"GET BACK HEEEEEEEEEEEERE !!"

Wiz: ... Is that a trombone sticking out of his bu-

Kazuma: Let's move on... We have an Explosion to fire...

*One

https://youtu.be/Pdk85OYQpK8

Later*

Kazuma: ... ... Enjoying yourself ?

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth... An asscheek for an asscheek."

Kazuma: Was it even worth it ?

"Hey pot, kettle called. But I'm grateful Frisk chose to be a priest, else the toilet would've been quite the ordeal for the next few weeks."

Kazuma: That's payback for what you did to me. But speaking of priest, do you see where Aqua ran off to ?

"You don't want to know... Take the next left..."

Kazuma: Left... You mean that gathering ? Is that some kind of event ?

Megumin: This is a tourism city after all, maybe they invited some celebrities to perform and entertain the visitors.

"Yeah... Entertain..."

Wiz: ... It's Aqua-sama. What's she doing ?

Aqua: My beloved Axis cultists ! Right now, the Demon King's army is conducting destructive attacks on this city !!

Kazuma: So that's...

"Worst thing, I'm pretty sure Darkness isn't even enjoying this..."

Aqua: By destructive attacks, I'm referring to the poisoning of the city's hot springs ! I've already confirmed that many of the hot springs were hit !

Crowd: I've never heard of that. I just bathed in that hot spring there and it seemed fine.

Aqua: that's because I purified the poison in all of the hot springs ! Yes, all the hot springs in the vicinity have been purified by me. However, we can't let our guards down just yet ! Everyone, please don't visit the baths before this incident is concluded !

Audience: This is the city of hot springs, lady priestess. If you forbid the customers from visiting the hot springs, how can we conduct business ?

Crowd: That's right, and why would the Demon King's army poison a place like this ?

Aqua: they did so to cut the tourism income for this city and crush the source of income of the Axis Cult ! That's right, the Demon King's army fears the Axis Cultists ! I won't allow them to stir any trouble just because they're jealous of our hot springs ! Please, faithful believers of the Axis Cult- !

Crowd: There she is !! She dares to show her face around here ! Everyone, grab her ! She's been turning the hot springs in this city into warm water, how evil !! She might even be a dog of the Demon King's army sent here to destroy the Axis Cult !

Aqua: Y- You're wrong ! There's a reason for this, let me explain ! The hot springs I purified were poisonous ! I admit that some of the normal hot springs might've been purified too, but this was for the sake of everyone...

Owner: If this is true, then you should've told us earlier ! And even if you did purify the hot springs, it's still impossible to purify such a large number ! You must've sneaked in when no one was around, right ? Using that chance, you drained all of the hot spring's water away and replaced it with warm water for showering, right ?!

Aqua: That, that's not ! Because if others saw me perform the purification, my real identity would've been exposed ! That would cause a huge commotion... !

"... Alright, this is bad... She's about to say something she really shouldn't..."

Kazuma: let's get out of here before she notices us ! We have to pretend we don't know her, understand ?!

Megumin: She's already made this big of a mess and you're planning on abandoning her ? It can only be settled if you intervene, so hurry up and do something !

Wiz: Aqua-sama's going to cry, you know ? If this goes on...

Owner: Is rumor-mongering all you can do ?! The situation's serious now ! And who are you anyway ? Are you really a minion of the demon king ?!

Aqua: Eh ? No, I'm not ! Hey Darkness, don't just stand there, say something ! And say the lines like I told you to. "Axis Cult, Axis Cult's depending on you" ! Say it, don't be shy, go on.

Darkness: A- Axis Cult... Is... Depend...

Kazuma: ... My condolences.

Aqua: Ahhh, really ! All right, I'll tell you who I am ! Devoted Axis cultists, my name's Aqua ! That's right, the object of your worship, the Goddess Aqua ! My beloved believers, I'm here in the mortal world to save you all !

Kazuma: ... Okay, let's go, quick !

"This is bad... This might've been salvageable before, but now that she just dropped that bomb, it's a lost case. Let's run !"

Wiz: W- Wait ! What about Aqua-sama and Darkness... ?

Crowd: Don't joke about this you heretic ! Do you think you can impersonate Aqua-Sama just because you have blue hair and eyes ?! You'll receive divine retribution ! Death penalty ! Tie her up and throw her in the lake ! If she really is Aqua-sama, then she won't die even if she's thrown into the water !

Aqua: WAAAHHH ! No !! I'm telling the truth, I'm really Aqua !

Darkness: Ahhh ! No, don't throw stones... Aqua hide behind me !

"... ... ..."

Kazuma: ... ... ...

Wiz: Hey, where are you going off to ? Aqua-sama, she... !

"Let's take a loooooooong detour to go back to the hotel..."

Megumin/Kazuma: Agreed.