Chapter 54

Holden

       "What do you mean you're not going to bring them back here?" Shaw asked. "I thought I made it perfectly clear that they were going to come back to live with me and Holden once we got the test results and they were all clear."

       "You're right," Kendra said. "You did make it clear and that was what was going to happen. Until I went to go visit Hugh."

       I tried my best not to heavily sigh. Of course Kendra would visit go visit Hugh. Every single person who came into our lives negatively always found a way to stay in our lives. They couldn't just go away and stay away forever.

       "Wow, congratulations, you visited the man who tried to kill our kids' stepfather," Shaw said. "The court ordered me majority of the custody. You can't just take that away from me. You do know that's what gave me majority in the first place, right?"

       "Yes, and to save us the trouble, I figured it would be best to not involve the court," Kendra said. "Because I am fairly certain I will win majority, or even full custody this time."

       "And what makes you so certain?" Shaw asked. "I'm still capable of raising three children. Actually, make that four. One of which is a baby. Are you going to try taking Gibson away to?"

       "Gibson isn't my child," Kendra said. "Mercedes, Lucian, and Castiel are and I don't want them to spend most of their time with someone who is willing to kidnap another man, tie him to a tree, and threaten to kill him."

       "Wait, you did what?" I asked.

       "Okay, in my defense, he was trying to kill you and you're already very damaged," Shaw said. "I got mad."

       "Exactly!" Kendra said. "You got mad. You act irrationally when you get mad and I don't want anything bad to happen to our children under your care."

       "Kendra, you know I would never put them in harm's way," Shaw said. "You can't keep me from seeing them again."

      "Trust me, I'm not going to," Kendra said. "But I don't want them being in your care majority of the time so they're going to stay with me and only stay with you every other weekend. Just like before."

       "And what if I refuse?" Shaw asked.

       "Then we can get the courts involved," Kendra said. "Tell them that dark past of yours is clearly still present somewhere in you. Tell them you threatened to kill someone. They'll be more than willing to side with me."

       Kendra didn't say anything else before leaving our house, closing the door behind her. Shaw sighed before looking at me. "Can you believe her?" he asked.

       "Actually, yeah, I can," I said.

       "Are... are you serious?" Shaw asked. "You're my husband. You're supposed to be on my side."

       "Uh, no, not if I know you're in the wrong," I said. "Which, to clarify, I know that you're not fully in the wrong. You both made some points but... I have to side with Kendra on this one."

       Shaw didn't object. He just sighed and sat down beside me on the couch.

       "You are a good father," I said. "And I know for a fact that the kids will never be in harm's way when they're staying with you. That's not the part I know she's right about. You probably don't want to hear it but... That dark side of you is always going to be there."

       "Wow, coming from the person who assures that isn't me anymore," Shaw said.

       "Because... It may be more than just a dark side," I said.

       "I have no idea what you mean," Shaw said.

       "There's always an underlying cause," I said. "You can't just have this dark part of you without there being a reason towards it. Have you ever seen a psychologist about it or did you just assume you had to go to anger management?"

       Shaw furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me. "What makes you think that there's something else to it?"

       "I may have brain damage but I come from a family of geniuses," I said. "I can spot when someone... might have a mental illness."

       "Holden, with all due respect to that genius brain of yours, I'm twenty-five," Shaw said. "I think a doctor would have noticed if I have a mental illness."

       "A lot of people don't get diagnosed until later on," I pointed out. "If you want Kendra to stay on your side and not go to the court at all, I think you should get checked out. By a psychologist, not a doctor."

       Shaw was silent for a bit before saying, "You really think I'm mentally ill, don't you?"

       "I do but I don't think your case is severe," I said.

       Shaw chuckled slightly. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it's a shame you don't want to study anything in university. Whatever field you decide to go in will definitely benefit with you there."

       "Don't."

       "Don't what?"

       "Don't make me feel guilty for not wanting to go to university."

       "I'm not. Holden, I understand why you don't want to go. Being in high school was too stressful for you. I know you don't want to handle the stress of university. I'm just saying that if you did go, you would do amazing in what you chose. Now because I trust you so much, I am going to make a schedule with a psychologist to see if there is an underlying cause." Shaw patted my leg and gave me a quick kiss before getting up from the couch and heading to the kitchen.

       I just sighed and rested my head back in the couch. Now Shaw really had my mind going. I was twelve when my first brain injury happened and got short-term memory loss as a result, so I never really thought about anything I would have done after university as a career. I just thought I wouldn't be able to do anything so I gave up and just wanted to finish school.

       And now?

       I wanted to do something.

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lol this is going to be the longest book i'll ever write. i think so. did anything make it passed 55 chapters? because this will be longer than 55 chapters woo

and then sholden gets another book

so random question. does anyone know which one of my books is my favourite i've ever written?