Survival Skills

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The gang are in the forest, listening to (Y/n) and Benson as the duo were in charge of the trip. "Here you go, Thomas. Try that." (Y/n) hands him a glass which he drinks. "Amazing. It tastes just like water." He said, and (Y/n) giggles. "That's because it is water, silly." She joked. "100% safe drinking water from the dew I collected this morning. You can last for months with just the knowledge we've shared today." Benson said. "Bravo!" Pops said, and everybody claps. "Is it really pure dew?" Pops asked.

"Sure is. Here, let me show you my system." Benson said. Everybody gets up and leaves except for Mordecai and Rigby, who are busy playing video games. "Can you guys keep it down? All this "pure dew" talk is blowing my fo- oomph! Ugh, I can't believe Benson put (Y/n) in charge of this trip." Rigby said with disappoint. "She's not necessarily in charge, she's just his assistant for today." Mordecai said. "Yeah but still, this whole thing blows." Rigby said. "Why?" Mordecai asked. "Because if she wasn't so busy 'teaching' she could be having fun with us right now." Rigby said.

"It's not that big of a deal, we have fun with her all the time anyway." Mordecai said, and Rigby sighs. "Whatever." Rigby grunts as they play intensely. Mordecai soon wins, causing Rigby to groan. "Haha, OOOOOOHHHHHH! Good game, dude, good game." Mordecai said. "Guys! Can you come here for a second?" (Y/n) asked. "Aw sweet, (Y/n)'s presentation is over." Mordecai said. "Look out face, it's time to shove some burgers in your mouth!" Rigby said. "Yeah, watch out buns, 'cause you're about to get some patties up in you." Mordecai said.

Mordecai and Rigby laugh simultaneously and walk over to (Y/n) and Benson. "Hey guys, thanks a lot for coming to this. I know my wilderness survival presentations aren't how you'd normally choose to spend your time off. " Benson said. "Sure, Benson. No problem." Mordecai said. "And we're totally okay with (Y/n) helping you instead of spending time with us." Rigby said, earning a punch from Mordecai. "Ow!" He glares at him.

"Great. So, if you can just bring over the tortillas I'll get started on the food." Benson said. "No offense, but you don't make burgers with tortillas." Rigby said. "Uh.... Rigby, we're not making burgers this time..." (Y/n) said. "Wait, what?!" Rigby asked her in surprise. "Then what are we having?" He asked. "Quesadillas." Benson said. "Ah, what?! We only came to this thing for the burgers at the end!" Rigby said. "Yeah, why didn't you tell us we were having quesadillas this time?" Mordecai asked. "He did tell you." (Y/n) said. "Over and over! I said we're having quesadillas this time!" Benson shouted.

~Flashbacks~

Mordecai and Rigby are playing video games. "Don't forget, we're havin' quesadillas this time, so, if you can pick up the tortillas I'd really appreciate it." Benson said. "No problem." Mordecai said.

Benson knocks on the duo's bedroom door while Mordecai and Rigby are playing a video game inside. "Hey guys, you're gonna pick up tortillas for the quesadillas, right?" He asked. Rigby wins gold in the game. "Aw, YES!" He said. "Great, thank you." Benson said.

Mordecai and Rigby walk down The House's steps while playing portable video games. Benson then comes from inside the house to speak to them. "Since you guys are headed out anyway, this might be a good time to get those tortillas." Benson said. "What did he say?" Rigby asked. "I think, uh...have a good time?" Mordecai asked.

~present~

"Maybe if you just reminded us one more..." Benson throws his hat in Mordecai's face. "Uh!" He said. "I shouldn't have to remind you at all! You two never listen to me and I'm sick of it!" Benson shouted. "Don't be mad, Benson." Rigby said. "Mad? I got mad the last time you ignored me. This time I'm...I'm...deeply offended! And now, I have six pounds of cheese and not one tortilla! What kind of quesadilla can you make with that, huh?!" Benson turns red.

