Thorin, Fili, and Kili were throwing a red gem to one another in the room of gold, like a football.

"You can throw super far, uncle!" Fili called from across the room, hurling the gem to Kili.

"I've had time to build up some majestic muscles," Thorin replied.

Just then, Dwalin and Balin walked in, and behind them was a random elf.

"What's an elf doing in my halls?!?" Thorin demanded, completely ignoring the red gem, which smashed into his chest without him even noticing.

"I bring a message from King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm," the elf said. "He would like to invite you to a party in Mirkwood. He has also set up a, erm...playdate between his son and your nephew. He hopes to see you there...it will be fabulous."

Thorin raised his eyebrows a whole foot. "Well, tell Thranduil we will consider it," he said.

The elf bowed and walked out. Thorin rolled his eyes.

"Elves always have to act so perfect, don't they??" he asked no one in particular.

"Maybe they're not trying, and it comes naturally!" Kili suggested, walking over. Then he added, "Can we go?"

Thorin sighed with an irritated look on his face. "If you're so eager to..."

"Yay! Thanks, uncle," said Kili. Fili looked at him suspiciously.

"What?" Kili asked.

"You just want to go so you can see Tauriel, don't you?"  Fili asked smartly.

"Who's Tauriel?" Kili asked with a nervous chuckle.

Fili rolled his eyes and walked away. Then he said, "It seems like people hold parties a lot."

"Yes, it does. I'm actually considering holding a party myself," Thorin said.

  A few minutes later, they had all hit the road to Mirkwood. They decided to bring the entire Company this time, maybe to wreck the party.

"I can't wait to see the food!" Bombur said.

The Company rolled their eyes like a wave. Thorin lead them into Mirkwood and soon came to the doors of Thranduil's kingdom. Music could be heard a few stories up.

"Wow, it sounds like quite a party up there," Kili observed.

"That's because it is quite the party," an elf guard said. "You're welcome to head inside."

So they tramped up a rail-less stone path that hung over a million-foot drop into water, and soon walked into a room where many elves were partying. Thranduil was sitting on a throne with huge elk antlers sticking out the sides.

"Dwarves! You came. That's...nice. Don't wreck my fabulous party," Thranduil said.

Thorin grumbled and had a dark, shadowy look on his face. "Whatever," he replied.

Kili walked over to the drink table and spooned himself some red liquid out of a punch bowl. He noticed Tauriel sipping some of the same liquid right next to him.

"Hey, Tauriel! Is this wine?" Kili asked.

"No, it's punch," she answered. "Why do you think it's in a punch bowl?"

"Oh, oops," Kili said with a laugh and downed his punch.

Just then, Legolas walked into the party looking all epic and stuff.

"Hey, Tauriel! Dad," he said, giving Thranduil a death glare.

Just then, Bard walked into the party wearing a particularly fancy coat.

"Hey, Thorin! What's up? Cool party here," Bard said, putting on some dark sunglasses.

"Sure," Thorin replied, sitting in a chair and observing the party quietly.

"Hey, Bard! You have to see my archery skills!" Kili yelled, walking up.

"Yes, my father actually arranged for us to do the same thing," Legolas said to Kili, also walking up.

"Great. Let's go!" Kili said, and pulled Bard and Legolas out of the window. They fell 5,000 feet and landed on a balcony with an excellent view of a tapestry with a picture of dead Azog on it.

"Why would you have a tapestry with a picture of dead Azog?" Kili asked.

"We make tapestries with historic pictures on them," Legolas replied.

"I have an idea. Whoever can shoot Azog in the head blindfolded is the best archer," Bard said.

"It's on!" Legolas said.

"You're going down!" Kili insisted.

"If I can shoot a tiny spot on a huge dragon, I can definitely do this!" Bard added, and pulled a bow that was practically the same size as he was out of his coat.

Kili blindfolded himself with his own hair. "Here we go," he said, and drew his bow, which he suddenly had. He fired at the Azog tapestry.

"Ooooh," said Legolas and Bard.

Kili un-blindfolded himself and saw that he had hit Azog in the eye.

"Ha!" he said.

Legolas blindfolded himself with HIS hair as well, and quickly shot Azog in the nose.

"Ha!" he said.

