What was the purpose of life? Of anyone's life? Of your life?

You had your eyes fixed on your palm as you examined it. You saw each crease form as you closed your palm and reopened it. Bored from that, you stood up and decided to walk back into the forest.

You had wandered off that morning from your training, abandoning all hope you had left. You were tired of all the training that you had been doing, thinking of how useless it would be. You failed many exercises and knew how bad you were doing. You felt like you no longer had a drive to do just about anything.

A strong gust came upon as you walked out of the forest and into a large grassy field. Stretching your arms out, you slowly took your shoes off and felt the grass between your toes. It tickled against the skin on your feet. You closed your eyes to remember the feeling as you inhaled a large breath, smelling the air of nature around you.

You didn't stop walking for one second. The trees that were in the distance began to show themselves with each step you took that was closer to them. Your foot rested just enough distance away from the edge so you could feel the height you were at. You stood at the very top of a cliff that hung over more forest and grass.

Maybe it was time.

You could feel the rush if excitement travel inside your veins as you looked down to see how far the bottom was. You knew you were crazy but what if you were to jump at that second? No one would be there to stop you anyway right? So what the heck. It didn't matter to you anyway either since you felt it was a better way to go than die in the hands of a titan.

And at that moment, you let it all go. You brought you foot out over the edge and saw how nice it looked against the small trees that waited for you on the bottom. You pushed your weight down against your remaining foot to give yourself a boost so you could fall over. You didn't know why but you smiled at the thought and felt yourself already falling. But your balance was thrown off when you heard shuffling steps.

"_______!" There were puffs of deep breathes until you heard the steps come closer. "What are you doing?!"

You turned back only to find a distraught Eren, sweating bullets down his face.

"I've been searching for you, what are you doing over there?"

Both of your feet had rested on the earth now. You clenched your fists because there would be someone to stop you from jumping. "Eren.. What are you doing here?" You didn't want to look back at him so you turned from him.

"I just said I was looking for you. What are you doing over there, get back here!" He started getting closer to you and you stuck your foot out.

"What are you doing?" You said again with a stern expression.

"That's not funny, do you know what you're doing!?" He was growing more angry than he already was.

"They're waiting for me.. I can't keep them waiting." You answered.

"Who's waiting? The only ones waiting is us! We're worried sick because you ditched the training today." He yelled.

"What does that matter.. you only want me back so you could use me just as another soldier. It was a mistake to even become a trainee. It was a mistake to be alive.."

"_______, listen to what you're saying. You sound so selfish. What's wrong with you!?"

"There's nothing wrong. I'll show you that there's nothing wrong." You looked back at him. His expression softened and he saw you give him a smile. "Eren, I'm sure we'll all meet someplace else, and this place is not it.."

"Shut up will you!?" He was too afraid to step up thinking that it would just make you jump off the edge. He helplessly stood there trying to call out to you but you drifted further. "_______, I don't know why you're acting this way but just come back!"

"Eren.." You looked down. "You're too late." You pushed your feet against the grass and now you were soaring. You felt the strong air press against your body as gravity pulled you down to the earth. "This is it.." you whispered to yourself as a tear escaped your eye.

"_______!!!!!" Eren yelled as he leapt off the edge of the cliff. He was lucky enough to have his maneuver gear and so he used his gas to catch up to you. He wrapped an arm around you and held you before shooting out his wire on a nearby tree. He swung from there and the two of you rolled onto the forest floor.

The two of you stopped as you hit against the trunk of a tree. You tried to squirm out of his arms but he held onto you tightly. "Eren! Let go of m-" You were cut off as you felt Eren's lips against yours.

"You need to shut up with your mouth you know that, _______?" He pushed himself away from you and stood up. "What the hell are you thinking trying to commit suicide. Are you seriously that stupid to just throw your life away!?"

His green eyes stared you down in a way you never seen before.

"If you're that desperate here." He slid a blade out and pointed it at you. "Would you rather have me kill you right here? Or what?" He threw the blade on the ground in front of you. "How about you just kill yourself right in front of me. You're pathetic. You really don't deserve this life of yours so just kill yourself right here. And don't hesitate."

You couldn't move at all because of how shocked you were. You could only look up at Eren who towered over you. And you could tell just how angry he had become. You were too scared to move a muscle.

"What are you waiting for!? Hurry up and just kill yourself. You were just about to do it earlier, weren't you!?"

You finally hung your head and felt your eyes water. You didn't know how else to deal with the emotions that were raging in your chest and you cried. You couldn't contain your voice as you let out a small scream that would soon grow louder and louder.

Why am I crying? A still voice asked you in your head. You really were pathetic to be crying after such a scene but the tears flowed. They wouldn't stop no matter how it felt. You just couldn't help yourself either, it felt good to cry.

Soon, you felt two arms cradle you. You fell into Eren's chest as he rubbed your back. You didn't want to face him but you let your arms out so you could embrace him and hold him. You cried into his chest as he comforted you. He rocked you back and forth to calm you down.

"Shhh.." He squeezed you tighter. "It's okay, _______. You're alright with me."

"I-I'm sorry.." You cried into his chest harder.

"Don't worry, _______. It's alright.." Eren kept rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you finally calmed down enough.

"_______, look.." He was holding your shoulders and faced you. "I don't know what you were thinking but never do that again." He placed his hand on your cheek and wiped away the remaining tears in your eyes. "You really shouldn't have done something like that."

You couldn't force yourself to speak or even reply to Eren so you just stayed silent. You didn't even look in his eyes.

"It must be a tough time for you right?" He held your chin and brought it up. "_______, look at me."

You turned your head away so he wasn't holding your chin anymore.

"_______..." He reached out again and faced you towards him. "I'll just kiss you again then."

"W-what..?" You instantly looked at him.

Eren chuckled as he leaned in close to you but you turned away. "Heh, you're too fast."

"What are you doing Eren!" You pushed him away.

"Trying to cheer you up.." He smiled as he leaned back on his arms. "You know what..?"

"What?"

"I don't get it.."

"You don't get what, Eren?"

"How can someone like you ever think about taking your own life..?" Eren sat back up and leaned forward.

You were caught off guard but thought of your reply. "It's hard.. There's just so much going on.." You sighed.

"Well, you shouldn't think that way.." Eren grabbed your hand. "You know, whenever you need something, come talk to me."

"I-I know.. it's just.. I couldn't bear the weight of this life anymore.. I needed to get away.."

"_______, next time don't run off alone. I'm always here for you. You can't fight it alone, so fight with me.." He placed his other hand under the hand he was already holding.

"Thanks.." You place your hand over his. "I guess I didn't realize that..."

"Of course. I'm always here, so don't do anything stupid like that again." He pulled you into his chest and hugged you. "Your life is very important and you shouldn't even think about throwing it away so easily."

"Thanks Eren, I know that now." You smiled through the light tears that streamed down your face.

"You better know that."

-- I feel like I could have wrote this better but since I took so long, I'll just leave this here for you guys