"WHAT KIND?!" He asked. "You can't make a quesadilla without tortillas; that's just cheese." Skips said. "Thank you, for that input, Skips." (Y/n) growled. "So now, because of Mordecai and Rigby, here we all are, tired, hungry, nothing to eat. And if you two don't get those tortillas right now, YOU'RE FIRED!" Benson shouted. (Y/n) sighs and face palms. "Okay guys, let's go." She said, but Benson grabs her right paw and pulls her back. "Oh no, they're on their own this time!" He shouted.

"Wait, what?" The trio asked. Even (Y/n) was surprised. "But-" she began. "Look, I know I made it your new job to watch those clowns, and you can get back to that after this trip, but this is something I told THEM to do, not YOU. YOU'RE job for today is to help me and that's it." Benson said. (Y/n) looks at her best friends a bit worriedly, but doesn't argue. "Fine... sorry guys." She said. "Aw, man!" Rigby kicks a rock in disappointment. Later at the Grocery store, Mordecai and Rigby stand at the aisle with tortillas. Rigby feels around the tortilla bags.

"Well, which ones are we supposed to get? There's like thirty different kinds here." He said. "How should I know?" Mordecai asked. "Well, can you check?" Mordecai takes a piece of folded paper out from his handbag and opens it. "It's a note from Benson. "Dear Mordecai and Rigby, you're probably standing there like two boneheads trying to figure out which of the thirty different kinds of tortillas to get." Mordecai read. "How does he know?" Rigby takes the note from Mordecai.

"Dude, he typed it. "Since you never listen, I'll remind you that we need an extra large bag of Casa Queso Handmade Style Flour Tortillas. If you come back here with anything else, you're fired. Your boss, Benson." And then there's some clipart of a bomb and it says, "The clock is ticking." Rigby shows it to Mordecai, and they laugh. Mordecai grabs the correct tortillas. "Dear Mordecai and Rigby, go get the exact tortillas I want, or I'm gonna get all mad". Mordecai joked.

They laugh as they leave. Later they're driving the cart on the road. ""Dear Mordecai and Rigby, I know you love burgers, so we're having quesadillas". Mordecaii said. They laugh again. "Yeah." "Dear Mordecai and Rigby, if I don't get something to put this cheese between right now, you're fired!" Rigby said, and they once again laugh. "Dude, we're actually running kinda late on getting these tortillas back to the park." Mordecai said. "Yeah. Maybe we should take that new shortcut." Rigby said. "Good call." Mordecai makes a left turn into the shortcut, straight into the forest.

"And then earlier Benson was all like, "Don't forget to gas up the cart before you get tortillas!" And I was just like, "Cool, dude. Thanks for the....heads.....up?"" The cart suddenly comes to a stop. "I see." Mordecai turns the cart key, but it doesn't start up. "Dude, why didn't you just listen to Benson and gas up the cart?" He asked. "Because he never says anything important?" Rigby asked.

"Except that was important, 'cause now we're stuck in the middle of the woods! Argh!" Mordecai sighs. "Okay, this is gonna be painful, but I think we have to ask (Y/n) to come get us." He grabs the cart's radio. "Guys? Hey? (Y/n)? Are you there?" No response comes, but a fart is suddenly heard. "Sorry." Rigby said. "Rigby!" Mordecai shouted. "I really am sorry, Mordecai! My body just starts talkin' when it's hungry." Rigby said. Mordecai sighs and drops the radio. "Just give me the phone." Rigby reaches under himself, grabs the phone, and hands it to Mordecai.

