" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: She's really hurt ! I'm gonna go cast heal on her right a-

"Kazuma, don't let her !"

Kazuma: Right, hold your horses !

Aqua: Gah- ! What's the big idea ?! We can't just leave her there ! I didn't think even you were such a monster !

Kazuma: Take it easy. My enemy detection skill is acting up. That's a monster in disguise.

Aqua: Huh ?

"Let just flip through my notes... Yeah, here it is... The 'Leisure girl'."

*Leisure Girl. This plant monster won't harm people physically... However, it'll give travelers a strong urge to protect it, luring them to its side. The temptation is hard to resist, and if you become emotionally attached, you'll be trapped until death. It's rumored that this monster possesses high intelligence, but that's still inconclusive. It might sound cruel, but any adventurer team that encounters this monster must exterminate it.*

Darkness: h- Hey, she looks like she's gonna cry ! Is she really a monster ?

"Oh trust me... I've been very thorough with these."

Kazuma: For once, I'm glad your habit of taking all these notes about monsters turns out to be useful.

Megumin: G- Guys... She's... Waving at us... Trying so hard not to cry...

"*As the monster will smile with relief when travelers stay by its side, it's hard to leave her. It'll show a crying face if you want to leave. The kinder you are, the more likely you'll be trapped by this monster, so please use caution.*"

Megumin: I... I just want to go give her a big hug !

Kazuma: Stop it, weren't you listening ?! That's exactly how it gets people !

Megumin: Well... But...

Darkness: I- I can't she may be a monster, but she's hurt !

Aqua: That's right ! It says she doesn't do direct damage, doesn't it ?

"Yeah... It's worse."

Aqua: It's okay now. I'm going to heal your wounds... ... Huh ? These aren't injuries... These bandages only look like bandages.

"Were you listening at all ? Ragged clothes, bloody bandages and little girl motif are all to lure people in."

"*Once you're trapped, it'll cling on to you, making it hard to get away. Also, when the traveler tries to leave because of hunger, the most dangerous thing this monster will do is pick the fruit it bears and offer it to the traveler. It tastes delicious and gives those who eat it a sense of being full... However, the fruit contains no nutrients, so whoever eats it will slowly wither away no matter how much they eat. The traveler will be stricken by their conscience when they see the girl cutting off and offering the fruits it bore itself. In the end, they won't even eat, and will die of undernourishment.*"

Darkness: W- Wow... She's more dangerous than a monster who outright attacks you. B- But even so...

Megumin: Th- This is my first time seeing a Leisure girl, but I know of them. And yet...

Girl: ... ... ... Will you... Stay with me... ?

Aqua: I- I'm here !! I'll stay with you forever !!

Megumin: So will I ! No one is going to abandon you !

Darkness: Y- You know, that fruit looks pretty good, could we have one or two pieces ?

Kazuma: ... These three are hopeless.

"And it's about to get worse if we don't leave. *Eating the fruits of the Leisure Girl for long periods of time will result in the danger signals sent by your body for hunger, fatigue, and pain being cut off. The fruits might contain something that affects the central nervous system. Hence, travelers will stay close to the girl and grow frail in a dream-like state. There have been many cases of old adventurers seeking a peaceful and painless death, hence the name 'Leisure Girl'. After that the monster will enroot itself on the body of the dead traveler, and use it as nutrients-*"

Kazuma: Stop here... ... ...

Aqua: Hey, what are you doing, you stupid NEET ?!

Kazuma: Outta my way ! Lemme go !!

Darkness: Y- Y- You would raise a hand against suck an innocent-looking monster ?! And just when I was thinking you had some kindness in you, Kazuma !

"That's the point. It's only 'Looking' innocent. We're tasked to exterminate it, or maybe you'd rather end up as fertilizer ?"

Girl: You'll... Kill me... ?

All: H- Huh ?

Girl: I'm sorry... It's because I'm alive, isn't it ? I'm a monster... I cause trouble, just by being alive... This is the first time... I've talked, to a human. And it looks like, it'll be the last as well. I'm glad it was you I talked to. If I ever get reincarnated... I hope I won't be a monster... In my next life.

Aqua: Thank goodness. It seems you so have a shred of humanity left.

Kazuma: Who knew she could talk ? That's no fair ! How could we kill her ?

"I'm still positive we should've uprooted her and put her somewhere else, where she wouldn't be a threat to anyone."

Aqua: I assumed you were hell-bent about setting fire to her earlier.

Kazuma: We really need to talk to you about the kind of person you think we are. I just hope we don't come to regret leaving that thing there, though.

Dark: What else could we do ? No one could lay a hand on her.

