Christopher

It's Sunday morning and I feel not so cheerful to move my ass from this hotel room and go anywhere. But I know I can't back off now after promising Nicole last night that I'll go with her today. I use the toilet and get into the shower, knowing that I should at least look presentable, no matter how miserable I feel from inside. Nicole arrives with a full schedule for the day shortly after I get ready. The vibrant smile on her face gives me an indication of how excited she is to show me around the city. Despite how depressive I have been around her in the last couple of days, she still manages to glow brightly. I know she is doing all this to lift my spirits, and as much as I am sad right now, I still appreciate her efforts.

We go to Balboa Park which is the first place on her schedule. It's indeed a huge Park and also very beautiful. When I woke up in the morning, I thought I wouldn't be able to be in my best mental state, but having Nicole by my side now stirs up my mood, and I begin to relish this moment with her as we go in. We see museums, huge historic structures, exquisite local arts, and wide stretches of greenery around. And as we walk through the track, Nicole tries her best to explain and tell me the uniqueness of every element present here, and I just nod, not understanding any of it. She looks too adorable as she gestures towards the building behind her, making a cute animated face. I just silently hope she doesn't catch up that I am simply staring at her beautiful face instead of listening to her.

Nicole seems thrilled as we walk through the zoo, and I reach for her hand. She smiles at me when I hold it, intertwining our fingers. At that very moment, I wonder how different it would have been if we were a normal couple, just like the other ones strolling around. I wonder how different it would have been if I wasn't carrying baggage on my shoulder. A piece of baggage as horrible as knowing that I am not who I thought I was. That I was living a life of lie for the past three years carrying a face which is not mine. How fucked up is that?

I try to suppress the knot that begins to build in my chest as I look around. For a second, I wish we would have been here genuinely to enjoy our time together, but the truth is different. We are not on a vacation. We are here to seek help from Nicole's father so that we can take down a sadistic Mafia leader. Thinking about meeting Nicole's dad makes me nervous. Not just because he is a police officer, but also because he is Nicole's father. I know he would have made up a bad impression about me in his mind by now, considering my history and the purpose that brought me here. I just hope things don't get worse after getting acquainted with him.

We are already exhausted as we leave the park and head out later in the afternoon. After being drained out of energy, we decide to grab something to eat nearby. We go around visiting a few more places before we head to get a pleasant view of the seaside. Nicole loves beaches, so we spend some time there on the shore of La Jolla Cove. The place is pretty crowded, but it's worth the scenic view. We walk over the sand and as the cool sea breeze hits my skin, my mind goes back to recollect everything that has happened in the last few days.

I think about the time when I got a call from Max. I think about how I demanded Richard to tell me the truth. I still remember the sick smile he was carrying on his face after he finished narrating everything. It was dreadful. The moment I let my mind dwell on his words, I was paralyzed. My head was literally blown with every piece of the secret he unraveled, but I tried hard to not let him know. I tried hard to keep my sanity and stability together. I knew I couldn't let it reflect because if he knew that I was loathing his existence with each sentence and making my mind to go against him, he wouldn't have let me step my foot out of that warehouse.

Richard thought his truth will destroy me. He thought I was going to accept my defeat and agree to stay trapped in his cage, knowing that it was the only path to my redemption with all the guilt and pain he had tried to inflict on me. So I let him keep his false belief. I let him take pleasure in it temporarily. I led him on to think that he won this game. I led him on to believe that I lost all my hope against him and that I am ready to carry the legacy of his fake reputation in the fucking business.

But deep down, I had sworn to myself that I would ruin him. I would expose all his dirty deeds. If I was going to get caught, then why not, I might make sure to carry him to the prison along with me? That's why when Nicole asked me about getting help from her father, I agreed.

Richard wasn't aware that my business with Joseph was done. So Max insisted that he could reason him my absence for being out of the city to get Joseph's work done. Max is good at managing such things, so I wouldn't doubt his capability. But he also pointed that it wouldn't be possible for him to hold this lie for too long so we had to hurry up with whatever plan we have.

I didn't realize it back then when I agreed to come to San Diego, but now, as I see Nicole's smiling face in front of me, I could feel the dread take over my body. I realize what a terrible decision I have made. I know Richard is someone not to be messed with, yet I did the blunder of getting Nicole involved in this. Why had I been so stupid? As I think about all his vicious confessions, I let myself wonder about the black SUV which attacked us on the night we went to see Millie. Was it sent by Richard too? He didn't mention anything about it, but I have a strong gut feeling that he could be behind it.

I now regret telling Nicole everything and agreeing to the plan of seeking help from her father. After having a terrible mental breakdown with all the information that I have discovered about my past, the only thing that's keeping me sane is Nicole's presence around me. She is my most precious possession, and I can't be selfish to let her get hurt by trying to help me. Memories of the night when I told her everything begins to flood and the only thing that seems to be stuck in my mind is Nicole saying-'I love you'. A bolt of electricity runs through my body when I think of that memorable moment.

