"Please stay away from her." I plea to her once Jisoo came in the middle of our bickering and take Jennie with her. She really got my nerves, why did she even bothered to make story line while Jimin and Yoongi hyung never tell me the same story. Jimin also Sewoni's brother, then why did she act like if she is the mother of Sewoni.
"But she is my friend." I grunted nervously when she still answering. "And why should I stay away from her when I don't really know who's wrong and who's right."
"So you said that I am wrong?"
"I don't know." She shout at me back when I pin her to the wall out of my anger. "I don't know, I never know what's the matter you two are bickering like that. I don't know, I am not a shaman, I don't know how to say who's wrong when you never tell me anything and when Jennie unnie want to tell me you keep saying that she lied."
"Because she did."
"So what's the truth?" she knocked me down with that question. I don't even want to talk about it again, just to hear Sewon name again after years hurt my heart so much. I am still not ready, my heart is still not ready. "Look, you never want me to be the part of your life." I look at her ashamed, I want you. But this is a different thing, this is hurt me, so much. "Never."
"I wonder if you ever know the meaning of the spells you said while you fuck me." of course I know, I know what it means. And I mean it, I love her. I do.
--
"Hey." I looked up to Natty who's now standing in front of me. I was sat on my seat at the canteen, waiting for unnies or Rose to come but no one is coming.
"Yes." I responded to her sincerely, since she already behaving toward me and Jungkook and also she looks okay now, no hates in her eyes, so I think it's not bad at all to have conversation with her. I am all alone now anyway. She then sit up in front of me, put her bag beside her and her soda in on the table, and put one sprite for me. "Thanks." I said smiling to her. She seems taken aback to see my smile, I even nodded on her. Look, I am a good woman when you are good too.
"They are not coming today, three of them." I nodded my head playfully while opening the sprite and sip it a little, how refreshing. "Wonder if something happen." Putting the bottle to it's place I face her. "Look, I am sorry for everything I did to you. I know it was too much. I was blinded for love. It was like-"
"I understand. Me too ever experiencing the same thing with your brother, if he even tell you." I tell her and she nodded, she knew.
"And he also said the truth." I look at her eyes straightly, did he? "And also Jinny unnie telling me the truth. She tells me everything make me change the way I see you ever." I smile wanting to know how Jinny's face when she tell Natty the truth.
"Don't know what they told you, but I am also not that innocent at all. Just don't be me. Stop fighting for a man. Look at me now, judge me and watch me as a specimen." I touch her hand, I will tell her everything what I supposed to do, what I want to hear for someone rather than their prejudice, how I want someone to tell me that I still have hope. "Stop chasing other." And I can look at her sad eyes when I hold her hand tight. "Love yourself."
Lisa, do you even know whats the meaning of the words you said? Why did you always dying to hear that words so bad from everyone, someone, anyone. But to look at me, their eyes went cold as the wind bring along the story of my past, they look at me as if I am the only sinner. The prejudice which is slowly killing me, along with my dying heart. Lisa, can't you love yourself?
"Thank you, Lisa. I believe you are a good woman. And Jungkook must be grateful to the god to have you." I smile bitterly. "And..." and then she come closer to whisper on me. "Be careful of that tiny monster."
--
"Where's Jennie unnie?"
"She went to New Zealand. She ask me to tell you something."
"What's that Jisoo unnie?
"Be careful."
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