" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Megumin: AAAAAAAAAHH !! That thing ! That thing's not Explosion Magic ! The power's only at the level of Blast magic ! That thing ! That... That... !

Kazuma: Hey, I get it. Calm down, wait ! That's juts a tool, I was kidding, kidding ! Hey ! It takes a lot of money and time to make one, give it back !

Megumin: No ! With me around, there's no need for this thing to exist ! This, this thing ! I'll throw it away if I see that again ! That's a deviant thing ! I won't acknowledge that fake !

Kazuma: I know, I know, I know all right... really, I only made this to accommodate your willfulness.

Megumin: It might be useful, but no !!

"... ... Hold that thought."

*B-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Megumin: H- Heh... ?

"... Explosion~."

Kazuma: Weapons check, food check, equipment check. All the items are ready ?

"What about the drags ?"

Kazuma: yeah, these too.

Aqua: Kazuma, you were so unwilling just a while ago, yet you're so eager now. What's the occasion ?

Kazuma: Because I thought about the battle this time and found that our chances are quite good. Furthermore, Yunyun who can use teleport will be coming along.

"So you're just planning on letting the other adventurers and knights do the heavy lifting, and let Megumin mingle the general ?"

Yunyun: I- I'll work hard ! I'll carry the luggage, make the food, keep watch at night and storm the front, I'll do anything !

"Pretty sure most of that is supposed to be my job anyway. In any case, we'll be more at ease with another capable fighter during the journey."

Yunyun: Is everyone ready ? Did you forget anything ? I have handkerchiefs and toilet paper, just tell me if you need any !

Megumin: Please calm down, we're not kids going on a field trip.

Kazuma: ... We'll be in your care, Yunyun. We'll teleport to the capital first, then walk to the fortress from there. It seems that veteran adventurers can reach it in about two days, and there are accommodations available along the way, so we'll head there first.

Yunyun: Okay, I've prepared all manners of board and card games for our stay outside, so don't worry !

"So that's the reason behind that huge luggage you're dragging behind..."

Yunyun: Teleport !

"The capital... Been quite a while."

Kazuma: We're not here to check on your... Gh... Your "Little Sister Iris".

"Well, now that we're here, do we go straight for the front-lines ?"

Kazuma: that was the original plan, but I think we should collect info on the situation from that person over there. I've got an idea.

Kazuma: Everyone here is working hard. Ah, your passion for your work is truly commendable.

Guard: thanks. You guys are traveling adventurers, right ? You've probably heard this already, but the Capital is currently in a state of high alert due to that attacks of the Demon King's army. Anyway, don't just stand there, if you're entering the capital, then hurry up and come in.

Kazuma: No, we're not here to visit the capital. Rather, we rushed here after hearing that the Capital was in a state of crisis. We want to go support the fortress closest to the frontlines.

Guard: Oh, you came to help ? ... Though I am truly moved, will you be fine on the frontlines with your gear ? The enemies gathered near the fortress are all elite troops of the Demon King's army, you know ?

Kazuma: Hey, hey, I'll feel troubled if you evaluate me so lightly. I might not look the part, but I have the accomplishment of defeating a Demon King's general... My name is Satou Kazuma, you've at least heard of this name before, right ?

Guard: Huh ? What are you saying, a man like you... ?

Soldier: hey, wait a second ! I don't recognize this man, but I've seen the people behind him before !

Guard: Huh ? H- hey, that's right ! I've heard of that great mage who swept away the Demon King's army with Explosion magic !

Soldier: Wait, that's Lady Dustiness ! Lady Dustiness who was able to take the blows of a battalion of monsters is here !

Guard: I've seen that blue-haired priest before ! When the Demon King's army attacked a while ago, she cast powerful support magic and healed all the wounded !

Soldier: ... Windings... That's the founder of the Windings delivery company ! The one-man-army himself !

Kazuma: ... 'What are they doing...'

'They're praising us. Everyone, strike a pose !'

Megumin: 'Yes !'

Kazuma: ... ... It seems that you know your stuff. Yes, we're-

Soldier: Ah, I remember you ! You're the guy that was hacked to death by kobolds !

Kazuma: ... Eh ?

