This interview had me doubled over laughing!!! *wipes away a tear* Enjoy! Shout out to

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Interviewer: Okay, Mr. Benihe, let's begin our interview, shall we?

Raxus: We shan't.

Interviewer: Er... why not?

Raxus: I just ordered an ice cream SLUSHY and those deliverers don't like it when you leave them waiting. They get really mad and put ants in you slushy. Let's make this quick.

Interviewer: Okay... so the first question is... Who are you? And what role do you play in your story?

Raxus: Can you count?

Interviewer: Um... what?

Raxus: That was two questions. Not one, stupid. So says Steve.

Interviewer: ....Steve...?

Raxus: My sock puppet, see?

Interviewer: Um... yes. I wish I hadn't. Oh boy, O'm gonna have nightmares now... Could you answer the questions now?

Raxus: You want to know who I am? You know that, silly, YOU said my name at the start of this inteviewerish-thingymabob.

Interviewer: I meant more specifically. Please.

Raxus: Okay..... My name is Raxus Benihe, I'm eighteen and incredibly awesome. I'm a secondary character except for a book called 'Rise of Steve' where I totally star as a super cool main character. I'm usually used as the best friend and/or comic relief. I'm very funny, you know. You see one time while Alex was at the store, I took a chainsaw, a garbage can, fifty feet of nylon rope, a wild badger, and I-

Interviewer: Whoa!!! I know where that's going!! Just answer this next question: What is the title of your story and what do you think of it?

Raxus: Daaaaang, which one? I'm so fabulous, I'm in EVERY story. Almost. I'm in Spirits, mentioned in Fairy Tale Twists, Gorgons and Gladiators, Friends Over Features, Moonlight Madness, Darastrix Academy for Dragons—

Interviewer: Okay, okay, I get it. Next question!! So are you—

Raxus: Am I in love? If so, with who?

Interviewer: Um... yes, exactly, are you reading my-

Raxus: I am absolutely in love! With my beautiful girlfriend, Kinani. Ah, she makes my heart stop like missing a step on the stairs.

Interviewer: *sarcastically* How romantic.

Raxus: But she'll kick you butt if you tick her off. 

Interviewer: Sounds amazing...? Anyway, do you have any talents?

Raxus: Besides reading minds? I'm a gifted sock puppeteer. And a stealthy Twinkle assassin. I move... like a ninja!!

Interviewer: I'll bear that in mind. Who is closest to you, not counting lovers?

Raxus: I think my arm is closest to me. It's always at my side. Well, unless it's busy giving me a hand.

Interviewer: What is your opinion of the side characters?

Raxus: Absolutely fabulous and super good looking! Best characters in the book! I'm talking about myself, of course, seeing as I'M a side character.

Interviewer: What about the others?

Raxus: Meh. Kinani and I are the best. The others are weirdos with Doritos.

Interviewer: Uh-huh... Anyway, describe your perfect moment.

Raxus: Hiding in the cabinet beneath the sink after filling your nemesis's shower head with an active fire ant mound!! Ah, good times.

Interviewer: You're making me paranoid. But what animal do you most relate to and why?

Raxus: A bratwurst.

Interviewer: Sir, that's not a-

Raxus: It was at one point.

Interviewer: Okay... so do you want to tell me why you say bratwurst?

Raxus: 'cuz it's fun to say, obviously.

Interviewer: No, I mean, why would you be one?

Raxus: It's random. Duh. Why wouldn't I be one?

Interviewer: Moving on. Who is your author and do you like them? Why or why not?

Raxus: Why, YOU'RE my author. And I like you because you made me ME!Interviewer: I'm sorry, world.

Raxus: How would you describe your author?

Interviewer: I— hey, wait a minute!

Raxus: Slow on the uptake, that's how I'd describe her. Yet festive. She thinks of the best pranks, really. I mean, an ant hill in a shower head? Genius!!

Interviewer: Glad you think so.

Raxus: What's your favorite color?

Interviewer: That's what I'M supposed to ask YOU!

Raxus: Well, it's blue. Blue is a beautiful color. Light blue with a hint of green... prettier than a whoopie cushion on Prez Trump's chair. And that's a pretty sight, I tell you.

Interviewer: What's your—

Raxus: My fav song is Gangnam Style! That or the OTP song. And genre is obviously whatever the heck is playing.

Interviewer: STOP READING MY MIND!

Raxus: What genre is my story? Most of them are fantasy, but there's a couple adventure and fanfics too.

Interviewer: I said, stop reading-

Raxus: Stop reading? What a terrible promotion! By the way, my free time is spent on food, fun, and foolishness. Pranks are the BEST hobby.

Interviewer: HEY!!! Raxus—

Raxus: Next question: What's your favorite time of day and why? I like mid afternoons! That's when you can get a discount on those driving lawnmowers! Y'know, the kind you ride around on and crush small animals with?

Interviewer:Stop—

Raxus: Most memorable moment of my life? When I found Kinani again after thinking she was dead for a buncha years. She hated me then.

Interviewer: Ra—Raxus: Describe myself in one word?

Interviewer: LET ME ASK THE QUESTIONS

Raxus: Gesundheit. Myself in one word would probably be fabulistic. For not only am I fabulous, I am artistic as well!! And my goal in life is to DESTROY ALL TWINKIES.

Interviewer: STOP TALKING AND LET ME ASK THE QUESTIONS!!!!!

Raxus: Mph.

Interviewer: FINE!! You can talk. Just let me ask you the questions. If you could ask your author a question, what would it be?

Raxus: Can I have a rocket launcher—

Interviewer: NO. Last question: if you could end your story after reading it halfway, how would you end it?

Raxus: I would end it with Kinani and I TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!! BWA HA HA HA!!! No more Twinkies for you, mortals!!

Interviewer: Okay, I'm OUT. I don't want to die. Byeeeee....

Raxus: Oh, yippee, she's gone!! Now I can continue with... *pulls ninja mask over face* Operation assassinate twinkies!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY