" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Hyoizaburou: ... ... It seems you've been looking out for our daughter. For that, we thank you.

Kazuma: Right...

Yuiyui: We know all about you. We've read so much in our daughter's letter. Our daughter, who fell asleep as soon as she got home...

"Travel and Explosion tends to do that."

Komekko: Hahaha ! Higher, higher !

Hyoizaburou: Now... I'll ask again... What exactly is your relationship to my daughter ?

Kazuma: And I'll answer again, we're just friends.

Hyoizaburou: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!

Yuiyui: Dear, stop ! We don't have the money for any more tables this month !!

Hyoizaburou: Sorry, I got upset. Because you keep trying to pretend you're just friends !

Kazuma: I swear, I'm not pretending. 'I think it's time for a change of subject.' uh... This isn't much, but...

Hyoizaburou: Excuse me dear, but I think Kazuma-san was giving this to me...

Yuiyui: Goodness, sweetheart, "Kazuma-san" ? How very polite we are all of a sudden.

Hyoizaburou: i'm going to have this with my drink today.

Yuiyui: No you're not, it's going to be dinner.

Komekko: Hey, is this the kind of food that actually fills you up, instead of the watery rice porridge we usually eat ?!

Kazuma: ... It really isn't much...

Hyoizaburou: ... We're glad to have you here, Kazuma-san ! Have some of our best tea !

Yuiyui: Which is to say, our only tea.

Hyoizaburou: He seems like a man you can count on, doesn't he dear ?

Yuiyui: He certainly does. I hope we can count on him... Forever.

Hyoizaburou: Ahem... If you don't mind m saying, Kazuma-san, we heard you had a lot of debt...

Kazuma: Who me ?

Hyoizaburou: You seem nice, and I wouldn't oppose this match... But if you want to be with my daughter, at least pay off your debt first.

Kazuma: PPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !! WH- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "BE WITH" ? I told you, we're just friends !!

Yuiyui: Oh ? My daughter's letters gave the impression you two were quite close...

Kazuma: Okay, hang on. Can I ask what exactly was in those letters ?

Yuiyui: ... Well, for example... How you enjoy covering her in slime... How you bathe together... How, when she's napping on the couch, you crouch behind her and stare up her skirt... How, while carrying her after she's exhausted her magic, you say things like "Hey, you've grown up a bit, huh ?"... How, while feeding Chomusuke, you hold up a pair of panties and say "Get it ? These are what I want. You steal me some of these, and I'll give you some gourmet dinner"... And how her life is basically a constant stream of sexual harassment.

Hyoizaburou: But she says that even so, you're a precious friend to her, so we thought maybe...

Kazuma: I'm sorry. All I can say is... I'm sorry.

Hyoizaburou: So, do you still have a lot of debt ? We'd love to help our daughter's party, but we aren't the richest family around...

"I'm afraid that this report you got... is outdated. That debt has already been taken care of... When we defeated the second Demon King's general."

Kazuma: When we get back home, I've got a windfall waiting for me.

Hyoizaburou: Oh, really ? And how much might that be... ?

Kazuma: About three hundred million Eris.

Both: TH- THREE HUNDRED MILLION ?!

Hyoizaburou: Say, Kazuma-san, why not stay at our place tonight ? Feel free ! Heck, you could live here if you want ! Adventurers don't have home, do they ?

Yuiyui: They sure don't ! But there's not much space, so you can sleep with daddy and me tonight, okay, Komekko ?

Kazuma: it's okay. We've got our mansion back in Axel...

Both: MANSION ?!

Hyoizaburou: Right! When shall we have the ceremony, dear ?

Yuiyui: the sooner the better, I think. How about tomorrow ?

"N- Now, please calm down..."

Kazuma: Phew... Finally, some peace and quiet... Now I see where Megumin gets her weird streak. But... Maybe I shouldn't have talked about all my money and my huge house... Well, forget it. If we stay here a few days, I can repay them for it...

