"Marco." I wake up when a loud voice heard from the living room, I am not really sure, but it sounds like him. I check the clock on the table, its midnight, and what he wants if it's really him outside there. "Marco, let me go." I jerked my body and stand up immediately when I heard his voices again, it's really him. Sloppily wear sandal I half running to living room.

"You are not allowed to be in here, I am sorry Jungkook." Saying Marco hugging Jungkook's body trying to stop him. Mom only could see them, crossing her hand on her chest.

"You should not be in here." She said half growling.

"But mom."

"I am not your mother, don't call me that way anymore." She said full of hate. He looks at mom once again, sad eyes, and besides, he is drunk to feel angry for her rejection. He smirked and chuckled bitterly.

"Even you also rejecting me." He laughs bitterly. "Barbie also rejecting me. Where should I go?" he then shouts loudly at mom. "I am not bleeding but I am also in pain, I need my barbie. I need her. Please let me see her." I bit my lips as I see him screaming pathetically from Marco's embrace.

"I will send you home Jungkook." He said softly. I can see clearly how Marco loves Jungkook, he likes Jungkook like a son, he likes Jungkook also as a friend. They get along very well when he was stay in this house, Jungkook now could cook perfectly because Marco patiently teaches him. I know how obsessed Marco to have a son, but mom still can't give him one, that's why he always so soft toward Jungkook.

"Please Marco." He then grabs Marco's collar and like a kid whined on him. "She won't leave me, right? She won't hide at the place where I couldn't find her right?"

"You better go Jungkook." Mom cut his words impatient. "You don't have the right to know anything about my daughter. She is better without you."

--

He looks so pale when he shows his face at the canteen, dark circle under his eyes looks so bad. Two nights ago, Marco sent him to his family house after he passed out. I hate to see him being like this, stubborn and reckless. He always finds the way to find my weakness, he tries to destroy himself and show off in front of me. Make me want to ask him to stop torturing himself.

"Don't look at him." Without looking at me Jennie unnie command me to stop starring at him. He also looks at our direction, always do the same thing every time we are in the same area. Jimin oppa stop to ask me to try to talk to Jungkook after Rose explain to him that it might got worse than before when we get close. I nodded and looked down at my paper.

"Unnie, I need to go to toilet." I tell her and Rose immediately stand up ready to follow me, they have always been like this, never leave me alone 24/7. Always guarding me make me for once feel like a little bird who's trapped inside the gold cage. So, this is what Soomi said, about survive is not alive. She makes me experience that thing just now.

"You don't need to guard me like this you know." I tell Rose when she stands still in front of the faucet watching me as if I can always bleed by touching anything. I smile at her who's now get more relax after I say so.

"This is frustrating, Lisa. Everything just getting worse each day. Every day I always praying that there will be nothing bad happen to you, to us. I feel like can sense something bad is going to happen, it's on the way." She said in one breath. I hug her and pat her shoulder. I am sorry giving you hard time, I am sorry to drag you into my miserable life. I am sorry Park Roseanne.

"But you also must know that, after that stormy day, there will come such a beautiful rainbow." I tell her when I heard her sob. "Just wait, but you must promise me something." Then I release her from my hug, watching her eyes as I reach her both hands with mine. "You must stay away from me, Jinny and Jennie unnie as far as you can if it gets worse."

"What will you do?" she worriedly asks me.

"No, nothing. Just in case." I smile at her. "Please, don't be sad like this. Let's live like before, let's still laughing like the old time. Hm?" she nodded and wipe her tears and we are about to exit the toilet when someone come stop us.

"Please."

"I believe you said that you will protect me." I said clenching my jaw when I look at his eyes, the favorite one, still. "Stay away from me." I move forward to grab Rose's wrist and try to pass the boy in front of me, but he will never obey. I pass him and Rose but once Rose out from the door he forcefully pulls my wrist make my body jerked and come into his embrace.

"Please barbie, please don't push me. Just this one, just this one." He said and held me tight, I try to release myself but damn, I am nothing compared with his strength.

