" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Luna: I apologize for gathering everyone on such a short notice ! i'm sure everyone knows that the emergency is because of the cabbages ! it's time to harvest cabbages ! The quality's great this year and each one's worth 10,000 Eris (94$) ! We've already evacuated the residents so please harvest more cabbages and turn them in here ! Please take care of your own safety and don't get hurt from the cabbages' counterattack ! Also, because of the large amount of people and bounty, the reward will be given out later !

Undyne: Where are they ?!

Papyrus: I... I think I see them !! They're coming !

"i'm still quite confused about all of this..."

Aqua: The cabbages in this world can fly. When their taste ripens during harvest season, they fly through cities, over plains, across the continent and to the ocean, unwilling to be eaten. Because of that, we need to catch the cabbages and eat them while they're still delicious.

Kazuma: May I go back to the stables and sleep ?

Undyne: Come on, kid, it'll be fun !!

Papyrus: They're coming !!

Asgore: We should probably think of a strategy first, instead of rushing-

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE !!!!"

Kazuma: Oh, you've got to be kidding me...

Undyne: I like this one's spirit !! Let's go !!

Kazuma: ... What grave sin did I commit to fight to the death with cabbages here ? I want to go back to japan...

"*Munch munch munch*"

Kazuma: Why does a mere cabbage taste so good ? I don't get it.

"Well, I certainly ain't complaining. After all, with how much of these we caught, not taking advantage would be missing something. It was so profitable even you joined the fun in the end, Kazuma."

Kazuma: You call that fun ? We didn't came here to fight cabbages, seriously !

Undyne: *Munch* That said, I'm kinda impressed. Despite your personal... "Flaws", you all have skills to be proud of. You over there, just as expected of a crusader, the cabbage couldn't break through your iron-wall defense no matter what ! That was impressive !

"Yeah, if we forget the constant moaning, that is..."

Darkness: N- No, I didn't do much, I'm just really tough. i'm clumsy and slow so I can't really hit my target; my only strong point is shielding other...

"Speaking of, if you can't hit anything, why do you keep that two-handed sword ? Wouldn't it be better to take a one-handed plus a shield ?"

Darkness: But like that... I wouldn't be able to feel the hits as much...

Kazuma: Figured.

Papyrus: But, the one with the most impressive fire power is without any contest that young Archwizard ! She took out the horde of monsters that were chasing the cabbages right into town with just one explosion attack ! All the other adventurers were shocked !

"Good thing one of you had fire magic, or else I prefer not to think about what would've happen with the fires..."

Asgore: I- It's nothing worth boasting about, really... We just each chose a different magic so we could have more versatility as a group...

"Speaking of, I was kinda surprised that all three of you use the same kind of weapon. Trident, spear and bo-staff, you guys just decimated these vegetables like they were nothing but... Well, you get it."

Megumin: Fufu, no one can stand up to the power of my explosion magic... But Kazuma was more active, he picked me up after I exhausted my mana and carried me back.

Kazuma: Speaking of being active, why the hell did you run on front of everyone ! You know you're not suited for being a vanguard !!

Papyrus: It worked in the end, he got the highest kill count out of everyone. I mean, just think about how cool it was ! He was like "I got this" and three seconds later, all the cabbages were frozen in midair ! And then he was all "You are no match for me" and then BOOM ! All down in one go !!

"All I did was incapacitate them. If you want to praise someone, praise Kazuma, who captured them. Erasing your presence with 'lurk', grasping the very presence of the cabbage with 'Enemy detection' and finally capturing them all in one go with 'Steal'. Done like an outstanding assassin."

Aqua: Kazuma, with my authority, I grant you the title of "Elegant cabbage thief".

Kazuma: Shut up ! I'll slap you if you call me that ! Why'd things turn out this way ?!

"It could be worse."

Darkness: Well then, I'm Darkness, a crusader. Theoretically, my weapon's a two-handed sword, but like I said, don't count on it too much. I'm clumsy with my hands and tend to miss. But I'm good at being a tank, so please take care of me.

'... I should really learn to shut my mouth for once.'

Aqua: Humph. Our party's becoming great. I'm an Archpriest, Megumin's an Archwizard, and now we have the defensive specialist vanguard, the Crusader Darkness. Three out of five members having top-tier classes is rare, guys ! I hope you two realize how lucky you are, you better be grateful.

"... A mage that can only use one spell a day, a vanguard who can't hit the enemy and is a drooling masochist above all, and a cleric literally dumb as a brick, out of luck and ultimately useless..."

Undyne: Pfrrrrrr... Your party's looking great, kid.

Darkness: yes, please, continue to badmouth me... It reminds me of that feeling, being ravaged by cabbages and monsters... this is unbearable... i'm the only orthodox vanguard in this party, so don't hold back. Use me as a bait or as a shield, or even better, just cut me off as a sacrifice... Hmmm ! Just, just imagining that made me tremble in excitement... !

Papyrus: What is she talking about ?

Y/n/Undyne: Don't listen to her, Paps.

Darkness: W-Well then, I'll probably... No, I'll certainly be a bother to you, so don't hold back and lecture me viciously. Please take care of me from now on.

'An Archpriest that could use all sorts of healing spells, an Archwizard that could use the strongest offensive spell, and a Crusader with an iron-wall like defense...'

Kazuma: 'Sounds like a perfect formation at first, but...'

Both: 'I can feel a whooooole lot of problems coming up to us in the future.'

"Another day, another uneventful adventure."

Kazuma: We just went to the market to buy some gear and supplies, this isn't an adventure.

Aqua: Why did I had to tag along with you ?

"You had anything better to do ? And before you ask, spending the day stuffing your face and drowning in booze doesn't count."

Aqua: Then why did you tag along ?! You don't need weapons to fight !!

