" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"For just how long have we been hiding in this goddamn forest, exactly... ?"

Kazuma: Shut up, I think our target just appeared... plain robe, large hat... Yeah, she definitely is a woman...

"Of course that's the first and only thing you remember about the enemy... Hey, I already put my entire stamina in that attack, so can I ?"

Megumin: No ! This is my moment to shine !

"... Fine, fine... Mana charging it is then. If i'm to wipe over your mistakes, i'm doing it all out and making sure not a single molecule of them is left. After all, she's relaxed in her movements, since she can cast her spell from very far away and teleport immediately... She's not expecting any ambush, so right now is the best and only windows of action..."

Kazuma: What an annoying tactic. Can't she just face us in a proper fight ?

Darkness: If that General heard what you said, she will definitely say "I don't want to hear that from you".

"Shh... She stopped. Right now the fort is right at the edge of her range..."

Kazuma: Hey Megumin, start quietly chanting your spell now. There is no need to talk to the enemy, just finish this with a preemptive strike.

Megumin: You just talked about a proper fight a moment ago. What a sly tactic... But never mind, I will listen to you this time. I have to try to avoid letting Darkness tank an Explosive spell.

"Huh... Guys... ? She's looking straight at us, you know..."

Kazuma: Sh- She found us ! Megumin, chant your spell openly ! Shoot it in her face before she can cast hers !

Megumin: Leave it to me !

"I don't care what happens, I'm Chicxulubing this entire area."

Yunyun: H- hey, what's wrong, Chomusuke ?! Why are you writhing all of a sudden ?!

Kazuma: Dammit, we have to draw her attention before Megumin finishes her incantation...

"Kazuma, mine is ready."

Kazuma: No, you only have one shot of this, and it's our "Get-out-of-jail" card. So keep it tucked away for now. Darkness ! Aqua ! Stall for time !

Aqua: H- hey, Kazuma, I should stay behind in case of an emergency. After all, no one can revive the party if anything happens to me ! You hear me ?!

Kazuma: Stop blabbering and follow me ! I will be blown to smithereens if I get hit by Explosion anyway. This wasn't past of my plans, but the only one can rival a self-proclaimed evil god would be you !

Wolbach: ... ... ...

Kazuma: What's the matter ? You looked surprised to se us. Are you feeling afraid after seeing me, who is famous in the Demon King army ?

Aqua: maybe she is surprised after seeing your weird and funny face.

"Yeah, what about it. Wolbach, we both know why we're both here, so let's cut the discussion short a bit, alright ?"

Wolbach: ... ... Yes...

Kazuma: Huh... ? Hey, you're... !!

Wolbach: ... What are you all doing here ?

Kazuma: That should be my line. Aren't you that Onee-san who likes to bathe ?

"The fact you never put two and two together even after meeting her in Arcanletia is mind-boggling, Kazuma. Well, there and in the hot spring on the way here."

Kazuma: H- hey, Hold on just now... You met her on the way here... Knew who she was... And didn't tell anyone ?!

"... So now you're telling that to me right after making all that brave talk about not wanting to face them directly in battle, huh ?"

Kazuma: ... ... ... Huuuuh...

"Some of the last things I want in my hot spring, are Megumin casting explosion, and Aqua making a scene."

Kazuma: ... ... Somehow... That's a very valid point...

"You did hear Hans address her by her name, and still couldn't connect the dots."

Kazuma: ... To be honest, I didn't really want to connect them...

Wolbach: then I should introduce myself. My name is Wolbach, one of the Generals of the Demon King army. The patron goddess of sloth and violence, Wolbach.

Kazuma: ... Well, I actually didn't know that Onee-san was related to the Demon King army. But I have something to ask you. You don't look like a bad person to me, so why did you become a Demon King general ?

Wolbach: ... Why, you say ? According to tradition, this should be my reply ? If you want to know, you will have to defeat me.

"... With pleasure."

Kazuma: 'Damn it, so we still needed to fight... And that psychopathic moron isn't helping...'

Aqua: Hey, even though you said such deep words and built a mysterious atmosphere, I still have to cut you off here. I could sense some godly aura from you, but the patron goddess of sloth and violence ? If you're not honest, I will sue you for bending the truth. Just say that you are an evil god.

"And this one just had to go and destroy the solemn atmosphere..."

Wolbach: I might govern sloth and violence, emotions with unfavorable impressions, but i'm still a proper goddess. i'm not exaggerating.

Aqua: You're lying ! Hey, guys, this woman is talking nonsense ! The goddesses that are officially recognized in this world are Eris and me ! Apologize ! Proclaiming to be a Goddess and sullying the name of pure, beautiful and respectful goddesses, apologize for doing that ! Right ? Right ?!

"I mean, yeah, that would be right... if there was any 'Pure, beautiful and respectful goddesses' around. Maybe we should ask Eris next time we die or something."

Aqua: APOSTATE !!

Wolbach: Hey, what are you saying all of a sudden ?! I am a proper Goddess, it's just that after I joined the Demon King army, the crazy Axis cultists called me an evil god on their own, so I had no choice but to roll with it ! And I don't need a priest I never met before to lecture me on that !

Aqua: You say my devotees are crazy ?! How dare you treat the world-renowned Axis Cult like idiots, are you really a god ? Do you have any believers ? Puhehehe, I have never heard of a minor god called Wolbach !