Mordecai blows on it repeatedly, then checks it. "Awesome. No service. We're gonna have to walk the rest of the way." He said. The duo are walking through the forest, with Mordecai holding the tortillas. They then stop when they see a fork in the road. "I'm pretty sure if we just head towards those trees..." They walk in the path he chose and the two struggle through branches and leaves, getting dirty in the process. They then walk into an open area, with Rigby pulling leaves out of his tail. "Okay. That didn't land us where I thought it would. But if we could just get to the other side of that river..." they carefully walk across a shallow river,

only to stop at a dead end. Next they're walking across the river again in the opposite direction while Rigby growls to himself. "All right, so, I think if we can go down that hill..." he said. The duo step down a steep hill. "Easy...easy..." They both suddenly slip and fall down the hill, yelling. Later it is nighttime, and Mordecai and Rigby are still walking through more woods. "Okay, maybe if we-" Rigby cut him off. "Maybe if we what? You even have any idea where we're going? I've seen that Skips rock four times! I wish (Y/n) was here!

At least she actually knows what she's doing! If Benson would've just let her come with us, we wouldn't be lost right now! Dude, just face it. We're lost!" Rigby snapped angrily. "Look, I'm doing my best, okay?! Sorry for not being as smart as (Y/n)! You're the one that usually gets us into these situations!" Mordecai snapped. Rigby begins to hit him repeatedly with a stick furiously from that comment, until Mordecai grabs it and tosses it away, and the duo growl and glare daggers at each other, but then groan and sigh, before sitting down.

Rigby decides to speak after a long moment of silence. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like (Y/n) was smarter than you." He said, and Mordecai sighs. "It's alright. And I'm sorry for saying these situations are always your fault." He said. "It's still kinda true what I said before though. We can't do anything without (Y/n). We're screwed without her." He said, and Mordecai chuckles a little. "And she'd probably be screwed without us too." He said, and Rigby looks at him puzzled. "What do you mean?" He asked.

"Dude, come on, there's been multiple times that we've saved her, remember? Like from GBF. Junior, those evil wild goose, you get the picture." Mordecai said. "Yeah, but there's been a few times were she's saved us too, you know." Rigby points out. "Really?" Mordecai asked. "Well yeah, man. Like from her evil jinxed self, and that time we got called to court for being too cool. She's always looking out for us, I mean... I know Benson made it her job but..." Rigby trails off. "That doesn't change anything. She's one of us now regardless." Rigby smiles. "Of course she is." Mordecai stands up.

Rigby's stomach then growls, and he suddenly starts eating a tortilla. "What're you doing? You can't eat those, we have to give 'em to Benson!" Mordecai takes the tortilla. "Well, he's not gettin' anything if we die up here!" Rigby protested. "But maybe there's something else we can eat." Mordecai looks around and finds a pile of rocks. "Can we eat...rocks?" He asked. "I saw one show where the guy made a three-course meal out of nothing but tree bark." Rigby said. Mordecai's stomach growls, then they run to a nearby tree and start eating the bark.

"It's not that bad." Mordecai turns to Rigby. "Whoa, dude..." Mordecai's vision has turned everything pixelated. Rigby turns to Mordecai. "Huh?" He stops eating and looks unsure. "That's not right, man." Rigby's vision has turned Mordecai in a burger with a tortilla for buns. "What show did you see that bark thing on?" Mordecai asked. Rigby scratches his chin. "It was on, um... Oh, Crazy Eats." He said. "The one where the guy makes himself insane by eating stuff that's not food? Rigby, they don't even go outside on that show!" Mordecai said.

"But Mordecai, the inside is the outside." The tree disintegrates and Rigby repeats, "The inside is the outside." A stream of hallucinations occur as the two are affected by the tree bark. They then fall onto the ground in the forest, weak. They sit back up, and Mordecai brushes himself off. "Aw, man... What happened?" Rigby asked, holding his head. "I don't know, dude. But we're not gonna survive this, are we?" Mordecai asked. Rigby wraps around himself. "Dude, it's so cold!" He shouted. "We're gonna freeze to death before we can get Benson these tortillas..." Mordecai said shaking. "Now I really wish (Y/n) was here..." Rigby said.

~Flashback~

(Y/n) is is instructing safety tips. "Pay attention, guys. You're gonna need to remember this stuff." Skips said.

~Present~

Rigby gasps. "Mordecai! We need to remember what (Y/n) said in her wilderness presentation!" Rigby shouted. Mordecai places down the tortillas. "Dude, that's it!" He said. "Remember, remember...