Guard: yeah. Now that you mention it, I remember now. You're the guy that embarrassingly charged in front and got surrounded and mobbed by kobolds !

Soldier: You're way too weak, don't even think about going to a place like that. There is a faraway town called Axel that is known as the gathering place for newbie adventurers. Why don't you go there and level-up a bit first ? The monsters around here are all strong. By the way, are you their servant or something ? Even if you're just a porter, you need to have decent strength.

Kazuma: ... ...'No, now's not the time to argue with the guards.' As you can see, we're a strong adventurer party. Beside me, the leader, the party is composed of a Summoner, an Archpriest, a crusader, and two Archwizards. it's a rather luxurious group, isn't it ?

Guard: Ah, that's pretty amazing ! ... hey, if I may ask, what job do you, the self-proclaimed leader have ?

Kazuma: ... ... Humph. Right no we're going to go help the nearest fortress, but we're not sure how to get there. That said, if there are any adventurers or soldiers going to the fortress, please allow us to accompany them. Of course, since they're leading the way for us, we won't charge any protection fees, so you can be rest assured.

Guard: I see... It is extremely regrettable, but I'd not recommend going there. The enemy general's siege on the fortress has been relentless. Currently, wounded adventurers are falling back every day, and his Majesty the King, and the Crown Prince, whom were fighting in the frontlines, have been forced to retreat for the sake of their safety. In this kind of situation, no one would willingly go to the fortress.

Soldier: Even though no one can bring you there, as a compromise, we can give you a map that shows the location of the fortress, as well as the distribution of monsters in the area. I'd usually stop other adventurers from going, but with a party like yours, you shouldn't have any problems getting there. Good luck ! Your name is Satou Kazuma, right ? I'll tell the adventurers and the townspeople that a brave adventure party led by Satou Kazuma has left for the frontlines.

Kazuma: ... Huh ?

Guard: I'll leave it to you to help my comrades that've been struggling on the frontlines !

Soldier: Yeah ! We saw how you repelled the Demon King's army last time ! You guys can do it !

Guard: All right, I'll go to town and spread the news ! Everyone will be overjoyed ! We'll leave this to you !

Kazuma: Ah, ok.

Kazuma: ... So, after talking to them, I managed to get a map of the fortress and the information about monsters.

"Surprisingly, you were more enthusiastic than I expected. If everything's in order, what are we waiting for ?"

Kazuma: ...'Looks like all my options to turn back were quickly cut off...'

"So... It should take about two days to reach the fortress... And there are checkpoints along the way to rest. And since there are no caravans due to the danger of the area, I suggest we hightail it to the first checkpoint."

Yunyun: Oh, if anyone is hungry, please tell me, I brought a lot of snacks ! Also, since I know elementary magic, I can create clean water, so if you're thirsty you can tell me as well.

"Yunyun, while I appreciate the attention, could you please stop acting like we're on a school trip ? This is literally war we're going at."

Yunyun: ... Ah, Megumin, stop ! Don't go there, that path looks like it is about to collapse !

Megumin: Why are you so naggy ? Are you a child going camping for the first time ? We have a long walk ahead of us today, so if you keep this up, you'll be really tired later.

"... if only she was the only one a tad too excited..."

Aqua: What are these light and fluffy things ? I've never seen them in Axel.

"Kesaran pesaran, fairy sprites similar to dandelion seeds. They're harmless, so leave them alone. Or else their guardian will show up too."

Kazuma: ... Hey Megumin, are you sure it was a good idea to bring that "Evil God" along ?

Megumin: You'll understand when we get there. In other words, this thing will help us subjugate the Demon king's army general.

"Aqua, let it go. It's dangerous to hold on to them any longer."

Aqua: Just let me rub it a little while longer. I've been away from Emperor Zel for a long time and this thing reminds me of him.

"You parted with him two hours ago."

Kazuma: ... ... Hah ? Get ready, something's approaching ! My enemy detection skill is acting up !

"Monsters already ?"

Kazuma: I... I don't know...

Bandits: Stop right there, adventurers ! This path is under our control ! Leave your money and luggage here !

"... Bandits ? Well ain't that uncommon."

