" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

*B-TOOOOOOOOOOM*

Hans: GAAARG !!

Kazuma: He... He really went to fight him one-on-one ?!

Aqua: Well, let's go too ! It'll be bad if this goes on ! If the last remaining water source gets polluted, it'll be a long time before the hot springs will be available in this city again ! The Axis Cult in this city will disband !

Megumin/Kazuma: isn't that a good thing ?

Aqua: WAAAAAAHHH !!

Wiz: Wait... E- Everyone ! Stop joking with Aqua-sama ! The important thing right now is...

*F-TWOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Kazuma: THAT ONE WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT !!

"Then get your sorry asses over here ! He's shapeshifting to avoid my shots, and that's annoying !"

Kazuma: Shapeshifting... Hey, that reminds me, he changed his form into that of the grandpa who manages the hot spring to get in, right ? Where's the real manager ? He should be a blonde old man, right...

"You heard the man. Now answer."

Hans: Him ? I ate him.

Kazuma: ... What, what did you just say ?!

Hans: I said, I ate him. i'm a slime, isn't eating an instinct ? Anyway, my shapeshifting ability only works if I devour-

Wiz: CURSED CRYSTAL PRISON !!

*SKRRRRRRRK*

Aqua: What was that ?!

Wiz: ... ... ... ... ... My condition for staying neutral, and not interfering with the Demon king's army, was the guarantee that, adventurers and knights aside, the Demon King's army won't harm civilians who are non-combatants, right ?

Hans: W- Wiz, stop ! Undo your spell ! WIZ !!

Wiz: It's inevitable for adventurers to lose their lives in battle. They take the lives of monsters every day, that's their livelihood. They must've made the resolve of being killed by monsters. It's the same for knights, their salary is paid by the people, and in exchange, they must protect the citizens. It couldn't be helped if they had to sacrifice their very lives...

Hans: Wiz ! You really want to fight me ? If we go at it for real, this area will be contaminated... !

Wiz: But the hot spring manager grandpa was innocent !

Kazuma: S- So that's the serious Wiz...

Aqua: She's scaring me...

"It might be worse than you think... She could force that kind of deal onto the Demon King itself..."

Hans: Wiz ! Sorry, but I don't plan to fight you ! Let me finish my chores and leave !

*SKRRRRRRRAAAK*

Aqua: He tore off his own arm !

"Of course, he's a slime ! I've been mauling him with laser beams, how do you think he's not falling apart by now ?!"

Megumin: He's charging in to the last water source !

Aqua: What ?! He's so fast ! Shouldn't slimes be those soft, cute gooey monsters that move slowly ?!

Kazuma: 'So she had the same impression of slimes as me... Where even is that guy's brain ?'

"Now look who's running away... But that gave me an idea, I think I know how to beat this guy !"

Kazuma: How ?

"Ice ! If we freeze and hardens his body, he should become vulnerable to our attacks !"

Kazuma: ... Hey, maybe that would actually work...

Aqua: then stop him already !

"Fine, fine ! You're not making it any further, Hans !! BONE CAGE !!"

*KRUNK*

"Okay, so now he's kinda stuck."

Hans : You think so ?! i'll just dissolve the cage and seep through !

"Fine, fine. Play that way. But... That'll just make it hurt more !"

*Drzzzt*

Hans: GAH ?!

"I'm gonna say it again, I'm the sole reason our collective IQ reaches three digits. So go on, be my guest. By all means try to slip out of the laser beams cage, you'll be fried trying !!"

Kazuma: You, um... Chill out, okay ?

"I needed something to vent out everything that happened in this town. he'll have to do."

Hans: Damn it ! But I still have that ace in the hole ! You lot are just too naive !

*Splurch*

Aqua: Haaah ?! He threw his own arm towards the spring !

"Kazuma !!"

Kazuma: Snipe !

Hans: What ?!

"Phew. Good thing Snipe's accuracy depends on your agility and luck..."

Kazuma: You say it ! Snipe ! Snipe ! Snipe !!

"... Hey Aqua, remember that thing you used to raise your luck in rock-paper-scissor ? Use it on Kazuma !"

Aqua: Heh ? O- Okay ?!

Hans: Gah ! Stop this ! Are you kidding me ?! What terrifying accuracy is this ?!

Megumin: Don't look down on this man's luck ! His stats might be weaker than a mage, but he's survived fights with powerful foes thanks to his strong luck !

Kazuma: Hey, are you praising or mocking me ?

"Shut up and Snipe !"

*Krrrrrrrrrrrk*

"... I really don't like that sound..."

