"Kookie." Flustered I hold his hand because he is about insert it inside me. He smiles while eating my lips hungrily and then held my hand, moving to my back, stroking my back slowly send shiver all over my body. It feels good, really really good. To take so much pleasure by his simple action I also run my finger on his back, and he seems liking it by growling lovingly nuzzling his nose to mine and kiss me more passionate than before.

"God, your lips is so sweet." He lowly growling under his breath make me smile, you too, Jungkook. "I addicted to your lips." Then he smash his lips against mine again and then spread my legs and he position himself between my legs. Playfully smirk on me.

"Kookie, please." I whined don't know what exactly I plea on him. I only talk what my brain ask me to. I touch the back of his neck and push him on me deeper, I want his lips on me forever, deeper and deeper till we collide as one.

I never been craving on someone like I feel to him. Sure, B.I was my first, but then when Jungkook touch me this way, I even wonder why can I waste my time for B.I back then. Why didn't I found Jungkook a little sooner. Why did I refuse to find father, so that I can see the little and pure Jungkook, and fall for him earlier, make him fall for me earlier. Because I want to be that Soomi or that Sewon who's leaving the deep impression on him, imprint in his memory till nothing can erase it forever. I envy them. Such a lucky girl.

I was deep in my thought till I don't know that he already take off his clothes, along with his pant. And now trying to undress me, unbuttoning my blouse while eyeing my face. I am blushing when I look at his eyes, that sparkling brown coffee eyes I've miss the most is there, looking at me lovingly, so warm. He then kissed the top of my head when he took away the blouse and my bra and start unzipping my pant. "Beautiful." He said softly make me shy and try to cover my bare chest. "Panpriya you are beautiful." He then took away the pant off of me and move closer to me, reaching my cheeks, caressing it kissing my nose. "Panpriya, I love you. Panpriya, I need you."

That's the first time I heard my name sounds so beautiful after the last day father call me asking me to entering the house when he left with his suitcase, asking me to protecting mom. I remember that. I remember that he ask me to protect mom, ask me to never forget him, to never change, to never stop believing that I am his most precious person in his life. And I betray him. I wake up from my thought when I feel something between my thigh, I try to look down but then he cup my face force me to look at his eyes again.

His eyes are full of emotion, happiness and pain and sadness and also the slightly feeling of loneliness make me smile to assure him that the life is still could be beautiful. "I love you." then I said make he put his beautiful bunny smile on his face. My precious one. I kiss his nose and whispering on his ears which is make him tense. "Take me with you."

He carefully then positioning himself and kissing my lips fully before looking into my eyes. "It will be hurts for awhile, I will hurt you again. But never forget, that I love you. I only want to show you how much you mean to me." My heart beat so fast hearing the love word from him more and more. And then he thrust his hips forward, kissing the lips buried the pain from my scream and left me with thousand butterflies inside my belly. "Barbie." Then he release the kiss when we found the rhythm, holding his breath while non stop pushing himself in me. While me, pretty busy digging my nail on his back while the other hand covering my own mouth to maintenance the loud I can always make.

"Let me hear your voice." He said keep thrusting himself, taking my hand from me and then kissing my neck, while growling like a wolf not forget to cursed under his breath.

"Kookie..ahh~" I am gasping when he thrust his hip sloppily while grabbing my hip, keep it there so he can go deeper and deeper. The pleasure make me feel dizzy and then when he engulf the nipples of my breast make something build inside my stomach, flowing like an electricity down to my woman hood. I can also feel the electricity come up from the toe to my knee and then focused on my womanhood. "Kookie oppa... I...I.." I am stuttering to feel such a burden feeling still wanting to tell Jungkook if I feel that way, I'll come.

"Not now." He growled and then turning around my body and inserting his member again inside me, make me feel tickle. But it feels better than before, it feels way better. But I can't see his face, I can't see how sexy he is when the wrinkled on his forehead appear as he hold the pleasure and try to still play me.

"Fuck. You taste like heaven." He growled breathless from behind make me smile shyly.

I can't see his face while moaning my name, I miss him already. But the feeling is so powerful. Different from before that he gently touch me, now he goes roughly on me, hardly smashing his member inside me make me scream on the bed, burying my face to the pillow. I feel that his member get throbbing inside me, as the feeling of that electricity come, then he bite my neck from behind and give me his last and strongest thrust while wailing my name along with my blurry vision.

"Barbie....." he shouted and then I feel something warm flowing inside me leaving him go weak, and laying his whole body on me. While me, for the first feel so light, as if the burden on my shoulder taken away in an instant. As if the grudge I've been holding toward mom, dad, B.I, Jinny and everyone got erased by the blissfulness he gave me tonight.

"Don't try to disappear." I faintly heard his voice near me before I go sleep due to tiredness he make me feel. "Because I love you." and there I smile, stupidly surrender on him fully, letting him to be my happiness because of that words. God, forgive me.

