" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Announcer: Citizens of Axel, are you ready for this long-awaited day ? I officially announce the start of the Goddesses Eris and Aqua Thanksgiving Festival !!

Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH !!

Kazuma: Urg... It's already morning...

Megumin: Good morning, Kazuma. Everyone got up early today,including Aqua and Darkness.

Kazuma: No, I didn't get up early, I was playing games all night. By the way, everyone's up ? I don't see anyone, where'd they go ?

Megumin: Aqua was too excited to sleep last night, so she went out at dawn. And after I told Darkness that Aqua was gone, she rushed out as well, saying she wants to keep an eye on Axis cultists so they don't do anything stupid. As for Y/n, he's been up all night setting up security.

Kazuma: That girl sure is busy after becoming the temporary lord. Megumin, are you going to the festival ?

Megumin: No. I intend to visit Yunyun, who's probably about to cry over the fact that she has nobody to got o the festival with. I'll walk around before her, but I won't invite her along, to mess with her feelings. Kazuma, want to come along ?

Kazuma: Y- You're... Just go with her to the festival. I'll take a short nap until evening, then I'll visit the festive stalls.

Megumin: I don't think that can be considered a short nap anymore... By the way, Kazuma, are you free on the third night of the festival ?

Kazuma: the third day ? I'll probably be roaming around, visiting the stalls or something. Why ?

Megumin: Nothing. there's a fireworks display on the third day. Since the festival's held in conjunction with Axis cultists, i'm not sure if we can get to the third day safely. Then again, I can't be sure that there'll definitely be an accident... If it's all good, do you want to watch the fireworks with me ?

Kazuma: ... ... Fireworks ? 'Going to the festival and watching fireworks with a girl... What is that ? Has my youth arrived ?!'

"For the last time, you can't sell these without a permit ! For pity's sake, you guys are the reason I had to double up on security !"

Cecily: What do you mean by "These things" ? This is the stall carefully planned by Aqua-sama. How dare you insult it !

Kazuma: Okay, what is happening now... And, huh...

"Don't question me looking the part of the job."

Kazuma: yeah, right. So, what are you doing ? I asked you people to get enthusiastic, not to get into an argument ! You make trouble for everyone the moment I take my eyes off you. Must you people always be like that ?

Cecily: Ah, good ! Listen, Kazuma, this guy's picking on us to disrupt our business !

"I'm not picking, I'm trying to make sure nothing illegal goes on during that festival ! And so far, Axis cultists have been a royal pain in my ass !"

Kazuma: ... What the hell even are these ? Tadpoles ? Aren't they a bit too big ?

Cecily: Aqua-sama said that there should be goldfish scooping in a festival. I'm not familiar with goldfish scooping, but I still did my best to recreate the scene. Since it's difficult to find wild goldfish, I used tadpoles as a substitute...

Kazuma: Why'd anyone want to scoop this ? And, are they really tadpoles ?

"Oh, they are. They are tadpoles of giant frogs, and it's illegal to sell them here ! These things will grow huge in a very short time ! If the kids buy them, the city will be covered in giant frogs in a few months ! How will you deal with that, huh ? Pesticide !!"

Cecily: Stop ! Don't ruin my shop ! Aqua-sama sais that you would feel nostalgic and be very happy ! You should like goldfish scooping, right ?!

Kazuma: yes, I like scooping goldfish ! But who'd want to scoop these unlovable things ?

"if you don't want them killed, juts put them back where you found them. And don't you dare just release them in the city ! You were supposed to handle things after the permit was granted, not doing... Whatever this is !"

Cecily: Hehe. Did you think there's only one stall that the Axis cult can be proud of ? For this festival, all the Axis cultists gathered and thought of many creative things !

Kazuma: is that...

"Don't get me started !"

Shop: A string of roasted kraken ! This is made from a young kraken ! Rare and special roasted kraken ! Very delicious !