Hans: You rotten little troublemakers... ! You intend to make a fool of me... ?! HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !!

"Haha... Ha... Huh... *Glups*"

Kazuma: IT'S HUUUUUUUUUUGE !! How are we supposed to fight that ?!

Darkness: What... What a wonderful slime ! If it weren't poisonous, I would take it home as a pet... !

Kazuma: Enough with the dumb remarks, let's get outta here !!

"Is he gonna eat everything in sight ?! Wiz, can you freeze him like you did earlier ?!"

Wiz: I- I don't think I could freeze something this big with the mana I have left ! I would have to get it from somebody...

"I'll pass on that one !"

"Holding him in place is already taking enough out of me !"

Kazuma: 'Crap ! I don't have nearly enough mana, Aqua's would give her food poisoning, and Y/n's already depleting his ! Is there anyone here who might have enough MP for Wiz to...' AH ! Megumin !! Share your magic with Wiz ! Please !

Megumin: Huh ?! Me ?! Nooo way ! I'd rather just blow him to kingdom come myself !

Aqua: Don't do that !! You'll poison this entire mountain !!

Kazuma: Listen ! This isn't the time for !

Darkness: ... Don't tell me you're satisfied with trees and dirt ! COME ON ! REACH OUT THOSE SLIMY, GRASPING TENTACLES FOR ME !!

"Darkness ?! What do you think you're doing ?! You'll just get dissolved without your armor !!"

Darkness: If armor won't help against a slime anyway, I'm better off without it !! C'mere !!

Darkness: Listen everyone ! I'm confident I can resist his poison even if he swallows me !

"No you can't this is ridiculous ! This is madness !!"

Darkness: I can ! Just watch me ! So this is your opportunity to run awa- !

Aqua: ABSOLUTELY NOT !! What kind of Goddess can't even protect her own followers' hometown ?! Just forget about me and go !

Kazuma: Argh ! Everyone's doing whatever they damn well please ! Just what the hell are we supposed to do ?!

Wiz: Hans-san is trying to absorb anything that might give him strength, he's acting mostly on instinct now ! Darkness-san's High HP must have attracted him. This is our only chance to finish the purification !

Kazuma: Yeah, but... We have to finish him too ! What to do... ? What should we do... ?! ... ... Wiz ! Would you be able to freeze Hans if he was smaller ?!

Wiz: Huh ? It might be possible, but I've barely got the mana for it...

Kazuma: barely, huh... ? That'll work. Hey Y/n ! Were your attacks really effective against his body when you fought ?!

"He has magic resistance, no obliteration resistance ! If only He stayed still, I could vaporize him !"

Kazuma: ... That'll work ! MEGUMIN !! You know what to do !! Be ready at any time !!

Megumin: Right !

Kazuma: Darkness ! Listen up ! We're going to send that guy flying ! I know you don't get a lot of chances to shine, but our lives are going to be in your hands !

Darkness: I d-d- don't know what you're talking about ! I risk myself to save you every single time !

Kazuma: And I'm sorry these are the only times we ever count on you, but we're facing a total wipe ! I believe in your tenacity ! So... I'm asking you, Darkness ! Help us to-

Darkness: I get it already ! There's only one thing I can do anyway !

Kazuma: NOW, MEGUMIN !! DO IIIIIIT !!

Kazuma: D... Darkness... ? You...

Darkness: Thank goodness... You're all safe. I was worried I might not be able to protect all of you by myself, but... Hans's body didn't touch any of y- HRK !

Kazuma: Darkness ! I... i'm so sorry ! It was my stupid plan that got you into this mess !

Darkness: No, don't worry about it. I give my body to protect you all. I'm proud to say that something only I could do. No one had to tell me to do it. It's... Huh. This poison of his is powerful stuff. It's eating through my body... The pain is constant~... So this is the power of the deadly poison slime I'd heard so much about... ! But... H- Here on death's doorsteps, I...

"Well... There was no reasons to be worried. And although I'm glad my telekinesis protected me, i'm hurt you didn't think of me for that plan."

Kazuma: yeah, I don't know why I was worried... How about you, Megumin ? You okay ?

Megumin: I am, but I used up my mana and can't move; please give me some.

Aqua: OWWWWWWW !! Hot, hot, hot !! Why am I the only one who got covered in this repulsive goop ?!

Darkness: S- Sorry... I didn't think about you, Aqua... But you can survive Hans's poison, right ?

Aqua: ARGH ! It got in the main spring and now I have to start purifying all over again ! Fine ! I'll make this nice and thorough !!

Kazuma: Sh- She's right ! This isn't over yet ! We have to deal with Hans's pieces... ! Wiz !