"... Do you remember the other day, when that swarm of little birds attacked you ? Now replace them with flying knives, and add me in the background, laughing."

Kazuma: Scary... But I've finally got a more decent weapon, and some armor, at least.

Darkness: It's you guys ? Whoa, Kazuma, I almost couldn't recognize you.

Megumin: You finally looks the part of a real adventurer.

"Well then, shall we usher that new gear of yours ?"

Darkness: It's the giant frogs' mating season, and they've been showing up near town. How about-

All: NOT THE FROGS !!

Darkness: ... Why not ? They fear blades and are easy to take down, their sole mode of attack's grabbing prey with their tongues, and their meat can be sold for easy money. I've heard that since you might get eaten if your equipment's too weak, but since frogs hate metal, Kazuma should be safe with his current equipment. I'll protect the rest of you guys.

"Stop that acting already, it's clear that all you want is to try that whole 'eat'n slime' stuff. You just want to be eaten head first in one gulp and covered in slime, am I wrong ?"

Darkness: Eaten head first in one gulp... Covered in slime... Hmmmm~...

"Stop it ! Stop getting excited ! And don't even think about hunting frogs alone while we aren't looking !"

Kazuma: Well, the emergency cabbage hunt aside, this is our party's first quest, so let's pick something easy to complete.

Aqua: What an introverted shut-in NEET... You have the weakest job, so I understand why you're being cautious, but including me, most of our party members have top-tier classes ! We should take on a bunch of high-difficulty jobs and make lots of money, level up like crazy and take down the Demon King easily ! That's why we should take on difficult quests-

"F R O G S"

Aqua: EEEEEEEEEEK !!

Kazuma: You know... You haven't been of use so far. Normally, you should be giving us powerful abilities or equipment, allowing for us to live here without worries. I know that this is a free service provided by the gods, so I didn't want to complain. I was blinded by rage back then, but choosing you instead of an ability was my fault ! But you're here in place of those abilities or equipment, and are you performing on par with those special abilities or equipment ? Are you ? Y/n, is she ?

"Want me to bring out the tab she's been accumulating at the tavern ?"

Kazuma: What tab ?!

"Thing is, most of what we earn is used to pay off her drinking debts. I though you were aware of that."

Kazuma: You ! You good-for-nothing former goddess !!

Aqua: Owowowowowow !! Not former ! I'm still a goddess !!

Kazuma: Oh yeah, you're a goddess ?! Then shouldn't you be doing goddess things ?! Like guiding the heroes to fight the demon king, or sealing him before the heroes' strong enough to take him on ?! What did you do during the cabbage hunt ?! You were spinning around because of them and threw a tantrum on the floor !!

Aqua: I-I still caught a lot toward the end...

Kazuma: Even vegetables can make you cry !! And you have the nerve to call yourself a goddess ?! All you've done so far is getting yourself eaten by a frog and wasting your skill points on party tricks !!

Aqua: ... W... WAAAAAAAAHHH !!!

"... A little bit too harsh, perhaps... ? I mean, that was the truth, but surely lack tact."

Aqua: I- I'm useful, all right ?! Like healing spells and healing spells or healing spells ! You're just a shut-in NEET ! If you continue to play around, how long do you think it'll take to defeat the demon king ? If you've got something to say, spit it out !!

"The number one rule when you're the healer, is to try to not be the first one to go down..."

Kazuma: i'm a professional gamer who didn't go to highschool at all, you think I have nothing to say about this situation ?

"You were a pro gamer ?"

Kazuma: It sounds better this way, so listen. I don't have any special protagonist power, Y/n does. What I do have, however, is the knowledge of Japan. So I want to sell Japanese products that can be created easily and aren't available in this world. Think about it, my luck stat's so high that even the counter lady suggested that I should become a merchant, right ? So I think I shouldn't force myself to take on the work of adventurers, but find another way.

"I see your point. It'll be easier to gain experience points if we have more money. After all, there are ingredients that make you stronger just by being eaten, like those cabbages."

Kazuma: That's how it is, so think about it too ! Think of a business that can earn cash easily, and teach me your only good point which is healing magic ! I want to learn healing spells after getting more skill points !

Aqua: NOOOOooooo... ! I won't teach you healing magic ! No way ! Don't snatch away the reason for my existence ! You'll be fine without learning it with me around ! No, I don't want to !!

Megumin: What are you doing... ? The attack power of Kazuma's words are strong. If you don't hold back and shoot your mouth off, most girls would cry !

Darkness: If you accumulate too much stress... I could take Aqua's place and endure your scolding, so lecture me all you want. Don't hold back... As a Crusader, suffering for others is a merit.

"I'm gonna ignore that last one. But what about it, should we try choosing a quest that could help Aqua level up ?"

Darkness: It'll be hard... Clerics lack offensive spells after all. They won't fight on the front lines like warriors or defeat enemies with powerful magic, so the best creatures for them to grind are the undead."

"I think I've heard something like that before... Healing spells does damage on undead, right ?"

Kazuma: Exactly. i'm surprised you'd know that much.

"I'm glad I found a library in that town. Then, something about cleaning up undead monsters ?"

Kazuma: yes, that seems great. The problem is that Darkness's armor has been broken by the cabbages' attack, and it isn't ready yet...

Darkness: i'm fine even without it, my full set of defensive skills aren't just for show. Even without armor, I dare say that I'm harder than an adamantoise. And it feels better without armor when I get hit.

"Like I said, gonna ignore that last one."

Kazuma: hey, Aqua, how long are you going to cry . Participate in the conversation, it's your level we're talking about...

Aqua: ... ... *Snore*

"... I'm waking her up."

Kazuma: NO, WAIT-

https://youtu.be/T8Eu15L3mdE