" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Kazuma: hey, sorry we're late.

Adventurers: Hey, it's Lalatina ! Lalatina-chan, we're here ! Lalatina !! Lalatina !!

Kazuma: HRGH ! St- Stop it, Lalatina !!

Darkness: What's all this about ?! If this is some new way to harass me, I've got a few ideas of my own about...

"Not even. Is the idea of Kazuma being genuinely worried for you that strange ?"

Darkness: Huh ?

Kazuma: We asked everyone here to help us beat the Kowloon Hydra ! It's stupid, you coming out here by yourself to face it every day.

Undyne: Well, kiddo over here treated us to a lot of rounds recently, so what better way to repay him ?

Asgore: Beside, with the royal knights not coming, we have to do something about that hydra ourselves.

Papyrus: So the great Papyrus is here to do whatever it will take ! We're here for you !

Kazuma: When I told them about this dumb thing you were doing every day, they couldn't wait to help out. I know you can't help being a musclehead, but don't get us all so worried, 'kay ?

Darkness: ... Th- Thank you... Thank you all so m-

Aqua: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH ! KAZUMA-SAAAAAANN !! THE HYDRA WOKE UP A LOT QUICKER THAN LAST TIME !!

"THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AROUND FOR ?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL TO GO IN THERE !!"

Aqua: AW, BUT, BUT... I wanna get back home to Emperor Zel !!

Chara: ... ... ... And that dumbass is that so-called "Goddess" huh... ?

Frisk: Why does Eris-sama calls her Senpai... ?

"Whatever... General Kazuma, we're waiting for orders ! Don't let us down !"

Kazuma: God I love the ring to that... GOTTA ROLL WITH IT ! LET'S GO, EVERYONE ! THIEVES, YOU HAVE YOUR SPECIAL STEEL WIRE, RIGHT ? ARCHERS, GET THOSE HOOKED ARROWS READY TO GO !! TANKS, HOLD THE LINE AND KEEP THE BACK ROW SAFE ! WIZARDS, GET READY TO SLING THOSE SPELLS AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE ! THE BEST STUFF YOU'VE GOT, AND DON'T SKIMP ON THE MP !!

Megumin: LEAVE IT TO US ! THIS TIME I SHALL WIPE THAT HIDEOUS HYDRA OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET !!

Kazuma: And you two... Darkness, use your decoy ability to distract the hydra !

Darkness: Got it !

Kazuma: And you... Absolute bonkers ! Hit that thing as hard as you can !

"May I go absolutely over the top for that occasion ?"

Kazuma: I beg of you, please do !!

"You got that !"

Aqua: Hey Kazuma, how about me ? What am I supposed to do ?

Kazuma: You stay out of the way, Aqua !

Aqua: Aw, you suck !

Darkness: Hey !! I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU BIG OAF !!

Kazuma: Now ! Round 'em up !!

"No need to tell twice ! O, resting bones. O, wandering souls. Let the breath of life inhabit you once more this day. May your grudge on the living be my strength, as you rise above ground, to fight in my name !!"

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Greater summon... SKELETAL DRAGON !!"

*SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Kazuma: is the incantation necessary ?

"You told me to go over the top !!"

Adventurers: PERFECT ! NOW, EVERYBODY, PUUUUULL !!

Kazuma: Great ! Hold him down ! If we can't defeat him without draining his magic... I'LL JUST SUCK ALL THE MP RIGHT OUT OF HIM !! FULL-POWER DRAIN !!

Hydra: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!

Kazuma: HA HA HAAAA !! I FEEL IT ! I FEEL THE POWER !! I ALWAYS KNEW DRAGONS HAD TO HAVE GOBS OF MP... GUH- ?!

"KAZUMA !!"

Kazuma: 'Crap !! It's gonna crush me !!

Kazuma: D- darkness... Thanks... You really saved my skin...

Darkness: Hrgh... I told you to st- stay away from the hydra...

