In front of the Statue of the Seven of Rex Lapis was the consultant of Wangshen Funeral Parlor, Zhongli, he was just staring at the statue, looks to be deep in thought.

DING DING

Y/n: Special delivery!

Paimon: The perfumes are here, Mr. Zhongli! Did we take too long? You were just staring at the statue.

His deep thoughts got cut off by the chef and the emergency food, as he slightly looks at the two of you.

Zhongli: Oh. Uh. You're back. Don't worry, I haven't waited long.

Y/n: Hm. You good?

Zhongli: I'm fine. I was just thinking.

He fully turns around, and starts his usual talk about the adeptus.

Zhongli: Compared to the watch that Rex Lapis' has kept over Liyue, this was but a brief moment.

Paimon: Eheh. Well, how can a person compete with a statue?

Zhongli: Well, that is true. Have you brought the perfumes?

Y/n: Nah, we just threw it on our way here.

Zhongli: Oh? Did you?

Y/n: Of course not. I'm not in the mood to return to that lady. We already said that we brought them when we showed up.

Zhongli: Hm. That is indeed true. Thank you both. Let us offer them up.

You proceed to grab the first perfume, Golden Maiden.

Paimon: This is the first perfume! Miss Ying'er said its as sweet as a dram, it's liked by younger ladies.

Valley Weaver next.

Paimon: This is the second kind. It's got an elegant smell, and the daughters of high society love it!

Lastly, Fate's Yearning.

Paimon: The third kind has a gentle yet lingering fragrance, something something like the dusk mist and it's a favorite for mature ladies.

A bright light comes from the base of the Statue as three bright lines go around it before disappearing.

Paimon: Huh? What was that?

Y/n: Must've been the wind.

Paimon: That was light.

Y/n: Did I stutter?

Paimon: It's the wind. But, does that mean Rex Lapis is actually an old lady?

Y/n: A reverse trap... (Venti looked like a trap back in Mond... I am beginning to see a pattern here if that's the case.)

Zhongli: Haha, perhaps, perhaps. Rex Lapis has taken on countless forms. Perhaps that really was one of them.

Y/n: The Zeus of Teyvat. Did he fuck everything that moves?

Zhongli: No, I do not think Rex Lapis would go down that level.

Y/n: Hmmm...

Zhongli: Stop thinking about it.

Y/n: HmMMMmmmMmMMmMmm.

Zhongli: Oh dear...

Paimon: We only got to see the dragon from, what a shame, and... Let's hope the Qixing will catch the real killer.

Zhongli: We can leave that to the authorities. Let us focus on the fond farewell for Rex Lapis.

Y/n: (So far I don't feel like anyone is stalking us... That's good, I guess.)

Paimon: We've finished another step in our operation, what's next?

Zhongli: Next, I would like the two of you to help me borrow the Cleansing Bell.

Paimon: Cleansing Bell...?

Y/n: I'm beginning to feel less of an adventurer and more of an errand boy...

Zhongli: At present, a friend named Madame Ping is the guardian of the Cleansing Bell. She lives near Yuijin Terrace. If you ask her, she will know what to do.

Y/n: And what are you gonna do in the meantime, "boss"?

Zhongli: Ah... I have certain reasons why I cannot be there in person.

Y/n: Oh, really now? Are you just gonna use your "wallet" to buy yourself some chocolate?

Zhongli: I have a feeling that you are referring to Childe.

Y/n: Nah, I'm referring to Adulte. Of course, I'm talking about Childe!

Paimon: *Whisper* Man, why does he gotta be so secretive this time?

Y/n: *Whisper* Well, it's pretty obvious that he is hiding something... What exactly though?

KORE GA TIMESKIPPU... DA!

Alas, the two of you reached the terrace. You see an old woman, with her back turned looking at a beautiful blue flower, a Glaze Lily.

MADAME 'DRIP' PING

M.Ping: *sigh* All things change...

Y/n: ... Yo. You good, grandma?

Alerted by your presence, the old lady turns around hastily.

M.Ping: It's nothing, it's nothing. I just thought its a great shame that so many Glaze Lilies have wilted.

Paimon: Huh, what happened to them?

M.Ping: Back in my day, people said that Glaze Lilies can read human hearts. If they heard beautiful sounds like laughter and singing, they would also bloom joyfully.

She then starts looking down a bit sad.

M.Ping: But, if they heard too much wild gossip or slander, they would quickly wither away.

Paimon: So that means, these flowers feel what's happening in Liyue?

M.Ping: Yes, the rumors of Rex Lapis' death are no small matter. They are everywhere. Some say it was a Fatui plot, others say the Qixing set it up, and others think that That Which Lies in the Deep is breaking free.

Y/n: Hm? What is breaking free?

(I'm a be honest with you... It's either the God of the Vortex or that weird ass tree that a kid is standing in front of... You may know which tree is it. Since I'm not sure which one is it, I'll just double answer.)

M.Ping: This harbor is a mountain of dry tinder. One spark and the fire will consume all.

She looks back up meeting the gazes of you two, chuckling to herself, she starts speaking again.

M.Ping: Well... I shalt say no more. This old woman's grwon too old and naggy... Did you have something to say, youngsters.

Y/n: Well, there is that Cleansing Bell. Can we borrow it?

M.Ping: Ah, that old trinket... I remember it being here with me, but I've grown old, I can't quite remember where I put it exactly.

Y/n: *mutters* Please don't be another fetch quest. Please don't be another fetch quest.

M.Ping: An old friend of mine used to wear it on his person, when I was young...

She looks up to the sky, remembering her younger days.

M.Ping: ... He saw me gazing at it often, and gave it to me.

Y/n: (We are using the bell for the Rite of Parting of Rex... Does that mean her old friend is Rex Lapis? Yet no one is asking her about the archon... Was it a secret friendship? If that's the case, how does Zhongli know about this?)

M.Ping: But he told me then, that if someone should come to borrow it, I should not be loath to part with it.

Y/n: (That's some god talk if I ever heard one. It's probably Rex Lapis...)

You nod to yourself, somewhat confident with your theory.

M.Ping: It has been many years, and who knows how many times someone came to borrow the bell. Still, though. I can't recall when it started, it has been a long time since anyone has come to borrow it. Ah, these old bones are so slow to look for things, I doubt you can wait that long...

Y/n: (I want this to be done ASAP.) Just tell me where you last remember putting the bell, I'll look for it.

Paimon: That's right, granny! We'll follow you back home, and search for it ourselves. And... Umm... We can help with the chores if you have any too!

Y/n: I might as well feed your cat along the way.

M.Ping: Alright, children. There is no need to worry, I haven't put the bell too far.

Paimon: Eh? Do you live here, granny? Wo'ah, this is Yuijin Terrace. It's gotta be expensive!

Y/n: (Kinda of expected to someone being a friend of the God of Mora.)

M.Ping: Ohohoho! An old lady like myself can't afford to buy a place in this city.

Y/n: ...Eh?

M.Ping: See this ceramic teapot? My enite household is there.

She looks at the teapot that is on a table next to all of you.

Y/n: (Uhh... I guess she was really close to him and has the philosophy of money can't buy happiness... But she doesn't have money... But what if it's a lie? AAAAAAHHHH--)

Paimon: ... How does that work?

M.Ping: Hohoho! Youngsters, what in trying to say is that the bell is somewhere inside the teapot. You are welcome to borrow it, if you can find it.