Kazuma: But what if she hurts some other passerby ? Some kind traveler who-

Kazuma: Sorry ! I just remembered some really important business ! You guys go on ahead !!

Aqua: Huh ? Kazuma, what are you doing ?!

"Hey, get back here ! Where are-"

Kazuma: Yunyun's behind us, and i'm sure she'll come the same way !

"O- Oh, I see... She's got no friends, is super lonely and way too considerate for her own good... if she meets the Leisure girl, she'll definitely fall for it..."

Kazuma: Exactly ! It might seem selfish, but I've got to ask that monster... Ask her to just ignore any red-eyed girls who come by ! Maybe I can reason with her. Get her to leave travelers alone entirely... I... I want to save them all !

Woodcutter: GAAAAAH, I'M SO SORRY ! FORGIVE MEEEE !! Argh ! I know if I find you, I'm supposed to get rid of you, but... Gah !! What to do ?!

Girl: I'm a monster... I cause trouble, just by being alive... If I ever get reincarnated... I hope I won't be a monster, in my next life...

Woodcutter: ... AHHH !! It's no good !! I just Can't do it !!

Girl: ... ... ... Aww. There goes another one. Today just ain't my day. That woodcutter looked so meaty, too. Lots of nutrients there, I'll bet. Hmph, I'll just have to wait for the next one.

Girl: ... Agh... Shit, I need food... It's cloudy, but I guess I'll have to settle for photosynthesis. Ugh... What a pain...

"... ... ... You need the experience points more, Kazuma."

Kazuma: Thanks.

Girl: ... ... Um... Could we pretend... That didn't happen... ?

"No."

Kazuma: Heeeey ! Check this out ! I gained three levels at once ! I bet that'll help when we get to the village !

"For fuck's sake, let us explain before doing that !"

Kazuma: Okay everyone, wake up !

"Hmgnnnnnn... Y'know, I don't mind you guys bonding, it's normal. But could you just not make all that noise ?"

Kazuma: Megumin said she'd stay up with me, but she fell asleep first.

"Yeah, honestly, that was a very sweet moment."

Megumin: Ugh... he got me back with the way he woke me up...

Darkness: R- Really ? And how was that ? Maybe I should stand guard Tonight...

Megumin: ... And I was going to thank you properly for coming along too...

Kazuma: huh ? You say something ?

Megumin: Not really.

"... Anyway, we've covered a lot of ground already, so let's just B-line it to the village at once... And, we're screwed."

Kazuma: ... Megumin, do we have to go through these fields to reach the village ?

Megumin: I'm afraid so. There's no way around it

Darkness: It'll be tough to hide from monsters in such a big, open field...

Kazuma: Yeah, too exposed for enemy detection or lurk to help us... In that case... We'll scout, you follow us. Take the bags.

Aqua: Huh ? What do you intend to do ?

Kazuma: One can stay high in the sky to watch, while I use second sight to see monsters long before we reach them.

"I see. And like that, if we happen to get in trouble, you can make a quick escape by hitching a ride with me. Good plan."

Kazuma: And you'll signal them if there's a problem, so watch close.

Aqua: I get the feeling you're too ready to run away... Oh well, good luck !

"Again, Okay, danger 3 O'clock ! Evasive maneuvers, everyone !"

Kazuma: Damn... the map was right, nothing but dangerous monsters here. Talk about out of our depth ! See it yet ?

"No sign of any kind of village, but... There's that thing up ahead... Only one..."

Kazuma: Okay come down. We need to take it out before more get here. The one minor monster that everyone knows by name from games and manga...

"Yep, no doubts about it, even from that far... It's an orc all right."

*Orcs. Bipedal monsters with pig-like features, in heat all year round. These highly fertile creatures can mate with almost any humanoid, so those they capture are in for a rough time, but... On their own, they aren't good fighters, so one-on-one battles are not difficult.*

"Furthermore, it's two-on-one here. Let's do this quick, before it has the chance to call for backup."

Kazuma: yeah. Doesn't even look like they have any weapon either. Hm ?

Kazuma: What are these morons shouting for ? they're gonna get us noticed by the other monsters.

"Uhhh... I don't really know... They do look quite in a panic... maybe they saw other monsters ?"

Kazuma: All the more reason to end this quickly. After all, orcs are always after ladies. You there ! Monster ! Nothing personal but you're gonna regret meeting us !

Orc: Welll, hellooooo there ! Ohhh, a couple of manly men just appeared~ ! Hey, wanna have a little fun with me ?

Kazuma: ... Uh... No thanks.

Orc: Oh ? Is that so, such a pity. I was hoping you would do it with me willingly.

"W- Willingly... K- Kazuma, I really think we should run, like they were telling us..."

