" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Inspector: Well then, let's hear what you have to say, shall we ? ... By the way, this is a magic tool here that rings if anyone is lying... As a result, it's pointless for you to collude your testimonies.

"oh, they already know of that. This ain't our first rodeo with similar circumstances."

Inspector: And who might you be ?

"... I guess considering me the legal tutor of all these kids wouldn't be so far-fetched. i'm just here to pay the bill and bail them out when the time comes, don't pay attention to me."

Kazuma: ... ... I have nothing. It's true.

Darkness: Hmph, for whatever it's worth, i'm still a crusader; In the name of the Goddess Eris, I swear that I won't lie.

Inspector: ... As you wish. You' job is "Crusader" and you are a believer of the Eris church... Now then, first, what is your name...

Darkness: I choose to stay silent.

Inspector: ... Huh ?

"Why am I not surprised..."

Darkness: I said that I choose to stay silent. If you wish to know my name, feel free to torture or interrogate me as you please ! However, in the name of the prestigious house Dustiness, I swear that I will not speak easily !

Inspector: ... Dustiness-san, was it ? ... Erm, we wouldn't torture or interrogate you, okay ? In a world where there is magic to decipher the truth, those are outdated methods. Please rest assured... House Dustiness... That famous house Dustiness ? It can't be... However, the bell didn't ring... ?

Inspector: Now then Dustiness-san, why did you go to that sort of place to cast that magic ?

Darkness: I choose to stay silent; if you wish for me to speak, feel free to use brute force.

"Oh, I will use brute force when we're done with this. Stop being so stubborn and answer the question, damn you ! This isn't some fantasy of yours !"

Inspector: please calm down... if you choose to stay silent, then I shall assume that there is some crime you are guilty of, you know ? I said that I wouldn't use such outdated methods, but I have the tools to do so. However, I do not feel like using them. Please rest assured, your sentence will be light, so please don't be stubborn and be forthcoming with me instead. For your information, if I judge that suspects are withholding important information, then I am permitted to use torture; I would recommend that you don't act rashly...

Darkness: Just as I like it ! Rather, come at me with the most intense methods you can !

"... You force my hand. Inspector, may I intervene and... Help out ?"

Inspector: How so ? But also, yes please...
"Well, Lalatina over here is worried of her noble lineage."

Darkness: H- Huh... ?
"You see, she want's to be treated like a regular person, that's why she gets really cranky about her rock-hard body and strong muscles, especially her ripped abs-"

Darkness: STOP ! STOOOOOOOOOOOP !!

"Maybe that's why she keeps trying on her adventurer comrade's cute dresses and sighing in disappointment, whether she plays with herself at nigh-"

Darkness: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !! I GIVE, I GIVE !! I BEG OF YOU, STOP !!

Inspector: Uhm, that's enough... Next please...

Inspector: Now then, you are the person that casted the magic, correct ? And if i'm not wrong, your job is "Archwizard" right , Now then, first, let's hear your name.
Megumin: I am Megumin.

Inspector: ... ... What did you say ?

Megumin: I am Megumin.

*... ... ... ...*

Inspector: ... ... ...

Megumin: Oi, if you have any problems with my name, let's hear it, shall we ?

Inspector: N- No ! Please excuse my disrespectful behavior. Now then, why did you cast that disruptive magic in the middle of the night ?

Megumin: I have the duty of "One day, one Explosion". Back in Axel, I would cast it as though I was releasing fireworks.

*... ... ... ...*

Inspector: ... What will happen if you are unable to perform this "one day, one Explosion" duty you speak of ?

Megumin: I don't even want to think about it. Should it ever come to that, I suppose that "KABOOM" will happen.

*... ... ... ...*

Kazuma: 'Wait, what is "KABOOM" ? And why didn't the bell ring ?!'

Inspector: L- let's change the question. Regarding the casting of Explosion magic in the middle of the night, what do you think of it ? Don't you think that it is a crime in any way ?

Megumin: Not at all, because I believe that there is no doubt that I was a God of Destruction in my past life. As a result, destructive activities are wholly justified.

Inspector: ... ... ...

"Hey, don't look at me like that. Even I didn't know that."

*... ... ... ...*

Kazuma: ... Hey Aqua, you are fascinatingly beautiful today.

"GURK- My lungs !!"

Aqua: Hm hm, what's up with you all of a sudden ? What's wrong with you, Kazuma ? Could it be that when we were getting hit on a while back, you were actually jealous-

*Ti-ling*

Inspector: ... Please do not obstruct the questioning.

Kazuma: Sorry, I was just wondering whether the bell was broken or not... Ow- Oi, stop ! What are you doing , I praised you, so why are you strangling me ?! To start with, a while back, to test whether or not the bell was broken or not, didn't you do the same thing to me ?!