Y/n: Ah... So some sort of Genie Aladdin stuff, except it's some sort of palace inside. Paimon, try to squeeze inside.

Paimon: NEVER!

Y/n: I'LL give you five Sticky Honey Roasts after this.

Paimon: ... Tempting...

Y/n: Ten?

Paimon: STAND BACK, EVERYONE! PAIMON IS GOING IN!

The emergency food floats towards the tea pot, as she touches it, light comes out from it... Then

Y/n: Holy shit...

The two of you are now inside the teapot, and you were correct. This is some sort of palace/domain. It looked a lot like the adepti's domain.

Paimon: Huh? Where are we? What just happened?

From nowhere the voice of the Madame comes out.

M.Ping: Youngsters, this si where this old woman keeps all her things. Quickly now, go fetch that bell.

Paimon: Holy moly! Look at that spice and its web!

Y/n: Ah, I see that grandma has a pet, and it wasn't a cat. It's adora--

The spider proceeds to spit out some webs hitting your foot, as now your foot is stuck.

Y/n: Oi, granny! Tell your pet that I'm not in the mood to play.

M.Ping: Ah, I'm afraid this isn't my pet. I haven't cleaned in quite some time. Could I trouble you to clean them up?

Y/n: Well, spidey...

Summoning your sword, you cut off the web that was in your foot.

Y/n: You won't feel so good after this.

TIMESKIP BECAUSE NOT IMPORTANT

Y/n: I still wonder how slimes are here...

Paimon: How long did granny left this place unswept? That's a lot of Slimes and spiders. With such a teapot and the bell... Could this granny also be an adeptus?

Y/n: Most likely. And that friend of hers is probably Rex Lapis.

Paimon: Oooh. That would make sense considering Mr. Zhongli told us to get the bell from her...

Y/n: Though... I still wonder what exactly is he doing... "Important stuff". He didn't sound like he wanted to come, important stuff or not... Keep an eye out for him, Pai.

Paimon: Will do! But... There is one thing bothering Paimon. Don't all the adepti live in Jueyun Karst? Why would she stay in the city?

Y/n: I dunno. Maybe we should ask her.

Using the wind current after fighting off the last slime. You reach the top of the domain. Finally, you see a long ass table with a bell in the middle.

Paimon: Sheesh! How many levels does this teapot have? That took a while... You know, it would be nice if we had one.

Y/n: A portable base for us... Sounds really nice. Let's just get the bell and go.

You grab it, and then suddenly hear the voice of the old woman.

M.Ping: Oh, you found it. Youngsters are so quick on their feet... Now, how did this opening go...?

After a couple of seconds, a cyan circle formed behind you with four cubes in the same color floating on top of it.

M.Ping: Alright. That'll do, stand where the blue thing is, you'll leave the teapot when you do so.

Y/n: Ah, that looks nice... Cubes... Don't like 'em.

Paimon: The sustainer?

Y/n: Yup, that's the reason...

TELEPORT, BEEETC--

And thus, you finally left the teapot after finding the bell.

M.Ping: Ho-ho. In and out in no time... You youngsters really are quick. As a thank you, I got you some cookies.

She hands you the bag that contains the snacks.

Y/n: Nice! Thanks, granny. But, one question... Are you an adeptus, granny?

M.Ping: An adeptus... I haven't heard anyone say these words in earnest for a long time... A long time... As to whether I'm one or not, child, surely you already understand?

Y/n: (Zhongli sure knows alot of people... And she is an adeptus that no one knows about from what I'm seeing... Hmm.)

Nom. You ate another.

Paimon: Ugh... Paimon kinda of knows what you mean, but in the same time also confused. Are you really giving us the bell just like that, granny? Don't you think it's weird? Something bad just happened to Rex Lapis, and we come running asking for...

M.Ping: Oh, don't be silly. Liyue Harbor has been through a great deal in its history. In that time, it's seen the departure of countless adepti. But no matter what, we always performed the Rite of Parting first before any other matters.

M.Ping: To cry "Catch the murderer!" at the top of one's lungs, but ignore the Rite of Parting... That to me, is what is wrong-headed. Now that you have come to borrow the bell, I'm guessing an old friend of mine has finally decided to take matters into their own hands. So, why wouldn't I give it to you?

Y/n: (Okay then... Zhongli's sus level just went through the roof... Is he also an adeptus?) What if he eats the bell therfore not returning it?

You said as you took another bite of the cookie.

M.Ping: Oh? Well, if it came to that... Haha, they would find a certain old lady knocking on their door. We haven't met in a long time anyway, it would be nice to share a drink and chat. Well, you have things to do. Since you have the bell, you should return.

M.Ping: Oh, and do tell the person who sent you, that if they have time, they could come over for tea. I don't have much to offer, but you can always found on an old lady for a pot of tea.

Y/n: Mhm. Will do.

Paimon: *Nom nom* Yup!

TIMESKIPPU DA

The two of you met up with Zhongli where the Rite of Parting will take place. He was currently inspecting the bell on his hand.

Zhongli: Indeed, this is the Cleansing Bell. Hmmm, and it's in good condition. Let's place the perfume we prepared inside.

Y/n: I'll be straight with you. Are you an adeptus?

Zhongli: An adeptus...?

Paimon: Hmm. That's suspicious, but if you don't wan-

Y/n: No, no. Let him talk. So... "Mr. Zhongli", can you tell us please?

Zhongli: I might have some knowledge of the adepti, but that do--

Y/n: Fine, fine. Don't tell me...

You begin inspecting the man from head to toe.

Zhongli: Are you okay, Traveler? Is there something on me?

Y/n: We'll continue the talk later... This isn't a good place... (That stalker may be here, and I don't want anyone else to hear us... I still can't be sure about Zhongli... Or well, If that's even his name.)

The BigDongZhong nods, he looks like he may have understood something, while Paimon was looking back and forth between the two of you.

Paimon: Paimon feels left out...

Y/n: Don't worry, Pai. I'll tell you about it later.

Paimon: Oh... Okay. Wait, the old lady wanted us to tell you something.

She clears her throat before starting to mimick the Madame.

Paimon: "If you have time, you can come over for tea. I don't have much to offer, but you can always count on an old lady for a pot of tea."

Zhongli: Ha, that tone does not suit you. Still, her teapot is indeed very good. There are non better for brewing tea. When a suitable time arrives, I'll bring a spot of fine tea and pay her a visit.

Paimon: So, what's the next step in our preparation?

Zhongli: Hmm... Next, we need to purchase kites.

Paimon: Oooh! Paimon loves kites! Are you taking us kite flying? Is this our break time?

Zhongli: Haha, no, no. Kites are children's toys, yes, but they also play a various of symbolic roles in Liyue's rituals. I will explain to you. But our next course if action is to purchase the kites.

Paimon: Oh, sure... Curiouser and curioser.

Y/n: (You know... This is funny considering he is directing the funeral.)

TIMESKIP

Granny Shan: Ah, sir, you're here. The seven kites you asked for has been made in order. Would you like to take them now?

Y/n: *whisper* Watch as they say it's seven kites because of the Seven gods.

Paimon: *whisper* So are you gonna tell Paimon what happened back there or...?

Y/n: *whisper* Like I said la- huh...?

You felt a chill in the back of your neck as goosebumps appear.

