|| HIS POV ||

The first seven days were like wandering in the fog for him. Like a child, whose favourite teddy bear had been taken away, he was still waiting for you, hoping, that everything would just return to its place. The first stage - total denial. His mind, and especially his heart, did not want to realize, what had really happened and that from then on he must learn to live without you.
He spent this week in complete solitude, not allowing anyone to come to him. Even though the rest of the band tried their best to get him out of this state, he stubbornly stayed locked in his apartment.

Sometimes he would only go to your door, knocking on it softly, with the foolish hope, that you would open it. Knowing you weren't there, he just sat there, spouting monologues you wouldn't hear. But that didn't ease the pain he felt in his heart.
Last night of that nightmare week, he had fallen asleep leaning against that door, crouched like a beaten dog, his phone clasped in his hands.

This was probably the eighteenth number he tried to contact you from. He kept hitting the wall, facing further adversities. You blocked each of them with determination, did not answer even once, the messages were left unread, as if you had not just left home but died, leaving behind nothing but unsaid matters.
It was hard for him to accept it. All he thought about was the ways he could fix it. But he couldn't turn the time back, that's the only thing he couldn't deal with, because otherwise ... he was ready for anything. He could jump into the fire for you, leave the band, move to the other side of the world, change into whoever you want. But all the promises, the pleas he made, remained only in his mind.

He was exhausted. Everyone knew about it. Nobody dared to bring up your topic. Everyone tiptoed around him, trying to pretend, that everything is alright, as much as they could.
Nobody commented on him being late for training sessions, absences from joint meetings, hours spent on the phone when he tried to contact you, for the hundredth time, hoping that a miracle would happen and you would answer the phone.

You ripped his heart out. Though he himself knew he was playing with yours. But first love always grabs the strongest way, makes even the smallest splinter grow into the deepest cuts.
He knew if he let go now, you would be gone forever. He refused to let in the thoughts, that you're gone.

Eventually he ran out of options. He did not have your new address, he did not know whether you left the country, returned to your parents or maybe you stayed with a friend. He didn't know any of these places, he had no number for any of them. He was powerless, in such a large city it was practically impossible to meet you even by accident.
His mental state deteriorated greatly. Remorse and the rush of thoughts prevented him from getting enough sleep. The training sessions did not give him any satisfaction anymore, and the realization that a world tour had just begun terrified him. He knew he might not be able to handle it.

The rest of the band expected him to return to normal state. There were six of them, he was just one. After all, he couldn't let them all down same like he failed you.
He really wanted to participate in their lives anew, in the activities that they have always had as a team. But it wasn't that easy. It's as if someone shattered him into a thousand pieces. And even when they put him back together, he wasn't the same laughing and life full Kook anymore. He was like a ghost wandering about. Not alive anymore, but still not dead. Undead.

With such an unstable mental state, he had to embark on a tour, that started in full swing. In all other circumstances, he would be the happiest boy in the world, as concerts in different parts of the world allowed them to visit new places. And this, apart from dancing and singing, he loved the most.
Now he was enjoying nothing.
Even though from the outside it might seem that everything was fine, he was a total mess.
He gave his best on stage, each performance was 100% perfect.
But every second was a nightmare for him. He was counting down the days, when it will be all over and he will be able to bury himself under the blanket again. He didn't want to and didn't even intend to fight it. If he had to give up or disappear - he was ready for it. He didn't want to and couldn't imagine his life, if he couldn't explain everything to you.

He was going through a nervous breakdown. Everyone knew it, he didn't deny it himself.
In the breaks between songs he cried on stage, he could not cope with it or control it. After the concert, he ran away as quickly as possible, he didn't joke or talk to the fans, he didn't smile and run happily like their favourite maknae. He didn't say hello or goodbye, he just did his duties and disappeared like a ghost right after them.

