" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: I think there are problems with the water source.

"So they decided to stop going after individual springs, and went all out for this one, huh..."

Kazuma: This was more akin to a simulation test. But if that happens again... Isn't the water source at the top of the hill behind the Axis cult's main base ?

"You think the other party got pressured by the manhunt order and rushed their plan of attack ?"

Kazuma: That would make sense. But how did he infiltrate such a heavily-guarded place... ?

Wiz: ... You said his name was... Hans, right ?

"I believe it's what I heard, yes."

Wiz: ... Hans...

Darkness: Hey, what are you eating ? Give me some too.

"Hands off ! You don't get between a man and his lunch !"

Kazuma: You know... I've been feeling that recently you've been dumber than Aqua.

Darkness: ... hah ? Hey, what do you mean by that ? Are you implying that I'm usually behaving like an idiot ?

"I sure hope you're not meaning that about me. I'm the sole reason the combined IQ of our party can reach three digits, and you know it."

Kazuma: You all are idiots !

Darkness: Well then, how long are you going to play around ? Time to go ! Water source ! We'll head to the hill behind the cult's headquarters to investigate !

Kazuma: ... 'Self-conscious that the only thing you did so far was use your family's name, huh ?' All right, let's go to the water source and look.

"I have the distinct impression we're forgetting something important..."

"I stand corrected, we did forget something important."

Aqua: Hey, I'm an Archpriest from the Axis Cult ! Look closely ! Hey, look at my adventurer card carefully !

Guard: No, even if you're an archpriest of the Axis Cult, I can't let you through. Only the manager of the hot springs is allowed to go in.

Kazuma: I can understand their reaction though. A group of fully-armed people suddenly wanting to pass through the check-point.

"Yup. Although the sight of Aqua not getting what she wants is strangely appealing to me."

Aqua: ... Thou devoted axis cultists... hear me, this is a necessary action. A just course. If thou allow passage, this city shall-

Guard: Ah, i'm a believer of Eris.

"PFFFFFRRRRRR !!"

Aqua: Why ?! Why do you follow Eris's religion even though you're living in this city ?! ... Hey, please, let me go in ! There's big trouble at the source ! This is for the sake of the hot spring city ! I... I just want to save this city !

"... hey, want me to teleport everyone behind these guards or something ?"

Kazuma: You can do that ?

"Only one at a time. And it significantly reduces the range, but I could get us a couple hundred meters ahead."

Kazuma: just wait for a bit. This is fun to watch.

Aqua: Ah, wait ! I suddenly realize that you're handsome ! Your profile's just like a red dragon, dominatingly strong.

Guard: You mean my face looks like a lizard ?!

Aqua: ... All right, if you won't let me through no mater what, I'll make you Eris devotees taste some bitter medicine and run to the Axis church by the hillside to repent !

Guards: What nonsense are you saying , Damn it, that's why they say the personality of Axis cultists are so terrible ! And your blue hair and eyes, you are not that person who was turning the hot springs into warm water, right ?

Aqua: No, that's wrong ! I was just purifying the hot springs... !

Guards: So it is you ! Even more reasons that we can't let you through ! Go back !

"... Now would be a good time for plan B, Kazuma."

Kazuma: I figured. You're up Darkness, a rare opportunity for you to shine.

Darkness: Rare ? Hey, I contribute occasionally, okay ! Stop, stop pushing me !

Megumin: Take a good look at who this great person is ! She's the daughter of the grand noble house Dustiness, lady Dustiness Ford Lalatina ! This is an emergency and concerns the survival of this city !

Guards: Ah ?!

Kazuma: That is so, you can treat this as an order from House Dustiness. The hot springs' contamination incident that happened yesterday should be the result of someone poisoning the source. we're here to investigate on the lady's order.

Darkness: Th- This is an emergency, but if I abuse my authority like this...

Kazuma: here my lady, please take out the pendant proving your identity that you're hiding in your chest ! My lady, please don't resist... hey, cough it out my lady !

Aqua: Kazuma, grab on tight ! I-ll- GH ! That hurts, Darkness, that hurts ! Wiz, Megumin ! Use this chance to grab the pendant !

Megumin: Wiz, you take her right hand, Aqua take her left... My lady, please stop your futile resistance !

Wiz: So sorry ! I'm sorry !

Darkness: Stop it , all of you... the Dustiness house won't permit such abuse of authority... ! Ahhh ?!

"... ... ... Freeze."

All: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... !

"Finally, peace and quietness. So as we were saying..."

Darkness: ... ... ... !

"Here. This pendant is the proof of name you wanted, right ? Will you let us pass now ?"

Guards: O- Our apologies ! Please forgive us !

"Things go so well when people can get along."

Darkness: ... G- Give it back now !!

Guards: Um, Lady Dustiness, I know you're here to investigate, but the manager of the hot springs has already gone in...

Kazuma: ... Is the manager a tanned man with short, brown hair ?

Guard: No, he's a blonde old man who's been managing the hot springs all these years.

Kazuma: Well, that was worth a try.

Guards: Also, there are wild beasts in the hills ahead. Please be careful if you're going there, Lady Dustiness.

Kazuma: Damn it... Why is the vegetation so thick ? Why is there still snow around ? It was supposed to be a hot spring vacation, so why are we hiking up a hill ?

"Welcome to that strange place called 'The outside world' Kazuma."

Wiz: B- By the way, I didn't know Darkness-san is a daughter of the Dustiness house ! Sorry for my impudence in the past.

Darkness: No, I hope you can treat me just like before; I'll feel better that way.