Y/n: *whisper* Act natural. Someone is watching us... Again.

Zhongli: Yes. Thank you.

Granny Shan: It's rare to see costumers buy this kind of kites nowadays. In the early days, we used to get orders from people of all walks of life.

Paimon: Well, this is Mr. Zhongli from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, so he's probably well versed in all of these walks of life. We've talked about a whole bunch of things while traveling with him.

Y/n: I have to say, he is very knowledgeable, you could think that he lived over thousands years because of that amount of knowledge he posses.

Zhongli: ...

Paimon: He seems to know Liyue's favorite topic, money, and government very well, but he likes talking about less useful stuff.

Zhongli: Well, that's because I prefer to share fun things with you.

Y/n: Well, you can't have a funeral without fun.

Zhongli: (Stop reminding me of that child...)

Granny Shan: A haha, children's toys are very fun things, that's for sure. I enjoy watching the children play as much as everyone else. But there is more to it than that. Finely crafted toys are well loved by children. But this craft itself has been hones over the years.

G. Shan:I have made kites in Liyue for forty years, and I am intimately familiar with the forms passed down from my ancestors. The meaning of these seven kites is far from banal.

Zhongli: Indeed. These are decorations used in the Rite of Parting. The Seven kites represent the Seven.

Y/n: *whisper* See? I'm a genius.

G. Shan: I took the liberty of coloring outside the lines when doing the insignia of the Anemo Archon. As for the kite that honors the Geo Archon, one must follow the contract given right down to the last letter. These patterns are ancient, and you can also find them in the Golden House.

Paimon: Ah, Paimon's heard that n-

Y/n: --ecklaces. Those look quite nice. You have some nice skills in drawing, granny.

Covered up, Y/N, as he slightly glares at the floating guide.

Paimon: O-oh, right!

Zhongli: True. The design of this kite displays a firm grasp on the cyvlicality eternity so dear to the Electro Archon. These markings of tree and leaf pay due honor to wisdom  and the passage of time. All this, on a single kite-- turly astonishing.

Zhongli: Justice flows across the surface of the waters, war rages like a flame, as does that which the Cryo Archon once... Yes, these details are masterfully done.

G. Shan:  Hehehe, the compliments of a learned man truly are pleasant.

Zhongli: Well then, Granny Shan, I shall take these back with me. As for the payment...

Y/n: aS fOr tHe pAyMenT.

Zhongli: It's not that bad...

The two simply look at him with deadpanned expressions.

Zhongli: ... Maybe a little.

Paimon: a lItTlE.

Childe: Well, allow me.

To your right comes the savior of Mora, Childe. As he walks with exaggerated swagger of a Russian Fatui.

Paimon: Hey, it's Childe!

Y/n: Stalking us, huh?

Childe: Haha, no way. I was just passing through!

Y/n: What a stalker would say.

Childe: Come on now, Y/n. No need to be like that? Right, chopstick comrade?

Y/n: Sure, sure... ("The walls have ears", and definitely one of the ears are the Fatui.)

Childe: See? No need to be hostile. Ah, I see Mr. Zhongli's the same as ever. When paying-- Well, when getting others to pay for him, he neither looks at the price tag not his wallet.

Y/n: Well, he is looking at you... So I'd say the latter doesn't count.

Childe: That's... Actually, that's basically it...

Y/n: That's tuff, buddy.

Childe: Oh well, it's normal. He knows a great deal about money, and about the trails of the common man. He just doesn't consider poverty to be something that could ever happen to him. Or perhaps you could say that he cannot imagine himself lacking money.

Y/n: I wonder why......................

Said Y/n with a suspecious tone while directly looking at they eyes of the consultant.

Zhongli: ...

That's a lotta dots.........Wait I did it too. Shit!

Paimon: How has he not died of hunger yet?

Y/n: Simple. Cannibalism. He just eats the corpses of people he is supposed to bury.

Zhongli: Your imagination truly is fascinating, Traveler.

Y/n: Thanks, I don't really try.

Zhongli: Well then, since we've purchases our kites without incident, there's no need to take a break before moving to the next step in our preparations. The Rite of Parting requires helping hands as well as materials. We should be able to find some people near the harbor.

Childe: Ah, I see. Y/n, take this bag if money. Just don't let Zhongli do the bargaining... I'm sure that you already know why.

Y/n: Got it. Spend it all at once.

Childe: Haha, you truly live joking... That was a joke... Right...? Right?

Y/n: Don't worry, Childe. Let the Adulte's handle this.

Childe: *sigh* Oh boy...

You look behind the Fatui Harbinger and notice two blue haired boys, one looks quite familiar and the other is the same person that gave you the direction. They were currently flying kites.

Xingqui: As you can see, Chongyun, this is very important for your training.

Chongyun: I don't really get it...

Xingqui: Think of the kite as if it's an evil spirit! And you are trying to pull it, not letting it escape. We gotta start low!

Chongyun: Ah! I see! I will do my absolute best! I will see an evil spirit and I will exorcis it!

Xingqui: Neheheheh. I know you will.

Y/n: (Hm. That's cool, I guess.)

The three proceed to leave in search of adventurers to give commissions, while Childe was watching them go.

Childe: Hmm... Seems like I have missed out on some interesting information. I suppose I should find more of an oppurtune moment next time.

With the funeral lads. Wee see them in front of a lad.

Tic: Oh? Help? Sure! I, Tic, always go in one hundred percent effort into everything I do! So what's the job?

Y/n: (Who decided to name their child that?)

Zhongli: Let me see... We are still missing some wooden implements over at Yuijinh Terrace. They aren't uncommon objects, so I didn't make any special preparations for them. It's best if you bring 50 tree branches, and 20 stacks of timber.

Tic: No problem. That'll be twenty thousand Mora for a single trip. How does that sound?

Zhongli: Do-

Paimon: N O.

Y/n: That's quite a lot... Hmm...Twelve thousand, how does that sound?

Tic: Let me think... Deal. The price is reasonable. I'll hop right to it.

Y/n: (Well... That was easier than I thought.)

N E X T

Tac: A full day job of odd jobs at Yuijing Terrace? Hmm... No problem. Twenty-five thousand Mora per day. A fair trade, yes?

Paimon: Woah! That's a bit expensive! Um, could you give us a discount on account of the whole Hero of Mondstadt thing?

Y/n: A bonus is an autogr--

Tac: Hero of Mondstadt? Never heard of them.

Y/n: ... My pride... Shattered to pieces... To a Tic-Tac. What an at-Tac-k...

Patting you on the back, the BigDongZhong proceeds to speak with the Tac.

Zhongli: Wel, you may have never heard of this hero, but it seems you've heard of Mora nonetheless, thus I will simply pay the wh--

Paimon: S H U T.

Y/n: (Still have about 38,000...) Well, in a way, it's not exactly a full day, there is food, kites, food and a bear. How does 15,000 Mora sound?

Tac: This price'll do. No loss to me for a day's work.

Y/n: (I'm on a roll!)

N E X T

Toe: Hiring help? Sure, but let me just say first that I'm a reserve member of the Adventurers' Guild. I take advertising commissions but won't do anything clerical.

Y/n: (Toe... Fucking T O E! Who names these people!? Wait... Tic-tac-toe... Oooooooh! This world got living, breathing jokes.)

Zhongli: Adventure... Venturing into the mountains to capture a few crystalflies seems adventurous enough. Adventurer, we ask that you bring us 5 crystalflies.

