Good Friends?

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Good friends?
Yeah, I've had good friends before.
A couple... like I can count them on one hand.
Still though, when I think of those friends, I'm back in that happy world. You know, that one where it felt like anything was possible?
That one that made you feel like you were worth something?
I actually miss that world. Those times where I thought I could be anything or anyone I wanted to be.
But that world...
It's gone.
It left me anyway.
Why?
Good question.
Part of me wants to blame others. Like other people giving up on me is why I'm hurting so much.
I guess I wouldn't be lying.
But it wouldn't be the whole truth either.
Because if I think, and dig deep into those feelings, I see my own actions.
And those friends I had?
Well, I've broken some hearts along the way.
And I broke mine in the process.
I miss those friends. Those ones who loved me for who I am. The ones who were always there for me.
The ones I only now see in my dreams.
Because now I look at the people around me. And they're only in it for themselves.
That world where I could be anything has faded away, to be replaced by the cold, hard place they call reality.
Don't like it much to be honest.
Oh well.
It was my fault in the end.
Friends, if you read this, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for leaving you. For not explaining where I went.
You've done nothing wrong.
And I wish you all the best of luck.
I pray everyday that you remain in the world where you can accomplish the impossible.
Because out here, only the strong survive.
And I guarantee I'm not one of those.

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