" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: Kazuma, how much longer are you going to sleep ? Are you dressed? You're not doing anything weird, right ? I'm coming in ! ... Why's it so cold ?

Kazuma: Hey, stop shouting in the morning. Close the door or the cold air will escape.

Aqua: I keep saying every time, it's noon already. And why is the room so cold ? Is the Winter Shogun in your closet ? Our house already has Chomusuke and Emperor zel, we don't need another pet, okay ?

Kazuma: Why would I keep such a dangerous thing as a pet ?! Look at the corners of the room. There are buckets in every corner, right ? there's ice inside them.

Aqua: ... Where did you get ice in the hot summer ? I want some ice to help me sleep at night too.

Kazuma: Remember when Wiz said that she bought a lot of high grade manatite ? I had an idea. Using the power of money, I bought the manatite cheaply in bulk, then used freeze to create a lot of ice. This makes the room really cool even in the summer so I can daydream under my blanket. There are few things more enjoyable than this.

Aqua: ... Kazuma, your ability to waste money and magic's unsurpassed... Say, tonight will probably be hot too. Can you make some ice for me as well ?

Kazuma: Sure, but why are you here now ? Aren't you going to the Axis Cult church today ?

Aqua: Kazuma's never been loved, so you probably don't know this feeling. But isn't it a bit embarrassing to ask my worshipers to host a celebration to praise myself ? So I hope that someone will accompany me and insinuate them to host the event.

Kazuma: You dare to say that to me, who's been popular among single female adventurers and receptionists after I made a ton of money ? You never cared about the mod and did whatever you pleased, so why are you getting so bothered about it now ? I already said that I won't be helping yesterday, I don't want to have anything to do with Axis Cultists. You should ask Megumin or Darkness instead.

Aqua: I begged darkness many times, but she says she's busy with lordship duties. Megumin says she's meeting someone today, so she can't play with me... ... ... ... And-

Kazuma: Pretty sure you don't want Y/n's help after he vented everything out last time.

Aqua: ... ... ... I have a bucket of ice water. You will help me.

Kazuma: hey, what are you doing with that ? I won't go. The weather's too hot to be running around outside today. S- Stop it ! What are you doing to my blanket ?! I just dried it in the sun, don't wet it ! I won't forgive you if you wet... Fine, I'll go ! Put down that bucket !

Aqua: here we are. It looks like a very small church, but this accentuates the humility of the Axis cultists. It feel very nice.

Kazuma: This church feels like it'll collapse if the wind blows too hard. Who even is the person in charge of this church ? We've got too many people with awfully strong personalities. i'm leaving if it turns out to be some weirdo.

Aqua: Everyone in the Axis cult is a good person, so don't worry. I've never met the person in charge of the church in this town, but it seems a new person has recently taken up the post...

???: See, no problem, right ? Verify it... just be careful with this

???: Certainly, I was right to look you up. These are definitely first grade goods. Anyway, there's nothing to worry about. There isn't any danger once I got used to it. It's only for my personal enjoyment after all.

Kazuma: ... ... ... ... ...

Aqua: ... ... ... ... ... This...

Kazuma: Why do I feel like I heard that voice... Hold on...

"It's best that way. Even so, don't drown yourself in the good stuff and overdo it. It causes deaths every year, so be careful.

Kazuma: That's... Aqua, let's go to the police station.

Aqua: W- Wait ! My children aren't criminals ! This must be a misunderstanding ! Don't jump to conclusions before we find out what's happening !

Kazuma: Your cultists' provocation and sexual harassment of Eris cultists are already crimes.

Megumin: Seriously, you never change. Do you really like this white powder so much ?

Kazuma: Wait, Megumin ? White powder ?! What is going on...

Megumin: Is this really that good ? I remembered I was recommended it before. I want to try it out too.

"I honestly would advice against it. It looks like ordinary white powder, but if you add hot water..."

Kazuma: This doesn't make any sense... Y/n, is he involved in that kind of smuggling...

???: In that case, why don't you try it ? Don't worry, Megumin. Everyone's a little afraid at first, but after you try it, you'll get addicted-

Kazuma: This is it, you evil cultists !! What are you doing to my companion ? Do you have a death wish or something ?!