Toe: Eh? That's not hard, almost a bit too easy for a reserve adventurer... Eh, never mind. I'll only charge you fifteen thousand Mora. What say you?

Zhongli: A most....

He stops himself as he looks at the floating emergency food, before slowly turning his head back towards the TOE.

Zhongli: ... Fair pri--

Paimon: S I L E N C E.

Zhongli: Not again...

Y/n: Well then, brave adventurer. This task is as you said, not hard. I acknowledge that you need to travel to the mountains, and catching these flies can be quite annoying... Poor mobile players... Whaddya say about 11,000 Mora? Bonus 1,000 if you bring them as quick as possible.

Toe: Hmmm... Five Geo Crystalflies... Sounds good. I'll do it.

Y/n:

Y/n: (If he does get that bonus then I'll be left with... QUAK MEFS! 21,800 Mora... Now onto planning on a reason of how we spent it all...)

Zhongli: You should head back to Childe and give the leftover money. I'll meet you all there in a few moments.

Y/n: (... I don't really have to... But he may tell Childe about it in the future... Whatever, Zhongli doesn't count so I can give back SOME. Hehehehe...)

SCENE CHANGE

Childe: All finished then? Splendid. Any leftover cash is yours to keep.

Y/n: It's-- Wait what?

Childe: *chuckles* A surprise, huh? Don't feel bad, a favor for the Fatui should never go unrewarded.

Y/n: Uh-huh... Thanks.

Paimon: You think you can buy us with some loose change? No way! Paimon demands to know when the next payment is coming!

Childe: Hahahaha. Well, how does this sound: You give me the information I need, and maybe I'll leave the Northland Bank's vaults open and unattended for half an hour...

Paimon: What info do you need!?

Y/n: Hahaha-No.

Paimon: Huh? Y/n, why? Paimon thought that you'd accept.

Y/n: Maybe if the info was something I don't really care about nor need. After all, I haven't forgot what happened back in Mondstadt.

Paimon: Yikes! You're right. Signora...

The Harbibger's expression turns into somewhat dark one, before quickly returning to his usual "smile".

Childe: You both need to calm down... Especially you, Y/n. Like I said, we're friends here. Just what is this about? The atmosphere got tense all of a sudden.

Y/n: Dude, you're so obvious...

Childe: ...

A staring contest between the harbinger and the protagonist, oh joy!

Paimon: Eheh...

The BigDongZhong finally showed up.

Zhongli: Next, we need some Everlasting Incense. For this, we need to go Yo Bubu Pharmacy, the finest pharmacy of all--

He seems to finally notice the staring contest, as proceeds to cross his arms and asks.

Zhongli: Is... Everything okay?

Y/n: As fine as a glass of water at 3 AM.

Childe: Definitely... I was just telling them that they can keep the leftover Mora. Now, if you'll excuse me, I mist be going.

He begins heading back towards the Northland Bank clearly unhappy.

Y/n: (He'll definitely try to find a way to get the information about the Exuvia... Gotta keep an eye out and not mess this up.)

Zhongli: Are you okay, Y/n?

Y/n: Never been better.

Zhongli: You know if Childe is bothering you, you can just tell me.

Y/n: He wasn't really bothering, for now at least. Still, thanks for the concern.

PHANTOM TIMESKIP

T

he three climbers the last set of stairs and entered the big pharmacy. Though no one seems to be inside.

Paimon: Huh, the reception is deserted. And it seems kinda spooky here. Hello? Is anybody here?

Y/n: GHOST!

Paimon: AAAAAAAAH! WHERE!? ACTUALLY NO! LET'S GET OUTTA OF HERE!

Y/n: PFFT! AHAHAHAHA!

Ah yes, you were laughing your ass off at the scared Paimon. With one arm on your chest, and the other on your knee.

Paimon: Eh? WHY YOU!? YOU ALMOST GAVE PAIMON A HEART ATTACK!

Y/n: Hehehehe. Sorry.

Zhongli: (Not another one...)

Paimon: *sigh* This time Paimon forgives you, but if you do it again--

???: Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy.

It was a monotonous voice with no emotion. It seems to belong to a girl.

Paimon: This isn't funny, Y/N!

Y/n: Ah yes, my ass cheeks are the source of noise. How could I have forgotten? Let's ignore where the voice came from as well.

Paimon: Wait... W-where did it come from?

Zhongli: The reception, it seems.

Paimon: How about... You go check it out, Y/N, and... Paimon will give you moral support.

Y/n: Well... Yolo.

Ummm.... You shouldn't say that to her...

Y/n: (Narrator, why?)

Uhhh... You'll see.

You start approaching the reception...

You see a purple hat, with some sort of paper under it... You see a Cyan light from the side of her hat, as it revealed to be a Cryo Vision. There was purple hair too, as slowly but surely, you saw the person... Or will.... Kid.

Qiqi 'Amnesiac Cocogoat Hunter'

Paimon: Oh... It's just a little girl! But... She can't even reach the counter.

Y/n: Are you really one to talk about heights, Pai?

Paimon: Shut it! Paimon can fly! What can you do?

Y/n: ... Glide?

Paimon: ... Fair enough. Wait... Is she... A zombie!? Look at her talisman!

Y/n: ... Oh.

Qiqi: Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy. I am Qiqi. Once upon a time, Qiqi died. Then, Qiqi was saved by the adepti. Now, Qiqi is a zombie.

Said the zombie nonchalantly.

Y/n: Oh... Uhh... Hi.

Qiqi: Hello.

Y/n: (Why do I feel bad for this kid...? I don't even know her. She probably is way older than me, she'll be the one calling me a kid.) So... Do zombies count as adepti if saved by adepti or something?

Paimon: Such thing is unimaginable in Mondstadt.

Y/n: Well... You can't be too sure. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We just don't know yet.

Zhongli: Hello... Little girl. Do you sell Everlasting Incense here?

Qiqi: Excuse me, sir. Did you bring your prescription?

Zhongli: I... Surely no prescription is needed to purchase Everlasting Incense? It's not a controlled substance...

Qiqi: Qiqi can get your medicine. But only if you show Qiqi your prescription. These are Qiqi's orders, from Qiqi.

Y/n: "Orders"?

Zhongli: Zombies are limited to acting within their confines of their orders. And somehow, in this case, the zombie issues her own orders. To herself.

Y/n: How unique. We should get her to these talent shows, she'd immediately get the golden buzzer from a sad backstory by just saying "I was born on a very young age.".

Zhongli: My dear Qiqi, we couldn't bring a prescription, I'm afraid. But we do that you can still help us find some Everlasting Incense.

Y/n: I have candy right here. I'll give it to you as long as there is no fetch quests.

Qiqi: Okay then.

Said Qiqi as she was looking at the older man.

Y/n: Or you can just ignore me... This is fine.

Paimon: Wow, how did you manage that, Mr. Zhongli?

Qiqi: But. Qiqi helps you, you help Qiqi. Only fair.

Paimon: Since when do costumers need to do favors for costumer service staff?

Zhongli: NEVER mind, just think of it as a peer-to-peer transaction. That way everybody wins. Sometimes, in Liyue, the art of the deal is simply about victory via mental gymnastics.

Qiqi: Go to Mt. Tianheng. Find the Guizhong Ballista. And hunt a Cocogoat. Please and thank you.