Wiz: Right ! Megumin-san... Darkness-san... Y/n-san... Kazuma-san... And Aqua-sama. You've given your all to grant me this chance, I won't waste it ! CURSED... CRYSTAL PRISON !!

Wiz: ... Thank goodness I was able to stop Hans... Before I ran out of magic.

Kazuma: Wiz ! Are you okay ?!

???: To think... You could bring me so low...

Hans: But this... isn't over... ! Eating all of you ought to make me feel better !

"Freeze !"

Hans: Guh !

"Heh... Hehehe... Didn't I tell you already ? Dealing with something like that, is a job for me..."

Hans: You think... You can defeat me !

"Not quite just me. there's one you should be terrified off right now."

Aqua: ... ... I shall strike the demon king... I shall slay the demon... I shall strike the Demon King !! I shell slay the Demon !!

Hans: Why, you... I- If you think that's enough to defeat me... You're wrong !!

"Then let's see how hard I can go ! Although... I might need a bit of healing right now."

Aqua: You just have to ask. Rejuvenation !

"Yeah, that's the stamina I need. So now... Karmic retribution it is !"

Aqua: THE PUNISHMENT FOR DEFILING MY BEAUTIFUL FOLLOWERS' HOT SPRINGS IS DEATH ! BEG FOR SALVATION, AND REPENT !! GOD REQUIEM !!

"Let the light of Heaven come down on the sinners... Karmic retribution... ARMAGGEDON !!"

Hans: GAAAAAAAHHH !! This power ! It can't be... The repulsive Goddess worshiped by the followers of the Axis Cult... IS YOUUUUUU ?!

*After defeating Hans... We went back and told the adventurers guild what we had done. Thwarting the plans of a general of the Demon King army earned us a lot of gratitude. That is, until the hot springs started coming up as nothing but pure water...*

Aqua: WHY ARE THEY ANGRY WITH ME ?! I worked my butt off to purify that water and save that town !!

"That has to be the first time I wholeheartedly agree with you..."

*When aqua did her last purification, she really went for it. Meaning the main mountain spring turned to simple, pure water, and also meaning she has single-handedly destroyed one of the town's biggest industries. We put Arcanletia behind us as fast as we could.*

Aqua: Why does this always happens to me... ?

Megumin: Let's just forget about it. The money from Hans's bounty went to helping the town anyway.

Darkness: yeah... plus we bought lots of souvenirs. I actually had a good time.

"That fight alone gave me about 10 level up, so that's fine. Maybe we should worry about Wiz, though. Being caught in Aqua's purification really did a number on her."

Kazuma: Yes ! We should worry !!

Aqua: ... Surely you can see that the trouble here was caused because my powers are too strong ! Even someone as dumb as Darkness or as crazy as Megumin should grasp that- OW ! OWIE ! LISTEN TO ME !!

Aqua: i'm saying, even two people as dense as you ought to understand by now, that I'm really the Goddess Aqua !!

Megumin: ... ... Kazuma. Next time, we need to pick a more effective Hot spring.

Darkness: Agreed. One that works on brains.

Aqua: PLEASE BELIEVE MEEEE !!

Priest: ... And that's what happened.

???: Goodness... So she purified every bath in town by herself, as well as the pollution inflicted by Hans's poison and the scattered pieces of his body. That work would have taken many talented Archpriests many moons of effort.

Priest: Yes, sir... ! And... C- Concerning her appearance... They say she had blue hair and eyes and wore a feather mantle... And that she was most beautiful !

???: ... There's no question.

Priest: the believers of this town, sir, should they... ?

???: They should be told, of course. But with great care. That honored personage may yet visit us again. Warn them, for her sake, not to mob her if she does so. Tell me, what is the current state of the purified main spring ?

Priest: Sir, it runs with pure water... However... People who bathe in the water are healed of their wounds, and it has the same effect on undead as holy water. Frankly, sir, it's far more effective than it ever was before.

???: I should imagine so. 'She purified it all with her power, after all. Some benefit of that is to be expected.'

Priest: It seems she was asked to pay a great deal of money in reparations... Amounting to the entire bounty of Hans's defeat.

???: That won't do. Truthfully, I ought to go thank her in person for saving our town... But I think it may be easier for her to return here if she believes no one has recognized her. I shall send a disciple to Axel to see that the money is returned in some form.

Priest: All shall proceed as you command... Zesta-sama.

Zesta: ... I never thought I would live to see this day. I feel like I might go mad with joy. To think the honored one visited upon her herself... !

Zesta: 'On behalf of the church, I offer up my deepest gratitude... Aqua-sama !"