Its been a while.

Chapter 50

Elizabeth's POV

Leaves and dirt stuck to my soaked pants as I trekked through the forest to a nearby place, a place that Jeff would love. He straggled behind a little, trying his best to put on his clothes again. I waited for him, giggling at his struggle and the way he playfully frowned at me.

"Where are we going now?" he asked.

I could only smile at him. "You'll see. Be patient!"

"Yes, dear," he groaned and I smirked at him.

Right when I felt we were coming up to our destination, I told him to cover his eyes. What I had was a surprise. He was a little reluctant, but listened to me anyway and gingerly walked with me. I had to help him so he wouldn't end up tripping in the dark. Eventually, we made it and I had him sit down in the grass.

"Okay, you can look now," I said quietly in his ear. Once he removed his hands, his expression had become one of awe.

Up above him was a sea of stars against the darkness—so, so bright that I could see the light reflecting in his black eyes. Or maybe that was just the sheer joy and wonder radiating from him. Either way, he looked wonderful. Beautiful.

"This...is amazing. The stars have never looked so bright," he marveled.

"Where the city lights don't reach, stars will light the way," I sighed.

"This place really is great," he chuckled.

Looking up at the sky, I admitted, "I come here a lot. On nights that I can't sleep, I wander the forest, hoping to find some serenity. One night, I stumbled upon this wide-open space where you can see the sky. I've stayed here for hours—almost all night. I knew the moment I came here that I wanted to show you this place once we were together again."

Gently, I took hold of Jeff's hand and squeezed. Stargazing was always our thing. There's no way I would let it die. I remembered something he told me on a night that seemed like so long ago, in that quiet, cold backyard.

"Hey Jeff, lay down and look at the stars with me! Come on! They're amazing!"

"I don't need to. I'm already looking at one."

The memory made me smile. My heart swelled knowing that that love we had isn't completely gone. And even when it was when I lost my memories, Jeff still tried to bring it back. He did, and I'm grateful for that everyday. It's what has kept me going, and I'm sure it's kept him strong too. He endured so much for me—to guide me, to restore me, to love me again—and now it's time for him to rest and let me help him. He deserves that peace after years of hardship. He deserves the world.

"Do you still remember the constellations?" I asked him, recalling our date in the town of Redwood. It was the night I fell in love with him again and got to see the kind light in him.

"I do," he said. "Do you?"

"Let me see..." I gazed up, focusing hard, trying to remember certain sequences of stars. Finally, I thought I got one and spoke up, "That one is...the 'Celestial River', right? And then Cetus. Um...what's the other one? Eridanus! Right?"

Jeff nodded, looking pleased at my memory.

"Haha, I haven't forgotten! I feel accomplished," I chuckled. "I never forgot..."

I looked down at Jeff's hand in mine, noting the way he squeezed so firmly. It felt so right, like our palms were meant to clasp one another. His skin, his warmth, the roughness of someone who had been going at a tough life—or more correctly, life had been going at him mercilessly. It didn't matter what scars he's had, he's beautiful to me always. I'll be there for him, always.

Suddenly, I noticed his shoulders jerk, then tremble. I looked up and asked, "Is something wrong?"

He didn't answer and left me in silence as he cried and cried, trying to keep his sobs quiet. I didn't understand why. It was just us in this vast forest. No one could judge him here or interrupt his heart-heavy emotions.

"Sorry," he murmured after a while, "I just...I got overwhelmed all of a sudden. I shouldn't have cried."

Grabbing onto him, I said, "Look at me."

"I'm alright," he insisted.

"Look."

Hesitantly, he turned and looked me in the eyes. In that instant, everything came crashing into him again and I got to see the progression from calm to completely sobbing again. And it was heartbreaking to see him try to turn away from me. Luckily, he didn't put up a big fight when I held him in place to face me. There he sat, crying and trying to hide his face behind his hands, which I took hold of anyway.

"I've been crying too much lately," he tried to joke, forcing a chuckle, yet it didn't hold up.

"It's okay. You deserve to let go. Don't keep it all in," I assured him.

"I...I need to be better," he murmured. "For you. For us. I need to be stronger than this."

