Joo-Won nearly knocked off two people while on his way to the hospital. He didn't even remember when he came there nor how fast he ran up the stairs, but the only thing he knew was the fact that he was in front of Hwan's room right now. 

He quickly got inside, and froze.

Kyong, Min, and another nurse along with security were trying to calm Hwan, who was now on his bed, frantically trying to set himself loose from their grips. His forehead was bleeding badly, which was dripping from his eyebrows and his nose to his shirt. Min was trying to hold his arm still with one hand and holding a handcuff with the other. Kyong's eyes were filled with tears, but he quickly wiped them with his shoulder and tried to hold Hwan's other arm still.

Joo-Won slightly turned his head to the ground. On the floor, there was a trail of red dots leading to a concerningly big stain of blood on the wall. Beside the wall, Xander was holding Seojun, who was crying and desperately trying to go to Hwan. Xander was hugging the younger as he was trying his best not to sob.

Finally, Joo-Won's widened and tearful eyes met with Hwan's eyes. They were filled with frustration, but the second he saw Joo-Won, his knitted eyebrows raised as his eyes widened. His screams suddenly stopped, making everybody turn to Joo-Won.

Joo-Won could feel himself physically trembling in fear when he forced himself to take a step forward, but he just couldn't. He couldn't even breathe properly, it felt like someone was choking him. His heart was racing so fast that it felt like it was going to rip out of his chest at any moment. His knees were getting weaker and weaker with each passing second, his head was spinning like a ballerina.

Joo-Won was not able to control his tears anymore, which made Hwan slowly stop struggling. He looked remorseful. His tightened fists slowly opened while finally, his tensed-up upper body relaxed a bit.

When she found the chance, Min quickly handcuffed him to bed just like Kyong did. Hwan's vision started to get blurry, his bottom lip started to quiver as his widened eyes filled with tears. He mouthed a small sorry before he rested his head on the pillow. After a few seconds passed in silence, Kyong removed his trembling hands from his arm and took a step back. Xander slowly let Seojun go, who quickly got up and went over to his brother. As the other nurses and the security got out, Min stayed and watched as Hwan struggled to keep his eyes open. Before shutting them, their eyes met for the second time, a tear dropping from his eyes as they closed. Min let out a soft sob as she started to clean the blood and his injury with two other nurses that just arrived in the room after hearing Hwan's screams. Since it was bleeding from the outside, Min hoped that there was no injury from the inside.

Joo-Won could hear his own sob in the silent room, making him shiver. When he finally found the strength, he took a step forward, but nearly fell. A nurse quickly came near him but Joo-Won held out his hand to stop her and took a trembling breath. After he tried to calm himself a little, he finally looked at sleeping Hwan.

As Xander was just adjusting to everything, he saw Kyong was frozen on his spot.

Xander tried to hate him, he really did. But his heart just couldn't let him while his brain begged him to let go of Kyong. Even though it was horrible, he could understand why he was a part of this agreement. Xander knew that deep down, if he was in the same situation, he would choose what was best for his family without even hesitating.

But now, Xander hated himself. As he watched how Kyong was acting like he was a saint, Xander hated himself for overlooking this and not telling the truth to Joo-Won and Hwan. He knew that if he did, Hwan was going to be crushed and Joo-Won could even report him. Then who was going to look after Kyong's family?

Long story short, Xander just couldn't hate Kyong. And right now, when he was looking at his slightly trembling hands, he forgot about everything.

"Kyong?" Xander's worried voice made Joo-Won turn to them. Kyong plopped down on the floor and focused on the leg of the chair beside the bed instead of looking at Xander. Joo-Won widened his eyes once again when he saw Kyong's arms. They were filled with scratches, some of them were even bleeding. His hands were covered with Hwan's blood.

Joo-Won kneeled and looked at Kyong's arm, then his face. He was out of breath, it was clear that whatever happened affected him deeply. Kyong gulped and pulled his legs to himself. He was getting smaller and smaller as he buried his face in his knees and hugged his legs.

