" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

*Alderp has been missing for... Some unknown reasons, and his deeds has been exposed. In the end, all his assets were confiscated and transferred to the new Landlord house, house Dustiness. His son, unrelated to his crimes, was also helping. Darkness was also supposed to help, but because of a certain nickname, she shut herself in her home and refused to come out. But most important than all of this...*

Vanir: Everyone, humans area species capable of conversation. let's talk this through !

*The show never ends around these parts*

Aqua: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Wiz: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Darkness: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Aqua: You're the one who profited most from that disturbance, right ? It's so good to be able to buy the rights to various products from Kazuma so cheaply... I heard about it. You resold Kazuma's product rights at a high price and earned a huge profit. You're so clever, so there must've been other solutions beside such indirect ones. Tell us the truth.

Wiz: Vanir-san. What've you been doing behind my back ? You resold the product rights you got cheaply from Kazuma-san ? Unbelievable... ! Ah, what should I do ? To think that money in the vault came from blackmailing Kazuma-san... ! I want to return it, but the money's already... !

Kazuma: ... ... What's happening here ?

"A cruel lack of popcorn for me to enjoy, that's what. Also, do you truly need to ask when both Vanir and Aqua are involved ?"

Kazuma: I'd still like to know why the former is cuffed on the ground like that...

Vanir: Calm down, gangster girl and destitute shop owner. Although there are other ways to solve this... Problem... ? Wait. Thou disaster of a shop owner, what did thou just say ? What happened to the money I left in the vault ? That isn't an amount that can be spent so easily !

Wiz: About that, praise me, Vanir-san. Actually, while I was tending the shop, a regular patron of mine brought a lot of manatites. He said he'd sell them to me at half price, so I used all the money in the vault to buy them ! I really bought some good stuff this time ! Based on my evaluation, those were definitely high grade manatites !

"Manatites... One-use item to restore mana."

Kazuma: Only usable once, and way too expensive to be in demand in this town.

"Too bad. If she tried to sell them to the Crimson clan she'd make a ton of cash."

Kazuma: Forget it. I didn't think you'd do that much, but I'll ask you this. According to Aqua, Darkness' father was under a devil's curse... And you're the only devil in this city.

Vanir: Hahaha. I would never use a curse that would kill the victim ! The one who placed the curse was an Arch-devil with strange mannerisms and a screw loose in the head.

Aqua: isn't that juts you ?!

Vanir: W- Wait, wait ! Dost thou think that a gentleman like me would be a broken devil with strange mannerisms ? Come on, let's be reasonable ! I admit that I did a lot of circuitous matters this time. I'll admit that things developed so I could taste the negative emotions of the landlord after his bride was snatched away. But I wish thou will listen to my explanation. Especially thou, who's been staring at me since earlier, who developed strong feelings for that guy over there after this incident, and changed all the clothes thou wears in the house to thin, flimsy material...

Darkness: AHHH !! REVENGE FOR KILLING MY FATHER !!

Vanir: Hey, don't break my mask ! Don't intentionally break my mask ! And your father's not dead !

Megumin: ... Kazuma. It seems Vanir's confirmed to be the mastermind behind the incident. I think I can go outside the city for my daily Explosion now. Kazuma, if you don't mind, could you come with me ?

Kazuma: Fine. This doesn't seem like it'll end soon anyway, so I'll go with you. They should've calmed down when we return. Can I trust you with cleaning up the possible fallout ?

"I'll probably be the cause of that fallout anyway. Go nuke a hill in peace."

Vanir: Stop ! Stop I say ! It wasn't me !

Aqua: Then prove it !

Vanir: I can ! I have an eyewitness ! Tell them, you who finally embraced his sadistic while dealing with that landlord !

"... The hell you talking about ? I was cleaning up the dungeon you're planning on using."

Vanir: AH ?!

Darkness: I knew it !!

Vanir: T- Traitoooooooooor !!

"... Mmm, such negative vibes, delicious."

Vanir: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !!

"Ahahahahaha !! No, but seriously, it wasn't him. It was another devil under contract by Alderp."

Aqua: Ah ?

Vanir: Gh- Grrrrgkh ! Ack... !!

"So, uh... You can let go of his throat. Even so he clearly made it so things would go his way and turn to his advantage, it was thanks to him Alderp is now gone."

Wiz: ... ... How do you know all of that ?

"Uhhh... I may... Or might not... That's in the realm of possibilities that I could have... Possibly... Eventually... Hypothetically..."

Aqua: Get to the point !!

"I spent the whole week-end torturing the landlord to death before he was dragged down to hell by the very devil he summoned !"

Darkness: ... ... ... ... Oh...

Megumin: Kazuma. Did you say something when I was casting Explosion magic ? I didn't hear anything because of the explosion, but I felt you were saying something important.

Kazuma: Nothing ! I feel nothing about Megumin !

Megumin: What are you annoyed about ? You're even being coy. You should keep such bad tempers in check. When we get back home, I'll give you one extra pudding that I bought last time.

Kazuma: ... I'll forgive you if you give me two more.

Megumin: I can't give you two more. Including everyone else's share, there's only one extra. If you get two more, someone will have nothing to eat...

Kazuma: ... ... ... I'll regret asking, Y/n, but... The hell is happening ?

"Pffrr... long answer or short answer ?"

Aqua: Give it back ! Come on, give it back ! Give my cute Emperor Zel back to me ! Wah ! Give it back !!

Vanir: Hahaha ! You deserve it, you cuckolded goddess ! Your precious pet... hahaha... Damn it, hey ! Go away, bird ! Go back to your owner !

*Chirp chirp*

Kazuma: I need answers...

