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"I'm doing my best. I'm doing it as fast as I can," Jin's whiny voice continued.

"You used to be faster, but suddenly you can't?"

"I can't suddenly change my starting pose. Try that today and if it doesn't work..." His words trailed off as they both went silent.

I looked up asTaehyung turned around and sat on the couch. He was starting to cry. The other boys had all been watching, including Hoseok who had been spectating from behind me, his hands nervously in his pocket.

"Guys, seriously." He walked around the couch to Taehyung. "This isn't worth fighting for."

Thank you, Hoseok.

Jimin had finished brushing his teeth and stood. "We have to perform in minutes."

I looked up at the clock in the room. He was right. Fourteen minutes to showtime, and no one was ready. My heart leapt in anxiousness. Guys. Not right now.

Jin looked around the room for a second, then approached Taehyung as well. His voice was softer this time. "Let's go and get ready."

Taehyung was looking down, his face to his lap. Oh shoot. Jin looked around and then moved to the second artist room where staff were waiting to hand the boys their jackets.

"Guys," I stood up again. "It's time to go."

Jungkook, Namjoon, and Yoongi got up and left, but Taehyung stayed in his spot. I went to him. "Taehyung, please, it's time to go. It's okay, let off of it for now. You've done it fine the last few times on the spot you were talking about- and you can talk more later when you two aren't bouncing off nerves. You're not in a state to discuss this when you're minutes away from the concert."

He didn't move. He was acting like a child. "Taehyung let's go!" I grabbed his arm and tugged lightly. "Kim Taehyung, you guys need to get on stage."

Forcefully, he stood, and then walked around me to the other room. I didn't miss the mist in his eyes and the tear that ran down his cheek. Crap.

We all gathered in the coat room. I helped the staff distribute the rest of their stage outfits, and we could all clearly feel the tenseness in the room. It was scary. It affected all of us, even though I knew that wasn't Jin and Taehyung's intentions. It was as if we were all too afraid to look like we were on one of their sides and get stuck in the cross-fire.

When I finally zoned back into the conversation in the coat room, I heard Taehyung again. "I'm talking about the performance, and you're overreacting," he whined to Jin. Hoseok and Jimin were sitting, Namjoon was fiddling with his ear piece, and Jin and Tae were once again facing each other. Their stances showed their accusations and defense.

"Hey," Hoseok tried to butt in.

Jimin tried too "Wait a second-"

"I got irritated when you said that," Taehyung continued, his words spitting like water onto hot coals.

"Hey!" Jimin's voice came off stronger, and then softened. He spoke with maturity and confidence. "I don't think either of you are right."

Namjoon shook his head. "Listen. It's already eight."

"Right, we have to go in now," Jimin agreed.

"We need to go now," Namjoon confirmed. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked his band.

And then once again, silence. I watched Taehyung as his hand crept to his forehead, then raked through his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting out a huff of resignation. I knew he was going to cry again.

"Okay? We got it," Namjoon continued, and the room went silent. The best thing anyone could do was listen to our leader speak. "We can't solve this right now, can we? We're not going to say who was wrong and who was right."

Before a concert, they needed to come together more than anything. He was right. What were they doing?

"Ahni, ahni, ahni it's my bad," Jin said quickly. He put a hand on Taehyung's shoulder. "You were talking about the performance, and I took it as a joke. That was childish. I'm sorry."

Ugh, but I knew that wasn't going to fix it. I knew Jin didn't take it as a joke, he just took the criticism too personally and wouldn't accept it. However, that was a harder thing to admit. Based on Taehyung's face, he was going to play victim now, and he wasn't going to forgive Jin. That was bad news. The boys needed to get on stage now. "I admit it," Jin finished.

"We can talk about this later," Namjoon assured the boys.

"We'll talk about it later," Hoseok agreed.

"We really have no time. We need to talk about it later."

Just then, a staff member came up to me. "Tell the boys it's time to go."