Kazuma: Man, you weren't kidding when you said the Dustiness have strength and endurance going for them...

Darkness: Forget it ! I can't hold this thing much longer... !

Kazuma: Hr... You have to ! Just keep holding it up ! Drain Touch !!

Darkness: You're... trying to initiate an endurance game here and now... ?

Kazuma: LAY OFF !! If you can talk, you can hold this thing up ! YOU'VE BEEN WHITTLING AWAY THE HYDRA'S MP BY FIGHTING IT EVERY DAY, RIGHT ?! IF YOU COLLAPSE NOW, ALL THAT WORK WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING !!

Keith: H- hey... Does the hydra seem a little weaker to you ?

Dust: Yeah, and we've got it pinned to boot !! So I'm gonna take the bounty of the Kowloon Hydra's heads ! The one who finishes it off gets the whole pot, after all !

Lynn: Hey, what are you talking about ? We don't have it pinned, we just have the heads tied up ! You can't let your-

*GLOMP*

Lynn: AHHH !! DUST !!

"... Before we rescue that moron, can someone cut off the head trapping Kazuma ?"

Chara: And what makes you think I'll listen to you ?!

"I have summoned a giant dragon that shoots lasers."

Papyrus: He has a point.

Chara: Gah, forget it ! Watch a true assassin at work ! GUILLOTINE !!

https://youtu.be/0kw1HzA3wgg

Kazuma: 'Hey ! It just got a lot lighter !' This is our chance to get out of here !

Lynn: THAT THING ATE DUST ! SOMEBODY, HELP HIM !!

Kazuma: Yunyun !! So you actually came, thank you !

Yunyun: W- Well, you personally invited me...

Undyne: ... Is he even alive ?

Lynn: I... I don't know...

"Uh ? Hey look ! The head isn't regenerating anymore ! That thing's out of MP !! ONE MORE PUSH !!"

Adventurers: It... It's trying to pull away ! Everyone, hold your ground !!

Kazuma: Sucker's trying to duck back into the lake ! Okay ! WIZARDS, GET READY !! ATTACK !! USE THE STRONGEST SPELLS YOU'VE GOT !!

"I've got one good arm left... AND THAT'S MORE THAN WHAT I NEED !! EAT SHIT, FUCKER !! THAT'S FOR LAST TIME !!"

*SCHBROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM*

Megumin: ... Heh.

Adventurers; HERE COME THE EXPLOSION !! EVERYONE, OUTTA THE WAY !!

Megumin: NOW I SHALL HAVE REVENGE FOR KAZUMA ! MAY IF BE A WORTHY OFFERING TO HIS SPIRIT IN HEAVEN...

Kazuma: I'm not in heaven, I'm right here...

Megumin: Admit it ! I won ! I blew away six of the Hydra's heads ! Whereas you, Yunyun, took out only two. Anyone with half a brain knows which of those numbers is higher !

Yunyun: But that's not fair ! You just stood there until the Hydra was on the ropes, Megumin ! I helped that guy who got eaten, that should count for something !

Megumin: You'd be lucky to get even a single point for helping out some punk who thought he'd take the whole reward for himself. You're a Crimson Magic Clan member. You of all people ought to know we always swoop in for the juiciest kills.

"What are they talking about... ?"

Kazuma: Phew ! That was touch and go, but we beat it. Not too many casualties either, good stuff.

"Both my arms are unusable now. I couldn't be happier."

Kazuma: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, and that's concerning...

Dust: heck, even we were able to play a part. Gotta say, though, without you and your party, Kazuma, it would never have happened !

Lynn: Yeah ! You really are something, Kazuma !

Undyne: Hell, we took out a hydra even the royal guard only ever managed to put to sleep ! I know we agreed to split the reward, but you guys should take the lion's share.

Papyrus: reward is not important, not more than the satisfaction of a work well done !

Chara: ... ... ... ...