Wolbach: H- How dare a mortal insult a god ! Don't think you can get away with this ! A priest like you should treat other Gods with respect !

Aqua: mortal ? You say i'm a mortal ? I'm calling you out on proclaiming to be a Goddess because your eyes are blind !

"You bought a chicken egg thinking it was a dragon's. Hey Kazuma, should we let the two self-proclaimed Goddesses handle each other ? Because I still have my blast, and i'm pretty sure if I aim right, I can get both of them at once."

Kazuma: As tempting as it may sound, please don't.

Aqua: I am Aqua. that's right the goddess of water worshiped by the Axis Cult ! A mere minor God that I have never heard of before dares to lecture me ? Know your place !

Wolbach: Huh ?! ... You will receive divine retribution if you impersonate a Goddess, you know ?

Aqua: Apologize ! Apologize for that right now !

Wolbach: Hey, stop that, you impudent fool ! I will give you divine punishment ! I will make you roll around tiredly in bed on your precious day off and waste your vacation !

Aqua: try if you dare ! I will curse your toilet to not flush even though there is someone waiting for you outside !

Wolbach: Goddesses don't use the bathroom, so that won't scare me !

Aqua: I live every day like a holiday, so i'm not afraid of you !

Kazuma: ... And here I thought Goddesses were supposed to be a greater and more respectable existence...

"Well, there's still Eris... But even she is a bit childish at times..."

Darkness: Hey, can we leave them alone ?

Kazuma: I'm of the same mind, but the opponent is still a general, so we can't ignore them...

Aqua: Seems like I have to let you have a taste of the prowess of a water goddess when she gets serious ! How dare an evil God like you act so haughtily ! You don't even have devotees who are pure, just, and free like mine !

"Yeah, purely, justly, and freely nuts..."

Wolbach: A- A retard like you is really the Goddess of Water ? But it's your problematic believers' fault that I am called an Evil God ! I have believers in the Demon King army too !! And you are just a super minor deity compared to Goddess Eris anyway !!

Aqua: ... ... SACRED CREATE WATER !!

Wolbach: Teleport !

"Wait, what are- GLURBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL !!"

*SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH*

Megumin: There'll be no problem this time. Please let me do it !

Kazuma: Will you really be fine ? What was up with you yesterday... ? Was it because the enemy looked like a human ? I mean, I understand how you feel. I can't attack such a beautiful onee-san without hesitation either...

Megumin: To me, it doesn't matter if the enemy is a human or child. As long as they provide a large amount of experience points, I will attack without remorse, but... Um...

Kazuma: I don't really know too much about your situation, but we can't rely on an ambush anymore. Our target will be more cautious from now on, thanks to a certain idiot who dumped water on her.

Megumin: yeah... That was something...

"Gah ! Aqua, you moron ! What got through your empty head this time ?!"

Aqua: This was a fake, self-proclaimed God ! What was I supposed to do ?!

"Follow the God damn plan !! Now use that as an occasion to make another scene ! Now we lost our only occasion to end this in one go !"

Aqua: W- Well, this was an Evil God ! It's my duty, as a rightful Goddess, to punish these !

"... Right, she was deemed an evil God by your followers, huh... Aquaaaa~ ? I have a little, small, tiny, minuscule question to ask you~."

Aqua: ask away, my child-

"DO YOU FIND IT FUNNY TO MAKE MORE DEADLY FOES FOR US TO FIGHT ?! FIRST HANS AND NOW THIS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU QUITE ENJOY THROWING US IN THE RED ALL THE TIME !! AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THERE ARE NO GODDESSES AROUND HERE AS WE SPEAK ! ONLY EGO-INFLATED MORONS !!"

"So now, Aqua... I have that blast still ready to go, and because of you, the enemy got away... So give me one good reason not to shove this down your throat and blast everything off !"

Kazuma: Phrasing... Anyway, even though the fortress walls weren't struck by Explosion magic, it still received damage from that flood...

Megumin: And now he's forcing her to repair the walls against her will...

Aqua: This isn't fair ! Why must I rebuild like that ?!

"... *Snap*"

Aqua: EEEEEEeeekk... !

Megumin: if that's so... Well, if there's anything you need help with, please feel free to call me. Even though I say that, my only strength is Explosion magic...

Kazuma: We still need to make a pla with everyone, so just take it easy-

*B-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Kazuma: I know that noise... ! This was...

Knights: We need some help here ! Go call someone who knows Earth Magic or Golem summoning magic ! We need to reinforce the wall before they collapse !

"Just leave that to me ! Focus on putting the bits back together while I hold them up !"

Kazuma: Wolbach...

"Nowhere to be seen ! She did her usual blast-and-dash strategy !"

Kazuma: Yeah, she probably used Teleport again to escape and buy herself time to recover her magic power...

Aqua: Ah ! Hey, what happened here ?! Why does the wall looks worse than before ?!

Kazuma: ... What's with this costume, Aqua ? You look like a construction worker...

Aqua: What do you mean ? Since i'm being forced to participate in the fortress repairs, so I went to prepare... But then what happened here ?! Who did such a terrible thing to our work ?!

"The enemy we couldn't take out swiftly because a moron got in the way, that's who ! And speaking of, I don't remember allowing you to take a break, SO GET BACK TO WORK THIS INSTANT !!"

Kazuma: ... This will last for a looong time...