~Flashback~

Rigby is playing a video game and struggles as he tries to look up at (Y/n) instructing, and Thomas in a bear costume. "...And that's how you survive a bear attack." Benson said, and Benson shakes his hand. "Thank you, Thomas." He said. Thomas growls at (Y/n) playfully. "Grrr! I'm going to get you, (Y/n)!" He teased playfully, and her friends laughed. "Thomas, go sit down." She said in a playful tone, and Thomas walks away. "Hey, Mordecai and Rigby, I need your eyes up here!" (Y/n) said.

Pops raises his hand. "Oh, (Y/n). What about when it gets chilly?" He asked. "That's a great question, Pops." (Y/n) said. "Now, it may look like I'm just wearing a jacket up here." Benson unzips the green jacket. "But underneath it, I have on a sweatshirt, followed by a long-sleeve thermal, followed by a t-shirt, followed by a tank top. It's called 'layering', and your key to temperature regulation." Benson said. "Are you sure that isn't too much layering though, Benson?" (Y/n) joked, and everyone laughs. "Not at all, (Y/n), when it gets cold, you should have as many on as possible." Benson said.

~end of flashback~

"Layering!" The duo said, then look around. "There's nothin' to make layers with." Mordecai said. "I see some layers." Rigby shows the bag of tortillas. Later the two are layered up with tortillas. Rigby tries to grab more out of the bag, but Mordecai takes it away, making him whine.

"That's enough for now. We need to save the rest for Benson." Wind blows, making Rigby shiver and cross his arms. "We better get a move on."  The two begin to hike through the forest. Using tortillas as snowshoes, Mordecai walks over to a river and scoops up water with another tortilla. Once he drinks it, he spits it out in disgust. Rigby taps his shoulder to grab his attention,

then tries to remember more from the presentation. Recalling on how (Y/n) used dew for drinking water, they mimic her and drink some dew. At a mountain, the duo carefully step downwards. Worrying, Rigby starts to remember what (Y/n) showed on how to climb down mountains, and they copy the method. At night, Mordecai holds a rod of tortillas and strikes it against a tree, making a torch to scare away a bear. Rigby twists his rod of tortillas into a spear, and they chase away the bear.

Back into daytime, they walk through the woods some more as Rigby leaves a tortilla trail. At a river, a bearded Rigby is shown fishing and an equally bearded Mordecai brings in a net full of fish, much to their happiness. They remember how (Y/n) had shown how to catch large amounts of fish with a net, and Rigby nods to Mordecai in approval. Later Rigby is sitting on a rock, he tries to make glasses out of tortillas. Noticing that he just used up the last of the tortillas,

he and Mordecai go back through the woods to pick up the tortilla trail. Mordecai stirs a green liquid with a tortilla bowl and spoon. He spreads the liquid on a giant infection on Rigby's leg. At nighttime, Mordecai warms his hands around a campfire and Rigby leans against a tree near a tent made of tortillas.

It suddenly begins to snow. Switching to a snow-filled area, Rigby is on a tortilla sled being pulled by Mordecai. He writes weakly into a tortilla journal that states, "DAY 37" "End is near. "Tell (Y/n) we love her..." Rigby pants and groans as he closes the journal and rests his eyes. Mordecai groans as he drops the rope and kneels to the ground. "Did we make it? Rigby asked. "No..." Mordecai said. Rigby sighs.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this, Mordecai." Rigby coughs roughly. Mordecai grabs Rigby's face. "No, Rigby. Don't give up. There's gotta be one last thing we can remember from Benson's and (Y/n)'s presentation." He said. "No, bro. This is it. See you on the other side..." He closes his eyes with his hands, but Mordecai opens them again. "Please, just try to remember, Rigby! Do it for (Y/n)."