Another trip and another concert. Eyes of all six of them, were on him. And even though he was biting his lips before going on stage and trying to calm his breathing ... he burst into tears again, looking in vain for you among the fans. Somewhere deep down, your face in the purple light, that he always loved so much ... it was a dream that became the priority but never came true.
And once again, at the backstage, everyone exchanged glances, silently agreeing that this cannot continue. They just didn't know how to go about it, how to start talking to him about such a difficult and sensitive topic for him, how to say your name again, which brings up more and more litres of tears each time.
In such an understatement, a stagnation, where Jungkook was not improving at all, and the rest was still stuck with a willingness to help ... another whole month passed.

Apparently time heals all wounds. Jungkook didn't know who said it first, but he was sure of one thing - time doesn't heal wounds, it only gets you used to the pain.
And if you feel pain every day, how can you forget the cause of the pain?
So things were getting worse day by day. Finally, on the verge of mental endurance, he decided to seek some relief.

In order to drown out his remorse and the grief that tormented him, he threw himself into the vortex of work. He trained for such long till his body refused to obey. Thus, physically exhausted, he would fall asleep easily, unable to dwell on the past.
He quickly found out, that this was the perfect way to stop thinking about you.
Even a smile crept on his lips, though it looked terrifying from the side.
He lost a few kilos, he walked with dark circles under his eyes. Tae had seen Jungkook drag his body with the last of his strength from the training room home many times, only to sleep for a few hours and work himself to the limit again.
He thought nothing could break him. But he was not indestructible either.
One day he crossed that thin line. It was beyond his ability.

That day, everyone unanimously said: enough.
Jimin couldn't look at him anymore.
"Let's talk to her. We have to do this. You know perfectly well he won't give up."

Hoseok looked sad. This situation seemed hopeless. Or at least he hadn't seen a solution to heal the wounds that were opening up in their beloved youngest brother every day. "I promised to take her to dinner. It was a long time ago and under completely different circumstances, but maybe she will at least agree to a meeting?" he offered after a moment.

Yoongi sighed deeply. "Both you and Jimin tricked her. You met her, and yet, having the opportunity to tell her everything, you both remained silent."

"And you were better?" Hobi cut in immediately.

"At least I tried. Jungkook silenced me immediately, but I remember how she looked at me then. She knew then that something was wrong. With just a look, she thanked me for even trying. I am not saying, that she will agree to meet me, but I certainly have a better chance than you. And the rest of you, YN does not even know, so there is no point even trying. I'll call her later and see what I can get done. "

Everyone agreed with him. The chances were slim, but always some. And they were going to use every opportunity to help him. They were worried. They were afraid like never before.

|| YOUR POV ||

When you closed the door of your apartment, your heart broke into a million pieces. It hasn't been that long since you moved in. But every moment here, from the first evening on, was unique. All thanks to him. Jungkook made sure you weren't lonely, that from day one you had someone who made even the most difficult day seem easier. The more you could not accept the fact, that such a close person played you so cruelly.
You pulled your suitcase behind you and got into the taxi without even looking back.

When you stood at the door of Sang-hee, she didn't ask anything. The mere sight of you, the tears streaming down your cheeks, and the suitcase, the hand of which you squeezed with all your might, was more than enough for her.
She hugged you tightly.
"Whatever happened, YN, I'm here for you."

You appreciated, that she didn't ask for anything more, didn't press anything, giving you all the space you needed.
You didn't want to tell her everything yourself either. She took it as a joke right from the start and you didn't want to try to prove to her something, that was breaking your heart.
Maybe when the time will heal you, you will be ready to talk about it. And Sang-hee was well aware of that.

For the first week, your phone kept ringing. Hundreds of messages came to you. You didn't even read them. It didn't matter to you whether it was message from him or from parents, or even from work ... They all ended up in the bin without reading.
And those calls ... The phone rang non-stop. A different number each time. You weren't stupid, you knew Jungkook was trying to contact you by all possible ways.
You were stubbornly blocking each of them. Until the phone finally went silent. You weren't sure if you felt relieved or if the stinging in your chest increased.

But you were sure of one thing: when a wound is contaminated, it must be cut quickly. Otherwise you will poison yourself whole.
And so you did.

A month has passed. It was the most difficult month of your life.
You threw yourself into work, to take your thoughts away from your failed relationship, as soon as possible. You were coming home tired, but still you cried to your pillow all night.
You stared at dead point for hours.
You have become like a puppet without a soul, which, although it looked alive, only existed. Not alive, not yet dead. Undead.