"Can you... can you give me a second?" Kyong mumbled.

Joo-Won silently sat on the floor and looked at Xander, who sniffed and wiped his tears. He patted Xander's shoulder before getting back up and looked around the room once again.

Joo-Won finally opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was still trembling. "How... did this happen? What's going on?"

Seojun ran his hands in his hair and messed it in anger. "It was because of me. I should have just stayed at home..."

Joo-Won quickly stopped him as he started to hit his head with his palms. He held Seojun's hands low and hugged him.

As he was crying on his shoulder, Xander got up. "We don't know how it happened but he fell on the ground. Or he dropped himself on purpose. According to him," He said showing Seojun with his hand, "when he got into his room, Hwan was constantly hitting his head on the wall."

As his eyes slowly went to the blood stains on the wall, Joo-Won took a step back. Seojun helped him to sit down on a chair. Xander kneeled in front of his older brother and held his hands. "He couldn't stop him, so he called security, then she called the nurses. I was on the same floor with Kyong when he got called so I came here with him. He..."

When he couldn't continue, Joo-Won squeezed his hands a bit. "H-he what?"

Xander sighed and looked down, he was avoiding eye contact. "I think he was having an attack maybe? Or an episode? It was kinda similar to... you know..." Xander turned his gazes away for a second as Joo-Won nodded in silence.

He was talking about how Yukio was the first time he tried to suicide. He had a breakdown similar to this and ended up hurting himself and having the doctors strap his wrists to the bed. Joo-Won suddenly felt extremely dizzy and sick.

"He was not letting us help him even though his forehead was bleeding like crazy. His eyes were red from crying and he was constantly screaming and banging his head on the floor. We couldn't stop him. He pushed me and Min away, and the other nurses couldn't hold his arms for too long. So Kyong and the security tried to carry him to his bed, but Hwan was punching Kyong's back and scratching him like crazy to let himself free. It was... It was horrifying to watch..."

Joo-Won gulped and tilted his head a little to look at Kyong. He was looking at them from the corner of his eye, the right side of his face still buried to his knees. Joo-Won showed him his gratitude with a small head nod and a forced sad smile, as he responded with a small nod back. He buried his face back to his knees and hugged his legs closer. His hands were still shaking a bit.

He looked traumatized. He loved Hwan so much and cared for him from the bottom of his heart. He was not only a patient but a friend of his as well. Joo-Won couldn't even imagine how he was feeling right now, but it is clear that it is more than just sadness.

As Joo-Won tried to get up and go to him, Xander stopped him. Yes, he was feeling bad for Kyong. Really bad. But at the same time, he couldn't just let his brother go near a person which is one of the main reasons for his lover's suffering. "Just... give him some time."

The fact that he was this calm in a situation like this amazed Joo-Won, but it was not something new. He was always this cold-blooded in times of panic. Joo-Won nodded and sighed, and silently waited for Hwan to wake up.

(...)

After a few hours that passed in silence, Min and a nurse got out of the room. Joo-Won bolted from the chair he was sitting like Seojun. "H-how is he?"

Min sighed. "He is better now. Thankfully he only had a small concussion. It will cause him to feel sick and have a headache for some time. We cleaned him up and treated the wound on his forehead. It's going to swell up but that's normal."

The other nurse looked at them with an expression that it was not all. She looked at Min for approval. When he nodded in silence, she turned to them. "We gave him an antipsychotic medicine. We will keep our eyes on him for a month to see if his condition worsens."

Xander got up in worry. "Wait, antipsychotic? Isn't that..."

Min looked down. "He was talking to himself when we first came to his room. You saw that too." Xander slowly nodded while Min continued. "He also thought that Kyong... was his father. That was why he attacked him."

Seojun closed his mouth with his hand. Joo-Won and Xander peaked their heads inside the room, only to see Kyong curled up in the same place he was hours ago.

Xander turned to Min. "How is he?"