Frisk: No, you can't have his share.

Chara: Gh...

Kazuma: Well then... REST UP TONIGHT, FOLKS, BECAUSE TOMORROW I'M USING MY LOOT TO THROW A PARTY FOR ALL US WINNERS !!

Adventurers: WAHOOO !! YES YES YES !!

"... So ? How are you feeling now that the Hydra's gone ? You'll stop being so on the edge about it ?"

Darkness: Oh... yes. This took care of a few things at once. In fact, I feel silly for worrying so much. But it's not because we defeated the Hydra.

"... Thinking of, you never told us why you were so keen on defeating that thing... So why are you relieved then ?"

Darkness: It made me realize all over again how much I like everyone in this town. And thanks to that, my hesitation is gone. I have nothing to fear anymore, and I have no regrets.

"... The more I think about it, the less what does and does not embarrass you makes sense..."

Darkness: Huh ? Hey ! I'm trying to be earnest here ! I'm... truly blessed...

"... May the gods bless this wonderful world..."

Aqua: Kazumaaaaaaa !! I didn't get anything to do this time !!

Kazuma: Oh. I guess you didn't.

"... Okay, maybe not all the gods..."

"... ... She's taking forever..."

Kazuma: man, what's the story ? let's just eat before it all goes cold.

Megumin: No ! We should wait until Darkness gets home !

Aqua: And here we got these luxurious crabs specially to celebrate defeating the Hydra.

Kazuma: 'I never got to eat mine last time... Lot happened.'

Megumin: I thought she was watching the house, and all of a sudden she's gone to tell Alderp about the hydra ? I wonder if she really had to hurry so much.

'... ... ... She's definitely been acting weird lately... She never drinks much, but at our party yesterday, she was rolling them under the table... And then all that stuff she's been saying lately...'

Aqua: Gah ! Is she coming home or what ?! I'm hungry !

Megumin: Dumb Darkness, making us sit and wait ! When she gets home, we should force her to sit and watch us eat first !

Kazuma: Hell, she's probably enjoy that. Gotta think of something really awful to get her back from making us wait so long...

Aqua: Huh ! Kazuma, what are you making ?

Kazuma: You oughta recognize this.

Aqua: Oh... Is that dynamite ?

Kazuma: Yeah, just a prototype. No gunpowder in it yet. I've been working on stuff like this, where I have a general idea of how to make it, but I haven't been able to get the materials. Vanir should buy it from me, knowing someone will come up with a substitute for nitroglycerin.

Aqua: I get it ! You're bringing technological modern weaponry into this world ! Kazuma... You scare me sometimes...

Megumin: Huh ? Kazuma, what's that thing Aqua's holding ? What's it for ?

Kazuma: Oh, this ? It's a replica of this thing called dynamite. It can do the same stuff as an explosion spell. Plus, it's a lot more practical, because you don't even need to be able to use magic to- AHHHH !!

Kazuma: Hey, I worked hard on that !

Megumin: As if I would let the ultimate spell be reduced to a mere parlor trick ! If you have time to create such ridiculous inventions, then go find Darkness !!

Megumin: ... ... It's been days. And now she sends this letter... Does she really mean to leave our party... ?

Kazuma: ... Well, so what if she does ? She's a big, important noble. She never should have had anything to do with a bunch of commoners like us.

Megumin: B- But... She just left without a word to any of us ! I never thought our friendship was so slight that it could be severed by a piece of paper !

Kazuma: ... Gh !

*I'm sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but it's complicated. Something I have to deal with as a noble. I won't be able to see you again. I know it's a lot to ask, but please consider me no longer a member of the party. Find some other frontline defender to replace me. I'm grateful to all of you, beyond words. I enjoyed our adventures. This has been the best time of my life. I promise I'll never forget the things we shared together.

Thank you for everything. Signed, Lalatina Ford Dustiness. To my beloved companions, with a most thankful heart.*

Megumin: Doesn't it bother you, Kazuma ?! Let's go get Darkness back !

