He jerked up from his sleep sweating profusely.

He looked around but it was all blurry because of the tears in his eyes.

He wiped his eyes and realised it was just a nightmare he saw but not reality.

He looked down to see her photo on his lap and seeing her smiling face itself brought back his tears.

He knows he can't be like this forever, he had to move on but he doesn't know how.

He bent and took her diary. He turned to the last pages she had written for him.

You are reading this...... that means I am gone. It may be hard for you to believe but it's the truth. You must be thinking why I wrote all this to you. I wrote this because I know how much you are hurting now.

You must have locked up yourself in your room without letting anyone in.
I know you must have also stopped talking to everyone. You must be not eating properly and also not taking care of yourself. That's why I am writing this to let you know that I am watching you.

If I had it in me I would have never let you go but we can't fight against the fate and destiny......what it is meant to be it will happen and I want you to know I would never want you to beat yourself for what happened to me.

I also know you must be blaming yourself for what you are not responsible. It was always known that I am sick and I will be gone, please don't blame yourself for the inevitable.

It's hurting me knowing that I will be not there to wipe your tears, to console you, to hug you and to say everything will be alright........please Siddu......don't hurt yourself.

My soul will never rest in peace if you are hurting. I know you don't know how to move on from what happened but don't hurt others around you especially your parents. Don't give them sorrow by mouring over me, I want you to be happy with your parents, with my parents and with our friends.

You might get angry on me again for asking you to move on but it's the fact. Please accept it.

I am not saying this because of me I am saying this because I don't want you to hurt people around you who cares for you.

Sometimes it's better to let go..... I had to let you go Siddhu. It was very difficult for me to let you go but I have to because I have no choice. You should also let me go because it's fate. Life must go on, it should not stop because someone is not there.

I know it's difficult for you to cope up  with the fact that I am not there anymore but you should move on in your life because I don't want you to ruin your life because of me.

It may seem to the world that I am dead but for you I am alive always in your heart......close to you...... when you close your eyes you will see me, I will come in front of you whenever you remember me, I will hold your hand whenever you need me it's just that my physical appearance is not there but mentally I am always with you.

I know to say it's easy but hard to follow. Never think that you are alone I'm always there with you in your every breath, in your every heart beat, in your every thought and in your every smile too.

I will be alive in your smile so always smile Siddu.

I love you.

" I Love you."

" I Love you..."

" I Love you....."
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He kept chanting and sobbed clutching the book to his chest.

Everyone could hear his sobs outside his room but no one can do nothing about it other than crying silently to themselves.

******

It was twelve in the night and he entered into the house quietly but stopped in his tracks when he saw his parents and Anu's parents in front of him looking at him worried.

Anu's mom came angrily towards him and slapped right across his face. He looked at her whose tears are flowing and looked at his parents who looked stunned at him.

" Where were you?" She asked him.

He didn't reply.

" We were so worried about you. You are not answering our calls and we don't know where you are. Your parents came here worried to know about your whereabouts." Anu's mom yelled at him.

He stayed silent looking down.

" Sid?" His father called him.

He looked at his father who was looking defeated at him and at his mother who was crying for him.

He then looked at Anu's mother and wiped her tears.

" She wouldn't want this......" Anu's dad whispered wiping his own teary eyes.

" I am okay..... don't worry." Siddharth said and walked towards Anu's room which became his room now.

" We lost our daughter, we don't want to lose you too." Anu's mom cried.

Siddharth froze and shut his eyes tightly.

" We didn't lose her." He said gritting his teeth.

" Siddharth it's been a month, you have to move on......you promised her." Anu's mom pleaded him.

" Move on? Leaving her just like that?" Siddharth growled.

" Then what you will do? Ruin your life like this? When is the last time you had your complete meals? When is the last you slept peacefully? When is the last time you had smiled? When is the last time you had talked to us? When si that last time you have been normal?" Anu's father questioned him angrily.

" I don't want to talk about this right now." Saying this he turned away.

" No! You have to! You are ruining your life and we can't see you suffering like this. We can't bring her back...... accept this and start a new life." Anu's mom said crying.

Siddharth's parents were overwhelmed by the love Anu's parents have for their son because they are worried about him exactly like he is their own son.

" Don't say that! She is not dead for God sake and I know she will be back....." Siddharth shouted.

Everyone went silent at this.

" Why are you people talking like she is dead and will not come back?" He asked them clenching his jaw and fists.

" It's you who is behaving like she is dead." Siddharth's mom spoke sternly to him.

Everyone looked at her.

" It's you who is behaving like she is dead.......it's you who is mourning as if she is dead......it's you who is showing the world that she will not return......it's you who is proving that your love is weak and she is dead......." She shouted angrily.

" Ma! Anu is not dead......She is in coma." Siddharth cried loudly.

" Yes Sid.......she is not dead, we all know that. She is in coma, we don't know when she will wake up and we don't know if she ever wakes up. But your behaviour is making us think that it's over and you have given up. You have given up on trying to wake her up and accepted your defeat that too just in a month." His mom said wiping her tears and glared at him.

" Your mom is right beta. We have been trying our best to cure her and we are consulting top most doctors for that. You also have to co-operate with us." His dad said sighing.

" I know you are unable to bear her condition, you are unable see like this.......but what we could do? You and your love only can do something now. You are proving her right about you ruining your life because of her. Weren't you the one who atleast wanted her infront of you alive? She is alive and breathing and is in front of you........we should be happy for that and try to wake her up but all we do is cry." Anu's mom said to him holding his hands.

Siddharth fell on his knees crying.

" I don't know what to do. I can't see her like that without moving and without talking. I am afraid if she will ever open her eyes. Today whole day I was in the hospital only talking to her and asking her get up. I am scared to face the truth and the reality of her not waking up anymore." Siddharth sobbed clutching his head with his hands.

Their hearts ached with pain looking at his pain. They all crouched down before him and hugged him rubbing his back.

They don't have any choice other than to wait and see what fate had decided for them.

They were broken when they got to know that Anu slipped into coma. The operation was successfully and they had controlled the internal bleeding too but as the doctors said before that there is only 3-4% chances of her survival. She has survived but has slipped into coma and doctors said that they can do nothing about it other than to wait.

Doctors are injecting some medicines daily so that her condition might improve but it is only upto fate. Only a miracle can make her come out of the coma.

And they are waiting for that miracle.

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To be Continued...........

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Stay Tuned............