"He is... pretty shaken up. We couldn't get him out of there, it's like he is stuck. We cleaned up his wounds too. The ones on his arms are not a big problem, but his back is bruised up pretty bad. He needs to get up from there for us to take a closer look but he refuses to move."

Xander nodded. "Can we get inside now?"

"Yes. Just be careful. We just removed one of Hwan's handcuffs but the other one is still cuffed just in case. Press the button if there is something wrong."

After they left, three of them got inside. Xander slowly sat on the ground near Kyong, who just looked at him once and turned his head back to the floor.

Hwan slowly opened his eyes. Both Joo-Won and Seojun went up to him and held his hands, making sure that he wouldn't try to do something. When he finally opened his eyes fully, he stared at the ceiling for a long time.

Joo-Won slowly sat on his side, which made Hwan turn his head to him. Joo-Won forced a smile in hopes of getting a reaction, but Hwan was just staring. He had a melancholic expression that made his smile fade as well. Joo-Won thought that Hwan couldn't process what was happening and his weird gazes proved him right. He was just staring everywhere like a lost deer in a crowded city. He was not scared or anything, just confused whether what happened and how to feel.

Joo-Won looked behind when they heard a noise. Kyong was slowly getting up, causing Xander to quickly get up as well. "Kyong-"

Kyong lifted his hand to stop him from talking and looked at Hwan, who was now looking at him. His expression slowly changed as he saw his condition. His lips slowly opened to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. He just continued to look at him, eventually watching him leave the room in silence as Xander shoot a look at Joo-Won and got out as well.

Now it was just the three of them.

"Hwan?" Seojun's whisper-like voice made Joo-Won turn to him, but Hwan silently rested his head back and continued to stare at the ceiling.

The uncomfortable silence made Joo-Won stressed once again as Seojun was desperate to receive an answer from his older brother. "Hwan please look at me."

As Joo-Won saw Hwan was slightly biting the corner of his bottom lip while his eyes started to redden, he turned to Seojun and held his shoulder. "Maybe you should-"

"No. Please. I just want to apologize... For everything I did and did not."

Hwan smiled forcefully. "It's okay." When his voice cracked he immediately look up again, his eyes constantly moving to avoid crying.

"No, it's not. I should have been there, protect you."

"You were just a kid." A tear slowly streamed down from the corner of Hwan's eye to his temporal, which he quickly wiped with his free hand. He was digging his index fingers' nails to the side of his thumb, clearly trying to distract himself.

Joo-Won sighed and stopped Seojun from talking more. "Seojun. Please. He should rest."

Seojun closed his mouth and looked at his older brother, whose head was turned the opposite way. Even though his eyes were not visible, Seojun noticed the movement of his shoulders and finally understood that he should stop. He silently nodded and left the room, leaving the two of them alone.

After minutes passed in silence, Hwan finally talked. "I had been having these... dreams."

Joo-Won looked at him in curiosity. "What dreams?"

"My memories, to be precise. I see glimpses of memories I try to forget, but now that I remember many things..." Hwan looked at him with worry in his eyes. "I'm scared that I'm going insane. I haven't been acting like myself for some time and now it is affecting everyone involved..."

Joo-Won tried to calm him, but he didn't know what to say either. "I... I think it would be for the best if you started seeing someone about this. Professional. You know I cannot help you with this."

Hwan nodded in silence. After a few seconds, Hwan talked again. "I want an amputation. I don't want to live like this anymore."

Joo-Won stayed silent and looked at the floor. "I know." They stayed silent again, neither of them knowing what to do nor what to say.

"I'm sorry."

Joo-Won knitted his eyebrows in confusion and turned to him. Hwan was looking at the side rail of the bed, his numbness after the wave of sadness was even visible in his eyes. He looked down at his fingers that were playing with the mattress. Joo-Won sighed and slowly lifted his hand and put it in front of Hwan's. When their fingertips touched, he stopped playing with the cover, but stayed silent. Then Joo-Won slowly put his hand on his, making Hwan lift his eyes to him. "You don't need to apologize. This is your life after all. I don't have a place to prevent you."