Megumin: K- Kazuma ? Why are you here... ? Even Aqua's... !

Kazuma: Who cares why ! Stop right there, you criminal scum ! i'm a famous adventurer in this city ! If you resist, don't blame me if you get hurt !! And you... How low must you sink to undergo such things ?!

"Hey, business is business. You're so stingy with yours, I needed a day job to get some money."

Kazuma: You're doing smuggling of illegal things !! And you, give that !

Priestess: W- Wait ! Although this is a banned item, it's for my personal use only...

Kazuma: Who'd believe that nonsense ! You were just trying to entice my companion ! Stop joking, how are you going to compensate if my companion becomes even weirder after using that thing ?! I'll use Tinder and burn those damn things away !!

"Hey, you're just overreacting now. This ain't-"

Aqua: GOD BLOOOOW !!

"PUARK- !!"

Aqua: You... HOW DARE YOU TRYING TO PROPAGATE THESE KIND OF THINGS AMONGST MY PRECIOUS DEVOTEES ?!

"... ... ... ... Aight. Last time wasn't enough, huh ?"

Aqua: H- Huh... ?

"So... Who wants daddy's belt ?"

Megumin: So... What are you two doing here ? Why did you suddenly barge in ?

Kazuma: Megumin, shut up ! Hey, you evil priestess who attempted to entice an innocent girl into misdeeds ! I'm someone who supports gender equality, so I'll raise my hand even against a woman with a sacred job ! As retribution for enticing my companion to play with this weird thing, i'll let you feel my sacred fist on behalf of a goddess who can't set a good example for her worshipers !

*BLAM*

Aqua: AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA !! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW !!

"Why only me, huh ?! I was asked by that girl to bring the stuff here ! So if you want to drop punishment, do it on both !!"

Megumin: ... Hasn't he been way more aggressive lately ?

Kazuma: Oh, all that Alderp crap has fully awakened his sadistic tendencies. So now he's taking everything he was holding in for all that time on her.

Aqua: STOP !! PLEASE !! Don't be so quick to judge ! This kid must have some mitigating circumstances ! You're not an Axis cultist, so I passed judgement ! But I can sense the aura of an Axis cultist from her ! I think we should let her explain first !

"... ... So people get preferential treatment if they bow to you, huh ?"

Aqua: AAAAAAAAAHHH ! KAZUMA-SAAAAN !! HELP ! HELP ME !! STOP HIM !!

Priestess: You're... ? Ah, for such a thing to happen... Ha, I mustn't be rude. Fine, I lose. If you want to burn this or hand me over to the police, do as you wish...

Kazuma: If you surrender, we won't do anything to you, but please cooperate with the police. Pay for your crimes there.

Priestess: Okay, I know... Megumin, are you still willing to call me big sis ? Don't worry, after I pay for my crime, we'll meet again... yes, probably around this evening...

Kazuma: ... Heh ? This evening ? What are you saying ? Why would you be released so soon ?

Megumin: What are you saying ? Illegal possession of Tokoroten slime will at most be punished with a lecture for about an hour.

Kazuma: ... ... What slime ? Is it poison or a drug that makes you high... ?

Megumin: Nothing like that. It isn't so dangerous. Tokoroten slime's easily swallowed and feels elastic in the mouth. It's a popular food among kids and old people.

"What, did you think I became a drug dealer or something ?"

Kazuma: But, from the conversation earlier... Don't some people die from this yearly... ?

Megumin: Because of the food's nature, a lot of people swallow it without chewing properly, so some choke to death every year.

"basically you're getting all worked up over some bubblegum. I heard this was the favorite things for wives to give to their mother-in-laws."

Kazuma: ... ... No, but isn't it a banned item ? And the white powder ? The possession itself is a crime, right ?

Priestess: Previously in Arcanletia, the Demon King's army used Tokoroten slime as part of a terrorist attack... It involved turning all the hot springs in the city to Tokoroten slime. After that, the nation decreed that Tokoroten slime must have dangerous side effects for the demon king's army to use it, so they started an investigation... In the end, the law banned the consumption of Tokoroten slime before the investigation could confirm that it was safe to use... ... But to me, Tokoroten slime's irreplaceable ! So even though I know I'll be lectured, I still do it... !

