" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"I'm glad our stay at the capital is being relatively peaceful"

Kazuma: I was roughed up by two lolis while you watched and laughed.

"I'm glad our stay at the Capital is being really peaceful"

Kazuma: Fucker. Heidel ! Heidel !

Heidel (Butler): How may I help you, Satou-sama ? Is it your morning coffee ? Or do you wish to have breakfast in bed ? Today's breakfast is exactly as Satou-sama had requested: Goose liver miso soup

"... As much as I admire your professionalism, I should ask you to not spoil him... he'll abuse it"

Heidel: I am extremely grateful of these words, Winding-sama.

Kazuma: Breakfast will be I bed. A coffee before that would also be great. On top of that...

Heidel: Tell the maid Mary to put on a shorter skirt before coming, is it ?

"... That's what I meant..."

Kazuma: I expected nothing less, Heidel. I'm glad you memorized my preferences.

Heidel: It is my pleasure to have my name remembered, sir. To make punishing Mary easier, I have repositioned the vase so that it would fall over more easily.

"That's too much professionalism. Kazuma, don't you think you started becoming one of these stuck-up nobles recently ? I'm beginning to see less and less differences between you and the late Alderp..."

Kazuma: I don't see what you're talking about *Sip*... Lots of snow sprites this year, the winter's gonna be harsh. Will the adventurer guild raise the rewards for eliminating snow sprites... Heidel, this will surely affect this year's harvest of farm products. Make an investment on my account in profitable farm products.

Heidel: understood, Satou-sama. Which types of produce shall we purchase ?

Kazuma: ... Erm, just... Buy the ones that'd be hit hard. The type that would see less harvest with the cold.

Heidel: Understood, I shall decide for you then.

'... Note to self: Deploy three platoons of soldiers to take care of the snow sprites and screw Kazuma over. You can be a capitalist and still care for the people, dammit.'

Kazuma: Well then, that'll be that. So, what are the plans for today ?

Heidel: Hrm. The events of the morning are as follows. First up is checking out the contents of the treasure storeroom with Aqua-sama while disguised as the quality inspectors. Later, Aqua-sama will use her party tricks in the courtyard and pull an "Amano-Iwato" (Throwing a party and dancing lewdly to distract guards) to preven- invite Lady Iris, who would be studying, out to play. In the afternoon, going with Megumin-sama to her daily Explosion experiments in the suburbs.

"Kazuma, what exactly are you trying to pull there ? And Heidel, I know a butler is supposed to not raise an eyebrow, but don't you see this is extremely unfitting of someone living here ?"

Heidel: Speaking of. Winding sir, you have scheduled an inspection of the armories around the Capital with lady Dustiness.

"I do ? Well, thank you very much."

Heidel: Of course, sir.

Kazuma: Gee, today sure is busy. What's for tonight ?

Heidel: Your evening is currently free. On another note, Lady Dustiness and Winding sir have been invited to a gala. What do you think ?

'Heidel, what part of "He must not know of it" do you not understand ?'

Kazuma: Of course I would sneak into the gala... To foil other men's flirtation with Darkness.

Heidel: Understood. I'll make the preparations.

"... ... Well, I'll be going as well. I wonder how long you can keep this going before someone gets sick of it..."

Kazuma: Heh.

Heidel: Good morning, Satou-sama. Today's breakfast is exactly as Satou-sama had requested. A miso soup with extra truffle. Hat do you think of it ?

Kazuma: Tastes like miso.

Heidel: is that so. I'll go prepare your coffee then, please enjoy your soup.

Kazuma: Heidel, the plans for today are... ?

Heidel: The itinerary for today is as follows. Going in the morning with Megumin-sama to protest at the capital's newspaper bureau and force them to publish a special documentary on Satou-sama and Megumin-sama. After that, Aqua-sama invited you to participate in her Axis sermon. In the afternoon, Iris-sama, Lady Dustiness and Winding-sama wishes to go on a monster hunting quest with you around the capital. Finally, attending a night sky explosion show hosted by Megumin-sama in the evening.

Kazuma: ... Let's decline the afternoon quest. Tell Iris i'll show my true abilities starting tomorrow. Instead, let Megumin do her Explosion show earlier, in that time slot. Darkness will likely be invited to another party tonight, gotta be there.

Heidel: Certainly, as you wish. By the way Lady Dustiness wants me to tell you not to sneak into her parties, and Winding-sama added that if he "Finds you stealing from there and embarrassing yourself again", he'd personally "Skin you alive and roll you in salt vinegar".

Kazuma: *Glups* Y- You're not getting the point, Heidel. It's something called pride, to say "hate" when they really mean "like". In other words, by telling me not to go, they in fact mean that they enjoy my presence there.

Heidel: is that so ? I indeed lack experience. Heidel respects your guidance. Since going unarmed lacks shock value, I'll go prepare a party-sized cake and make this a surprise for both of them.