My eyes stung as I cupped his face and said, "Trying to be tough and hiding your emotions doesn't make you strong. Being vulnerable and expressing your heartache makes you strong. It means you've been carrying too much on your shoulders for too long."

"I could've been better. You wouldn't have to see me like this," he grumbled.

"It doesn't matter to me whether you're at your best or not. I'll be by your side through it all. You know that, right? You believe me?"

He nodded. "I do..."

"Then don't feel bad about crying. Never feel bad for showing your true self. I will love you no matter what."

As tears welled in my eyes, I pulled him in for a hug and let him rest his head against my chest. He wrapped his arms around me, clutching at my shirt, sobbing into my embrace. I rested my head against his, giving it a kiss before rocking back and forth to calm him. The way he whimpered and moaned reminded me too much of SCP, of that godforsaken nightmare of a time. As much as it hurt to hear and see him cry, I felt relieved knowing this was best for him. Both of us know what it feels like to keep everything in all too well.

"I love you," Jeff cried. "I love you so...so much. Thank you...for loving a mess like me..."

"You're my 'mess', and I'll make sure you get picked up every time you fall. Always, no matter what," I whispered.

"I don't want you to think I'm sad," he added. "I'm really not. I'm just..."

"Happy?"

He chuckled. "Yes. Absolutely."

I smiled. "I am, too."

After a while of sitting together and letting our emotions take their course, Jeff sat up and leaned his forehead against mine. There was some unspoken thing between us, some deep feeling that we couldn't name but both of us shared it. It was...beyond what I could call love, and it was so strong and overwhelming.

Without a word, Jeff took my lips against his and held my face ever so gently. I gripped the back of his neck, making sure he wouldn't go away (not that he would want to). He kept kissing and I pushed back. A small part of me thought that I shouldn't let him do this after a breakdown, but then I felt that unspoken thing again and I couldn't bring myself to stop him. I could feel every emotion on his lips and the tips of his fingers—happiness, sadness, frustration, fear, excitement, anger, uncertainty, pleasure. I couldn't even think to stop him. I didn't want to.

Suddenly, in the heat of the moment, he stopped and took some time to gaze at me. "Sorry," he said, "I got carried away..."

"I didn't mind," I chimed.

His face lit up in such a childish way. "Haha, really?"

I kissed his nose briefly before he rested his head on my lap and took in the starry sky. With a sigh, he told me, "Thank you for today. Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm always content with your happiness," I replied.

Afterward, I let him stargaze in peaceful silence while I combed my fingers through his hair. Seeing the calm rise and fall of his chest and the light in his eyes warmed my heart. This is all I ever wanted. To see him happy. I love the sight so much.

After a while, the contentedness still hung in the air, but there was a strange feeling that kept growing and I couldn't shake it. Looking at Jeff, I could see he was unbothered, napping even (it's been quite an active day for him).

I gazed down at him, smiling, but a sneer manage to surface anyway. I didn't like the feeling. I...hated it, actually. Something really didn't feel right. I couldn't ignore this sense of dread.

Fed up, I turned my head to look around into the woods. It was too dark now. All I could see were shadows and the slight jolt of leaves. But it's there, in between the trees, I can feel it just...there. Watching us. Watching me.

For some reason, I felt sick to my stomach at whatever it was. Threatened, provoked, and I wanted to lash out at it and say "leave us alone". This was our moment—my moment with Jeff. Nothing can even come close to ruining this.

The mouths wanted it. They were defending me, urging me, warning me. I could hear the urgency in their warbled, hissing voices, merging into a collective mess of caution. I scowled as the energy to pounce built up, welling inside my gut so, so heavily. Like a furious cauldron bubbling with sickly fluid, searing hot and wild.

But even heavier was the weight of Jeff's head on my lap. The sensation of him shifting himself for a comfier sleep jolted me out of my riled trance. And as I turned to look down at him, I noticed the mouths had been glowing brightly underneath my soaked clothes. But as quickly as I had noticed them, they disappeared, just in time for Jeff to stir and sit up right.

"You alright? You seem tense now," he remarked.

I managed a small smile and lied, "I think I'm starting to get cold. We should head back to the cabin."

He nodded, rubbing his bare arms. "Yeah, you're right. I'm starting to feel it too. C'mon!"

