Chapter One | Its not Personal

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Slowly Quinn began to feel the bed beneath her again, she began to hear the small beeping from the monitor she had been hooked back up to. Her entire body throbbed, but she felt much better than she had. When everything first happened, she hadn't been able to move at all because of the pain. But now she could move, at least she could move slowly. But she knew she could force herself to move faster, that entire ordeal though was a complete blur. She could remember waking up, looking around the room, and then getting out up bed and picking up a syringe of morphling. She could remember attacking the nurse...Quinn knew she hadn't exactly been very...aware of things around her, but she could have sworn that it had been someone in the Capitol. Those hovercrafts had been from the Capitol. However a few hours after the ordeal, when she woke up after getting knocked out again by morphling, Otto had been there waiting for her to wake up.

"You gave Amelia quite a scare," he chuckled. Finally giving the nurse a name. "She needed the rest though," he sighed.

Quinn sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. "But she's okay?"

He nodded, "If Orion hadn't already broken the orders he had been given, she probably wouldn't be." he said honestly.

"Orion?" Quinn echoed, "He's here? He's okay? Is he okay? Where is he-"

"He's fine, he got discharged...maybe an hour ago." he told her. "You're lucky, Quinn." he stated after a moment of silence between the two of them. He stood up and pulled his chair up from the foot of her bed, closer to her. "You could of..." he sighed, trying to gather his thoughts again. Looking for the right words. "You could have died if Havensbee didn't tell them to set off a cannon for you."

"I should have died, then this would all just be over." she scowled, "I'm sick of feeling like I could die at any moment, you guys should have just let me die in the arena like I was supposed to."

"Quinn," he said leaning towards her, "Of all the people involved, you are the most deserving to see the end of this."

"The end of this? That could mean anything, Otto." she retorted.

He sighed, and clearly decided that it was no use to try to convince her otherwise because he completely changed the subject. "You know, Quinn," he sighed, "You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself." he stated honestly.

Quinn pressed her eyebrows together tightly, "Excuse me?" she asked sharply, "Forgive me for being a little pissed off that I've almost died on multiple occasions in the past few years. Forgive me for just wanting it to be over because people keep dying because I did something stupid to make Snow hate me." she said bitterly.

"Snow doesn't just hate you," he sighed, "He's scared of you, Quinn."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"He is." he stated, "And now with Katniss Everdeen here too, he knows that people will follow Katniss if you tell them to. You are the last person that should have started a rebellion, an orphan from Four with no training at all." he explained.

"I don't want to tell anyone to do anything!" Quinn exclaimed, "I don't want more people to die, Otto! Nobody else should have to die over something like this! There's no point in it! Snow isn't going to stop until he's dead!"

Otto frowned, clearly giving up on arguing anything. So he reached up and gave Quinn's hand a bit of a squeeze before standing up and putting his chair away. "Everyone here, Quinn. They believe that the old Quinn is still there. The same one who just wants to end the games for the sake of everyone else."

"Yeah, what's your point." Quinn scowled.

He shrugged a bit, "I'm just not sure about that," he sighed, "Check yourself, Quinn. This rebellion isn't about some personal hatred Snow has for you. It's a hatred towards the idea of ending the games and him not being the leader. And that's what you stand for to a lot of people." he explained, "Not just rebelling against Snow, but ending the games and not playing by the Capitol's rules."

"I'll be sure to check myself after I'm not hooked up to all this shit," she replied sarcastically as he began to walk out of her room. "I shouldn't even be here." she muttered to herself as he shut the door behind him.

Quinn was snapped out of her memory by the sound of the sliding door closing. Her eye's flickered to Amelia's face. In her arms she had the familiar grey civilian clothes. Quinn had been in the hospital ward for two days since she woke up, and she hadn't been on morphling since she had attacked Amelia.

"How are you doing today, Quinn?" she asked as she set down the clothes, and began to unhook Quinn from the remaining things that she was attached to.

Quinn shrugged a bit, "I feel a lot better." she said honestly as she rubbed her elbows because of where the I.V.'s had been.

She smiled a bit, "Good," she sighed, "I'll step out so you can get dressed," she stated, "Then someone will be here to walk you to the cafeteria for lunch."

