"Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment. I wasn't ready for that moment to end." 
― Ellen Hopkins   

  "Isaac," Lawrie said with a knowing smile on his lips, "Why do you feel like you should save Zoey, and do away with this time loop? Why do you feel more confident about things now?"

  I stopped pacing back and fourth in my room. And looked at him blankly. 

  Thinking for a moment, it occurred to me just then that I never thought to sit down and ask myself what my purpose was. It was always Save Zoey! Save Zoey!

  Why did I never truly give up?

  What kept me going?

  I gotta admit, at first I was a little selfish about things. My focus was only getting out of this time loop. I may have seemed ingenious at times, like Uncle Les had put it, especially towards Zoey. But I was better now, and I was trying to accomplish this feat for myself, and Zoey. She needed to know that she was put on this Earth for a reason. I couldn't tell her that reason because I necessarily didn't know, but she could still do well, and I could still do well. 

  "Because it's upsetting to see a person so upset. Ya know, who wants to take their own life, without having gotten to know what true potential they had. I- I just don't understand."

  Lawrie Odin nodded like he understood my point. But I continued anyway.

  "I've learned a lot of things lately Lawrie, and if it's one thing, high school and life in general is one of those things that seem to go on forever, until at one point, you really realize that it is, in fact, over.

  "And I do, in a way, understand what having depression is like. After my parents divorced it had seemed like nothing was ever going to be the same again, and it's hard. You want to go back and time and prevent things, you get a little  bit more controlling, you start questioning things, and at this point you wish that you didn't exist.

  "Admittedly, I still do have moments like those, and they sometimes seem to get worse. Zoey, in that letter, wrote that she's been depressed for a long time. No one saw that. I would assume her mother worked too late to ever notice the depression, and that sucks. What should I do differently Lawrie? I haven't given up yet, and I know, I know! I have very little time. So...what should I do? I can't fail--that's the hard part. Not failing!"

  Lawrie nodded, and motioned for me to calm down. "Isaac, you were almost successful last time, right?"

  I nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, but she still did it anyway."

  "Yes, she still did do it Isaac, but you have to keep the faith. You have to keep on trying!"

  "You don't think I know that? I'm nervous, okay?!" I sighed out of frustration. "She needs therapy, and I can't help her get out of her depression."

  "Think about a chain reaction Isaac. What starts a chain reaction?"

  "I don't know..."

  "One thing. One thing does. One thing before that thing does. And after that one thing does the job, all of it goes off."

  "I don't get it."

  "You'll understand."

  "Yeah, whatever."

  "Be like that then Isaac."

:: :: ::

  Lawrie Odin left me to deal with this dilemma on my own. I knew I'd have to go down stairs in a couple minutes and prove to Mom that her own son was stable and well. Even though, I was at the moment, trying to get myself out of having another break down.

  This was it. I was crouched at the starting line. I couldn't possibly jump the gun, if I did, I would've never started in the first place.

  Same goes for football, I couldn't do shit until I got my hands on the ball.

  When did Zoey Graves' heart truly break? When did she start to lose hope in all people? What was the final straw?

  How did I get out of my depression?