Kazuma: ... ... Where's Y/n anyway ? He needs to read that.

Megumin: Oh, he already did. He read the thing and then... He, left...

Kazuma: he left ?!

Megumin: Yeah, like... he didn't say a thing, he just put on shoes and left through the door...

Kazuma: ... Well... if in a few days, we hear about a dozen manors burned to the ground, we know who did it...

"... ... Haaaaah... Back to the big city. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... On days like this-"

Dust: Hey, fancy meeting you all the way out there.

"... One day, I'll finish this line. Watcha doin' ?"

Dust: Well, ain't I glad you asked ! I need your help with something !

"Look, I know I played attorney for Kazuma's trial, but I can't get you out of your 62 sexual harassment complaints. You'll have to get a professional for that."

Dust: That's not what I... Well, okay, that was second on my list, but listen ! What i'm about to tell you is gonna turn your whole world upside down ! Just listen to this ! Lynn's got a guy friend !! Lynn ! Can you believe it ?!

"... ... ... Doesn't she has, like, three with you guys ?"

Dust: That's not what I meant ! We've known each other for ages, but she suddenly went out with some other guy ! But when I told Keith and Taylor, they were just like "Huh." unreal !

"... ... Huh."

Dust: Not you too ! Who could be cool with their precious party member going off with some guy from who knows where ? You'd worry if one of your female party members got dragged off by some guy, wouldn't you ?!

"... ... You have no idea, you don't know me."

Dust: I thought it was weird, because Lynn's been acting colder and colder toward me lately, so I started trailing her twenty-four seven, and then I saw her go into an inn with this guy I've never seen before !

"... You sure she isn't acting cold because you're doing that ?"

Dust: And that means ! This no-account rando has turned Lynn into his arm candy ! i'm worried about her, but I can't count on the others. Please, I beg of you ! Help me find out who this guy is !!

'... ... ... Why can't anyone in the world be normal... ?'

Dust: This' the place. That sick, manipulating bastard is in here with Lynn !

"Has the thought her actually enjoys someone else's company never crossed your mind ?"

Dust: Come on, if Aqua, Megumin or even Darkness suddenly showed up with a guy, you'd want to dig up any dirt on him !

"... ... What is the plan now ? We're not just gonna waltz in here, are we ?"

Dust: Hey, who do you take me for ? You don't last in this gig if you're not constantly prepared, am I right ? I know exactly which room the guy's staying in. rented the one next door.

'It's terrifying how effective you'd be if you were to put this much efforts into being an adventurer...'

Dust: C'mon, this way and stay quiet. Lynn might already be next door. She's got sharp ears, careful she doesn't hear you.

'... No way in hell I tell this guy I have seekers.'

Lynn: I know, but... If having me do it would...

Guy: Miss Lynn, I know what i'm asking isn't easy, but I can't help the love I feel !

Lynn: C- Calm down ! You... You need to think this through... Nobles don't get involved with adventurers. That would be trouble enough...

'So mystery man's a noble, huh... fell head over heels for an adventurer.'

Noble: Miss Lynn ! I'm painfully aware that our difference in status might make my feelings impossible to accept. And I know there are even greater obstacles to contend with. But at least... At least use this magic camera to make a picture !!

Lynn: I said, c- c- c- calm down ! Let's be rational !

'Thing looks clear enough. At least he's not using his status to force her to do anything, and he wants a picture to remember her... Honestly, that's pretty cute.'

Noble: Just one shot ! Please, miss Lynn ! If possible, the sexiest shot you can manage !

Lynn: Please calm down !

'... Forget I said anything...'

Dust: ... ... I think I'll go kick his ass.

"Hold it right there."

Lynn: Look, just relax ! Chill out ! H- How about we go downstairs and get something to eat ? To calm our nerves, okay ?

Dust: he's a rat, just like I thought. Well... Nice of him to vacate his room for us.