With a cheatingly knowing smirk, Bard tried to blindfold himself. "AARGH, my hair is too short!!" he yelled.

"I'll take care of it," said Legolas, and ripped some of Bard's coat off to blindfold him with.

"AARGH! YOU CRUEL ELFLING!! HOW COULD YOU?!?! THIS IS MY WONDERFUL NEW COAT!!" Bard exploded. He pulled out his bow and shot the Azog tapestry square in the forehead. But before he could triumph, Legolas exploded.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!" he yelled, and dove at Bard. Soon they were brawling on the floor while Kili stood back and watched.

"Wow," he commented.

Just then, Tauriel walked down onto the balcony.

"What are they doing?!" she asked in shock. "Why are there three arrows in our Azog tapestry?!?"

"Uhm, a reason," Kili answered. Then, while Legolas was distracted, he said, "Tauriel, do you--"

"WHAT'S GOING ON??!!?!" hollered a deep, majestic voice. (Yep, you know what's coming.)

Legolas and Bard stopped brawling. Tauriel turned around to see Thorin sternly looking at her.

"Why is Bard brawling with that elfling?? Why are you conversing with this elf?? And WHY did you sneak away without telling me??" Thorin demanded.

Legolas turned an angry red for half a second, for two different reasons. (Try to guess them; if not, ask me in a comment.)

"A reason, a reason, and a reason," Kili answered hastily.

"Well, that sounds reasonable," Tauriel observed.

Thorin sighed. "I assume your playdate went well?"

"Rather," Legolas replied in a cheery manner.

"Yes. Since Kili hit Azog's eye and Legolas hit Azog's nose, I'd say I'm the winner," Bard said.

"Yeah, but you hit him in the FOREhead, not the head," Kili argued.

"Technically, the head includes the eyes nose, mouth, ears, and other things too," Legolas said.

"Well, what about where your hair grows? That ought to be your head," Bard replied.

"No, that's your scalp," Kili said, "And Azog doesn't have hair."

"WHO CARES?! Bard is the winner," Thorin declared. "Sorry, Kili."

Kili grumbled and looked at Bard meanly.

"Kili! Come on up and do some break dancing with me and Elrond!" Fili called from a nearby staircase.

"Ooookay..." Kili answered, and cast one glance at Tauriel before walking past Thorin, who had his arms crossed, and going back up to the party.

"What's your deal with Kili?" Thorin immediately asked her.

"Yes, what?" Legolas asked.

Bard looked from side to side awkwardly, and then shuffled back up to the party.

"I don't have any deals," she replied.

"Hmph. We'll see about that," Thorin darkly said, and then turned to majestically head back up the stairs.

"Yes, we will," Legolas added, and turned to follow Thorin.

"Quit mooching off my majestic lines!" Thorin yelled.

Tauriel shook her head and followed them. It was getting late, and people were starting to drop dead on the floor (asleep).

Fili and Kili were break dancing on a floor that was speckled with moonlight. Elrond had tired himself out and was sleeping on top of Saruman.

"Why did you invite them?" Thorin asked, sipping a majestic goblet.

"I don't know," Thranduil answered, looking at himself in a mirror.

"I've been thinking about holding a party in Erebor," Thorin said. "Although it may be a hundred years before I'm ready to invite you."

"A hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an elf," Thranduil answered. "I'm patient. I can wait."

"Grrr, you're so annoying," Thorin replied.

"And you're so greedy," Thranduil returned.

"Not anymore!" Thorin yelled angrily. "Why do you think I donated money to Lake-town? Why do you think I gave you that gem?"

"Well, there is that," Thranduil replied.

From a distance, it looked as if the two kings were getting along splendidly. Fili and Kili walked up.

"Hey uncle, I'm kind of tired. I hate to rip you away from your friendly conversation, but can we go home?" Kili asked.

"Sure, Kili. I'll wrap up. Just collect the other dwarves, okay?" Thorin answered.

Kili grabbed a wheelbarrow and piled up all the sleeping dwarves. "Got them!" he yelled.

"Let's go!" shouted Fili. They pushed the wheelbarrow out of Mirkwood, but accidentally sent it flying into the nearby river.

"Oops. I guess we should go get that," Kili said.

"Yeah, probably," Fili replied.