We quickly got up and Jeff picked up his other clothing items as we left our secret little stargazing spot. We practically raced all the way back to the cabin, chasing each other here and there for fun. It didn't help to have the air hit us and make us colder, but I'm glad we made quick time. The more I ran, the more that horrible presence was going away. All the way home, I was desperately hoping that it wouldn't follow and would leave us alone. For good.

When we got to the cabin, we bolted inside and Jeff nearly slammed the front door shut. Exhausted laughter and panting fill the room as we smiled and leaned against each other. Finally, away from the cold outside. I'll definitely have to clean up the dirt and water we dragged in, but that can wait until morning.

Once I caught my breath again, I noticed Jeff with a cheeky mien, like he had an idea. Smirking, I asked, "What's that face for?"

Jeff chuckled. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking..."

"Thinking what...?"

He grabbed my hand tenderly and said, "Maybe, maaaaaybe, we can get clean and warm up with a nice, hot shower...together?"

At first, the idea excited me (maybe in more ways than one), but it was hard to dismiss the mouths marked on my skin. There was no way I could take up Jeff's offer. Not unless I want to expose myself for the evil I'm associated with. I want to leave it behind and just be with him. He can't know. He can't see me. He can't see these damned mouths.

"I would love to," I started, "but I can't..."

I could see the tinge of confusion on his face. "How come? Please? I'll get lonely." With a puppy-dog look in his eyes, he gently pressed my hand against his cheek. Deep inside I very much wanted to just go and jump behind the curtains with him, but I couldn't risk him seeing the mouths. As much as I love and trust him, I know he wouldn't understand. He may be scared. He may even hate me. I can't have that. I need him to love me like I love him. I need him.

Coming up with something on the spot, I said, "I just think it might be too much."

"Too much?"

I nodded. "Like, doing something like that? I feel it's too soon. We're both pretty emotionally vulnerable, and I just wouldn't want to mess anything up, you know?"

"And taking a shower would mess things up?" he remarked.

"You and I both know it wouldn't just be a shower," I said. He shrugged his shoulders and nodded bashfully.

"I don't think we're ready," I murmured. "Maybe just...give each other some time."

He sighed. "I've had plenty of time, Ellie. Too much, I think. But, no matter what, I'll always wait for you. You know that."

"I-I know..."

With a smirk, he kissed the top of my forehead, then said, "Eventually, we'll have our steamy shower session. It's a must."

"Haha, yeah, I know," I giggled.

Jeff lovingly kissed my lips, and once he pulled away, he said, "Go ahead and hop in first. I'll get you some clothes."

"Are you sure? You can go first."

"Just go." Jokingly, he dragged me over to the bathroom and closed the door on me. I couldn't help but laugh and get myself ready. After today, a hot shower sounds wonderful. A hot shower with Jeff would've been divine! But these stupid mouths...

Some of the mouths began to glow and act up, growling at me. I scowled and muttered, "Oh, shut up." They silenced and went dormant afterward.

After I was finished with my shower, I found my new clothes left by the sink thanks to Jeff, and changed into them. It wasn't until I put them on and looked in the mirror that I realized he had purposefully given me his clothes. A baggy long-sleeved shirt and pajama pants. Jesus, I never realized how much bigger Jeff is to me. I mean, I know I've bulked up some ever since I first became a proxy, but I'm still so small, it's not even funny. I'm drowning in these clothes, my god.

I came out with a towel on my shoulders, and Jeff was waiting nearby. As soon as he laid eyes on me, he immediately wrapped his arms around me and picked me up a few inches off the floor.

"You're so tiny," he practically squealed.

"C'mon, I'm all clean and you still need to shower!" I joked.

"Okay, okay," he said, then put me back down. Still holding a bright and joyful expression, he brushed his fingers behind my ears and gave me a big kiss on the lips. God, I missed this so much.

Afterward, he let me go and went to take his shower, and I went to the bedroom to finally sit down and rest. It really was quite the day. My feet are still a bit sore, but it's nothing I'm not used to after all these years. I sit there and dry the rest of my damp hair, listening to the water running from the shower.

And of course...

Quite the night, I see.

I roll my eyes—a standard now when Zalgo shows up. "I'm having a good time. For once can you leave me be?"