I feel like I could die as a happy man now, after knowing that Nicole loves me.

After spending some time at the beach, we go to our last spot, which is the seaport village. It hardly took 30 minutes for us to reach the destination. I could feel the Christmas spirit here, with all the decorations and smiling faces around. People really seem to be enjoying their weekend.

I stand next to Nicole as she gets ice cream from the girl on an ice cream cart. She smiles, saying something to that girl, and I admire how beautiful she looks in that yellow summer dress. She has a tinge of blush over her cheeks as her skin radiates brightly under the sun, and I wonder what makes her glow so much today. She has always been the prettiest woman in the world for me, but there is something certainly different about her today. I don't know, maybe spending time with her family has proved very beneficial in bringing out the hidden gleam on her face. I let my eyes waver around and notice a gift shop across.

Nicole seems to be still engrossed in her conversation as I say to her. "I'll be back just in a minute." She nods and turns again as I make my way to the gift shop.

It's a small shop with a lot of miniature gifts. There are different things here, along with jewelry and showpieces. I look around the shop and search through the things before settling to get one that catches my eyes. As I am paying bills to the shopkeeper, I hear Nicole call my name.

"Christopher?" She waves and signals to come over. I see that she is holding an ice cream for me.

It still pains me when she calls me by Christopher. I know I can't claim myself to be Leo because I don't remember the part of my life when I was Leo and I can't digest the fact that I carry the name of a dead person whose identity has been forced onto me unknowingly. But as much as I think I can avoid all this and run from the situation, I know I can't. Because it wouldn't make any difference. Even if I'll change my name, I know I can't get rid of this fucking face. To the world, I am still the gangster Christopher Harris and there stands no other option than to accept the bitter reality and suck up the pain.

"What were you doing there?" Nicole asks when I get back to her. She looks over my shoulder curiously.

"Actually, I got something for you."

"For me? What's it?" She asks in a chirpy tone.

"Can you just turn around?" I ask, a bit hesitantly. I am not sure if she's gonna like it.

She turns around and I put a silver chain around her neck. She has her hair up in a ponytail, so it doesn't get difficult for me. It's a simple necklace with a glass pendant. But what's special about it is it has a piece of seashell inside the glass on which words are engraved in Spanish.

Tu eres mi esperanza

Tú eres mi luz

Tu sonrisa me da una nueva vida

She reads the words slowly and then looks at me. "It looks beautiful. I guess it's in Spanish. What does that mean?"

Before I can clear my throat and speak anything, I hear someone say it aloud. "You are my hope. You are my light. Your smile gives me a new life." We both turn together to look at the ice cream vendor.

She sniffs and apologizes, looking embarrassed. "Sorry to ruin your moment, but I just couldn't hold it back. You guys are so cute together."

"How do you know Spanish?" Nicole asks her with a look of surprise on her face.

"I work as a part-time guide and engage tourists when I am not selling ice cream or at school." The girl shrugs.

"You are so little to be doing all those things," Nicole says worriedly. I then realize what Nicole is trying to say. The girl indeed doesn't even look like a high schooler.

"Do you work alone all day?" I ask her.

"Oh, no. My father stays with me. He owns that shop." We look towards the opposite side to where she is pointing. It's the same shop from where I bought the necklace for Nicole.

I look back at her bike and realize now why she has kept her ice cream cycle right in front of her dad's shop.

"Nice marketing strategy," I laugh, and the girl grins.

"I know people can't resist going inside my dad's shop while they wait for their ice creams." She says sheepishly, making me and Nicole smile.

"You know what? I am so happy that I am gonna give you guys extra ice creams for free." She claps her hands excitedly after a minute and reaches to open the cooler.

"No, we can't take it," Nicole protests.

"You have to. It's my thing. I always get miserable looking at all these lovey-dovey couples here." She laughs and begins to search through her cart.

Nicole turns to me and gives me an awkward look. I place my hands over her shoulders and smile. "Don't worry. I won't leave without paying."

Nicole nods, looking down, and her eyes gleam when she stares at the locket. "Oh, I forgot to thank you." She bites her lip and then looks up at me. "This means the world to me. Thank you!"

"I am glad you like it."

"It's so gorgeous. I love it." She says, grinning. She then puts her arms around my neck and pulls me down for a kiss.

                                                                    -----------------------

In the evening, we take a taxi and head to the address that Nicole's father texted her. I am too anxious about knowing how things are going to work from now. I try to assure myself that I am not nervous, but deep down, I know I am. I am going to meet Nicole's dad for the first time and I hope I don't mess up anything.

We reach his office at seven. It's a bit far from the city and seems like a private office. I take a deep breath when we stand at the entrance, feeling more nervous with every passing second. Nicole senses my body getting tensed next to her. She takes my hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze as I look at her. She smiles and pushes the door, leading me into her father's office.