Customer: Hey, isn't this just an ordinary squid ? It's no different from the taste of a squid...

Shop: What are you saying ? Have you eaten a real kraken before ? The Axis cult can guarantee that this is definitely a roasted kraken !

"Kh..."

Shop: Come and visit the Amazing hut ! Currently exhibiting the rare hybrid offspring of a fishman and a mermaid ! Caught by brave Axis cultists... Ah, customer, please don't get crazy in the hut !

Customer: This is nonsense ! Return my money ! That's just a big fish inside a tank !

Shop: I've said already, this is the hybrid offspring of a fishman and a mermaid !

Kazuma: That too...

Shop: Come and play the shooting game ! There's a grand prize for anyone who can hit the target between the eyes...

Customer: Hey, the shooting target looks like Eris-sama ! Stop this blasphemy against Eris-sama !

Shop: Ugh. Eris cultists atempt to disrupt us on the first day of the festival ! Security ! Over here ! Arrest those Eris cultists... Ah, what are you doing ? I didn't ask you over to close my shop ! I want you to arrest those Eris cultists... !

"Snirf... Boohooo..."

Kazuma: There, there...

kid: Onee-san, is that a real dragon ?

Shop: Yes, of course it's a dragon. The Axis cult's currently operating dragon-rearing ranches. One for only 500 Eris. Come, buy one.

Kazuma: ... That's a lizard painted with weird colors...

Kid: Eh... 500 eris' all of my pocket money. If I buy it, I won't be able to buy other things. No thanks. Anyway, it looks like a lizard...

Shop: Is it ? How regrettable. But if it's like this, these children won't be sold. Of course, unsold dragons can't simply be released into the wild, they're dangerous, after all. I can only send them to animal shelters... But if they can't find owners there, they'll eventually be out to death...

Kid: ... W- Why's it like that ? Th- This is a lizard, right ? Just releasing it wil be fine.

Shop: What are you saying ? This is a trueborn dragon ! Hey, are you buying ? Is it really okay not to buy it ?

Kid: Uh... B- But if I buy it, my pocket money will...

Shop: So you're not buying ? Then you'll definitely regret it ! These poor dragons are destined to be sent to the animal shelters !

"I'll send your Zel to an animal shelter if you don't stop that !"

Aqua: Hah ?!

"Don't think that just because you were scammed into buying a chicken egg, you can't go around and bully little kids ! What is that, your revenge on society ?! You want to mass-produce similar victims ?!"

Aqua: What are you saying ? Don't you know ? In the special situation of a festival, a certain amount of profiteering is acceptable ! Aren't Japanese festivals like this ? And Emperor Zel' a real dragon !

"... ... ... I'm tired, boss... I'm tired..."

Kazuma: This isn't an acceptable amount anymore, you fool ! Look, your area's not lively at all, and the customers are losing patience with all of you ! Darkness said she'll be coming for inspection. If that rock-headed person sees this tragedy, she won't permit the Axis cult to host a festival ever again ! I mean, look at that ! Even the head of security's completely demoralized !

Aqua: Ah !! Th- There ! Kazuma, there's a popular stall there ! There are definitely no tricks and its the most profitable stall !

Kazuma: What, which stall... Huh ?!

Chris: ... ... ... ... .. ...

Kazuma: 'Wh- Why is the Goddess Eris managing a stall for the Axis cult ?'

Aqua: I saw Chris strolling around, so I grabbed her to man the stall !

Customer: Hey, again ! Please, once more ! I've spent a lot of money here already ! i'll win this time ! Since I don't see any cheats, I should win soon !

Customer: I don't sense any trace of blessing magic, so why do we always lose... ? Hey, stop playing.

Customer: Once mor e! It's fine if I don't recover my loses. I'll be satisfied if I win once ! I won't accept this pathetic record of not winning even once !

Kazuma:: ... 'The rules are not biased... Your opponent is just too strong. After all, this girl is...'