Orc: Don't be so shy, i'll give you a taste of heaven on Earth. Though I must say, all the men who have been with me have really ended up in Heaven.

Kazuma: N- N- No, really, it's fine, thanks ! 'Y/n, take us out of here, now !'

"Y- You got that..."

Orc: No luck, eh ? But, how strange... You two don't really look that strong, but I sense powerful survival instincts in you. My intuition is rarely wrong... heh, I think we could have very strong children.

"Again with the children ?! Get away from us !"

orc: Come on, now, don't be shy... have a little fun with me~ !

Kazuma: DRAIN TOUCH MAX !!

*F-TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

"Haaaah... Haaaah... Haaaah..."

Kazuma: Th... That was close... Losing my innocence that way... Time to get outta here before any more orcs show up !

Megumin: Guys ! Are you okay ?

"Somehow... man, that was scary, though."

Kazuma: hey, if you're here, what's the point of us going ahead ?

Megumin: This is no time for stupid questions ! You knocked out an orc ! This whole field is Orc territory, they're going to keep coming after you !

Kazuma: Well, that's fine, isn't it ? Female orcs are one thing, but i'd hate to think if one of you fell into the clutches of a male orc...

"Darkness aside, since she'd pretty much enjoy it."

Megumin: There are no male orcs anymore.

"... Huh ?"

Megumin: They went extinct ages ago. Even when a male was born, the females would have their way with him, and he'd die before reaching maturity. Now the females try to mate with any species they can find, regardless of species... or consent. They've collected the strongest genes from every race, making them more like monsters than orcs at this point.

"... ... H- Heh... That's... Funny. It's what one would expect... B- But it's reversed... Hehe..."

Megumin: They capture any male who wanders into their territory and subject them to the worst abuses ! they're natural-born predators of men !

Darkness: H- Hold on ! I thought orcs were the sworn enemies of female knights ! You mean there are no more super-horny male orcs to immediately and relentlessly attack any woman they see ?!

Megumin: No, there aren't.

Darkness: ... ... ... ... Oh... ... ... ...

*Plom*

"There, there... Wait, why am I sympathizing with you ?! I'm in danger !"

Megumin: Maybe even more than you think... You guys just defeated a female orc, and orcs seek the most powerful genes available...

"My powers aren't hereditary !"

Megumin: Doesn't matter. They'll still come after you now.

Orc: To knock me senseless, what a catch ! I think I'm in love~ !

"... ... ... ... ... Any..."

Megumin: Run.

Kazuma: *Mute screeching*

Orcs: I won't let you get away ! I'm going to bear your child !! I'm calling dibs on the one with the white hair ! Me too ! C'mere, boys, and learn what real pleasure is !!

"... Gh... GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!"

Kazuma: Hey, don't run away alone !! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!

Orcs: I'm thinking a son first !! Then Sixty Sons and forty daughters !! And then, we can have a nice, white house by the sea where we can do it all day !!

Kazuma: What are you waiting for ! Blast them away !

*F-TWOOOOOOOOM*

"I'm trying ! There's too much, I can't follow !"

Orcs: I love it when they play hard to get !! But you're not getting away, darlings !!

"K- KAZUMAAAAAAAA !! GAH- !"

Orc: Okay, this won't take long, just close your eyes !!

"M- MEGUMIN !! EXPLOSION !! NOW !! AIM AT US, I DON'T CARE WHAT OR HOW, BUT HELP !!"

Megumin: I can't use it at this range !!

Kazuma: CAN WE TALK ?!LET'S TALK !!

Orc: Pillow talk ?! I'd love to !!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH !!"

Kazuma: STOOOOOOOOOP !! M- MAYBE WE SHOULD START WITH INTRODUCTIONS?! I'M SATOU KAZUMA !!

Orc: I'm Swatty the orc, a sweet 16 years old !!

"DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS !!"

Kazuma: MY BRAIN IS SHORT-CIRCUITING !!

Orcs: Now how about you introduce us to your friends down there ?!

Kazuma: BUT HE'S SHY !!

"Gh... Gh... !!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH !!"

*B-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM*

Kazuma: ... ... ... Ah ? What happened...

???: BOTTOMLESS SWAMP !!

Kazuma: Yunyun !!

Yunyun: My name is Yunyun !! Archwizard and wielder of advanced magic !! One of the top wizards of the Crimson Magic Clan, destined to be its chief... ! You ! Orcs who live near our village ! Out of neighborly kindness, I'll let you go today !

Kazuma: YUNYUUUUN !! That was so scary !! Thank you, thank you, Yunyun !!

*Both Kazuma and Y/n got psychologically scarred.*