Quinn nodded, and then with that Amelia stepped out of the room and gave Quinn some privacy to change. Quinn stood up, letting out a long huff of air as she felt a stiff pain go through her entire body. She slowly began to get used to moving around more, and then finally changed into the plain grey clothes. She tucked in the shirt, and ran her fingers through her hair a few times as she slowly made her way to the door. She stepped out, and Amelia smiled a bit and held out a arm. She put it around Quinn's shoulders and the two of them made their way towards the entrance to the hospital ward to wait for whoever would be making sure she got to the cafeteria alright.

"Is everyone else out too?" she asked messing with the grey hem on the sleeve of the shirt.

She shook her head, "Beetee was discharged yesterday, Katniss will be let out tomorrow, and Finnick still has a few more days."

"Is he okay?" Quinn asked.

She nodded, "He will be," she sighed, "He just got bad news when he first got here. He doesn't want to leave yet."

Quinn nodded a bit but didn't say anything else about it. The two of them stood waiting in the entryway, not long before Orion walked towards them. Quinn hadn't been expecting it to be Orion, she had been expecting someone she didn't know, or at least not someone who had been in the arena.

"Then someone will come find you during lunch to show you to your new compartment." Amelia added as she began to turn to leave her with Orion.

Quinn nodded, "Thanks."

She then turned and face Orion who was waiting patiently for her to go with him. The two of them turned and began walking away from the hospital ward. They didn't even say a word to each other until they got to the elevator.

"Are you alright?" Orion was the one to break the silence. "The other day..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Quinn replied quickly. She didn't want to talk about what she had said, she didn't want to even think about the fact that Orion had over heard it all.

Orion sighed, and then changed the subject. "I can't wait for you to meet Arcturus," he sighed.

Quinn raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

"My friend," he stated, "Havensbee got him on the ship that got you here." he explained simply.

The two of them made their way to the cafeteria, and then joined the line of people waiting to get their meat. Quinn held out the tray and watched at they put the bland looking food on the tray. All of the food was rationed, but Quinn and the others got a bit extra after being in the arena. Once they had the food, Quinn followed closely behind Orion toward seats that had Three people already sitting there-- Quinten, Dylan, and a boy that had longer black hair, and tattoos similar to Orion. Orion sat down next to him, and Quinn took the end seat.

"Quinn, this is Arcturus." Orion said, introducing her to the boy next to him.

"Nice to meet you." she said simply, but then didn't say another word and turned her attention back to the bland food on her tray.

She could barely focus on the food in front of her. Her mind kept bouncing back to what Otto had told her so blatantly. The thought that this whole rebellion wasn't just a way for Snow to drive her insane, it really hadn't crossed her mind. It was almost selfish. She hadn't considered, really, the fact that people like her because she had embodied everything the rebellion was about-- and that was why Snow had wanted her dead, it would have been like killing the rebellion itself. But now, there was Katniss-- the Mockingjay. So the entire time that she was in the cafeteria, her mind was consumed by that thought and the thought that she wasn't really needed now that they had Katniss.

Suddenly the television screen's flipped on, and the sound of the national anthem began to play. Quinn looked up at the screen, just to see Caesar Flickerman settling in his seat.

"Good afternoon," he smiled, "Today, we are with Agathias Balios." he smiled and motioned to a seat across from him.

Quinn straightened up in her seat, his brown hair was neat and his eyes were bright too. He looked better than he did before the Quell. "Great to be here," he smiled.

"Now, Agathias, you were allies with Quinn Maverick." Caesar began, and he nodded. "What was going through your head, when she died?"

Quinn pressed her eyebrows together. She would have to get used to that, the fact that they all thought she was dead

He sighed, "I was...shocked, to say the least." he said, glancing down as his folded hands in his lap, "I had finally begun to...make amends for what happened in my games, and just like that," he shrugged a bit, "She was gone."

"Ms. Maverick,"

Quinn turned and looked up quickly, only to see Boggs. Then her eyes flickered around the rest of the cafeteria, only to see that very few people were paying attention to what was on the screen.

"President Coin would like to see you in command before you take the rest of the day to settle in."

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