Y/n: No cookies for you.

Zhongli: The Guixhong Ballista, at least, I have heard of before. It is a kind of crossbow turret, installed on Mt. Tianheng by an adeptus in the distant past. An early mechanical device.

Zhongli: Located in Tianheng Pass, it was designed to automatically fire at large monsters, protecting Liyue from external threat.

Paimon: Mr. Zhongli really knows Liyue inside out!

Zhongli: Apparently, not quite... This is the first time I have ever heard of "Cocogoat".

Y/n: Imagine if the large monsters just wanted to mind their business as they were passing through only to get shot down in front of their families. Well, little Jimmy isn't gonna see his parents anytime soon.

Qiqi: The Cocogoat is a legendary animal. An adeptibeast.

Paimon: Do you want to add anything else, or...

Qiqi: No. Just that the Cocogoat is a legendary animal. An adeptibeast. What it looks like: don't know. Where to find it: don't know wither. Where it came from: also don't know.

Y/n: This isn't really helpful... (It's quite weird seeing Zhongli not know about this... Was my theory wrong or is he just pretending? But the name Guizhong is... Ah, right. The seats back where that bird brain that wanted to destroy Liyue. )

Zhongli: Very well then... Let's start by investigating near the Guizhong Ballista. Perhaps we will find some clues.

Paimon: *sigh* What the heck is a Cocogoat...?

Y/n: A brown goat to the point it looks like a coconut?

Zhongli: Hmmm... Most likely.

TIMESKIP BROUGHT YOU BY QIQI CHASING A BLUE HAIRED WOMAN WITH HORNS

Y/n: This looks... Really normal...

The three of you were currently looking at the ballista. But it didn't look like anything special.

Paimon: What are you talking about? It's huge! Paimon can totally believe that an adeptus built this.

Y/n: I expect it to be more.... Bigger and with some fancy colors... But I guess if it works, it's good.

Paimon: Uhh... How do you operate this thing? Just think how much strength you would need...

Zhongli: Hmm... It is currently inoperable, in any case. This device is broken.

Paimon: What? It broke!?

Y/n: Well, guess it's useless then...

Zhongli: After millenia of wear and tear, even adepti contraption are difficult to maintain.

Paimon: So what're we gonna do? Quick, Mr. Zhongli, use your unlimited high-society powers!

The consultant looks at the floating marshmallow a bit... Sad.

Zhongli: Hmm. You almost make it sound like I'm some sort of... Bourgeois pasasite, whose only utility lies in providing quaint pieces of trivia on demand. That said, let me think for a moment...

Y/n: Well... You do live on other people's money while providing them information about what they need or something. Yikes...

Zhongli: ... That makes most sense...

Y/n: ...

Paimon: ...

Y/n: (... His eyes are orange, and something is word about them... The end of his hair is a little bit orange... Where have I- Wait... Venti! Venti has bluish green in his pig tails or whatever they call it... The color for Anemo... Orange... Geo... Wait a mcfucking second!)

Zhongli: ... Ah yes. Spare parts were made for the Guizhong Ballista when it was first built, in case it was damaged in battle. As I recall, there is a military supply post from that period somewhere inside the Pass.

Y/n: Uh-huh.... (Is it really him...?)

Zhongli: If we can retrieve the spare parts from where they are stored, we may be able to repair the Guizhong Ballista. One just needs to understand the basic working principles of the device.

Y/n: (But... Why would he...?)

Paimon: So... What you're saying is that you actually understand the working principles?

Zhongli: I have a smattering knowledge on this topic. With the parts in hand, I could at least tinker with it.

Y/n: Alright, I'll go get them... In the meantime, wait here.

Junpong off the small platform, you see the place is locked, but a window place was just inviting you in.

Inside the Pass, you were currently grabbing the mats.

Y/n: (It's gotta be him... There has to be some sort of plot twist. No one else is here so this is the perfect place. Venti seems to be quite friendly even calling him "Rexy", I guess my life won't be in danger.)

Somehow openibg the gate by standing on some sort of symbol. You walk out with the mats in hands, returning to where Zhongli... Or well...

Zhongli: Ah, these parts look useful. One moment, I will try to repair the device...

He crouched down to the base of the device with one of the parts in hand.

Y/n: Before I forget. Venti says hi.

Zhongli: Huh?

Y/n: Ah, my bad. Barbatos says hi.

Paimon: Wait what?

Y/n: Soooo.... Mr. Zhongli, how does it feel directing your own funeral?

Paimon: Wait. Hold up! W H A T ! ?

You proceed to sit down next to the consultant.

Zhongli: ... It is an interesting experience, to say the least.

Y/n: I can imagine.

Zhongli: I have to say, I'm impressed. How exactly did you figure it out?

Y/n: Well, you seem a bit TOO knowledgeable for a normal person, and the fact that you know some unknown adeptus back in Liyue. In Mond, Venti-- or Barbatos' human form had bluish green eyes, and the end of his pigtails were the same color. And you as well seem to have the same thing... Except it's in the Geo color.

Zhongli: Hmm...

When you mentioned the bard, the Geo Archon seems to be quite mad.

Y/n: Did I say something wrong?

Zhongli: No, no. It's just that drunkard is a disgrace to the arts... *sigh* Never mind.

Paimon: Well he still is a drunkard, but whaaaaaaaat? You're Rex Lapis!?

Y/n: Well, one question... Why exactly did you "die"?

Zhongli: Hm... I am afraid I cannot tell you that, yet.

Paimon: But why?

Zhongli: A contract is a contract.

Y/n: Ah, the floor here is made out of floor. I'll keep the secret.

Zhongli: That easy?

Y/n: I honestly don't really care, I'm pretty sure you know the only thing that matters for me.

Zhongli: I know, I have heard of your wishes... The first ones, I did not really get. But the last one, well... Some people can be closer than you think, Y/n.

Y/n: Excuse me?

The BigDongZhong slightly looks up to the sky.

Paimon: Huh? Wait. What is THAT!?

Zhongli: I think you got the message.

Y/n: That... Floating thing? Floating palace thing.

Zhongli: It's called the Jade Chamber. There is a very high chance that they know about your friends.

Y/n: Know? You aren't for certain??

Zhongli: Everything in Liyue or well... Most things, are known to the Tianquan Ningguang. You will find what you need there.

Y/n: Hmm... So that'll be my next move then.

Zhongli: One last thing, Y/n, I see that you are currently using Anemo even after I blessed you with the Geo.

Y/n: I think it's best if I keep it a secret, for now. Don't worry though, I checked them out, I actually like them.

Zhongli: *nods* Very well, let us fix the Guizhong Ballista.

Paimon: There was too much information for Paimon... Oh, so the reason of why you are "broke" is because you are trying to bankrupt the Fatui, right?

Zhongli: Uh. Yeah, that's the reason...

Y/n: Press X to doubt.

TIMESKIP BROUGHT YOU BY VENTI HIDING FROM ZHONGLI

Zhongli: It is done. The Guizhong Ballista is more intricately designed than I imagined... As expected from Guizhong...

Y/n: (Oh dear... Of course, there has to be sad backstories.)

Paimon: Wait. Since you are Rex Lapis, how can't you not know what the Cocogoat is?

Zhongli: Maybe it's something I overlooked... *sigh*

Y/n: Well... Maybe it just popped outta no-where?