As per usual, I let out my call. "We have to go now!" That was my job, and my word was final.

"Ne," Hoseok said, and he went to open the door to the hallways that would lead them backstage. Almost everyone sighed in frustration as they exited.

I stayed back and was the last to leave after Jin. I patted his back, and he gave me a soft look. The corner of his mouth rose to a half smile.

Staff members touched up the boys' hair and buttoned their jackets as we went.

"Snap out of it," Namjoon called. "It's a concert."

I ran to catch up with him. He was our leader. If I wanted to be on anyone's side, it was his - not that there should have been sides at the moment.

I turned around to face the boys. I was scared to comment, but I knew a truth. "Your fans have been lined up for days and are waiting for the concert."

Namjoon nodded. "Exactly. They are treating this like we're pros and a show they want to see. Let's not act like amateurs, okay?"

That hit me. He was right. We were in America. How would it look if two of our members were having a breakdown over an issue unknown to the fans as soon as they got on stage?

"We can't argue right now. We need to pull this concert off."

Another staff came in. "If you're ready, go."

The boys were now four minutes late. I hated being late, especially when I knew by now the fans were watching the clocks as soon as they had gotten to their seats that evening.

We all ran backstage. It was dark, and loud, and impossible to hear anything.

I went to Taehyung. His head was down as he hid in a dark corner.

Namjoon joined me and rested a hand on both of our shoulders. He leaned down, enough that Taehyung could see him from his downward gaze until he lifted his head to match Namjoon. My heart melted. They looked at each other for a few seconds, Taehyung's face wet with tears. Then, as an older brother would, our leader pulled him into a long hug before retreating back to the other boys. I took Tae to myself.

"Taehyung," I said. "I know how it feels to be in tears as you walk onto a stage. I know it happens, but I also know that not many people go onto stages this big." I was hesitating with my words. He was biting his lip as tears kept falling down his cheeks. "Taehyung oppa," I cried, pulling him into a hug of my own. "Taehyung, the issue itself doesn't matter. You guys will work it out as you have every other time and if you need more time to figure it out before the next show you will. I'm sorry that Jin yelled at you, that wasn't right. I don't stand with it. However, Taehyung, you can't go onto stage this sad. There are fans here that have been waiting, for days outside, who have been planning for months, who have spent their savings and time and energy to be here today. Many of them are seeing you for the first time today. Many of them are seeing you for their last. This is the day many have waited years for. Many of them will think about the way it made them feel when the lights go on and you all are on that stage about to sing Not Today. Today is a day to be happy being on that stage. I'm not saying at all that you are supposed to not feel your emotions or have them- you should! It's what makes you guys such good performers."

He was watching me, sniffing occasionally with his top teeth biting his lower lip. "All I'm saying is, you have to leave this behind for now. Your conversation with Jin stays right here, okay? Okay?" He wasn't going to nod, and he wasn't going to budge. "Kim Taehyung, I know how easy it'll be to ruin your concert, to dwell and be sad and hurt, to choke back tears as you face your fans. But please, Taehyung, for yourself, do not do it." I had to start yelling as the restless fans' cheers got louder from above. "You only get so many concerts, and you only get to meet some of these fans once. Put it down and I will help you pick it back up later when we need to. But you are going to be okay right now so you can enjoy this concert. Be okay."

He nodded. He actually nodded, and my heart soared. "Go to your bandmates. That is what they are. Jin might not agree or be very nice to you right now but he still loves you and he is still your bandmate. He is the reason you are here and you are the reason he is here. Without one of you there would be no BTS, you two have to respect each other enough to be coworkers because that is how you got there. You two owe it to each other. You understand that, don't you?"

He nodded again. "Now go show ARMY what BTS is. BTS overcomes these challenges. You have many times before. That is why you are able to sing and dance on this stage today. Okay? Okay. Now go to your bandmates." I pushed him lightly to the other six boys who were crowded around Namjoon to do their final chant before they started their two and a half hours of spotlight.