Customer: Okay, just this time ! Goddess of luck, Eris-sama ! Please let me win ! Or I'll convert to the Axis cult !

Chris: Eh ? Hey, w- wait !!

Customer: All on this one lot ! ... damn it ! I hate Eris-sama the most !

Chris: D- Don't !

Aqua: Well done, Chris. It was worth the effort to beg and coerce you into helping ! You didn't just man the stall, you even converted an Eris cultist ! Previously, I found a strangely shaped stone from the Kowloon hydra lake. I'll give it to you as a present.

"Hold on... Why do I feel like I've already seen it somewhere before... ?"

Chris: I don't want it ! Ugh... My precious worshiper...

Kazuma: And now we have two completely demoralized people...

Cecily: Aqua-sama, what should we do ? Now that the obsessed customers have left, even the lottery stall... We can only use the Tokoroten slime stall recommended by me.

Kazuma: hey, stop selling weird stuff ! I'll think of something for you people.

Aqua Hey Kazuma, what should I do ?

Kazuma: This is the time for your party tricks. After attracting customers, you can help out. Cecily will attend the customers, and Chris can help me with the cooking.

Aqua: Oh, I just need to attract customers ? Leave it to me !

Cecily: I just need to use my charms to receive the male customers ? Leave it to me !

Chris: Why am I still helping out ?

"Do I need to do anything ? With the Axis cult mostly out of the picture, security's a really boring job."

Kazuma: we're making Yakisoba, so... Stir.

"You got that. I'll fucking wring that stuff like never before."

Kazuma: Okay, next ! More mayonnaise and seaweed, right ? Hey, Aqua, cut more cabbages ! I'll leave the pork to Chris !

Aqua: Hey, Kazuma, let me cut the pork ! Today's cabbages are too lively and aggressive !

Chris: i'm not good at handling cabbages either ! Lowly assistant, let me do your job, you cut the cabbages !

Kazuma: It can't be helped then. Chris, check out my vegetable-cutting skill ! The cabbages are especially crispy in summer, they're most tasty.

Chris: Uh, yes. I like summer cabbages the best. Winter cabbages are too violent. Autumn cabbages can fly, so they're very difficult to deal with...

Kazuma: Both of you are supposed to be working, why are you eating ?! This customer has waited for a lo,g time ! Big bowl of noodles with extra pork slices !

"Delivery~ !"

Customers: This yakisoba thing's really delicious ! The sauce(s awesome ! I feel hungry just smelling it ! Bro, one big bowl of noodles with mayonnaise and cabbage !

"Thanks for the patronage, I have your order ! Cecily, stop eating the cabbages !"

Kazuma: I swear, having a psychic as a waiter is invaluable...

Customer: I didn't expect someone with the Cooking skill to open shop here. This year's festival's really sumptuous ! Looks like we can let Axis Cultists join in the festival next year as well !

Customer: isn't that chef the famous adventurer, Satou Kazuma, and some of his party ? That guy can even cook ?

Aqua: Kazuma Kazuma !

Kazuma: yes, i'm Kazuma...

Aqua: Axis cultists are being praised ! This is something new to me !

Cecily: Should we add Tokoroten slime as an after-meal dessert ? Sweet and soft Tokoroten slime !

Kazuma: Don't add weird illegal items like that ! So, how's this, Aqua ? If you're that serious about doing business, you can make a profit ! No need for tricks, just doing it honestly is the best !

"Still, looking at this popularity, maybe you should open a restaurant or something."

Kazuma: Even though I have enough money for my entire lifetime, seeing this is making me quite happy...

Chris: Hey, lowly assistant... It seems that even the customers from the stalls managed by Eris cultists are coming over. What am I doing... ?

"Well... isn't this festival supposed to be the Eris and Aqua Festival ? Let it be known that on this night... Among all the Axis cult's stalls, the only one making profit is the noodle stall."