Warning: this chapter will contain suicidal thoughts and attempts. If you're not a fan please skip that part and I'll let you know when it's stopped.

Drew

It was late at night and I couldn't sleep, Stella was asleep in her bed and I was out on the balcony... thinking about her. She liked my post earlier and I followed her and been looking at her page.

I confess I might like her. Ever since I came to the ice cream shop and calmed her down. There was something about her that is so intriguing. Her smile.. her laugh... her eyes... everything...

She just posted a video of her wearing a cowboy hat and wore a cowgirl outfit. Country music can be heard as she taken a deep breath.

"I make my living off the morning news. Just give me something, something I can use." She sang.
"People love it when you lose. They love dirty laundry." She continued as she got up, dancing.

"Well I could've been an actress but I wound up here." She continued.
"I just have to look good. I don't have to be clear. Come and whisper in my ear, "Give us dirty laundry." She stopped before the camera fades.
"Dropping something in my Linktree tomorrow and have a Q&A with someone special I want you to meet."

My blood boiled... am I jealous? I quickly pulled up DM.

Hey...

I sent.

Yo.

She responded.

I saw your recent...

Yeah uh....

She responded. But then she didn't respond as I check and she posted something. It had her wearing glasses and had her hair as if she looked like a nerd.

"Oh well... karma's a bitch." She lipped to the words as she taken off the outfit she had on and thrown it in the air. And she instantly looked like herself, smiling and looking amazing... and had some effects to the video that fit the song that was playing.

I went back to the DM.

"Look... I don't want to be forward but.."

"Sorry. I can't really talk. I have to get back to whatever I'll reveal tomorrow."

Evelyn

I KNEW what he was going to ask... I had to make an excuse that I had to go record while Will's is auditioning for other roles.

"Oh, Jesus Christ," I muttered as I was at Will hotel room.

"What's up?" He asked as he was putting something on.

"Well... you already know about me and Drew Lynch right?"

"Yeah, why? What's up?"

I've exactly didn't tell him about how I met him I've let that out... Will is like a brother to me and he knew what happened to me and Adam so if I told him about me and Drew - He would get pissed and defensive.

"PLEASE don't get mad." I paused as he sighed.

"What did that bastard do?"

"Nothing let me explain," I said calmly as I told him the story.

Once I told him, it all made sense to him.

"So you're saying he likes you?"

"Yeah.. and I don't know-"

"Go for it."

"Huh?"

"You said you haven't dated anyone since middle school I say go for it."

"I don't know... Will... I can't the movie..."

"I haven't even found any actor for Jack you got time." He said as I felt pressured.

"Sorry..." He said as I left and went to his bedroom.

Will

Damn it, I shouldn't be hard on her... I saw she left her phone when she left and practically knew her password and saw she messaged him.

Hey, dude. This is Will.

Oh, are you her boyfriend?

Wth? No. Evelyn is like a little sister to me.

Uhm.. okay sorry dude.

It's okay... Look, she kinda likes you; But, she's such a pussy to show it. So I'll help you.

What does she like?

Roses and if there's not any, Daises and Sweet Peas are her favorites. You're a comedian right?

Yeah?

Maybe say some cheesy pickup line or something? Idk I've just reunited her all I know her favorite flowers and all her favorite things from middle school.

"Ahem." She said as she stood there and had her hand out.

"How long you been standing there?"

"Long enough to realize you're talking with him."

"How did you--"

She held up another phone, assuming a backup phone for acting purposes.

"I'm sorry... Eva." I apologized as she sighed.

"Look, I know you're helping me right now... my feelings are out of place right now." She explained.

"I'm assuming you want time to think..."

"Yes."

I sighed as I put on a random movie.

Evelyn

Ever since what happened earlier, I had thought about Drew..s and the movie. I told Autumn why I didn't show up and Genesis because of the movie.

I left out the part about Drew since I know it's a touchy subject for me right now. I mean... I like him... but at the same time. I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

Flashback

I was waiting for my boyfriend Adam on the field after his football practice ended...

Two minutes went by and I decided to check up on him.. only to hear, "Dude have you heard?"

"What's up?"

"Adam is only dating that ugly nerd Evelyn just because he felt sorry for her ass." One of the jocks said. I had hide under the bleachers, listening.