"You said you'll save me." I am crying now in his embrace, still try to beat his chest hard. All the anger, the disappointment out as the form of tears from my eyes. But I never bring myself to hate this man. I, still love him. The boy who tries to save everyone, the boy who never ask himself who will save him in the end.

"I am sorry. I am sorry barbie. I thought that I was strong enough. But I need you, I can't live without you, as if it hurts my lungs for every breath I inhale without you by my side." He starts his butterfly kiss on my head, my temple. "I am sorry to not be there when you are in pain. That I choose to stand there with someone who try to hurt you."

"You know?" gasping I look up in his eyes. How he knows? He nodded and then he bit his lips.

"I want to run to you, but what if she kills you." he then cry like a boy in front of me, hiccupping and tears flowing like waterfall make me have an urgent to bring his head to my chest, I hug him. "I want to run to you and take you to fly away with me. But I have no wings anymore. I have no wings to save you. I am useless." He then slaps his head brutally with his both hands make me hold his hand.

He keeps on crying and then we sat on the floor, I hug him, hide him inside my embrace when the unnie's come. I thought that Jennie unnie will be angry and kick him but turn out she stay still at her spot. Watching him crying like a baby with me. Somehow, I relieved that she understands what he feels, somehow, I feel grateful for it.

"It's okay Kookie, I'll give you the new wings to fly." I said softly to him, caressing his back as I look straight to Jennie unnie's eyes.

You hear me Jennie unnie.

--

"I tell you to not come to this house." Shout mom once she found out that I bring him with me to our house. I hold his hand tightly as I keep our step to my room. "Panpriya, let him go. He shouldn't be in here." She said angrily when I am about to entering my room. I stop my track when she calls me by that name.

"Do you forget what he makes you feel? Look at your wound, it still fresh." She come up stair, but Marco holds her. "No, Marco. Don't you dare. This is for her safety."

"This is my life mom." I said softly. "This is the part of my journey and I want to find out how to face this." I tell her calmly despite of my trembling hand, nervous. I don't know if this is a good decision to choose to keep him with me, but who cares? With or without keep close to him, Soomi still trying to kill me, she won't stop just like Jinny told me. And now Jungkook need me, I won't give her what she needs when Jungkook himself didn't want her.

"There is nothing to face, this is only trouble. You will thank me later if you let him go right now." She still insists.

"I am sorry mom." he said bravely.

"Don't call me mom!"

"Don't hurt him again!" I shout back at mom when she shouts on him. Mom startled when I do so.

"Look at you, Panpriya Manoban. Look at you now." She smiles bitterly pointing at me. "Look how he stole you from me too now."

"Look how that thief also change you."

--

"Are you sure you won't regret this?" he asks me when we are on the train heading to Busan, we are running from the house. He softly asks me despite of his tired state, his eyes look so heavy. I smile and caressing his bangs.

"I won't." I assure him make the smile back, catching my hand in his. He then brings my hand to his lip, kiss it softly.

"You know that I feel like the happiest man in the world now." he said with his smug smile. "But I wish I could make mom liking me again, we can't do this forever." then he said sadly. I shook my head while eyeing him.

"Stop worrying everything, Kookie. Let's have fun, let's enjoy the moment." I tell him and he seems agree with my thought as he nodded and smile at me, taking my chin bring my lips onto his. My eyes go wide as he kisses my lips on the train, there are peoples watching us. I want to stop him, but the needed and the selfish of me greater than my dignity. Fuck off with the dignity. I don't need them.

"I love you." he whisper softly as he drifts on his dream, I look at that face once again, the innocent and beautiful face of him. I miss him so much, no matter how selfish and greedy he was, like what Yoongi oppa told me before, he is only that innocent boy who over watered his plant. The boy who doesn't know when to stop to give.

I love you too Jungkook. I love you to the point I will risk everything for your better life, everything.

I kiss his cheek and instantly a tiny smile painted on his lips, try hard to hold my tears slowly I get up and leave him.

Please, have a good life, Jeon Jungkook.

"I love you."