Hwan's small smile made Joo-Won feel a bit more at ease.

Hwan sighed and softly caressed his knuckles. "But I care about your opinion on this. And I need to know..."

Joo-Won looked at him in curiosity as he chose to stay silent instead of continuing what he was saying. "Know what?"

"I need to know if you will leave me." Hwan looked at his shocked eyes and quickly turned his eyes to the mattress to avoid eye contact. "So that I can be ready."

Joo-Won held his hand and stayed silent in shock.

'How can he think I would leave him? Did I somehow make him feel like that? Is my affection not enough? Was I giving this impression the whole time? Gosh... How could I do something like this?!'

When Joo-Won came back to his senses thanks to Hwan clearing his throat, he instantly held his shoulders. "What?" He quickly held his hands back and looked into his eyes. The numbness in his eyes was now replaced with fear and was starting to redden and tear up again. "I would never do that! Why did you even think such a thing?"

Hwan sniffed. "I don't know... It will be extremely hard and the recovery might take months, or maybe years! I can't ask you to be by my side in the meanwhile, that would be too selfish. And... and I will look weird, people might even pick on you for being beside me." His voice was cracking when he was talking, which absolutely broke Joo-Won's heart and shattered it to pieces. "I don't want you to go through a hard time because of me, and I don't want to be a burden to you and prevent you from living your life." He looked up and sniffed, still trying not to cry.

Joo-Won held his cheeks and made Hwan look at him, a tear dropping to his thumb as he did. "So what? I know it will be hard, I knew it right from the beginning. Both of us have obstacles and fears we need to overcome. It's not selfish to want someone beside you, and I am actually so happy that you are thinking about me." Joo-Won smiled and wiped away Hwan's tears with his thumb. "But you are wrong about something. You will never, and I mean never, be a burden to me. If I learned something from these past couple of months passed beside you, that is that you mean the world to me. I love you Hwan, and I care about you so much." Joo-Won held one of his hands and planted a small kiss on top of it, which made Hwan chuckle lightly between his sniffs. "Please don't think stuff like that."

Hwan sniffed one last time and opened his arms to hug him. Joo-Won hugged him close as Hwan rested his forehead on his shoulder and cried. Joo-Won gently caressed his back and put his cheek on top of his head. "Shh, it's okay..."

After minutes passed like that and Hwan finally calmed down a little, he slowly backed his head, then he stopped when their noses accidentally touched. His eyes first met with Joo-Won's eyes. Hwan was also as surprised as he was. Then, his eyes slowly moved down to his lips, which made Joo-Won hold his breath. But then, he flashed one of his 'one-second-smile' and slowly backed away.

"Wait." Joo-Won quickly held his hand and pulled him towards himself, his assured eyes meeting with Hwan's surprised ones. He blinked a few times, then opened his mouth to say something, but Joo-Won cut him. "Don't back away from me."

Hwan slowly closed his mouth and let it form a small smile again, then he brushed his nose against Joo-Won's. He chuckled at what he did but didn't stop him. Then, Joo-Won intertwined their fingers while Hwan stopped and leaned his forehead to his. He giggled and backed away his forehead.

Then finally, it happened. Hwan leaned in for a kiss that melted his heart. It was not their first kiss, but something about it was way more special than the previous ones.

Was Joo-Won in heaven? Maybe.

Joo-Won lifted his other hand and placed it on his cheek, caressing him with his thumb while he deepened the kiss. A small moan escaped Joo-Won's lips, which made him quickly back away in embarrassment. Hwan looked at him, first surprised, then he laughed. Joo-Won closed his face with his hand and hid his smile.

After calming down, Hwan slowly took his hand away from his face and slightly lifted Joo-Won's head to make him look at him. Joo-Won quickly forgot how embarrassed he was literally a second ago when he saw Hwan's warm smile. He smiled back at him and put his hand back on Hwan's cheek, pulling him for another heart-warming kiss.