This Oc belongs to @clamsandchickenwings
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Name: Nightstar
Okay, so a leader. Night is low-key boring and generic though

Past names: Owlkit, Nightkit, Nightpaw, Nightclaw (i'll explain)
Name change, alright alright.

Name reason: she has fur as dark as night
Makes sense
name reason for suffix: claw because she's fierce in battle
Also makes sense, but this is a very boring name so far. Not that basic names aren't okay, but this seem a little toooooo basic. Maybe spice up the reasons behind her name?

Appearance: A black she-cat with yellow eyes
I like how this is exactly the kind of description I say not to give in the form 😭😂

Gender: she-cat
Ok

Age: About 38 moons
Too young for a leader 0-0. She's like the age of a newly appointed deputy. Oh, if this helps anyone I made a chart for myself of Warrior cat moons and how I perceive their equivalence to human years. This wasn't scientific or anything, just my headcanons, but her age would be about 27 using this system. So like- pretty young to being holding so much power.

Personality: cunning, prickly, stubborn and bold
Again, kind of generic. Try adding more detail and other traits 'cus this rn this is not it

Clan: ShadowClan
Alright

Rank: Leader
Yup

Kin: Rosewhisker (mother, orange she-cat with white paws and green eyes, ThunderClan cat)
Forbidden love of course. I'm surprised she didn't stay with her mom but I guess her appearance is a dead give away to her father
Anyways more detail on her mother's appearance, it's extremely basic.

Adderheart (father, black cat with yellow eyes, ShadowClan cat).
Exactly the same description as hers so it needs more detail to separate them. Don't be afraid to make some comparisons with them, such as "he has a slightly darker pelt" or "she has a wider muzzle".

Flamelight (sister she's in the prophecy with
Oh, so there's a prophecy *suspicion*

orange she-cat with white paws and underbelly, yellow eyes, ThunderClan cat.)
Combined traits from mom and dad, nice. Buuuuut it needs detail!

I'll give you credit for the kits making sense with the parents thou

Kits: Fernkit, Hollykit
*insert descriptions here*

Crush: Hawkflight (WindClan tom she's in the prophecy with)
There's the prophecy again :b

And more fOrbIdDeN lOvE. Also where's his description??

Mate: Hawkflight, but breaks up with him when she becomes deputy
Career choices baby ✨

Friends: Batcall, Troutleap, Leafshine
*description insertions intensify*

Mentor with description: Foxtail- an orange tom with deep blue eyes
There's a lot of orange characters so far. Granted, two were related but he might as well be too since there's nothing special about his description to set him apart.

Backstory: A few days after Owlkit was born her mother took her and her sister Flamekit to the ShadowClan border so their father could meet them.
Owlkit is cute 😌

Before her father showed up an eagle took Owlkit away, intending to eat her,
jEsUs.

but a ShadowClan warrior was climbing a tree and found her and managed to get her out and kill the eagle along wiht help from a friend.
Snowkit is quaking (imsosorryitwasjustajokeisweardontkillme)

They took Owlkit to ShadowClan. Owlkit's father is dead by now.
OH, WHAT. How did he die?? He wasn't even there when she got taken by the eagle

Since Owlkit is too young to speak she can't tell them her name so ShadowClan raises her, naming her Nightkit.
Okie

Nightkit has a nice apprenticeship
Thank god there's at least a mention of her apprenticeship. People always forget this!

but she is always wondering where she was born and came from.
Wait, who's her adoptive mother? Shouldn't there be one listed in kin?

She befriends a tom named Batpaw (soon to be Batcall).
Mmkay

Meanwhile there is a prophecy that states a cat from each clan will stop the Dark Forest from controlling everyone's mind.
I'm sorry this just made me laugh 😭😂. I'm guessing in this world the DF has more power or something.

The leader and Medicine cat know she's in the prophecy because the prophecy says "There will be five, marked by the stars". Nightclaw has a marking on her right front paw (a small circle) and so do the others in the prophecy.
Why wasn't this in her description?? Also the marking on all of them seems a bit cliche.

Every quarter moon the cats of the prophecy meet up to disscuss how to fuffill the prophecy. She befriends the other cats of the prophecy, (Troutleap, Leafshine, Flamelight, and Hawkfeather."
Do their leaders all know? I'm assuming they do. Also if they all knew why not just share it with the clan

Nightclaw falls in love with Hawkfeather, and they have two kits.
That was..... sudden

But, when Nightclaw is selected to be clan deputy, she realizes she has to be more loyal to her clan to be deputy so she tells him they have to break up.
I mean, good choice but what happens to her kits? And where's the rest? She hasn't even become leader yet :/

Review: This is gonna be a shorter review since there's not a ton in this form, and I only have two main points to make.

~Descriptions~
All descriptions need to be much more detailed than what they are now. A thing that helps me is comparing the characters in a form to eachother. Who's the tallest? Who's the shortest? Who has the longest tail? Who has the biggest ears? Who's the most muscled? Is this characters fur fluffier than this other character? I've used this technique for my own forms recently and it's helped me create detailed descriptions and help people envision what my characters look like next to eachother.

~Backstory~
Definitely needs more detail.. There's some key things missing and it kind of glosses over a lot of major events and relationships. For example, I'd love to see how Hawkflight and Nightstar fell in love and what his personality was like, as well as their friends. Also I think you need to add some explanation as to why she became deputy and who the leader who chose her was. Besides that just continuing the backstory would honestly add a lot to her character.

Hope this helped! ✨