--

"Panpriya." I heard someone calling her name when we laugh watching one guy screaming from the roller coaster as we wait for our turn near the locket.

We turn around to the girl standing 2 meters away from us. She look at her in disgust while my girl sweet smile faded in an instant. "You are still alive." She then get closer to us and instinctively I move between them, being the shield for my barbie.

"Handsome, are you kidding me? Do you even know who she is?" I don't know what she said, I am not speak thai by the way. But I know from the tone that it's not gonna be a good thing, she is so rude and I want to tell her to stop. "I'll talk to you in English so you will know what kind of monster she is under that innocent face." She then speak to me in english. God, I am bad with english too. But I look at her still shielding my queen, act I know everything.

"She killed my cousins and simply run away." I know I am stupid but the word 'kill', I can understand what it mean. "Yes, she is a killer." Then she chuckled but I sense a bitter feeling from the tone. "She never pay for everything she did because her mother had the good lawyer after selling her mother's body to that Swiss chef."

"No." Then she move beside me, facing the girl which is now look at her angrily. "Don't ever drag my parents in our problem. You even don't know what exactly happen, you weren't there and judge me as if you saw everything." She then pour all of her emotion in front of the girl.

"Then what was really happen? The knife is yours, and we all know that you are jealous because B.I want Pim too, after he found out that you are boring." She clutched her hand tightly till her knuckle turn with holding her anger. "You have such a good life when my auntie should suffer her life inside the asylum." Then barbie gasp covering her mouth with her hand. "Yes, you are indeed the monster that could destroy everything in one touch."

--

I can only cry in silent when I heard the fact that I make more than one person life destroyed. I had destroy the whole family of Pim. She is so lovely but then why didn't I extended my hand and help her that day? Why did I left the knife on the floor? Why did I must love B.I and why did Pim should love him too? Why did I go heartless and careless toward other? Why did I live?

"And tell your mother to stop sending the money, because auntie always burn it while calling Pim's name." I look at the ground, feeling empty, did my mother try to buy Pim's life with money? "We will never forgive you, look at our terrible life and feel sad about it till it swallowed your happiness too. Watch us dying so you will never find happiness anymore." Then she left me there, some peoples surrounding me, murmuring and watching me in horror. Yes, I am a killer. I smile bitterly and collapse on the ground, I can't live like this.

I am not the one who's offering Pim the knife, I wasn't the one who torn her clothes. But I still that killer, because I refuse to care, I might not kill her body, but I kill her hope, pushing her soul to ended her life in one slice on her wrist.

"It's okay." I cry so hard till I forget that he is still in here with me, I don't know if he understand what Pim's cousin said to him, but the fact that he is not running away judging me make me feel happy. I look at him who's now sit on the ground beside me, he look at me sadly, as if he can feel the same pain as mine. "Even if it hurt, it's okay." He said and then I jump into his embrace, please hide me again Jungkook.

"I am sorry." I tell him. I am sorry that I was a bad person, and maybe that bad side of me still alive in me till now. I am sorry if I ruined other people life. I am sorry that I am not good for you.

"No sorry." He said then with bridal style carry me to the cab and ask the cab to bring us to the nearest hotel. He carried me still until we are inside the room, he put me on the bed and then try to release himself from me. Don't. So I hug him tighter make him stop what he do and hug me back. Minutes later my tears already stop flowing, I think the tears are out stock now. Because the pain is still remaining, it's only the tears which is can't appear anymore.

"Sssssshhhh~" he then try to calm me. "Please stop cry."

"I am sorry." That is what I could say for now to him. I am really apologized by how bad I am. "I am bad." I hit my head with my hand, but then he grab my hand while eyeing me.

"Barbie look at me." I am still rebelling try to take my hand from him, but he was too strong. "Don't let their words hurting you. Live your life, it's yours anyway. Don't try too hard. It's okay to be a loser. Who's the one who never do a stupid and sins before anyway?" he then shake my body hard make me crying again, with a loud voice, but the tears won't come.

"Please don't hurt mine like this." He then put his forehead on mine, sending his strength, wishing I can feel better. "I am here. You never walk alone, barbie. I am here."

"I am sorry." I keep saying the words as if it can washed away the sins I had done before.

"It will kill you if you are not telling the truth, tell me." He demand make me closer on him, still holding my both arms, jerking my body so I can focus. "tell me every terrible thing you have done and let me love you anyway." I look at him directly, and why did my heart aches. "Now forget all the sad memories, hold my hand and smile."

"I am here." I give up Jeon Jungkook. I tear down the wall I built for you. With trembling hand I touch her lips and then kiss him. Thank you, Kookie.

--

Ps : Guys I am not good at describing sexual activity. All I can think was only about a mellow or harsh thing. So sorry.