"I visited the cold springs." Lan Zhan replies, and looking away, adds, "Brother, we...I have imposed on you enough."

"What do you mean?" XiChen enquires, leading the latter inside their mother's chamber. It's empty, but like everything else in cloud reassess, it is in pristine condition. 

 The brothers enter the room; XiChen immediately goes to the wardrobe and returns with pale blue robes; handing it over to the younger, he goes to the vanity section and pulls out a blue ribbon and jade encrusted headpiece.

When he returns, he finds that Lan Zhan has changed into the robes he had handed him and is waiting for him on their mother's bed, looking at the older, questioningly.

Reading his brother's eyes, Lan XiChen smiles, "I will explain later why I have your things stocked here." 

Lan Zhan nods.

"Do you miss her?" The older Jade asks, taking a seat behind his brother.

"I used to. Now, not so much."

"Why did you visit the cold springs at this time of night, Wangji?"

"...."

"It's okay. Don't answer that if you don't want to." XiChen continues when Lan Zhan seems reluctant; he starts running the comb through the younger's thick mane.

As the silence stretches, XiChen's mind goes back to what he had seen in the in-between realm, "Wangji, that night, " He stops and contemplates on how to proceed; he turns Wangji around. With damp hair stuck to the sides of his face, the latter reminds XiChen of the time when they were just kids, a time without responsibilities and complications. He smiles and tucks loose strands of hair behind Lan Zhan's ears, and unexpectedly kisses his forehead. 

 Lan Zhan gasps; his body stiffens. It's the first time his brother has shown him physical affection. The reaction doesn't go unnoticed.

XiChen leans away and takes his brother's hand in his, "Wangji, that night when we came to visit mother-"

"The last time we saw her." Lan Zhan offers, immediately understanding which night XiChen was referring to, "What about it?"

"What did you want to show her? What did she tell you? Did she mention me?" XiChen's voice trembles as if afraid of the answers he might receive.

"I had composed a song. I wanted her to listen to it." The light bearer smiles, "She told me to always listen to you. That you love me the most in this world."

"Mn." XiChen feels relieved, "Did she like it, the song?"

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods, a shy smile graces his features, "She said that it was beautiful but that it felt incomplete."

"Wangji, is it complete now?"

"Mn." The latter's smile widens and touches his eyes, "It is."

"Did Master Wei like it?" XiChen asks, startling Lan Zhan; his brows knit, "How did..."

"Wangji, there is only one person who can make you smile like that." XiChen replies; heat rises to Lan Zhan's cheeks, "Brother, I... I wanted- Wei Ying and myself- " The light bearer tries to voice his thoughts but finds it impossible to broach the topic.

"Wangji, I have spoken to our uncle about you and Master Wei. Elder Bao had already filled him on certain things. He knows that you and master Wei are cultivation partners."

"Was he upset?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Wangji, I am sorry for everything... "

"Brother, don't... "

"Wangji, it has come to my notice that I didn't truly understand love, not until recently. And I am ashamed that it took me so much time to understand the depth of your feelings towards Master Wei." The older lowers his eyes, "But I know that I love you, always have. I may not have shown it by way of words or actions, but in my heart, you are the most precious person. You are the gift that mother left for me. Wangji, I am your elder brother, but it was you who set examples of how to be a good man; how to stand up for someone who you trusted, loved."

"Brother, that's not true... " Wangji tries to interject; he feels unworthy of these words and praises. After all, he had made mistakes, uncountable mistakes; mistakes that he had until very recently thought were unforgivable.

"Wangji, tomorrow morning, this jingshin will be ready. I want Master Wei and you to move in here. As you noticed earlier, I have already begun the preparations for the same." Lan XiChen points at the wardrobe before adding, "This place is secluded, and everyone already knows not to step in this pavilion as it is. Moreover, once Master Wei's internal injuries heal, you will have to bring him to the springs regularly till he regains his strength."

"Mn." Lan Zhan nods, "I will inform him."

"Turn." XiChen instructs and resumes combing his brother's damp hair, "Wangji, I know I haven't been there for you like I should have, but that's going to change now. I understand love now. And it has helped me understand your heart. You have suffered enough. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore." XiChen finishes and places the jade headpiece on his brother's head and once again turns him.

"Wangji... "XiChen's eyes swim with unshed tears as he takes in his brother's tear-stained cheeks, "What's wrong?" He asks, pulling the younger in a tight embrace, "Little one, tell me what's bothering you?"

"Brother," Wangji buries his face in his brother's neck and speaks between sobs, "Do...you...think I deserve to be loved?"

"Wangji! What are you talking about?"

"Mother died because of me. Wei Ying died because I did not stand by him." XiChen's collar dampens; slight tremors rock Lan Zhan's usually steady frame. 

 "Wangji! It was not your fault. None of it was your fault. Mother died because she did not love herself enough to go on. But she loved us. She loved you. She would have left the mortal realm long ago if it wasn't for you. Wangji, she loved you, master Wei loves you, and I have always loved you."