Mordecai said. Rigby groans as he remembers (Y/n) demonstrating with a phone. "And if all else fails, find a cell phone signal. It may just save your life one day." She said. "We have to find a cell phone signal!" Rigby said, suddenly full of excitement. Mordecai pats around himself. "Okay, okay, let me just-" He pulls a phone from behind him and gasps, as the phone only has one percent of battery life left. "It's almost out of batteries...!" He panics. Rigby busts out of tortilla blanket. "Then, let's go!"

Mordecai starts to run with the phone above his head, trying to catch the signal, while Rigby limps behind him. Mordecai checks the phone, which only has 0.4% battery life remaining. As he puts the phone in the air again, Rigby limps harder. "Mordecai!" Rigby pants. "My leg... " Rigby pants. "I can't!" He shouted. "Yes, you can! This is our last chance, Rigby! Are you gonna die like a little baby or are you gonna help me?" Mordecai asked. "I-I-I'll help you, Mordecai!" Rigby said. Mordecai holds Rigby up high, running, as Rigby holds the phone higher in the air.

"Anything?!" He asked. "Run faster!" They both yell as they run away from the snowy field and into the woods. "Come on, phone--please, please, please!" Rigby gasps as a small shred of signal is found. "A bar, Mordecai! We have a bar!" Rigby asked. "A bar?" Mordecai asked, his eyes watering. "A bar! A bar!" The duo chant, then laugh hysterically. "Ugh, wait, call dude! Call!" Mordecai said. Rigby starts to dial. "Okay! Shh, shh, shh! I'm dialing!" Rigby gasps as the phone makes a tone. "It's ringing!" He said. As the phone calls, a ringtone is heard. Their faces fall as the rest of the gang are standing a few feet in front of them. (Y/n) is holding her phone as it rings,

then slowly brings it to her face as she answers it. "Hello...?" She asked. Mordecai puts Rigby down. "I can't believe it. You guys are still here! After all this time?" He asked. "Everything has changed so much since we've been gone..." Rigby picks up a pine cone. "Is this still called a...pine cone?" He asked, and (Y/n) face palms. "Oh dear god." She said. "What year is it?" Mordecai asked.

"Dude, it's still 2012. It's not like you got sucked into Jumanji." (Y/n) said. "Yeah, you guys have only been gone a couple hours." Thomas said. "We could hear you yelling on the other side of those trees. But every time we had Thomas go check it out, you attacked him." Skips said. "Not to mention I heard that little heart to heart talk you had about (Y/n)." Thomas smirks with his arms crossed, and the duos' faces turn red. "What?" She asked, then glances in their direction. "I don't know what you're talking about." Rigby crosses his arms. Thomas clears his throat.

"Oh (Y/n), we're so lost without you." He teased playfully, and everyone else laughs except for the two. "We can't do anything without you." Thomas said, and the others continue laughing. "Hey, knock it off!" Mordecai said. "We can't even get out out of this forest without (Y/n)! We're nothing without her." Thomas continued dramatically, teasing them playfully and the others except for the duo laugh goodheartedly. The duos' faces were so red at this point.

"Oh god...." Mordecai said. "STOP TALKING!" Rigby shouted, both covered their faces with embarrassment. Benson holds up Rigby's filthy tortilla jacket. "These tortillas are soggy and dirty." He said. Rigby runs up to Benson and grabs his leg. "Oh, Benson, you and (Y/n) saved us!" He shouted. He would've ran to (Y/n) instead, but considering what Thomas just did, he was too embarrassed to hug her right now. Mordecai takes off  the tortilla hat.

"Yeah, guys. We're sorry we never listen." He said. "And you're so smart! How did you know we were gonna forget what tortillas to get?" Rigby asked. Benson pushes Rigby off and (Y/n) giggles. "All right, all right, that's enough! I had a feeling this might happen" Benson turns to the group. "Thomas, (Y/n), can you take the back-up burgers over to the grill, please?" He asked. The duo walk off. "Back-up burgers?" Mordecai and Rigby asked. They raise their arms. "Whooaaaaa!" They said. "Just don't touch any of the food." Benson said.

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