Wiz: is that so ? If you insists...

Darkness: That should be the reaction of normal people... i'm relieved after seeing Wiz's attitude. This bunch has been so mean to me...

"Honestly, the simple fact you never used your name to make your life easier, and even went as far as changing it so you could be a regular adventurer is kinda impressive. Weird, sure, but impressive."

Kazuma: You're such a troublesome girl. Make it clear whether you want us to treat you like a noble or a commoner ! Hey, if you want us to treat a lady, then change your temper, crude language, and stubborn nature.

Darkness: I'm not troublesome ! And you have no right to say my language is crude ! You're younger than me, right ? Not just me, you're rude to everyone... !

"Would you rather have him sugercoat it to be nice ? That already happened once, and none of us were happy about it."

Kazuma: That's because I treat all of you as my comrades. that's right, in my heart, you're not the aristocrat lady Lalatina who's older than me, but the dependable crusader Darkness.

Darkness: Is... Is that so. That, that's great...

Kazuma: ... So gullible.

Aqua: very gullible.

Megumin: Too gullible.

"Gullibility is off the charts."

Wiz: E- Everyone !

Kazuma: ... Anyway, we've been walking for quite some time. Aren't there wild beasts living here ? Will that manager who entered before us be okay ? Isn't he an old man ?

"Really, Kazuma ? Why would you jinx it so hard by saying something like that ?"

Kazuma: I'm not ! I just thought about that suddenly... !

Wiz: H- Hey, there's something up ahead... I don't think it's moving...

"... For fuck's sake, Kazuma..."

"For fuck's sake, what happened here ?!"

Megumin: How... How can this be... ? This is a rookie killer, right ?

Darkness: or rather, what's left of it... Only skin and fangs... What could've done something like that ?

"... Could an old man defeat a rookie killer by himself ?"

Aqua: That hot spring grandpa's really strong ! Let's meet up with him so he can protect us !

Kazuma: No ! There are no grandpas in this world that can take out a rookie killer alone ! This has to be the work of some inhuman monster !

Aqua: W- What ?! Didn't the butcher shop grandpa in Axel hunt toads and fire drakes alone ?! A grandpa that can take out a rookie killer might exist too !

Kazuma: Don't compare the old people in this world with the weirdos in that town ! Just look at how that rookie killer died, there are too many suspicious points !

"... So in short, we can't let our guard down. That grandpa is definitely more than just meets the eye."

Aqua: ... the grandpa chief in Axel turned a ferocious brutal alligator into a main dish too...

Kazuma: Why are you still harping on about this ?!

Aqua: Hey, Wiz, aren't you a lich ? Don't you have any convenient lich magic to let us fly straight to the top ?

"Oh, so when I propose to take everyone there, it's out of question, but when it's Wiz, you ask politely ? I see how it is, very well."

Aqua: I'm never getting a ride on one of these things ever again.

Wiz: Aqua-sama, liches aren't all-powerful. I did develop a few spells, but they're all offensive oriented...

Megumin: Oh, to develop spells on your own, that's impressive. Don't tell me they're stronger than the Explosion.

Darkness: Eh... i'm on edge because I heard there were monsters, but we didn't meet any... Why's that so... ?

Kazuma: H- hey, all of you ! Wait, slow down ! If we suddenly meet... The enemy... And are... Out of breath... How... can we fight ?

Aqua: ... I knew Kazuma's stats were bad, but I didn't know it was this terrible.

Kazuma: GH- !

Megumin: Anyway, what's your stamina ? Don't tell me it's the same level as an Archwizard like me ?

"Why don't you take a look at his card then ?"

Megumin: Yeah... ... ... ... Oh...

Kazuma: What ?

Megumin: ... How should I put this ? Kazuma has the lowest level here. Don't worry, just train up from now on and your stats will grow.

Kazuma: Hey, you mean my stats are really on the same level as you, right ?!

"Let's take a break. We walked quite some distance, but here's no sign of that grandpa. Instead of dashing ahead at full speed, we should conserve our energy."

Kazuma: Hey, don't tell me my stats are lower than yours ! Is my strength and stamina really lower than yours ?!

"... Just keep on grinding, okay ?"

Kazuma: The stamina...

"I'm a stamina machine, remember ? Honestly, I think I could go on days like that. But you don't, so take it easy for now. It's not like we can get lost if all we're doing is following a pipe."

Aqua: Speaking off, we should be near the source of one. Just a bit farther and... And... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!

"What now ?"

Aqua: The water !! The hot spring's water's completely black !!

"Okay, that's very concerning."

*Pshhhhhh*

Aqua: It burns ! Wahh, it's scalding !! It's scalding my hand !

Kazuma: You idiot ! Why are you putting your hand directly into the hot spring source ? Pull your hand out !

Aqua: But, but ! It burns !

Kazuma: Damn it ! Freeze !

"That won't work... Someone else has ice ?"

Wiz: Freeze !

"Y- Yeah, that'll do."

Aqua: Phew... Thanks, Wiz. And Kazuma... I'll be thanking you a little.

Kazuma: Only a little ?!

"Hey, you contributed, a little."

Aqua: The spring in itself has been purified, but... I can't purify the water that's already in the pipes ! It'll take some time before this hot spring can be used again...

Kazuma: And it'll be a long time before this hot water becomes hot spring water again...

"... So the test they ran yesterday was conclusive, and now they are attacking for real... Looks like that manager really doesn't like his job too much."

Aqua: What are we waiting for then ?! To the top of the hill !!

Wiz: ... ... Hans, Hans... Wait, that's it !

"That's what ?"