Looking through the scope, that Z O O M S.

Paimon: Over here we have... Nothing.

Looking to the right.

Paimon: And over there... More nothing.

Y/n:  ...Someone is watching us.

Zhongli: Hmm.

The two of you look down to see three treasure hoarders, while Paimon looked at them with the scope.

Treasure Hoarder: Hey! Just what do you think you're doing!?

Y/n: Bitch, what?

T. Hoarder: So, you've fixed up this turret... Because you're planning to do what, exactly!?

Zhongli: Not a turret. A Guizhong Ballista. Also, kindly state your name before you ask a question, it's just good manners.

T. Hoarder: Hah! Are you blind or something? You're looking at the lease of the Treasure Hoarders old man!

Y/n: Oh, it's just a generic bad guy that'll only show up for one scene.

T. Hoarder: This area's supposed to be chock-full of hidden treasures, but you can't get anywhere near them with this thing keeping watch. It might look like any other mechanical device, but trust me, it's got a kind of its own! Last time we approached the mountain, it nearly skewered one of our guys...

Y/n: You sure it's not Xiangling trying to cook all of you?

T. Hoarder: Shut it! A few of us risked out lives to disarm it-- which, amazingly, we managed-- and then we turn our backs for two seconds and you've ALREADY GONE AND REPAIRED IT!?

Y/n: I dunno about you guys, but he looks a lil' bit angry... Just a bit.

T. Hoarder: Shut it, kid! The next thing all of you will be repairing is your faces, and that's if you get out alive!

Zhongli: Tut-tut. Vandalizing the legacy of an adeptus for selfish gain. Disgraceful behavior. It is not we who need reprimanding, but you.

The two treasure hoarders behind the leader proceed to throw knives at the trio. Luckily, Y/N YEETED the away, then proceeds to jump with his sword in hand, plunging it downwards, as the two treasure hoarders fly off, because physics.

Zhongli simply jumped down, landing safely, looking directly at the leader.

The treasure hoarder pulls out a hammer, and proceeds to charges liek a maniac towards the BigDongZhong.

The totally dead Geo Archon just crossed his arms, waiting for him... Then....

Zhongli: Crumble!

THAT'S A DI- Ahem... A tall Pillar rises from the ground, hitting the leader's family jewels, and sending him flying.

He falls to the floor next to the Pillar, unfortunately for him, his suffering wasn't over. As the Pillar shoots out some sort of shockwave.

While Y/n super kicked someone off the platform.

Y/n: HE'S DEFINITELY ALIVE, BY THE WAY! IT'S JUST A RUBBER FALL!

For some reason, the hoarders thought it was a good idea to spawn. As about five of the seven rush towards the BigDongZhong.

Zhongli did a pro gamer move and T-posed, as he sends the all flying off, he got a shield in the process.

An archer in the background is seen shooting, but 1.3 said hello with the Zhongli buff. It was useless.

The consultant summons his spear, and slashes it horizantly on two, then vertically on the others.

You can see Y/n in the background becoming a tornado with knives in hand, letting them go, the knives pierce the hoarders.

THEY AREN'T DEAD, BY THE WAY! RUBBER KNIVES!

The last one standing was an archer, Zhongli stabs his spear on the ground, before kicking as the spear does the most powerful thing ever... Spinning.

Haha, Archer gets hit goes BRRRR.

And thus.... Unsurprisingly, the main characters won. Then the hoarders disappeared because no one really cares about them, let's be honest here.

Paimon: Ha! These lowlife didn't know who they were messing with!

Y/n: Average disposable unimportant characters.

Zhongli: Troubling ourselves over this rabble is not worth the time. We should focus on our contract with Qiqi.

Paimon: Oh yeah... That. So we've got the Guizhong Ballista working, but where's our Cocogoat?

Zhongli: A search using the Guizhong Ballista revealed no significant life forms nearby, save for the usual wildlife. What's more, a contraption built using adeptus technology should have no trouble detecting an "adeptibeast" as Qiqi put it...

Paimon: *sigh* Which means...

Y/n: Well... That sucks.

Paimon: But, we did something positive... Right?

Zhongli: We won't solve anything while standing here and racking our brains. Let's return to Bubu Pharmacy, explain that we could not find a Cocogoat, and review our next step.

Paimon: Good idea. We did our best, and that's what counts.

Y/n: (Jade Chamber... I need to find a way to go there.)

TIMESKIPS BROUGHT YOU BY NINJA Y/N BEING STUCK ON A TREE

The three of you were currently in the pharmacy, as Zhongli proceeds to tell the zombie about the bad news.

Zhongli: Forgive us, we were unable to fulfill our end of the contract. We found no trace of the Cocogoat adeptibeast of which you spoke.

Qiqi: Ah. What a disappointment. Don't worry about it. But I feel very disappointed.

Paimon: Aw, poor Qiqi... Why does Paimon feel guilty all of a sudden?

Y/n: *shrugs* I dunno. Hey, Qiqi, what exactly do you need this Cocogoat for?

Almost immediately she answers, even with her monotone voice, there was a very small hint of excitement in it.

Qiqi: Cocogoat milk is tasty. So tasty. Much better than normal goat milk. Only an adeptibeast could make such tasty milk.

She puts her hand on her head, as if trying to remember something.

Qiqi: I'm sorry. I have a poor memory. I cannot remember the name of the milk. That's why I wrote it down. Where did I put it...

She begins looking around for a bit, before walkibg towards a table nearby. Qiqi proceeds to get hold of a paper and reads it.

Qiqi: Ah. Here. This is the name. "Coconut milk."

Zhongli: Huh!?

Y/n: What!?

Paimon: Ehh!?

Zhongli: Err...

Y/n: This is a certified bruh moment.
(And here I though the Rex Lapis didn't know his own region, due to his personality, I'm pretty sure he'd try his absolute best to understand his people and place... While Venti on the other hand, just crashes into the winery. I wonder how Diluc's doing... )

He looks back towards the surprised duo of the chef and the emergency food.

Zhongli: I owe you both an apology. I hastily agreed to what appeared to be an equitable agreement with this zombie child when perhaps I should have undertaken further due diligence.

Paimon: Uh. Never mind Zhongli, you didn't know. As the Liyue proverb goes, "All things are random, and... So how are you supposed to predict anything." Literally no-one could have seen this coming...

Qiqi: Excuse me everyone. Did Qiqi say a bad thing?

Paimon: Ooh.. Sorry, Y/n, but Paimon's gonna peace the job of shattering the poor kiddo's world to you...

Y/n: Of course... *sigh* Come here, Qiqi.

You crouch down to the coconut milk lover's level, and put an arm on her shoulder.

Y/n: This is gonna sound a bit surprising and sad to you, but... Santa isn't real. And Coconut milk comes from a Coconut.

Qiqi: No... Im-Impossible... How could this be....

Y/n: (I never likes kids.... But why do I feel bad, dammit!? Quick, random bullshit!) Let me explain in a better way! Paimon, help me here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0AOGeqOnFY

Qiqi: Woah... Qiqi really likes this song.

Paimon: Mission success. High five!

*le high five*

Zhongli: I don't really know where that came from... But it seems that you did well.

Qiqi: Uhh... Your name Y/n, right?

Y/n: Yup!

The little zombie then proceeds to get a pen from the same table she got the paper from, and writes.