I just want to check in. It's pleasant seeing you so happy.

I huffed. "Says the guy that was a constant source of my misfortune for the past—three, four—years."

Things change.

"No shit."

When do you plan on revealing your true self?

The question was out of nowhere, even for Zalgo.

Ellie?

"I don't want to," I grumbled.

He just sighed.

You know better than anyone the turbulent relationship between the wants of humans and the force that is inevitability.

"I said I don't want him to know."

It's only a matter of time. Those mouths can bite at any moment.

"No. Not to my Jeff..." Out of everything else, these mouths will not have him.

My dear, I only wish to help you. A Queen needs advice sometimes—.

"I will not be Queen," I growled. "I just want to live normally. After everything I've been through, I want to be happy and free. This is my only chance and I'm not letting you ruin it...!"

Zalgo's face was one of almost pity, unlike the disappointment he used to show. It irritated me to no end.

My dear...it isn't I that will ruin your little paradise.

Before I could swear at him, he had vanished. Coward! Bastard! How dare he?! He's so infuriating. If only he wasn't just a specter in my mind, I'd hit him into oblivion and beyond...

And what does he mean he won't ruin this? He's ruined everything since the very beginning! It's his fault I'm in this mess! What is he implying, that I might—!

No.

I won't!

Screw him and screw these mouths...!

"Ellie..?"

I jolted out of my inner tangent and looked to see Jeff at the doorway.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay? You're looking a little angry there. That or you're very constipated."

My frown disappears for a sheepish smile. "A-Ah, no I'm okay! No digestion problems of any kind...!"

"So, you're angry? For what?" Jeff sat himself at the edge of the bed next to me, his pale hand placed gently on my knee. "What's wrong?" he asked me again.

I pulled a smile despite what happened a few minutes ago. "Nothing. I was just thinking too much. You know how into my thoughts I can be."

"What were your thoughts?"

"Well...," I mumbled, trying to come up with something. "I just keep getting worried I might lose you. And yes, I know I shouldn't be scared and I know that you'll always be here, but after all this time, it's hard not to be wary."

He nodded. "I get it. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. Not for the whole world. Not if this forest caught on fire. I mean, that would really suck and I hope I didn't just jinx anything, but you know what I mean."

A giggle escaped my mouth. "I know. Thanks."

Jeff smiled and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Let's go to bed, Sunshine."

Blushing, I hugged him close, pressing my face against his bare chest. "It always makes me happy hearing you say that."

"Me too," he chuckled.

After getting situated in bed and making sure to hug each other close, it wasn't long until Jeff was out like a light. It's a wonder how he sleeps so fast. I wish I could, but I don't mind listening to his heartbeat as I drift away alongside him. It's moments like these that I've missed for so long. And it's moments like these that I want to protect forever.

No matter what.

...

Jeff's POV

Ellie had to get up earlier for work, so when I woke up, her side of the bed was empty. She did leave me a little note though.

I'll be back to bring us lunch at 1, but make sure to eat some breakfast, please! There's plenty of juicy apples and other fruits in the fridge too. Only the best for the APPLE of my eye!
That was cringy, I'm sorry.
But I love you!
:•)
-Ellie

Haha what a dork. I love her so much.

After holding the note in my hand for a few moments, I got up from the bed to eat some breakfast like she recommended. On my way to the kitchen, a very familiar voice spoke up from the living room couch.

"Finally, the snoring beauty awakes...," Death greeted in his usual blunt tone.

It took me off guard to see him again, especially after our argument last time. I wasn't sure how to feel seeing his face. Nonetheless, I remained cool and said, "What are you doing here?"

"At this point, that question answers itself," he remarked.

I stand by the doorway, arms crossed and staring him down. "Look, I just woke up, and I'm not in the mood for your sassy games. That and I'm still pissed at you from last time."

"Be that way all you want, but I've come to give you an important message that no amount of annoyance can drown me out," he stated assuredly.

He chuckled. "Really? What, come to say I'm too happy here being with Ellie? Oh noooooo, that's absolutely terrible."

"I do not intend to steal your happiness. I'm trying to protect you."

