Did you know that anger is a luxury?

Yup. It is. I know you'll say that it isn't but that's because you have this thing called health and energy.

Okay, so that's two things but still, you know what I mean.

Do you know how much energy it takes to be angry? So much!

It's exhausting just thinking about it.

You could say that's a good thing not to be angry but anger is a natural emotion.

Everyone gets angry. It goes wrong when people use that anger to hurt someone else. But being angry isn't a bad thing. There's enough terrible stuff in this world to make anyone angry.

Which is good, get pissed at the bad things and do something about it. Take action. Expel the anger in a productive way. Do it because you can and it's better than taking it out on someone.

But here's the thing about being sick, it takes work to expel anger.

What can I do?

Nothing. Walking is a chore so I can't really go conquer all the evils of the world.

Do I get angry?

That's a completely stupid question.

Of course I do. But sometimes it gets trapped.

I know I said I don't get angry and that anger is a luxury but what I meant was that type of anger where you scream or yell. Possibly throw something. The type of anger that is no longer just emotional but physical, where it feels like your body might explode with it.

I don't know, maybe you don't face that type of anger.

I face it but since I don't have the physical strength to handle that I turn it mental. I imagine throwing glass vases at the wall where they shatter into a million pieces and I scream at the top of my lungs until it hurts.

Then outwardly all I do is sit on a couch and stare out the window not showing anything.

Is that healthy?

An ironic question to ask a sick person I would say.

But what else is there to do? It's there and if I don't acknowledge it in some way one day it might eat me from the inside out.

This got dark so I will leave this. Don't hold onto your anger. It's okay to let yourself feel it but also try to let it go. Don't let it eat you. Don't let it hurt someone else because it's been bottled up too long.

For me, use it to make changes in your world or this world.

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What's up, Buttercup?🧈🥛

(I think that's a flower, right?)

Okay, what are you thinking about the chapter? Life? Anything really?

Honestly, this book is more depressing than I expected. Though what did I expect? It's about a girl struggling with health issues and her whole life changing.

Okay, put like that the fact that I thought it would be any less than depressing just proves how stupid I am. Or naive.

Which that last one is very true. I still see the world through a very positive light. But also understand the bad of this world at the same time. I'm a realist-optimist. It's a weird thing to be.

As always I'm grateful to you few who are sticking with this sinking ship of a book experiment!

Vote, comment, follow but if you don't, I won't mind, you've already done a lot by reading this!