"Dude, like she so stupid to think our boy is only playing her feelings." The second one responded... I felt like my heart is shattering. I can't believe it.. tricked..?

"And that he's dating the hottest cheerleader in this school!"

The two laughed while I just ran off crying...

~timeskip to the next day~

Ever since what I heard about Adam... I became distant to Khloe and Will... and practically everyone... I sat away from it all, while others made murmurs about the rumors about me and Adam.

"Miss Jackson?" The teacher said as I snapped into reality.

"I'm sorry... can you repeat the question...?" I sadly responded as others chuckled at me. Depression kicked in me even more. I couldn't face it.

I had to excuse myself to the bathroom... I've been bullied since sixth grade... I kept thinking it would end for seventh and eight... boy, I was wrong...

Only it progressed and made my depression worse and worse... And I only had no other option... I felt like I don't belong here...

"Eve?" Khloe's voice echoed as I had wrapped my hoodie around the coat hanger and had my arms tucked in and my legs up.

"Eve I know you're in here."

"She isn't in here it's only me," A girl's voice said as in the stall next to me.

"Well... Maya, if you see Evelyn please let me know... she hasn't been herself."

"Ok." She said as Khloe left and I got out.

"Bullied and fooled again?"

I only sighed.

"Depression and bullies suck...I know how you feel about it..."

"Maya.. can you please keep this a secret?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"On February nineteenth, 2004... I'll be leaving this world..." I lowly spoke before leaving.

Flashback ends

On 4/19/04 at 11 pm........ I attempted suicide. I remember it clearly...

Flashback again

After I basically waited for my (adoptive) dad to go to work as a bartender, and my mom was working on her songs... I snuck out.

I went up to town, and thought of so many possibilities of an instant death when I took the bus there... but my mind was already set: to jump off the building...

I lied... I lied my way into the business complex my uncle works at.. saying I had a bag of dinner I made for him. And they all know me as his niece who would pop in to say hi every few weeks or to drop off my leftovers or cooking for him.

Instead, I've taken the different route... I knew the roof is off limits late at night but some guards had gone home at this time.

Once I heard the ding, couple employees saw me but I kept silent and had my hoodie on. I hid the ID card I purposely brought to get in here.

They didn't seem to mind as if I wasn't there, more and more came in... and I became impatient.

Damn, should've taken the stairs. I thought to myself as some waved to me, some smiled and more people recognized me.

The elevator took longer and everyone kept going and going to the first floor. So, I've abandoned it and taken the stairs instead.

The city ambiance roared when I opened and closed the door.

"This is it..." I muttered as I walked slowly towards the edge. I climbed up, and looked down to see the cars go by, some people on their phones talking.. and the city lights filled the midnight colors.. it was.. a peaceful way to die. I took the ID off me and head towards the edge.

I was about to put my foot out ready to kiss my death, until I heard a voice in my head screaming,
"DON'T DO IT!"

And I felt as if someone was pulling me back just trying to move and jump..

The voices continued and at first, it sounded like a woman screaming, then the second time it got a bigger crowd, and it suddenly became a wakeup call for me.

"What am I doing?" I asked myself, as I sat down.

People began to notice, began to freak.. called the police, ambulance, the business... Sirens roared as I sat there, with tired eyes and my mind slightly confused and half of me wanted to still jump..

Only I sat there, mindless while others took me off.

Flashback ends

I know what you're thinking... Maya got help for hers... I got help for mine... I missed out the majority of my final year. Going to therapy, being homeschooled.

As for the company? I've kinda got temporarily banned... ish. The boss was rough on me... but understand once I came to explain my actions and told me how his daughter attempted suicide... He gave me a warning and sent me to the therapist that his daughter seen.

The therapy helped.. and I haven't had my depression... once they saw I was better.. and back to a normal state. I started high school...

And now.. this is why I'm afraid of getting into a relationship. I'm afraid of getting hurt again.. and I don't want to --

"Eve," Will said, as he saw I had been zoning out of the movie.

"Sorry.."

"Well.. go home and take some time to think... I can tell you're lost and thinking about this.." Will said as I nod.

"Just text me info if you found the guy to play Jack."

"I will." He said before hugging me and I left.