Aqua: Kazuma, it's bandits ! It's my first time seeing actual bandits ! In this world filled to the brim with monsters, there are actually people who take up such a useless way of life !

"How much of a loser must you be to have to choose that, seriously. Why would you guys live outside the walls at the mercy of monsters, when simply becoming adventurers is far better ?"

Kazuma: that explains why the legendary mob known as "bandit" appeared.

Megumin: Kazuma Kazuma !

Kazuma: Yes I'm Kazuma.

Megumin: the mob that's rarer than onion ducks !!

Yunyun: Bandits have really appeared ! Even though I travel a lot on my own, this is the first time I've encountered actual living bandits ! When I return to the Crimson Demon village, I'll brag to everyone about this !

Bandits: Gh... ...

'Oh, you don't like that ? The worst has yet to come, you know...'

Darkness: ... ... ... ...

Bandits: Hey, are you looking down on us ? Hurry up and hand over your money !

Aqua: What a textbook performance, you guys are the real deal !

"... Kazuma, can I unleash the crusader ?"

Kazuma: Go ahead.

Darkness: ... ... ...

https://youtu.be/fdLu9TeMcbY

Darkness: Just looking at you people, I can clearly tell that you haven't had a bath in forever and reek of disgusting body odor ! i'm not sure if it's due to the abstinent lifestyle in the mountains, but your gazes are also filled with lust ! You imbecile bandits who'd ravish weak girls with all your might, my name's Dustiness Ford Lalatina ! As a female knight, I won't let you do as you please !

"Try saying that with a face that's not beet-red from expectations, then you'll be taken seriously."

Bandits: Dustiness... ? Hey hey, did she just say Dustiness ? Dustiness as in the noble House Dustiness ? Now that I think about it, she has blonde hair and blue eyes... isn't that evidence of her noble heritage ?

Darkness: You said to leave our luggage and money. But you bastards won't be satisfied by just that, will you ? I can tell just by seeing your gazes... Once we remove our battle equipment you'll say things like "hey, aren't these girls quite nice ? We'll be able to fetch a high price for them... !"

Bandits: H- Huh... ?

Darkness: Of course it won't end there ! You'll say things like "Boss, before we sell the goods, why don't we try them out" with a dirty smile ! Then the person over there that looks like your boss will say "Oh, of course. Is there a reason not to try out our high quality products... ?" H- hey, what is it ? Why are you suddenly running ?! What's your intention ?

Bandits: If there are nobles here, then that means there are knights squadrons nearby ! Hurry up and run ! Those red eyes, they're crimson demons !

Darkness: Hey, hey, wait ! There are a bunch of young girls here ! Are you sure you're fine with this ? Also, there are no knights here ! Wait, wait ! What about your pride as bandits... ?

"You're not chasing after them. Not after you spat all that stuff about trying to act more lady-like."

Kazuma: We're in such a mess because you didn't let those people go.
Darkness: Ah, b- but as a knight I can't turn a blind eye to those that harm the masses...

"Why don't you come clean and admit you want them to violate you ?"

Darkness: AH ?!

Aqua: I also wanted to fight those bandits. If we defeat such a rare mob, lots of money will drop for sure.

Kazuma: Don't call bandits a mob.

"... By the way, who'll keep watch at night ? I don't know if my seekers can still alert me if i'm asleep."

Darkness: Ah, p- please leave it to me. I have confidence in my stamina, so everyone else can take a rest.

Yunyun: Darkness, this camping atmosphere has made me really excited ! There'll be no problems ! Please leave it to me !

Megumin: ... Don't stay up late, all right ? After all, you were probably really excited about our journey and didn't sleep last night, right ?

Yunyun: H- How do you know that ?

Kazuma: Just let me do it, all right ? I have the Enemy detection and Night Vision skills, and I'm a night owl anyway. Put out the fire after dinner so that we won't be noticed by monsters.

Darkness: ... i'm sorry, because of my stupid actions...

"Damn right. And if you really feel sorry for your actions, you'll stop chasing after some random people again."

Darkness: No problem. I lost my composure because bandits (Who're the enemy of all female adventurers) appeared. I've prepared myself. In the future, I'll only allow myself to be led around by a specific person.

"... I don't think I want to know who you're referring to. Even if I have a good idea already..."