"So the bell isn't broken..."

Inspector: Let me ask you one more time. Why did you cast Explosion magic in the middle of the night ?

Megumin: Because that is the meaning of my life.

*... ... ... ...*

Inspector: ... Erm, next please...

Aqua: My name is Aqua, ok ? i'm something like a manager or guardian for those three over there alright ?

Inspector: ... ...

"She also has a pathological superiority complex, so please don't take what she says too seriously."

Inspector: I- I see... Aqua-san... yes ? You have the same name as the goddess of water.

*... ... ... ...*

Kazuma: hey, why didn't that magic tool ring ?

Darkness: As long as the person themselves believes deeply in it, then it's not a lie. When Megumin said those strange things, the bell didn't ring, right ?

Megumin: Oi, what do you mean by "Strange things", let's hear it shall we ?

"So she really do believe that crap she spouted. Kazuma, I'll hold her down when this is over."

Kazuma: thanks.

Inspector: hrm. Let's hear it then. For what reason were you at such a place at such a time ?

Aqua: That's because that man over there named Kazuma is in heat all year round. There was no other way to make sure that he wouldn't start creeping into girl's beds at night, so to rest assured, we brought him there.

*... ... ... ...*

Inspector: ... ... ...

Kazuma: 'H- Hey, you're mistaken... is that bell really, really not broken ?'

Inspector: Erm, well then... From your perspective, why did your group cast explosion magic in the middle of the night ... ?

Aqua: In order to protect the town from an incoming mob of monsters ! Yes, together with those three, I, the great Aqua have protected the town !

*... ... ... ...*

Inspector: It seems that... You weren't lying. What is this... You protected the town ? You say... ? As the representative of this town, allow me to express my thanks. You are Aqua-san, yes ? And your job is "Archpriest", correct ?

Aqua: Fufu... "Archpriest" is just a front ! There is no need for me to hide it anymore. I am none other than the one and only Goddess of water ! Yes, the goddess Aqua, that is who I am !

*Ti-ling*

Inspector: ... Please do not proclaim such things

Aqua: What ?! Why did it ring ?! i'm not lying !! Let go !!

Kazuma: ... That was you, wasn't it ?

"i'm not sitting still while she keeps blabbering stuff like that. I can only guess something about her being a goddess mitigates how well the tool can detect her lying."

Kazuma: Occasionally, she displays the abilities of a goddess, doesn't she ? For better of worse...

Inspector: then, last person... Please.

"Ahhh... Don't bother, I'll answer the questions you have... It'll go nowhere if you ask them, as you could see."

Inspector: M- My utmost apologies ! I never thought that you were related to the famous houses of Dustiness and Shinfornea !

"Don't apologize, you are solely doing your job. As a matter of fact, I should be the one presenting excuses for these ones casting explosion in the middle of the night. Our two nations are allied and friendly, so let's not make a large incident out of this. I'll pay for any damage that they caused, so let's keep this between us."

Inspector: yes, I understand. I fully understand ! If this gets out of hand then it will become a problem of foreign affairs ! I will not ask for you too deeply for their reason !

"There's the fact I don't really want to know it either..."

Kazuma: Well then, are we free to go home ?

Guard: Uhm, about this faulty magic tool, I couldn't find anything wrong with it, you know ? Well, I switched it out just in case but... Oi, we switched this one out, so put this in the storage for me.

Inspector: ... I just wanted to ask, but about what the blue-haired girl over there said earlier, are you so in heat that you would crawl into girls' beds at night if they put their eyes off of you...

Kazuma: It's just a lie ! Of course all of it was a complete lie !

Inspector: I- Is that so ? Well in any case, I wouldn't say anything, so...

Darkness: U- Uhm... We believe in you. We believe that even if we were alone and defenseless, you wouldn't try to do anything to us. isn't that good enough ?

*Ti-ling*

"Hm ? Wow, that thing sure has a good range, it's not even in the same room anymore."

Inspector: ... ... ...
Megumin: No one would think that Kazuma would do such a thing. When Kazuma is on watch-duty, I've never done anything like sleep lightly as a precaution.

*Ti-ling*

Inspector: ... ... ...
Aqua: I believe. I believe in him, ok ?! Kazuma is not a pervert in the least, and has never crawled into darkness' bed at night ! I honestly believe that he is a truly kind-hearted and extremely sensitive man, ok ?! The things that I said back then were all lies !

*Ti-ling Ti-ling Ti-ling Ti-ling*

Kazuma: Ti-ling Ti-ling Ti-ling shut up !! So that's how you perceive me you bastards ! But I have some self-consiousness and I've reflected on it already, so please don't say anything any more !! i'm very sorry !!

*... Ti-ling*

Kazuma: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!