"Well, uh... I present to you, the one and only... Emperor Zel. Currently mistaking Vanir for his Imperial mother. As for why Darkness is on the floor and Wiz on the verge of disappearing..."

Aqua/Vanir: IT WAS THIS PERSON !!

Kazuma: ... Aqua's magic wouldn't hurt Darkness, and Vanir's attacks wouldn't cause Wiz to vanish...

Aqua: Listen to me ! Listen to me, Kazuma ! When we were interrogating this weird masked guy, he suddenly attacked us ! He even shouted his Vanir-style whatever ! I deflected it with magic, but it hit Darkness and it collapsed ! I counter-attacked with purification magic, then this guy used Wiz as a shield and caused her to nearly vanish ! When I decided to destroy this guy... !

Kazuma: I see... I don't get it.

Vanir: Hahaha ! Thou only mention the things beneficial to thyself, ye insidious woman ! This woman, along with that muscle woman and that traitorous shop owner, declared the innocent me to be guilty, despite the testimony ! I couldn't possibly accept a judgement without a lawyer, so I acted in self-defense by attacking with my Vanir-style death ray. Then, this fellow reflected the ray to that muscle woman, before using magic in revenge ! I promptly used the shop owner as a a shield to ensure my safety ! When I decided to settle it all at once...

Both: Emperor Zel was born !!

Kazuma: Indeed... I don't get it at all.

*Kingsford Zeldman. The one chosen by the water goddess out of a clutch of eggs was basically a normal chick*

Vanir: The name isn't bad. It's a name full of majesty, no wonder it wants to stay close to me.

Aqua: of course it's good. Who do you think gave its name ? It's unacceptable for it to be close to you, but this kid was chosen by a goddess like me. It's destined to become the Emperor of dragons.

"... ... The blissful innocence and ignorance of the newly hatched, unfazed by the presence of both the devil and the goddess bickering over him..."

Kazuma: That's still just a regular chicken, right ? What should we do about it ? How about fried chicken ?

"With this size, I doubt it'd be very filling..."

Aqua: No way ! Kazuma , you're inhuman ! Sometimes, I feel that this masked devil has more humanity than you !

Vanir: Don't be rude, cuckolded goddess. This man's evil is unmatched in Axel, since the disappearance of the evil landlord. Don't compare him to the likes of myself, who's popular for patrolling the area when children go home to school.

Kazuma: ... Can I cry ?

"Go ahead, go ahead..."

Megumin: ... Why's a newborn so cute ? Is its cuteness a defense mechanism against predators ?

Aqua: In any case, you devil's hindering Emperor Zel's education, so get lost. I'll let this kid receive but the most elite of education... Look at Megumin's decadent expression as she looks at Emperor Zel, she's totally seduced. Emperor Zel's born a lady killer. It's said that beautiful women are weak against a heroic male, so his future's bright.

Vanir: Hmph. No need for ye to say. I will be leaving anyway. After all, the money I earned has all been turned to rocks by that liability of a shop owner. Well then, goodbye humans, please patronage Wiz's magic tool shop again when thou has saved some money.

"... Can it be called Wiz's shop when she's on the verge of going poof ?"

Vanir: Right. Sorry, but can thou give me some sugared water ? Left alone like that, this undead lich will become a dead lich. Let her regain some nutrients, give her some sugared water and shell revive like a bug.

Megumin: Ah ! What is it, Emperor Zel ?!

*Chirp chirp*

Vanir: Hmm... ?

"... Well, looks like its really mistaking you for its mother..."

Aqua: Wah ! Emperor Zel's been stolen ! Kazuma ! Kazuma !

Kazuma: yes, i'm Kazuma.

Aqua: Please, destroy this masked devil and return Emperor Zel to me !

Kazuma: No. Why should I do it ? You're capable of dealing with Vanir. Anyways, it's just a chicken, not a dragon. Why can't you accept it ?

Aqua: If I destroy the masked devil, Emperor Zel who's close to him will hate me... Maybe the blind Kazuma can't distinguish it, but this kid's a rare breed of dragon with fur, the shaggy dragon.

"I get that you don't want to admit you got swindled, but can you just stop coping so hard ? This is definitely a regular chicken."

Kazuma: Hey, Darkness isn't showing any signs of recovery. Is this a problem ?

Vanir: Well, her wound should be healed by the goddess over there. But it's amazing to still be alive after receiving my Vanir-style death ray. True to its name, the ray kills anyone it hits. I want to know why she isn't dead yet. Perhaps her magic resistance's ridiculously high... But this incident will hurt my reputation as a harmless person. After that woman wakes up, ask her for me "How thick are thy muscles ?"

Kazuma: Now you're asking us to die. Better question yet, what do we do about that... Thing... ?

Vanir: Well, it can't be helped to fall in love with me who art an idol in the eyes of women. But the difference in species between birds and devils is simply too great. Although I feel sorry for emperor Zel, he just has to give up on me.

'Did... Did I really just hear Vanir calmly explain why he wouldn't bang a chicken... ?'

Vanir: I do not like the thoughts you're having about me, dear associate.

"Right. But I do not think it's the same love you're talking about. It just sees you as its mother, once again."

Vanir: ... It can't be helped then. Where is Emperor Zel's nest ?

Kazuma: please, don't make the sofa into a nest...

Vanir: ... Shred !!

Kazuma: Oh god... One was enough, but now there's two of them ?!

"This is getting out of hand. Now there are-"

Kazuma: Don't. Don't you dare.

Vanir: Then, I will be leaving.

"... I pride myself into being familiar with the creatures of this world by now... And out of all them, you're by far the wackiest."