Qiqi: Done. Qiqi will now never forget. Thank you.

Y/n: (.... Why the fuck...Are you so damn cute!?)

???: Well, this was a very nice show, it even included good life lessons. Thank you all for looking after my little Qiqi.

Y/n: Haha. Sorry, buddy, but she chose me. I'm her father now.

Qiqi: Oh, okay.

Paimon: Wha-?

Zhongli: Might I ask, who...

Baizhu 'Dendro-What?'

Baizhu: Ah, how rude of me. I am Baizhu, boss of Bubu Pharmacy.

Y/n: Tire the first Dendro Boi I've ever seen... And you're also a Fem-boy... Please tell me that you know Aether.

Baizhu: Oh, I'm afraid I don't.

Y/n: Damn you, Fem-boys...

Paimon: Paimon thought Qiqi was the boss... Turns out it's some wacko eo wears medical ingredients around his neck!

Y/n: Also known as Snecc.

White Snake: What a sorry state of affairs... This little mascot is even more of a simpleton than Qiqi...

Paimon: Ah! The medicine-- The snake is s-speaking!

Y/n: Wow... Cool... I guess. I'm honestly not surprised anymore...

White Snake: Hmph! I prefer to stay silent. But faced with strangers, I must speak lest you mistake me for an escapee from the medicine cabinet for I am a living, breathing, serpant!

Y/n: Yeah, that's what snakes are.

White Snake: Hmph!

Y/n: hMpH!

White Snake: Stop copying me!

Y/n: sToP cOpYiNg mE!

Baizhu: Hahaha, don't mind Changdheng, she's a good girl, really. As for you three... Communal chaos-causing with Qiqi aside, what business brings you here?

Zhongli: Do you sell Everlasting Incense in this fine establishment?

Baizhu: Everlasting Incense? Of course, we do.

Paimon: Phew, at last! Things are finally starting to come together--

Baizhu: Three million Mora, top quality, guaranteed.

You slightly look at the consultant, to see him nod.

Y/n: "Guaranteed"... Honestly, you're better off at robbing the Golden House!

Paimon: Too bad, the Aixing have taken it over for now... Security will be tighter than usual.

Y/n: Heh...

You proceed to put your attention on patting Qiqi. How relaxing.

Qiqi: This is... Nice.

Zhongli: Hmm... Three million... AN innocuous number in and of itself, though partially speaking, it could be a hard sum to come by.

Paimon: Even Mr. Zhongli said so! It's a crazy number! We'd never be able to make that much Mora, and as for Mr. Zhongli... He's around three million short.

(Meanwhile players who actually had over 3 million...)

Zhongli: This is correct.

Y/n: --And there was thid dragon. FWOOSH! It flied like the oversized lizard it is.

Qiqi: Woah...

Paimon: Y/n is not even listening... What are we gonna do? Is this the part where we go crawling back to Childe...?

Y/n: Nah, he is the one giving Zhongli the molah for the rite not to us. (Honestly, I'd say that he should give us a discount for helping Qiqi, but that's the Fatui's money... Soo... I don't really care.)

15 minutes later

Childe: Bwahahahaha! C-Cocogoat!? Cocogo-- Ahahaow my sides hurt... Oh my goodness, I cannot BELIEVE you fell for that!

Y/n: It's that funny? Hmm.

Paimon: Hey! Less laughter, more sympathy!

Childe: I'm almost in tears over here... Ah, thank you, that was the best laugh I've had in a long time. In return, I'm more than happy to sort this mess you've managed to get yourself into...

The 11th Fatui Harbinger turns and meets the boss of the pharmacy.

Chikde: Excuse me, sir... Dr. Baizhu, isn't it? Truly honored, I'm Childe, one if the Fatui Harbingers. Forgive my audacity, but I see a great many opportunities for us to collaborate in the future...

Childe: If Bubu Pharmacy needed a stable supply of, say, coconut milk, the Fatui could help by setting up a robust and speedy distribution network.

Changsheng: Strange... I knew the Fatui infiltrated businesses with seductive deals, but... So much fuss iver coconut milk?

Y/n: Coconut milk is the MVP of this chapter, leave it be.

Qiqi: Coconut milk. Baizhu. Quick. Qiqi wants coconut milk.

Baizhu: Ah... Yes, of course, Qiqi, anything you want... Th-thank you, Childe. I look forward to a successful collaboration in the future. I can give you a discount on 5hat Everlasting Inscense too, let's say... 2,990,000 Mora.

Y/n: The generosity leaking from this man, you'd think it's damn Niagara Falls.

Paimon: But that's like, zero difference from three million!

Zhongli: Hmm... 2,990,000... Also an innocuous number in and of itself, though practically speaking it is a whole ten thousand less than the original sum if three million.

Y/n: Thank you, Zhongli. Very cool.

Zhongli: Well, now that this is settled, we must head back to Yuojing Terrace. Mr. Childe, Dr. Baizhu, Little Miss Qiqi, see you soon.

The first to walk out was the Fatui Harbinger as he puts his hand to his head.

Chiide: That lot is an absolute riot. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

He removes his hand and slightly tilts his head with a now serious expression.

Childe: So. You've been eavesdropping, I hope. What have I missed?

From behind the pillar Childe was looking at comes out the receptionist for Northland Bank, Ekaterina.

Ekaterina: Yes, Master Childe. They spoke of the Qixing taking the Golden House...

Childe: Well, well, well. Ningguang and her Qixing cronies. What else would they be hiding in the Golden House... If not the Exuvia?

Childe looks back towards the pharmacy to see the same people there except Zhongli. And Y/n was carrying Qiqi somewhat talking with the doctor.

Y/n: So, do you have a long tongue like a frog to use in battle?

Baizhu: No, where are you getting these ideas from?

Changsheng:I think this boy read a bit too mucb fantasy books

Y/n: Talking mad shit for someone in a fantasy world.

Changsheng: ... You win this round.

Qiqi: Will you. Bring Coconut milk?

Y/n: Next time I come here.

Childe: ... I apologize, Y/n... But I warned you, didn't I? As the old saying in Liyue goes: "The walls have ears."

Y/n: *whisper* I love how he thinks I can't hear him not see him. He's literally there, there is no door. If only he realizes how stupid he looks.

Paimon: *whisper* Shut... Paimon is barely containing her laughter....

And thus Childe left.

Y/n: Well, I best be off. Zhongli is waiting for me, and we are finally done with the this. Toodles! And, Chengdheng, I'll bring Xiangling with me next time.

Changsheng: DON'T YOU DA--

TIMESKIP BROUGHT YOU BY SNECC SCARF

You met up with the guy who is directing his own funeral at Yuijing Terrace.

Zhongli: Well, as it stands, we've hired helpers, and we've acquired the Everlasting Incense. The completion of our preparations is not far off.

Y/n: Wait. I thought we were done. It's been two whole chapters. Two whole ass chapters!

Paimon: Well, at least we can get this over with.

Zhongli: Well, did Childe fall for it?

Y/n: Yup. Guess they'll make their move on the Golden House not too long. (Maybe this'll give the chance to infiltrate the Chamber while the Qixing is busy protecting the House.)

Zhongli: Hmm. Good.

Paimon: Paimon still doesn't know if we experienced the life of high society or the struggles of the poor here...

Zhongli: Haha, which is it, I wonder? The questions that such travels raise are ever so complicated. Well, I'll leave you to ruminate over it yourselves. As to remuneration for your help, I've decided... To treat you to a mean.

