MY NAME IS NOT NIAN by __syyh__

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Like the millions before you, I bet my immortality that you have heard of my story. 

The story of a ferocious beast that terrorized people a long, long time ago in Ancient China. The beast that was eventually chased away with the color red and loud firecrackers. The beast that started the long-lived Chinese tradition of setting off firecrackers and wearing red as a symbol of auspiciousness during the Lunar New Year. The beast that was known to everyone as Nian (年).

That was me. And I'm still alive and well today.

It has been eons since the story of me terrorizing civilians took place, but I think it's time to tell you my side of the story. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling this story to sway your construct of what had taken place. I'm just letting you know of the events that transpired from my point of view, so that you could at least make an informed choice before you judge me or my actions.

However, to tell you the full story, I would need to start with the story of my life before I was known as Nian, before I became the beast feared by many.

If you have ever read any stories of Nian, you would've realized that the stories about my origin don't tally with each other. Some say that I came from the mountains; others say that I originated from deep within the ocean. The stories never agree on where I had lived before I became known as the horrifying creature who eats children.

Let me tell you this. Neither of them was true. I didn't live in the mountains, nor did I live in the deep sea. The truth was, I had lived in the heavens, the realm of gods and deities. 

Yes, you read that right. The demonic beast Nian lived in the skies before it descended into the human realm and brought chaos with her.

Now, let me introduce myself again. My name is not Nian. I am Peiyang Niang Niang (培养娘娘).

You might have heard of me, you might not. I think my name is on some Wikipedia list of gods and deities of Ancient China. However, it is but one of the hundreds listed and it doesn't link to any more information. So I wouldn't blame you if you don't know anything about a small-time deity named Peiyang Niang Niang.

Just so you know, there are two ways for someone to become a god or deity. One, you are born out of the sincere prayers of the people and you just appear one day in the form of a fully-grown adult human. I've seen it happen before my eyes. It was bizarre. 

Another more common way of becoming a god or deity is for humans to ascend to the position of gods or deities. These humans were so celebrated in life that they enter the heavenly realm when they passed away. That was how I became a deity myself.

Before that, I was a mere human. Just a speck in the larger scheme of things. That was how I thought of myself. Until I met my son. And then suddenly, I didn't feel like such a small being anymore. Because to him, I was his world. His name was Wei (卫).

"Mam- ma." One-and-a-half-year-old Wei gurgled as he tried to toddle my way with his tubby outstretched arms reaching for me.

I was busy stirring the pot of porridge but wiped my hands on my clothes in a rush and quickened my pace so that I was right in front of him when I crouched down to his level to catch him in my arms. I breathed in his soft baby smell and felt the smooth fabric of his clothes as he laughed into my neck with joy.

"Yes, Wei. Mama's here." With my hands cradling my son's armpits, I put his at arm's length. "And wow, you walk so well now! When did you grow to be so big??"

Even though he still couldn't speak very well, he understood every word and giggled in delight as he wriggled in my hands. I watched him with a surge of overwhelming love. 

I pulled Wei into another hug. "Oh, I love you so much, Wei."

Wei giggled again as he patted his tiny hands on my back. 

I chuckled as I pulled away from the hug and looked at his large doe eyes. "Where did you learn how to pat someone's back like that?"

Wei pointed the tiniest finger at me and mumbled, "Mam- ma."

"Ohh, you learned it from me? Did I pat your back a lot when I hug you?" I could never keep my smile away when I spoke to Wei.

Wei nodded vigorously, so much so that he lost his balance and stumbled in his steps. I caught him before he had the chance to fall and laughed at his antics with only affection in my eyes. 

Then I carried him in my arms as I heard the bubbling in the pot. With my son safely tucked in my arms, I returned my focus to the pot of porridge. 

"Mama is cooking porridge for you." I told Wei as I stirred the pot. "Can you say porridge? Por- ridge."

"Po- po- eeg." Wei tried his best and it was evidenced by the tiny frown that formed between his clear brows.

I smiled and kissed his frown away. "It's alright, my son is the smartest boy! I just know that you'll be able to say the word in no time!"

Wei grinned at me and nodded his trademark vigorous nod again which got me laughing, again.

I gave the porridge one last stir before closing the lid. With Wei in one arm, I squatted down to stoke the burning logs in the stone stove to dim the fire before standing up again.

I turned to Wei. "Should we go to the farm to get some potatoes for the porridge?"

Wei's eyes lit up at the mention of potatoes. This son of mine was absolutely obsessed with potatoes. "Popapo!"

I chuckled and kissed his forehead again. "Yes! Wei's favorite potato!"

With my son in my arms, I went to the small doorway where I had a shawl hanging by the door. It was a well-worn piece of cloth but it worked well for what it was supposed to do, which was to help me carry my son on my back.

I bent forward and shuffled Wei so that he was now lying belly down on my back as I wrapped the shawl around us to strap Wei securely onto my back. Wei waited without any complaints throughout the entire ordeal. Having such a patient child is really my blessing. I smiled at the thought.

"There! We're done! Are you ready to get some potatoes, Wei?" I looked over my shoulder as I asked.

"Eung!" Wei answered an enthusiastic affirmative. I could feel the way his legs flail wildly in excitement and I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I opened the rickety door.

What I referred to Wei as a farm more resembled a small garden. The garden was laid out neatly and had a little bit of everything from vegetables to fruits. The patches of plants were lovingly prepared by my husband before he was summoned to join the war efforts at the border. It had been almost a year since I last saw him and my heart ached a little as I thought of him.

The sound of Wei blowing bubbles behind me broke me out of my reverie. I peered over my shoulder and saw him eyeing the potato patch intently which made my mood better in an instant. At least I still have Wei by my side. And it's just a matter of time before my husband return from war. But before that, I will need to keep my promise to him and make sure that Wei grows up healthily and happily.

"Now, who's ready to dig up some potatoes??" I asked.

Wei raised both of his tiny fists up, stretching as far as his stubby arms could go. "Wei! Wei!"

I broke into a fond laugh.