16 May, 2019.

In light of recent events, I wanted to write how my persona in character felt discovering... what they did.

I'm not going to say what, and I hope to make it that you can't find out because it's... it's not good. And we found out after that discovery that it wasn't supposed to go like how it did, but it was interrupted from an outside irl force.

So my immediate reaction was to get out ASAP because I was streaming, but now I want to write it specifically from my persona's POV, specially with her backstory from the RP.

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"Guys, look up."

Becca curiously looked to where her friend was pointing and her blood seemed to freeze. One glance, and she realized what she was looking at, and then turned away and ran.

Oh my gosh, was all she could think.

"No, no, nononononono nope, no," she said aloud, her voice acting on its own.

Molly and Zoe and Rae were talking into her ear from the device in her ear, but Becca tuned them out. She had barely seen a glimpse of the sight and it was burned into her mind. She found herself taking off a hill with elytra and spamming rockets trying to get away. The airborne feeling matched her frantic mind, and strangely Becca snapped out of the dazed stare enough to comprehend the situation.

This can't be real. No. Not again.

The image of the worrying book in her hands as she read it aloud, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice as to not upset NPG standing across from her any more than those words already would have.

He... he used me... to do this? To tell us THAT?! Without any warning, he just ups and leaves us THAT?! WHAT THE HELL?! That selfish, heartless bastard! Becca let out a sob. She didn't care that she was cursing- suddenly all she felt was anger trying to ignore the anguish that was screaming in her heart. She knew that he was still hurting inside, but this was no excuse to do this to the people he was supposed to care about. Now Becca felt used, betrayed, and honestly scared out of her mind.

She didn't realize she was falling. She forgot to use another rocket. She slammed into the ground- and immediately woke up in her bed st her base.

That's fine. I needed to get out of there anyway.

Becca pulled her blanket and wrapped it around herself and sat down at her window that stared into a grey, snow-speckled void.

She didn't know what to feel right now. The initial shock had worn off as she had taken to the air, and now she couldn't bring herself to be furious with what she just witnessed because it hurt to think that she could think of him in that way. Becca didn't have blood family, that was part of her existence in her home world- this conglomeration of people were the closest thing she had to the family that she had left her old friends to find. She could bring herself to be angry at the shit one of them just pulled on the rest of them.

Her old life...

And that's when it hit Becca.

Images flashed through her mind. Sleepless nights staring at posters trying to see how the clues all connected, trying to find how to find this player she had never met before but believed they needed to be found purely on moral obligation.

Somewhere between minutes and days searching a foreign world, looking for the missing person...

The grotesque scenes she found when she found the person's body, left how it was when they died and didn't respawn.

Oh my god.

It's happening all over again.

I failed.

As a friend, advice giver, detective that literally used to do this for a living.

Why does it scare me so much more?

She knew why. Because all of those players she had found dead were strangers to her, and she knew they were likely already dead. She had no idea this was coming, and she actually cared for these people, contrary to popular belief that Becca just played on the server and used everyone else's resources.

Becca didn't know when she had started shaking or gotten cold. She wrapped her fluffy blue blanket closer around herself, but it did nothing to warm the cold emotions she felt inside.

It had been a long time since those memories had upset her. In her home world, she was used to isolation and death was a fairly common thing. So when she left, the loneliness of exploring in the new multiverse had been fine and picking up finding the whereabouts missing people was nothing more than another job she had to pick up to make ends' meet- although there was no currency in HUB, as diamonds didn't travel between worlds. The deaths has been bloody and the worse Becca had ever seen, but she figured it was a part of life.

But then there were the nights that they did bother her, where she wished she might have never seen that MIA board in HUB and could have lived a normal player life. That the knowledge of having to break the news to the victims' families was something she wished upon no one but herself.

Why didn't he respawn? There was nothing saying he shouldn't have... Becca wondered slowly, wishing there was a loophole to deny what she assumed to be the truth. The image slipped into her mind again, despite her will to not have to remember more than she did.

Red, red, red, white skin, thin arms- too thin Oh my god was he starving himself...? But... he was fine the other day when he stopped by my base. That's not possible, too skinny...

Becca's phone has been going off in her pocket, but she hadn't bothered to remember that the device existed until now. The chat was blowing up with two different conversations, but one message caught her eye.

"I'm going to murder this idiot for scaring us like this when I see him!" She yelled, slamming her hands on the table and standing up as she read the panicked apology message from Hollie, passed from Evil Xisuma.

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Word count: 1100

Next time, think about how your actions might affect others, even if accidents happen and things go wrong. This isn't my exact reaction, as I don't have the same backstory as my persona, but this basically describes my actions throughout the entire ordeal and now going to lie, I was ticked. I don't curse unless I'm REALLY mad or serious or upset about something, and I was that close in my head for that hour or so.