"Please, take me." This little poor girl is pleading on me after she learn how dangerous the love could be. She is creeping to my shoes, holding it while crying. "Save me." But I have no time for this, so I took a step between her legs leaving her there alone. That's why girl must learn to not disturb what's not theirs.
"Panpriya, tell me what is it?" mom shouting on me when I arrived at home. She handed me the letter, and when I read it I look back at her.
"Mother." I call her but then she is crying, covering her mouth with her hand, step backward away from me.
"So they are right." She said still covering her mouth while her tears flowing down like waterfall. "You are the one who kill her." I still remember that night I run away to see the only person who will believe in me, who will hide me from this judgmental world in his embrace. Where I will feel safe and not to worrying anything.
"Are you crazy? So you tell them that Panpriya who did that?" I heard his voice when I am about to touch the knob of his house. I stand still hesitate to open in or just simply eavesdrop a little bit.
"So what should I say? That I am the one who ask her to cut her own wrist?" my whole body gone stiff when I heard a female voice shouting even louder than him. "And you will never tell anyone about this." Added her now lower. Everything just crashing into each other inside my head, what was going on in here?
"Tell me why?" he asked angrily.
"Because you love me."
--
"Panpriya." It had never been this hard for me to swallow my lump in my throat, it gone dry with every memories which is now playing inside my head. This is so funny, how everyone that I used to know bumping on me, the new me. The anger growing inside me, and I think I capable to spill the fire once I start to speak.
Fortunately someone is grabbing my hand from behind, the wet hand hold me so my feet could stay on the ground. I looked away to see Jungkook who is laying on the floor smiling at me. "Bring me home." He softly said and then I nodded holding both of his hand, helping him to stand up. And then walking away leaving that man behind.
--
"Miss Manoban. You are expelled from the school due to the recent incident matter." It's only me who should take all the blame on my shoulder. As the bullied girl, the dangerous woman of the century. My mother was crying non stop day and night because of that incident, she came almost everyday to only got rejected by Pim's mother. And no school would accept me.
Pim, Baifern Pimchanok is a sweet girl. A nerd one if I can tell. She is always been quiet since the day I met her at the entrance of the school as the fresh man. While me, one of the popular one. I am so full of myself back then, I look down everyone but me. No one can be higher than me, no one can be stronger than me. I always have what I want, and no one can take it from me.
And there I saw this boy, playful and so my type. His name was B.I, and I like him. After 3 months of our first school day, he ask me to be his girlfriend. I am so protective and crazy over this man. I do everything to make him stay, and I can see Natty in me. I always bullying other girls who seems had feeling toward him. And one day when I bump onto Pim accidentally, I make her books fall. I was helping her, that's when I found some pictures of my man, the candid one. That's when everything start.
And there was a friend of me, Jinny. If they said that I am the fire, so she was the gasoline. She always been there when I am bullying girls. She was a loyal friend of me, was. But she left. She told me that this Pim girl act like a stupid girl in front of my man, so he reluctantly help her. I was still trying to observe her, busy with her until I forget where's the Hanbin go all the time I am busy with Pim.
One day I am angry toward Pim and still remember how hard I slap her cheeks until her body met the floor. That's because that Saturday night when B.I should be with me, he never come. So I jump in conclusion that he might with her, with Pim. She only crying, and beg for my mercy. And then I left after I felt guilt to throw my anger toward someone who had no deal with my problem.
I was laying on the rooftop of the building when I heard someone fight. But I only stay still, everyone need to fight to clear their problem anyway. Until I heard no sounds anymore, so I wake up to see Pim. Bleeding. Her uniform was torn until I can see the color of her panties. She beg for my help, but I let her be. I left her alone, without think what might happen next.
She cut her wrist with the small blade I left on the floor, I used to cut my strawberry milk box with it. She hand been founded the next day, and they are all pointing their finger on me just because they saw me leaving the rooftop before. So it was her, it was Jinny who ask her to kill herself. So it's only my best friend, who took my dignity and also my soul with her.
I smile when I step from the head master's office, I smile at them. B.I and Jinny who's standing look down to the floor. I smile because I am finally aware, how stupid I was. I lost my friends and my love in one day. They left a week after I go, no one knows where.
I never blame them from everything I suffer till this day. I left with a smile and one sheet of paper which I left inside their locker. Because anger will never feel as painful as the sadness smile.
I lost someone who didn't love me.
But you lost someone who truly love you.
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