Chapter 56

Holden

       The front door to the house opened and Shaw walked in. "You know what I absolutely love?" he asked.

       "Well, I would say me but the tone of your voice indicated sarcasm, so not me," I said, looking away from my laptop screen to look at my not-so-happy looking husband. "What happened this time?"

       "You know, you asking that only proves that our life is a complete mess and horrible things happen all the time," Shaw said as he closed the door, taking off his shoes before heading to the couch and flopping down. "I told Kendra about what's going on and exactly why I can't control my anger at times. I told her that I was getting help for it and she said that was great."

       "Okay," I said. "Why does that make you mad?"

       "Because she's still not letting the kids come back here," Shaw said. "And we can't even see them this weekend. And as much as I want to report her for breaking the custody arrangement, I have a feeling she'll actually be able to get full custody now that I actually have a condition that makes it hard for me to control my anger."

       "No, she's still breaking the arrangement," I said. "We could talk to Heidi. See what she thinks what the actually outcome will be."

       "There's no use," Shaw said. "I don't want to risk losing the kids altogether which might actually happen if we go to court. Again."

       "Why is she treating you like this?" I asked. "You two were best friends and then suddenly... You're always going against each other."

       "I'll give you a hint," Shaw said. "Hugh. She fell in love with Hugh and that man seems to hate me before he even met me. Everything he says and does is to ruin my life. Even when he's in jail. I bet you anything when he gets out, she's still going to get back together with him."

       "I stayed by your side when you were in prison," I pointed out.

       "Well, yeah, but I didn't attempt to kill someone," Shaw said.

       "I thought you killed Cassidy."

       "I'm sorry, are you... Are you taking Hugh's side? Over mine?"

       "What? No, of course not," I said. "I'm just saying that love makes you do crazy things. If Kendra really is in love with Hugh, she's going to try to put all the negative things behind."

       "Negative like attempting murder on her kids' stepfather?" Shaw asked. "Does she not know how devastated they would have been?" He then sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I hate this. I hate everything that's happening and it's stressing me out and I have no idea what to do."

       I closed my laptop and walked over to the couch, sitting down beside him. "You can always talk to me. Or I can try to talk to Kendra. Try to get her to see the light in exactly what Hugh put me through."

       "I wouldn't bother if I were you," Shaw said. "She's being really stubborn. I would be grateful if you did talk to her, but there's no point. We better just let everything go back to the way it was before this whole mess started happening. So anything new with you while I was arguing with my ex?"

       "Actually, yes," I said. "You know the university that's, like, a five minute drive from the village? I was on its website looking at the courses they offer. See if... any of them are in any interest to me."

       "Holden, are you... Are you planning on going to university?" Shaw asked and I nodded. "That's amazing! What made you change your mind?"

       "You did, actually," I said. "What you said to me about it being a shame my injuries are preventing me from doing a lot. You're right. Well, kind of. I'm really the one preventing me from doing more. I mean, I did extremely well in my English class without all the tests, and Jane helped me find an effective way to study. If I try, I can actually do well and do something I want to."

       Shaw smiled and pulled me into a hug. "I am so proud of you, Holden. You are going to do amazing in whatever you choose to do. So... What exactly are you going to choose?"

       "Honesly, I have no idea," I said. "I'm probably just going to go into general studies to see if I'm really going to be able to handle going to university and to explore the studies I am interested it."

       "Well, like I said, whatever you choose, you will do great," Shaw said. "So where is that son of ours?"

       "Napping, of course," I said. Gibson loved napping a lot during the day. And then at night, he was wide awake. We tried changing his sleeping schedule but it just didn't work. He loved his daily naps.

       I didn't blame him. Naps were great.

       "Oh, how I wish I could nap all day and not do anything else," Shaw said. "Now it's just work and cry about my miserable life."

       "You don't have a miserable life," I said.

       "You're right, I don't," Shaw said. "And that's definitely because I have the most amazing husbad I could ever ask for."

       I smiled as Shaw leaned over and pressed his lips on mine. Unfortunately, Gibson took that exact moment to start crying, so Shaw pulled away with a sigh while I chuckled. "I'll get him," I said, getting up from the couch and heading to the bedroom.

       I walked over to Gibson's crib and once I picked him up, his crying softened and he snuggled into me. He really hated waking up on his own, so all he had to do was be held for him to feel better.

       I went back to the living room and sat back down on the couch. "I was talking to Horatio not too long ago about the search for Gibson's mom," Shaw said. "They're still having no luck and they're giving it one more week before they close the case and will officially let us adopt Gibson."

       "Is it bad that I'm excited for that to happen?" I asked.

       "No, not at all," Shaw said. "You said it yourself, he's your son. For it to be official is really going to be amazing for both us and Gibson. Trust me, I'm excited too."

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and im excited not to be sick :') i'm absolutely loving my life right now.

AND THIS IS NOW THE LONGEST BOOK I HAVE EVER WRITTEN SO WOO. lol im surprised it wasn't a jerlan book. then again, jerlan is getting the most books sooooooo.

and i shall now reveal my favourite book i've written: Surviving the Life of Dax. i have such a soft spot for dax <3 he isn't my all-time favourite because nolan is superior but he's definitely up on the list.