The office looks decent, with a wooden desk in the center and bookshelves on both sides with a door to the balcony on another side. I notice Nicole's father sitting behind the desk, reading something as we enter. When he looks at Nicole, he stands up, and I can't miss the change in his expression when his eyes fall upon me. His face hardens as he looks at me. And suddenly I feel conscious about my appearance. I guess I should have put on something more formal than my usual leather jacket.

"Christopher Harris." I extend my hand, trying not to look too uncomfortable. But it just gets more awkward when he doesn't shake it. 

He just nods with a serious look and says. "Officer Mark Johnson from SSPD."

Mark is around my height, and from his physique, I can say he is a fit man. I let my hand fall to my side abruptly and give him a slight nod.

"Sit down." He says, and I could sense the coldness in his voice.

I take a seat in front of him and try to ignore how intimidating his tone had been. I frown when Nicole walks past me to his side and leans against the bookshelf. But then I realize what she is trying to do. She looks at me and gives me a comforting smile. She wants me to focus on her rather than her father, so I could feel less nervous. Taking her indication, I return a smile to her and then look back at Mark.

"Not many people know about this place. This is my private office and I keep it to work on my special cases. I thought it would be the right place for us to meet." He states, wiping his spectacles and looks at me.

"I think we don't have much time to waste." He purses his lips and then suggests. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

I turn to glance at Nicole for a moment and then look back at Mark and nod.

Initially, it's painful for me to narrate everything that Richard has revealed to him in detail, because it makes me replay the entire horrifying scene in front of my eyes. But Nicole's presence there makes me feel less nervous talking about it again. Mark doesn't speak in between, as he listens to me keenly. After I am done telling him about my accident, I proceed to talk about The Cobra. I tell him about our gang, members, our bases, and every single piece of information that Richard has let me know in the last three years. As time passes, I feel myself easing up in Mark's presence. I keep glancing at Nicole once in a while, and it just makes me feel better and confident as I speak.

We then head to chalk out our work plan. As we discuss, I suggest to Mark about recording my statements and presenting them as evidence before the law, but Mark simply denies that idea. He argues that it would mean getting me involved in everything. He looks back at Nicole and reasons that we are doing all this just to keep my name away from the mess. The way he says that makes me understand that he isn't pleased with this, but he is doing it anyway for Nicole. I know how stubborn Nicole is. She wants this to be her way, and that involves not seeing me behind the bars. I honestly don't care about surrendering. In fact, it was my prior plan and I would have happily done that, but just for the sake of keeping my promise to Nicole, I am not doing it. I just want to be with her as much as she wants.

In the end, we opt for the classic reason of getting a lead from an anonymous caller. Mark plans to get my statements written on paper, and then he states he would let it present before his team as a secret caller helping the police department to get down the popular Mafia in the states. Once his team agrees, he assures us to go on coordinating with other departments. He is so confident about this idea because he knows in such cases police don't pry into the caller's whereabouts, knowing the threat they possess to hide their identities. So they just go behind the information once they find it to be genuine.

We don't have any evidence against Richard for what happened to me in Cantabria, nor do I remember anything from that event to prove him guilty. Richard would have been smart enough to destroy everything in these three years and even if he had left some traces, we don't have enough time to go behind searching for it. So, I had to have my memories back to prove him guilty for that part and I don't know when I'll be able to get them, but for now, we have sufficient information in our hands to put him in the prison. It's time for all his dirty businesses to get exposed. It's time for him to suffer for ruining so many lives, including mine.

I just want to see him rot in jail for his deeds. That would be more than enough for me, even if he wouldn't get punished for what he has done to me. At least, I would be happy knowing that he would be gone from my life once and for all.

After we are done for the day, Mark says. "We'll meet tomorrow again." I stand up and nod, looking at him.

I look at Nicole trying to signal her if we could leave but before she could respond Mark speaks again. "Christopher, let me get one thing straight to you. I don't like you." I shift my eyes back to him. He didn't have to say, I knew that since I stepped my foot in his office.

"Dad..." Nicole interrupts, taking a step forward, but Mark raises his hand to stop her.

"Let me finish, Nicole." He asserts in a serious tone and looks at me. Nicole bites her lip, worriedly knowing that something is up with her father. She looks at me nervously and I gesture her to calm down.

When I look back at Mark, he says. "The only reason I am helping you is because of my daughter. I love both my girls very much." He purses his lips and continues. "I know I haven't been a great dad to Nicole. And I don't hold the right to say it because I have hurt her." He sighs, looking down, and I could sense the guilt he is feeling for what he has done to his family. But after a moment when he again looks at me, his eyes seem to hold an alarming gaze. "But trust me when I say I would spare no one when it comes to her safety. Hope you understand how serious I am."

"I do," I state, looking into his eyes.

"She is the most important thing that I have in my life." He then adds in a low tone, focusing his stony gaze on me.

I know what he is trying to make clear. I turn to look at Nicole and smile before turning my gaze back to her father. "For me, she is my life." I say.