Kazuma: ... ... ... ... So that "Day Job" of yours is...

"Smuggling of extremely slightly illegal items."

Kazuma: ... ... ...

Aqua: You, devout Axis cultist... Remember the seventh doctrine of the Axis cult.

Priestess: The seventh doctrine... ? "You shall not endure. Drink when you want to drink, eat when you want to eat, because you might not get to eat tomorrow..."

Aqua: That's right. You shall not endure. Even if it's fired chicken in someone else's bowl, eat it if you want to. If you want to eat tokoroten slime, don't hold yourself back. After all, holding it back isn't good for the body.

Priestess: Ah... Aqua-sama, thank you... !!

Kazuma: Hey, what should do ? Should we stop them ? Or is it better not to get involved ?

"If you're asking yourself the question, the answer is obvious. But I'll take a page of her book, and since I want chicken, and it's bad to hold back, Imma pay Emperor Zel a visit."

Aqua: Huh ? What ?! N- NOOOOOOOOOOO !!

Megumin: ... So you thought I was being enticed by weirdos into misdeeds and charged in ?

Kazuma: Yes, i'm sorry. You're familiar with that priestess, right ? I've caused you trouble because of the misunderstanding.

Megumin: It's nothing. After all, you were worried about me, huh ? I remember it was "This is it, you evil cultists ! What are you doing to my companion ? Do you have a death wish ?!" Right ? I got another of Kazuma's quotes to remember.

Kazuma: D- Don't. Forget it, I was too anxious then... Hey, stop giving me that cheeky look or I'll pull on your face. Hey !

Priestess: Ah ! What's happening ?! What's with this person ?! To make Megumin smile so coyly ! Megumin even had that slutty Tsundere look ! Megumin's still so cute, can I hug you ?!

Megumin: Please don't. Anyway, I haven't introduced all of you to her, right ? This is Cecily. She's the manager of this church. Uh, her relationship with me is...

Cecily: i'm her older sister.

Megumin: Please don't invent fictitious relationships. Uh, I should say she took care of me previously...

Cecily: Let me formally introduce myself... Pleased to meet you, Aqua-sama ! I heard about you from our church's highest ranking official Lord Zesta. My name's Cecily, if I can be of use in any way, please let me know.

Aqua: ... Oh ? You'll do anything ? There's a hole in my sock, will you buy me a new pair ?

Cecily: of course, Aqua sama !! I'll naturally serve you and help you wear the socks...

Kazuma: Stop that. She'll get carried away if you dote on her too much. By the way, why are you so devoted to Aqua whom you only just met ? Has the Axis Cult realized her true identity ?

Cecily: I don't know what you're talking about. Aqua-sama's Aqua-sama. She's the Archpriest who saved our city. She's the Archpriest who's named after our goddess. She merely shares the name of the goddess. I came to this city to serve Aqua-sama and rely on her brilliance to spend my days leisurely.

"... I'll put in in non-blinded terms. I want to be a useless footstool so she can live her days leisurely."

Kazuma: Please return to Arcanletia.

"... ... ... ... ..."

Cecily: AHHHHHHHHHHH !!

"Please stop squirming ! I don't want to miss the shot !!"

Kazuma: Dude, stop !! You can't catapult her all the way to Arcanletia !

"Bet ! And it's not a catapult, it's a Magically Enhanced Trebuchet from Hell ! I'm sending her off by the power of the METH !!"

Kazuma: Gah ! Whatever...

Aqua: ... ... ... Kazuma...

Kazuma: ... You really want me to bring that point right now ?

Aqua: In ten seconds it might be too late...

Cecily: NOOOOOooOOooOOoooOOoOoooOOOO !!

Kazuma: Uh... You're Megumin's acquaintance, Cecily-san, right ?

Cecily: Oh, don't be so formal, you can be more casual. You can call me Cecil-

"LAUNCH !!"

Cecily: Y-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... !

"Ahhhhhhhh... One good thing done."

Kazuma: ... ... Bring her back here, please...