Kazuma: Not bad, let's go with that... Wait no, we could still make this more interesting. let's do it this way. You make me a hollow cake big enough to fit me inside, then I'll be delivered to the event unnoticed. Just as everyone ponders who had brought the cake, it would crack down the middle and I would emerge spectacularly. How does it sound ?

Heidel: Genius indeed, Satou-Sama. I could already picture the guests standing there dumbstruck. I'll start the preparation at once.

Heidel: Good morning, Satou-sama. Today's breakfast, by Satou-sama's request, will be caviar miso soup. I do hope your ass-cheeks have recovered from the stunt of last week with the cake.

Kazuma: Thank you for everything you've done for me Heidel, I truly am grateful... However, I am dissatisfied with but one thing in everyday life.

Heidel: My sincerest apologies, Satou-sama. Heidel had actually been aware of Satou-sama's annoyance. Were you unhappy with the quality of your miso soup ?

Kazuma: Not that, not at all ! ... Now that you mention it, the miso soup did indeed taste strange. I only asked for food made with high-grade ingredients in general, not to have them all be added to my miso soup ! When I say I wanted saltier soup, I didn't ask for caviar !

Kazuma: Hrm. I'd say... Have people here been seeing me as only trouble ?

Heidel: ... ... ... I do not believe that is true.

Kazuma: What's with that suspicious pause ? Why couldn't you answer decisively ?! Don't avoid my sight, what are you implying ?!

Heidel: ... Does Satou-sama have a clue ?

Kazuma: How should I know ? Was from that time I snuck into darkness' party in a cake ? Didn't that end with the cake being returned with me still inside due to no one being willing to eat such a shady cake... ? And the fact I got throw through town once he found out...

*Knock knock*

Mary: My apologies for interrupting, Satou-sama. Your companions wish to see you. Please hurry to the reception room...

"We're going back"

Kazuma: Rejected.

"That was not a question. Over the last two weeks, about everyone here has grown tired of you just indulging yourself, and who could blame them ? Why not cut things short and preserve what little respect they have left of you for helping Iris ? Why don't you read these ?"

Kazuma: Huh ?

*"For Satou Kazuma-sama.
When I grow up, I want to be like Satou-sama rather than a cursed sword wielding adventurer or some prince of justice. Mommy told me, while Satou-sama has the weakest job, he still defeated many bad guys and is very strong. So, I want to be like Satou-sama too"*

"And there's more where that comes from. So why not take these childs' advice and actually rest ? And that applies to you as well, Aqua, don't think I didn't see you whine at the idea of leaving this place."

Aqua: ... ... Now that's the Kazuma I teamed up with. So, please bear with me. If the worse comes to worst, I'll still be there to praise you back in Axel.

Kazuma: ... Seems like the person only good at threats has improved. When you put it that way, I feel bad for staying. Not gonna lie, I'm hard to convince.

"... Speaking of threats, would the possibility of me-"

Kazuma: yes. Yes, anything you could unleash would be enough to convince me of something like that. I said hard, not suicidal.

"That's what I thought. So, now that things are settled, grab your loli love interest and ready your bags."

Megumin: H- hey ?! i'm not... Not loli, not his love interest, what the... !!

"Whatever, if you won't come clean, might as well come home."

Megumin: C- Come clean ?! Tell that to Darkness !! Isn't it about time you confess as well ? Your night raids have all gone south, so why don't you just say your feelings loud and clear like me ?! That way I won't have to eliminate you !

Darkness: E- Eliminated ?! My feelings are not like Megumin's... Besides, I bear the name of a noble, my family would not like me choosing a partner of commoner status...

"Funny. I was under the impression your father was rather understanding, and even encouraging you about that. So don't go and use familial matters as an excuse."

Kazuma: ... 'I could watch this for about an hour or so.'

Aqua: ... I've made up my mind, Kazuma ! Let's think back to our roots, shall we ? That's right, our hope was to defeat the unholy demon king and bring about World peace ! These children's letters reminded me of my true duty ! Alright, Kazuma, let's go level back up in Axel ! Guiding you, the weakling, from zero to hero is my obligation as a Goddess ! It's time for the Goddess of water to cast light upon these children' future !

Kazuma: ... Did she just insult me or... ?

"That's just regular Aqua. Remember how easily she can be motivated... And honestly, I can kinda understand it this time."

Kazuma: ... Yeah, that's right. I get it, Aqua. When we go back to Axel, we'll return to our roots and do quests for the Adventurers guild. After we get back in the swing of it, we shall show the demon King who's boss. People are closely waiting our actions. Since the children are cheering for us, what excuse do we have to not give it our all ?

"Not bad for Kazuma, who recently got the title of 'Lolizuma'."

Kazuma: Hey, who the hell called me that ?! "Scumzuma" or "Kazutrash" I could care less about, but not that !!

"You have quite the particular idea of which nicknames are correct and which isn't..."

Mary: Winding-sama, if I may... Lady Iris has requested that you stay a little bit longer, as she wish to say goodbye to you personally.
Kazuma: ... 'FUUU- !!"