Review#1

Written by helenilsson20
Reviewed by DeeDeeMars
Aka Hayley

Cover and Title:

Let us start with your cover: It is very basic and attractive. The font matches and blends with the image making it aesthetically pleasant. The only problem would be the text placement of the author’s name. You should make it smaller, without the neon effect and place it right at the bottom or top of the cover.

In regards to the title, I absolutely love it. It’s attractive and unique. Though I believe the right way to phrase it would be “Forget me, not.” That is unless you meant the flowers.

Synopsis/Blurb:

The blurb gives the gist of the book perfectly though I feel as if something is missing. Maybe making it a little longer, playing with words to attract the reader more. Also, you are mixing present and past tense too much here. Either you write it in present or you do it in past. Maybe using past because is more attractive and keep only the thoughts in present tense.

Grammar, vocabulary and writing style:

This would be your bigger challenge which I’m positive you will overcome. You have too many grammar and punctuation errors throughout the book. First, you mix past tense and present tense too much which can be a little confusing. Actions are normally written in past and descriptions and voiced thoughts in present in the book. You must decide in which time tense you want the book to be written and the take some time to edit it thoroughly.

For example, you wrote:

“I don’t know… watching the sky” I said. I’m not usually the one to decide what we do so I said anything that crosses my mind.

I should have been like this:

“I don’t know… watching the sky,” I said. I was not usually the one to decide what we did, so I said anything that crossed my mind.

Regarding to your writing style, I love how is simple and easy to follow. You don’t need to use elaborate words to make the story interesting and your vocabulary is very rich.

Plot:

It’s too soon in the book to deeply review a plot, but so far, you have done a good job. I’m sure there will be many plot twists in the future to keep us on our toes, just like you did with the attack and kidnap scene. I was not expecting that.

The story is unique and fun. Though it could turn into a typical cliché further in the book, you manage to make it your own way of original.

The thing is, I still can’t find the connection of the name of the book and blurb with the plot other than the epilogue. Everything should be connected even if it’s just the beginning. Maybe you should consider start leaving hints behind for the reader to put the pieces together.

Character Development:

 I love how you portray the MC. She is a sassy, funny and decided woman who isn’t afraid of standing up for herself and those she cares about. Her voice is strong and clear, something that can be seen through her actions. The secondary characters also have strong and very distinctive voices, differentiating them one from another. Maybe you should describe the MC as well as you did with the other characters. That way the reader can have an idea of how our sassy heroine looks like. 

Overall Impression:

Overall, I love the story. It’s funny and well developed. It has everything to promise the reader an amazing time. Also, there are many amazing editors that can help you with your book here on Wattpad. Maybe you should consider contacting them and help them improve your incredible book even more. 

I hope my review was helpful. Thank you for trusting me. 

DeeDeeMars