He said that with dhuch a happy smile, as if he is proud of himself.

Y/n: Ah... Thanks.

Zhongli: And don't worry, I will remember to bring Mora this time.

Character development.

Paimon: Aren't you the... You-Know... Can't you just create them?

Zhongli: I'd rather experience the mortal life for now, Paimon. Tonight, I shall take you both to an old hole-in-the-wall, praised throughout Liyue.

Paimon: Hole-in-the-wall? As in... A cool restaurant?

Zhongli: Indeed. Let us meet near the harbor at "Third-Round Knockout."

Y/n: Sounds like a bar slogan.

And so Rex makes his exit... Rexit.

Before you boo me, this was an achievement from the game.

Y/n: I mean... I'm already going there. I don't get the reason on why we aren't walking together.

TIMESKIP BROUGHT YOU BY THE BIG SAD

Zhongli: Ah, you're here. There is no need to order, I've already done so.

Y/n: Instant noodles?

Zhongli: *chuckles* No, no. It'll be an actual meal. "Third-Round Knockout" is not for lightweights, like those taverns in Mondstadt. Here, the owner does not take such unorthodox orders as fruit juice.

Y/n: So... You're telling me I can order wine?

Zhongli: I ordered some wine-fermented sweet rice balls for you, if that counts.

Y/n: It's like there is a competition going on with people not letting me drink alcohol...

Zhongli: Do not feel so bad, alcohol is not healthy for you.

Y/n: If you go too far with it, like anything else. Even the twins got a sip of them! Why can't I!?

Storyteller: ... If it is to your liking dear customers Xi shall continue the tale of Lady Ningguang's Jade Chamber.

Y/n: Ooh, convenient.

Paimon: This is a great atmosphere!

Zhongli: (At least he got side tracked...) Besides fine wine, the excellent ambiance is the reason why this place is so well-loved. But when I say ambiance, I refer to a different sort from the one the Teyvat Travel Guide user to judge other establishments.

Paimon: Oh right! We read the Liyue volume and saw that Alice, the writer, talked with you.

Zhongli: Heh. She truly had a weird way to see things.

Storyteller: As you all know, high above the land of Liyue lies a pavilion in the clouds, a palace in the mist...

Y/n: (Okay! Seriously!? Who the hell is ruining the mood by stalking me!?) *whisper* Someone's watching us....

Paimon: *whisper* Again!? Can't they go and slack off for a change?

Zhongli: Hmm. Leave it be, for now.

Storyteller: What does it mean to have all-seeing eyes? This, my friends: Lady Ningguang's masterwork that bridges earth and sky. Imagine. The weather is clear and you gave down from the deck on the world below... Behold! The glorious sights of Liyue Harbor, stretching far and wide!

The camera zooms out as now you can see the City of Contracts from a person ehith light blow hair, and some horns. She was looking directly at the Traveler. Thus why his paranoia kicked in... Do not look directly at the main character for too long if you are trying to sneak up on him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_FQJkm37a8

Y/n: So much lore and power behind her... Yet she is a four star. Nyeheheheh... I don't feel bad one bit, that's pollution you know. Well, if they merchant's don't lick all of them down.

Storyteller: These are but scraps of paper, and yet they guide Lady Ningguang's hand -- such is their value. Merely grasping one or two of them will surely gift you a fragment of her wisdom -- enough to stay a step or two ahead of your peers.

Paimon: Tianquan Ningguang... Feels like we're hearing this name a lot. Liyue locals talk about her, the Fatui hate her, she's most likely the one who hid the "Exuvia", and we saw her at the Rite of Descension... Huh, Paimon what sort of person she is...

Y/n: A female... Probably.

Paimon: "Probably"?

Y/n: You'd be surprised...

Zhongli: I don't want to know.

???: At last, I have found you, you who returned from Jueyun Karst.

Y/n: Whomst the fuck dares to intrupt my feeding? I have a chopstick! And I'm not afraid to gouch your eyeballs!

???: W-W-wait! Calm down please! I'm not with the Millelith, not am I here to claim your bounty.

Y/n: Did I say anything about that? Nope!

You look directly at said person, as now a picture is revealed.

Ganyu 'Cocogoat'

Y/n: Hey, Zhongli... I think that adeptibeast Qiqi talked about actually exists.

Zhongli: Do not even think about it.

Y/n: Think of what? My mind is as pure as water... Ignore the germs and some rubbish there.

Ganyu: Uhh... What?

Paimon: This is normal, don't worry!

Ganyu: Ah... Okay then... Where was I? Oh, right! I am emissary of the Liyue Qixing. My name is Ganyu, secretary at the Yuehai Pavilion, and I have come specifically to meet you.

Y/n: Standing on a roof while looking down on me, Ms. Emissary?

Ganyu: U-uh.. I didn't mean to offend you. But you look a bit confused, let me explain. In concrete terms, I am the corporate secretary for the Qixing. At the moment, I am serving as Lady Ningguang's special emissary.

Paimon: Ningguang sent you? We were just talking about her...

Y/n: The plot couldn't be more convenient... Actually it could, imagine if Ningguang showed u--

From the bar/restaurant, a man got kicked from the window as hip Ningguang with a back words cap, and sunglasses with untied shoes showed up.

Ningguang: Yo, yo! Wassup?

Zhongli: What the fu--

TAKE 2

A-AHEM...Sorry about that.

Ganyu: My apologies, you who have retuend from Jueyun Karst, I did not mean to interrupt your break... I am duty-bound, and cannot extend my courtesy to you in full. But I have wit me a letter from Lady Ningguang. She extends a formal invitation to you in her capacity as Tianquan. She invited you to her palace in the sky.

Paimon: An official invitation...?

Y/n: (That was easier than I though it'd be... Though it could be a trap.)

Ganyu: Lady Ningguang said this: "Invite the Traveler to come here. I wish to meet him. At the Jade Chamber, together, we shall snip every one of these entwining dark threads. Alongside someone you are familiar with."

Y/n: Eh!? Tell me about that som-and she's gone... Great.

Paimon: We just got an invitation from the Tianquan herself! Paimon can't believe it! Y/n! We'll be meeting peooek that have way more money than Paimon could ever count... We should be on our best manners!

Y/n: They can go and shove a cactus up their ass for all I care about. But... From the way she said it, it's friendly." Someone" It's only one of them...

Zhongli: Don't feel down, Y/n. This is a great step for you, it is far better than not finding any leads.

Y/n: Yeah, you're right... Still, though... It can get a bit boring without these two annoying twins fighting each other.

Paimon: One small step for man, one giant step for mankind!

Y/n: Mhmm.

Zhongli: Hah... An invitation to visit the Jade Chamber is a rare honor, indeed. You'd best be on your way now. But don't forget about the Rite of Parting.oncd you're finished, meet me at Dihua Marsh.

Y/n: And here I wanted the treats...

Zhongli: Maybe next time...

Y/n: Well...

You stand up from your seat, then you realize something.

Y/n: How the fuck do we get there?

_______________________________________

AAAAAAAH!

Oh, hey. I'm a bit tired. How are you though?

Another chapter is done. And I'm as tired as ever.

Soo... How was it? Good? Bad? WUT DA FUK?

SMOL

I seriously have nothing else to add

DashingBanana Out