Despite myself, I couldn't help but bitterly laugh out loud. "Protect me? That's rich! Wow, some protection trying to take me away from my fiancé, who is the only person who's supported me from day one. Or is it the poison fungi here you might fear for me?"

"You're such a blabbermouth."

"And you're an unwanted guest in my place, now get out."

Death got up from the couch and sternly walked towards me. I kept my ground, even though I wanted to get away from him and his pretentious aura. Although he was scowling, he stated calmly, "Come. I have to show you something."

Without waiting for me, he made his way to the front door, but didn't even bother using it and just disappeared into smoke. Wow, what a jerk. Fine, I'll play along.

I didn't feel bothered to go and change so I just slipped on my shoes and walked out in my sweatpants. From a few meters away, I saw Death among the shrubbery and trees, waiting for me stoically. Even from here his eyes gleamed strong and chrome.

Pushing past the vegetation, I asked, "What is it? Why are you leading me out here?"

Out of nowhere, the shadowy entity tossed the shovel from the shed at me and commanded, "Dig."

"Excuse me?"

"Right here. Dig up the dirt."

"What kind of B-S are you pulling—?"

"Dig up the dirt," he demanded more intently. "See what you find."

Sneering at him, I did as he said just to shut him up and started digging at the spot of ground he pointed out. It took about 15 minutes for me to stab the shovel into the dirt and groan, "Whatever it is you expect me to find, it's not happening."

"Keep going," he said. "It's there."

"This is ridiculous...! I'm going back inside."

Just as I turned to storm back to the cabin, I felt Death's rough, cold grip on my arm as he pushed me down into the hole I had dug. Scrambling, I shouted, "What the fuck is your problem?!"

"Use your bloody eyes and see what's there, Jeff!"

"There's nothing! There's nothing and you're being completely idio—." I felt something cold on my forearm. Not as cold as Death's skin, but definitely unnerving. Confused, I looked down at what it was and immediately froze in place.

It was a human finger, poking out of the dirt.

Taken aback, I shuffle away and stare at it's cold, pale-blue shape. From the looks of it already, this has been here a few months at the most. What the...

"Dig," Death said, much more calmly this time.

Without questioning it, I used my bare hands to scrape away the dirt and rocks to reveal this macabre treasure. The more I dug away, the more this pit of dread began to form in my gut. A child's hand, a child's arm—nearly bone—, a child's chest and a bug-eaten shirt. Dried cracks of blood on the clothing and what remained of the flesh. A young boy's face painted in dirt, crusted blood and decomposition. And one giant gaping hole in what was left of the chest cavity.

Staring down at this random dead boy, I muttered, "What is this...? Why is this here...?"

Death's shadow stretched across the corpse as he came closer and said, "Your Elizabeth laid him to rest here."

Immediately, I whipped around to look at him and replied, "What? Why? This is just a kid. You mean to tell me she murdered a kid? I'm sure he was Corrupted—."

"You know better than anyone Corrupted fall away into ash upon being killed. This boy is still intact, is he not?" Death retorted. Much to my dislike, he was right. This boy is still here, decaying away in this quiet forest, right near the cabin I now call home.

"Okay, well, what the hell is this supposed to mean?"

"Ellie is not the same woman you knew, Jeff. I told you before and I say it now, she is dangerous. And now I know why."

Still baffled by what I just uncovered, I stared into Death's silver eyes as he came close and said, "Elizabeth is the new Lord of Chaos."

It was dead quiet for a minute. Not even the birds sang their morning song above in the branches in sky. Yet despite the serious moment, I ended up laughing in Death's face. He seemed more annoyed than surprised.

"That's a very bold try at humor, buddy," I said. "I recommend just sticking to taking the souls of the dead. Comedy doesn't suit your face."

"Don't belittle this conversation, Jeff," he snipped. "Last night, I saw proof. You didn't see because she hid them from you, but Elizabeth bears the mouths of Zalgo."

Just the mention of those cursed things sent goosebumps all over me. As much as I tried to contain it, I broke out into a cold sweat as the memories flooded in.

Shakily, I scoffed and said, "You're lying. There's no way. I would've seen those by now if it were true!"