"... ... ..."

Kazuma: Oh ? Hey, what's up ? You look worried...

"Shhhhhh. Come here, and don't make a sound..."

Darkness: YOU WANT KAZUMA AND MEGUMIN TO SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM ?! That's ridiculous ! Would you have a sheep sleep with a caged animal ?!

Yuiyui: Now, now, are you sure nothing's ever... Happened between them ? My daughter is old enough to marry, and Kazuma-san seems to be a discerning adult... if anything had gone on, don't you suppose they both wanted it ?

Darkness: You're not listening to me...

Yuiyui: Hey, Darkness-san, why are you so against this ? Don't you like the idea of them sleeping together ?

Darkness: I- I mean, when you put it that way, you make it sound like I'm jealous...

Yuiyui: Oh, pardon me. Our house is just so small, Kazuma-san has to share a room with somebody.

Darkness: Why not Hyoizaburou-san, then ?

Kazuma: 'Ugh ! Hell no !'

Yuiyui: That's hardly sexy- Er, I mean, based on my daughter's letters, I'd still be a little concerned...

Kazuma: 'Hey, just what kind of person do you think I am ?'

'Desperate for getting laid, and a pervert at heart ?'

Kazuma: ... 'The truth can hurt so much when said like that...'

Yuiyui: Then, perhaps I should ask Y/n-san instead, and ask you to sleep with Kazuma-san...

Darkness: N- NO !! ... I- I mean...

Yuiyui: Sleep.

Yuiyui: Goodness, you'll all catch a cold sleeping here...

'I, uh... I'm not sure what kind of expression I should be showing right now...'

Yuiyui: Oh, Kazuma-san, Y/n-san. It's good to see you here.

Kazuma: Y- Yes, ma'am !

Yuiyui: Y/n-san, could you help me take Darkness-san to your room ? My husband, Komekko and I will sleep here, don't mind us.

"... ... ... ... She'd very much enjoy it..."

Yuiyui: What is it ?

"Nothing !"

Kazuma: Okay... Then tonight, I'll-

Yuiyui: Our house is so small, you see... Kindly share a room with Megumin.

Kazuma: ... I figured as much.

Yuiyui: It's okay, we're all very deep sleepers.

"Hey, nothing's going to happen, right ?"

Yuiyui: Of course not. And if it did, I'm sure Kazuma-san would take responsibility...

Kazuma: 'She must be crazy...'

'Stay strong, Kazuma. Don't give in to temptation !'

Yuiyui: Sleep well !

Kazuma: 'Huh ? Really ? Me, sleeping in the same bed as Megumin ?'

Yuiyui: Lock.

"And so he finds himself sharing a bed with Megumin... You really want grandkids, don't you ?"

Yuiyui: I want the best for my daughter. And as such, I ask you not to interfere.

"... There will be screaming tonight, just not the kind you may expect."

"Hm-hmm..."

Kazuma: Don't be silly ! How could I not do something now that we're finally alone ?!

Megumin: YOU IDIOT !! I SUSPECTED AS MUCH !! I'M GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT YUNYUN'S HOUSE !!

Kazuma: HAH ?!

Megumin: DEATH TO PERVEEEEEEEEERTS !!

"... I suspected as much."

Darkness: ... ... ... H- Huh... ? What was that ?

"Kazuma being a sex offender, don't think too much about it."

Darkness: Wh- Why are we sleeping in the same room ?!

"Megumin's mother being too much of a wingwoman for her daughter, don't think too much about it."

Darkness: ... ... Why is there a length of rope here... ?

"... You've been kicking around in your sleep, don't think too much about it."

Darkness: Hah ?!

"Well, that was quite the eventful night for all of us. Got anything planned today, beside dragging Slimezuma to court ?"

Aqua: Megumin, I'd like you to show me around town today. What are you going to do, Kazuma-san-who-tried-to-mess-with-Megumin-while-she-was-sleeping ?

Darkness: There's somewhere I want to go, you guys and Kazutrash enjoy yourselves.

Megumin: I see, just Y/n, Aqua and Kursedma, then.

Kazuma: hey, hang on a second ! Come on, be nice...

Megumin: If you treat me to something at the cafe, I'll consider it.

Kazuma: Fine. But then, we're square.

Aqua: Hey, I didn't really want to ask that, but... What was up with Darkness this night ?

"Did you know she kicks around a lot when she sleeps ?"

Aqua: I didn't...

"Conveniently, there was a length of rope in the room, but weirdly enough... She started squirming around way more after I started putting it to some use."

Aqua: ... You should watch out for that sadistic streak of yours, it's getting dangerous.

"... Pretty sure she doesn't mind."

Aqua: That's the dangerous part.

Megumin: So... Let me show you someplace special.

Kazuma: the hell ?

"That's... That's a figure of a cat-girl in a swimsuit, i'm pretty sure..."

Megumin: It's venerated in this village. Long ago, our ancestors saved a man being attacked by monsters. He gave this to them, saying it was a deity worth more to him than his life. We don't know exactly what deity it is, but we worship it here just in case it does any good. It's said the traveler also told us how to build this shrine.

Kazuma: I'm 100% sure that guy was Japanese.

"I'm 100% sure that guy was an Otaku with no friends."

Aqua: Hey, it ticks me off how this thing gets with the same respect I do...

Kazuma: Apologize to this clan for sending that idiot here.

Megumin: This is the Holy Sword, said to grant great power to whoever can draw it from that rock.

Kazuma: Whoa ! I knew there had to be cool stuff in this village ! Hey, can I try pulling it out ?

Megumin: Sure, but... It'll be a while before anyone succeeds, so you might want to wait.

"... What ?"

Megumin: The blacksmith made that to attract visitors. It's enchanted so only the 10,000th person will pull it out. Plus, you have to pay to try. It's only been there for four years, and only about a hundred people have tried.

"So this is the legendary scam sword, huh..."

Megumin: This is the wishing pond. It's said that if you offer an axe or a coin, you can summon the goddess of gold and silver.

Kazuma: Gee, I think I've heard that Fairy Tale before...

Megumin: No one knows how the story started, but even now, many people make such offering. Our dear blacksmith is kind enough to keep the pond clean by fishing out the offerings periodically.

"Pretty sure I can tell how that story started..."

Kazuma: And what are you doing ?

Aqua: Just going to grab those coins off the bottom. Hey, wanna hire me to be your goddess of the pond for a while ?

Megumin: Quit playing, and let's move on.

Megumin: In this underground facility is sealed "the Weapon that may very well destroy the world".

Kazuma: This seems a lot more dangerous than the other places you took us.

Megumin: Nobody knows how long this has been here, but it's said it was built alongside the mystery building.

"Mystery building... ?"

Megumin: Over there. Who built it ? When, and why ? All mysteries. Looking around inside didn't give any clues, so we call it the mystery building and leave it alone.

'... How the hell did a concrete mess end up in this world... ?'

Kazuma: So, a weapon that may very well destroy the world, huh ? That seal can't be easy to break if you magical experts set it up.

Aqua: hey Megumin, anywhere else around here where something amazing is waiting ?

Megumin: You just missed them. We used to have "The tomb of the sealed evil spirit" and "The place with the sealed unknown Goddess"... But with these two, the seals broke, and-

"So the seals around here aren't worst squat, noted. Is this so-called World-destroying weapon even safe ?"

Megumin: Y- Yes, it's fine. The seal on that building is a riddle written in ancient letters no one can read, and you have to enter the answer in order to break it... D- Don't look at me like that ! I swear it's okay ! A- Anyway, that's enough touring ! There's someplace I want to go !

Kazuma: ... I really think we're in trouble.

"All of this is giving me a weird feeling..."