Sang-hee didn't dare to ask, even though she heard you cry every night when she came home from work.
But when you lost weight and changed beyond recognition, she finally said enough.
Her goal was to get you better, as soon, as it would be possible. And even though you first argued with her and pushed her away, she continued to force you to live.
After hard trials, another long month had passed, something was finally starting to change.

You were slowly getting to your feet. Perhaps you did it because you were taught how to deal with difficult situations from an early age. Alone, in a foreign country, away from loved ones, you had to work out a way to survive. And now, in this situation, that instinct has awakened in you once again.
Maybe it was selfish - just to decide to start living anew without asking if he had moved too, but how can we worry about others when we are not whole ourselves?
Each subsequent day was getting easier. You haven't forgotten him, but you have drowned out the pain. Only scars remained of the wounds.
You started smiling again, though not like before. You slowly opened a new chapter in your life. You gave up this love. You tricked the mind into forgetting him already.

And just as you were about to take the first step towards the new ..., quite unaware of what difficulties he is going through ... He appeared before you once again. In a way you would never have thought. In last possible way, in which you desired to see him.

Breaking news:
Jungkook of BTS collapsed on stage.
Fans are worried.
What happened with their beloved idol?

Your heart almost stopped. You stared at the TV breathlessly, tears streaming down your cheeks out of control. You clenched your hands on the table top, with all your strength, until they turned into a cadaverous white.

Sang-hee put the facts together for the first time.
"So ... you ... was it really Jungkook?"

|| YOONGI'S POV ||

Yoongi came back early today from the recording studio. Immediately after Jungkook was discharged from the hospital after fainting suddenly from exhaustion, he took him to his place to keep an eye on him. The doctor had clearly instructed them, that the youngest must now rest and must not overstrain himself anymore. Knowing that he would not be home all the time, he asked Taehyung to keep him company.

Seeing them cuddled up on the couch and Jungkook sleeping like a gopher, he felt a little relieved. He was glad, that at least he could do that. But he was determined to help much more. He decided to contact you at all costs. He knew it was going to be tough, but he couldn't watch Jungkook suffer. It had to be resolved once and for all.
He wasn't going to force you to come back to him. But he hoped, you both could talk. If only for the last time, he would have a chance to explain everything. He did wrong, it was a fact, but he did not deserve to be rejected without hearing him out.

He left them in the living room and locked himself in his bedroom. He typed the number he had copied from Jungkook's phone with trembling hands.

One chance. If he will screw this up, they will be done.
Three long beeps. He was more than sure it would not work.

"Hallo?"
Your melodic voice made him grin from ear to ear.

"Please don't hang up, it's Yoongi."

"I'm sorry Yoongi, but I don't want to have anything to do with you."

"Wait, I swear to you, I'll only take a moment!" he almost screamed into the phone for fear that you might hang up. The silence on the other side scared him a little. "Hello? YN? Are you there? Please let me tell you something. I'm not asking for much."

You felt the tears come back to your eyes again. You thought you cured yourself of it. But the news and seeing Jungkook pass out shocked you to the bone.
You wanted to hang up, but you also wanted to know if he was okay, and now you kind of had the opportunity to do so. You took a deep breath.
"I'm still here Yoongi ... What did you want to talk about?"

You heard him exhale with relief. You fell on the bed, closed your eyes and waited for the words he wanted to say to you. You were scared. You didn't know what to expect. What if something happened to him? What if he got sick? What if it's because of me? You were struggling with your thoughts.

"Can we meet?" he blurted out suddenly.

You didn't know how to respond to this.
"I don't think there is a need for that."

"Please. I need to talk to you. Personally. I swear to you, it's only me. No pressure, just plain little talk."

"Yoongi ..."

"I thought we got on well. Back then, at the table ... when you almost found out. I really wanted to tell you."

"I know ..." you whispered feeling your resistance breaking.

"For the sake of that time ... agree to this one talk."

And you agreed, you sent him the address, hoping that he wouldn't betray you and pass it on to Jungkook.