Lan XiChen pulls away, and wiping the latter's face, cups it, "Wangji, you deserve love. Do you understand? You deserve to be loved. And I am sorry I did not tell you this sooner." With that, XiChen once again pulls his brother close and holds him; in the secluded jingshin, a room where they shared their mother's memories, the two men hold each other and break the barriers they had built around their hearts.

Later in the night, Lan Zhan enters XiChen jingshin and finds Jiang Cheng asleep - on the extra bed that had been moved into his brother's room - next to Wei Ying.

Thinking it better not to disturb the sleeping men, Lan Zhan places a kiss on his husband's forehead and leaves the chamber, closing the door behind him.

He sits in the now-empty physician's chamber and takes out a parchment paper.

A Yuan,

How are things at Lotus Cove? I don't know if you are aware, but while rescuing Zewu Jun, Meng Yao died, and Wei Ying suffered almost fatal injuries. Don't worry, Wei Ying is out of danger now, but his body is weak. For the next two weeks, we will not be able to leave cloud recesses. I am not sure what Jiang Cheng's plans are. But I expect that he will want to stay next to Wei Ying at least till he can make sure that he is alright. 

How is Jin Ling? I hope he is more accepting of your help now, Wen Ning too. He will have to return home soon, now that Meng Yao has passed away. 

I hope you are taking care of yourself. I will send news once things have calmed down here. 

Hanguang Jun. 

As soon as Lan Zhan has finished writing, the parchment transforms into a glowing butterfly and flies out.

The next morning, Lan Zhan visits Wei Ying, who is in deep conversation with Jiang Cheng. He places the tray in his hands, next to Wei Ying's bed. 

 "Lan Zhan, where were you?" Wei Ying asks, trying to sound casual, but the light bearer can tell that his husband is worried. "I had to take care of somethings. I met with brother as well." He looks at Jiang Cheng and continues, "Jiang Cheng, thank you for keeping my husband company. But I need... "

Jiang Cheng put his palm out. "I was about to leave anyway. Some things need my attention. Hanguang Jun, can you tell me where I can find Zewu Jun?"

"He is at the mess hall taking reports for the upcoming lantern festival. If you hurry, you might be able to catch him."

Jiang Cheng nods, and bowing to the older man, leaves the room.

"Lan Zhan, " Wei Ying starts in a complaining tone, but doesn't get to finish, for just then, Lan Zhan bends down and kisses him, "Sorry for yesterday." He adds, and without giving Wei Ying a chance to say anything, he picks up the bowl of soup from the tray; filling the spoon to perfection, he brings it to the latter's lips, "Lotus stem, pork rib soup, just the way you like it."

Wei Ying's eyes widen as he stares between the steaming bowl and his husband's smiling face. "When did you..."

"Aunty Yenay sent the recipe from Yunmeng. It arrived early this morning."

"Lan Zhan, did you make it for me?"

"Mn."

Wei Ying's face lights up, and he takes a sip and hums, approving it, "It's perfect! Just like Shijie's." He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, his eyes are brimming with unshed tears, "Lan Zhan, I was very harsh yesterday, wasn't I?"

"No. I needed to hear it. Wei Ying, I am sorry that I doubted our bond, our love. Thinking back, I feel so stupid. You kept telling me that you loved me, but my insecurities blinded me. I thought- " Lan Zhan trails off.

"What did you think?"

"I thought that I did not deserve to be loved. That I was not worth it." Lan Zhan finally confesses, feeding Wei Ying his favorite soup one spoon at a time. Wei Ying knows better than to interrupt.

"When mom left us, I blamed myself. I had heard father say that he knew he had lost her as soon as she had birthed me. It made me believe that she had left us because of me. I never voiced my thoughts to anyone, not even my brother. It pained me immensely, but I never let it out. I just tried to be the best son I could be. I wanted to make her proud so that she would return to us, to father. I tried to make her happy by reciting all the rules and verses to perfection, but never once did the smile touch her eyes."

Lan Zhan strokes the underside of the latter's wrist, "Then, one day, brother and myself accompanied uncle to Yunmeng. While passing through the market, I saw a boy knee-deep in lotus pond; his brows were knit in concentration, his eyes determined, and his lips pursed. There was something about this boy that made me excuse myself and approach him. I observed him for a few minutes but couldn't understand what he was up to, so I asked him what he was doing?"

Wei Ying's brows knit, "You had visited Yunmeng when you were younger?"

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded, "We did not visit Lotus cove, though."

"Oh."

Lan Zhan continues his story, "The boy replied that he was trying to fix the plant, that some naughty boys had uprooted for no reason at all."

Wei Ying's breath hitches, "That was you!? Lan Zhan, that boy who came to help me was you, wasn't it?"

Lan Zhan lowers his eyes, "Mn."

"Why didn't you tell me that it was you sooner? I have always wondered about the boy who had spent his spiritual energy to heal a plant." Wei Ying reminisces and catches the latter's eyes, "Lan Zhan, why did you do it?"

"I wanted to help you." Comes the straightforward yet sincere reply; it hits the Yiling patriarch like a thunderbolt to his heart, "Why? Why did you want to help me, Lan Zhan?"

{Note:- That's it for today's update.

I don't know why, but this is one of my favorite chapters so far. Hope it was to your liking as well.

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Have a nice day.}