"She hides them from you, Jeff. Haven't you ever noticed? The clothes she wears that covers her whole body despite the heat or sun. The way she shies away from you at the slightest moment of skin-to-skin. I saw them glowing crimson under her clothes by the lake. I could hear them snicker and taunt me as they sneered and grinned. I could sense the countless lives she's taken to feed those mouths—to feed herself! She must consume souls to sustain her power and she cannot help it! Zalgo was just the same and now she takes his place!"

Scowling, I pulled myself out of the hole and said, "You're lying. How dare you?!"

"How dare I for telling you the truth! She is now the Queen of Chaos, as Zalgo ruled, and she will purge this realm of all life and humanity as he wished! It's inevitable. What happened a year ago will begin again! It already has."

"Shut up," I growled. "Stop lying to me! Stop it!" As I tried to step away from him, he came closer to me. I couldn't get away from his piercing eyes.

"She's going to kill your friends. She's going to kill this world. And no matter how much she loves you, she is going to kill you!"

"I said shut up!" I yelled louder and shoved him away. "I'm tired of your bullshit! This is really sick and fucked up, even for you! I know Ellie and she is not like that bastard Zalgo! She absolutely despised him, so why would she take his place?!"

"She cannibalized his dying form and took his power, that's how! Long ago, I was meant to do the same, but I refused. I knew better. But she didn't know and now she's a monster just like him."

"Fuck you," I snapped. "Fuck you and fuck your lies...! I've had enough of listening to you. I should've shut you out a long time ago, since the beginning!"

"Jeff—."

"No, I'm talking now, you bastard," I interrupted. "All this time you've been pestering me, commanding me, stalking me, just to get your way. You doomed me from the start by binding my soul to you, all because of your obsession with trophies and your fuckin' selfish greed. You want me all to yourself and now that I'm finally going to live my life, you get jealous and pissy. Because your little 'pet' is giving their life to someone else. Well, fuck you! I'm not your pet, or your trophy, and I was never and WILL never be yours!"

Just as I was going to storm away, Death grabbed my arm hard and nearly bellowed, "Dammit Jeff, you idiot, I'm trying to save you! Get your head out of your ass and realize that your precious little Elizabeth is not your fucking Sunshine anymore!!!"

All of a sudden a fiery, exploding sensation welled up inside me and I slapped Death across the face.

The hit made him let go of me and he stood still, shock on his face. The first I've ever seen of it so vividly. I stood in place, huffing, trembling, and enraged like never before. All I could do was glare at his frazzled face and clench my hand into a fist.

After a few moments of silence, Death began to speak, "Jeff, please—."

"SHUT UP!"

I hooked my fingers into his hair and yanked him down to the ground. It was all a blur as I pinned him to the dirt and began to pummel his face over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. He tried to grab my hands but I pushed them away as I kept striking his face in a fit of absolutely blind rage. Amidst it all, I almost didn't notice the tears dripping from my eyes.

Finally, I wrapped my hands around his pale neck as I strangled him and hissed, "You...don't know anything...about me or my Ellie. So shut it. From now on, you don't control my fate anymore... And if you dare come here again, I don't care if you're infinite—I will fucking kill you...! Do you understand?!"

Death said nothing, but I could see the yielding shine in his eyes. I've never seen him so...weak before. It frightened yet disappointed me at the same time.

Finally, I let go and got up. Standing over him as he wiped the blood from his face, I said, "Get off of my damn property before I use that shovel to rip off your head. Never come back here again. We're done."

The silver-eyed entity didn't look at me. All he did was just stare at the ground with a strange look in his eyes. I've never seen them so dull.

Without a word or even a sound, Death disappeared in a plume of darkness, and I was left alone in this quiet forest. I couldn't quite understand the feelings I felt. There was anger, confusion, frustration, disappointment and so much more. One emotion that stood out a lot was...loss. And I don't know why...

Tiredly, I picked up the shovel and began to bury the body of the boy once again. To forget him, and forget what I was told, and forget Death.

Ellie will always be my Sunshine. No matter what turmoils and hardships she's always remained by my side in every way. Ellie is still the same girl I fell in love with. Death is wrong. As long as I have Ellie, the rest of the world doesn't matter. She's still my Sunshine. Nothing will ever change that.

Nothing...!

Ellie...

There's no way...!

No way...

Ellie...

Is still...

My Sunshine...

Right....?