Dust: Look at that ! And just look at these ! he's nobility, all right !

"I'm an accomplice... I'm an accomplice on what will probably be your 63rd sexual harassment... I need to stop hanging around you or bad stuff will happen."

Dust: Let's see what else this pampered brat's got lying around... Look at this ! Lacy red lingerie !!

"... ... So the dude got weird kinks, your point ?"

Dust: isn't it obvious ? he's gonna make Lynn wear this for his photo ! he's thought of everything, the pervert ! Gah ! I can't take it anymore ! I'll show him what I think of stuff like this !!

"... ... Between you and Kazuma, I can't tell which one has the weirdest obsession with panties..."

Dust: Okay, now grab that expensive-looking magic camera thing and start snapping ! We'll fill up his film with racy pictures of me. It'll traumatize him for life !

"... ... ... ... ... ..."

Dust: Well ? C'mon, hurry up !

"... You have no idea of what you just unleashed."

Dust: What ?

"... My, darling, aren't you just be-YEW-Tiful ! Come on, hold that pose for me, dear !"

Dust: Ahaha ! Looks like I flipped that switch ! A'right ! let's leave posterity record of my hunktacular bod !!

"Gorgeous ! Exquisite ! Spectacular ! And-"

"... ... ... ... He made me do it."

Dust: WHAT ?!

Lynn: By all means, explain this to me. I expect this sort of thing from an idiot like Dust. Kazuma doing it would be that surprising. But someone like you ?

"Uhhh... Let's say I got carried away... A lot... I have no excuses..."

Lynn: You know what ? Don't tell me. I don't want to now. My bad for worrying about you. Okay, he's all yours, I don't even care anymore.

Noble: Oh...

Dust: Huh ?

Lynn: Come on, let's split.

"Huh... Something tells me things are about to get interesting, somehow."

Lynn: That's the point. I don't care what happens to him anymore.

*Slam*

Noble: ... D- Dust sir... I never expected you to appear in my room in such a state...

Dust: Huh ? Yeah, I busted in. What are you gonna do, cry about it ?

Noble: O- Obviously, I'm not going to complain, Dust sir. Oh... This is so... exciting ! Miss Lynn told me to give up, but here you are... Thank the goddess I joined the Axis Church and kept praying and praying !

Dust: Buh ? I don't know what you're so thrilled about, but if you think I'm intimidated just because you're nobility, you're wrong. We're just two guys here, no more, no less, we clear on that ?

Noble: Y- You mean you won't pay any heed to my status ?! That here, we are simply two men ?!

Dust: Huh ?!

Noble: Ahh... Ahhh ! Oh, frabjous day ! I thank thee for this blessed moment... Aqua-sama !

Lynn: Hahahahahaha ! You... You morons ! You're the most wonderfully dumb !

"just so you know, I was well on the way for an entire photoshoot to completely fill this camera. But... Don't you think we should go back before Dust does something worse than sexual harassment ?"

Lynn: Oh, I don't know. He might be the top, a switch, or the bottom. I tried, I really tried. But that idiot went and showed up there looking like that... he's like a lobster who throws himself into the pot and closes the lid ! there's nothing else I can do for him.

"... ... i'm... I'm afraid I understand... So from the very beginning, that noble..."

Lynn: Was in love with Dust, yes. But he didn't know what to do, and asked me for advice. I told him it wasn't likely to work out, but he said they didn't have to get married or anything. He just wished he could at least get Dust's picture. And that's right when you two-

Dust: EEEYAAAAARRRRGGGGH !!

"... ... ... Glad to help by being a wingman. But speaking of nobles, I still need to find darkness."

Lynn: Oh, Lalatina-chan ?

"yeah, she just disappeared, so..."

Lynn: What do you mean ? Everyone in town is talking about her. How she's the daughter of the Dustiness household... And she going to marry governor Alderp any day now.

"... ... ... Details. Now."