"Hey, really," Namjoon said, "We'll do this as BTS. It's not about V or Jin or RM. Bangtan bangtan!"

BTS replied to him, "Bang, bangtan!"

"We can do this. Let's do it."

As we waited for the lights to finally go down, Jin and Taehyung looked uncomfortable. All of the boys were getting their nerves out, jumping up and down, singing to warm up. Jimin checked in quickly with both boys. I went to Jin quickly to recite a little of what I'd told Taehyung.

"Taehyung was not questioning your talent or authority. He is the reason you are here and you are the reason he is here, and without one of you there would be no BTS. Do not question your talent or your belonging here– you just have two different ideas of what your performances need. You will sort it out but no one expects it to be right now. And don't let it ruin your concert, Jin. You are singing your songs on this stage today for a reason." Jin nodded, but I felt like he was starting to feel guilty. It was clear Taehyung wanted that, Jin didn't actually deserve it.

"Go, let's go," Namjoon said as staff rushed them up the stairs. I watched them up the stairs to the stage, hoping with everything I had they would perform just as they always had.

ARMY deserved nothing less, and the boys didn't deserve to hurt while they were on stage.

It was going to be so, so hard for them to shove their emotions in and forget what they felt on the inside. But they had to do it, and I wanted to have faith that they could. As Not Today started in the speakers above me, I prayed with my entire being it was going to be okay. Hearing the cheers of ARMY above, I had a feeling it would be.

We were all called to gather in the suite room for food after the concert. Taehyung took his corner of the tan couch, and Jin took the other side. I was on the floor with Hoseokand Namjoon. It was tense, and mostly silent except for the boys who weren't directly involved and had happy concert memories to share. But Jin looked guilty, and Taehyung looked hurt. So finally Yoongi brought it up, because we all knew it needed to be discussed and he was the only one brave enough to start.

"Now that we've listened, it's not about who's wrong. It didn't have to be that way. I'm sorry that it happened."

Jimin put in a few words, "But I think Jin could have listened and tried to do as asked. That's what I think."

Those words made me nervous. Choosing sides would only divide the rest of us, right?

I decided I was going to continue to be quiet for the rest of the conversation. I wasn't sure if my thoughts were aligning with the boys'.

Jimin continued, "And Taehyung, you.. This is what I think. I make a lot of mistakes too. But you shouldn't forget that he's older than you."

That was the point I had wanted to make. There was something about criticizing Jin in the way he did that we all knew wouldn't go over smoothly. There was always the pure fact that the elderly were to be respected.

"You're right," Taehyung replied in a strong voice, "I apologize for that. I acted selfishly. I talked to you with an attitude."

Then it was Jin's turn. "It's true that I disregarded you and that I offended you, but I'm older than you so that hurt my pride. I try not to impose myself on you guys because I think pridefulness is good for nothing."

"If I may explain myself, I never, not even once tried to offend you. I never thought 'Oh, I'm just going to offend him'."

"You're not trying to offend him," Yoongi agreed, "I don't think any of us does. Sometimes, we can't take a joke as a joke. That's what I thought it was."

"Let me know and I'll try to change that," Taehyung accepted.

But then Namjoon turned to Jin, "Regardless of what happened today, your jokes are sometimes too much." Ouch. "I also say the wrong things sometimes. We can get irritated, but I think we can think twice. The staff was there and it looked really serious, and it didn't need to be that loud of a conversation."

Yoongi nodded. "You didn't say it to each other, but I know you both are sorry. I'm sure that's all you could think of during the two hours of performing."

The boys kept going, discussing their views and actions, however it was with the perspective of common mistakes, forgiveness, and utter understanding. They also talked about respect. Watching them handle these upsets with such clear heads and controlled words put me in awe. It was really healthy, and it was something I hadn't seen before.

"But," Namjoon continued, his voice authoritative but kind, "you two affected the team and the concert anyway. In some ways. And honestly, that wasn't professional."